Chapter 1: Kaul VS Naik-round one
It's a quite morning in one of mumbai's crowded basti area. Peoples were hovering here and there and started their daily works. At a corner, a people was sipping hot cutting chai from a thela and chatting with chai wala. "arey bhai kya kahoon mahengai ka zamana hain, daam itna bar gaya hain ki kya kahon!" the customer said. "arey deai sahab sahi kaha aapne, dukan se chai patti kharidne jaon toh lagta hain sona kharidne gayahoon." The chai wala said. "thik kaha aap ne chacha! Waisey aaj kuch ajeeb nahin lag raha hain na?" mr desai asked. "haan kuch ajeeb hain." Chai wala said. Suddenly both of them looked towards each other with wide eyes. "itna sannata kyun hain bhai?" both of them said in unison. Suddenly they heard the scream near municipalities tap. They looked towards the crowd near the tap and saw two wemen. One was wearing saree in kolhapuri style and another woman was wearing churidar and the dupatta was kept around her neck covering her head and shoulder. "lo fir suru ho gayi roj ka live tv serial!" chai wala said. "yaar ye kantabai aur noor ji bhi na.." mr desai said. "arey sirf in dono kyun. Pura basti to in parosion ko kaurav aur pandav ke naam se jante hain." Chai wala said. At that moment noor apa and kanta bai's fight had warmed up near the tap. "dekh noor apa... hath yahan se aur mere ko pani lene de." Kanta bai said fixing her pallu and saree. "arey main kyun hathon. Pahele main ayi thi toh pani bhi main hi bharoongi." Noor apa said keeping her hand in her waist. Both of them was not a little bit agreed to leave a single inch ground.
Kanta bai: dekh noor apa. Mere pass time nahi hain. Abhi time hain mai ke nind se jag ne ka aur mereko uss sey pehele apna kaam khatam kar ne ka...
Noor apa: arey oo kanta bai, main kya ghass khati hoon. Didi bhi abhi uth jayegi!! Aur mujhe bhi apne kaam pe lagna hain. Aur meri didi kaam pe bhi jati hain, toh unke liye jaldi khana bana na parta hain.
The thing is that there was a bit problems in drainage system which was under repair. So the people had to manage with municipality's water taps for one week. And that's the cause of conflict between noor and kanta. But basti peoples are habituated with it. They knew that the people of two houses just need the opportunities and they all were in ground with their arms and shield. But their fight was quite enjoyable to their neighbors. Cause they never harm each other physically or mentally but their verbal fights were worth to watch. They felt like watching a live comedy movie.
Kanta: arey teri geeta didi bari ayi... wo collage chalati hain to humari daya mai ghar chalati hain. Aur ghar chalana koi asan nahi hota... Haan.(she made a face).
Noor: arey ooh kanta. Bari ayi humein ghar dwar sikhane. Chalo rasta choro aur mujhe pani bhsarne do.
Kanta(closed noor's way taking the tub in her hand): apa pani toh aaj main hi bharoongi! Kaal tune itnas pani bhara ki main jab lene ayi toh sab gul!! Aaj toh main tujhe kabhi pani nahi lene doongi!
Noor: arey kanta tumhe pata nahi kya? Sare nau baje pani chala jata hain aur agar tu das baje ayegi toh pani kaise milegi tujhe?! aur waisey bhi tumlog bhi kuch kam nahi ho. Kaal dudhwale ko zabardasti pahele apne ghar mein ghusa ke acha sa gara dudh le liya. Aur humein mila sara sa dudh wo bhi itna sa.
Kanta: arey khali pili humpe ungliya mat utha. Pata hain humne pehele dudh liya toh humein mila upar ka pani milaya huya dudh.
Noor: toh haan isme mujhe kyun zimmedar thahra rahi hain. Galti toh dudh wale ki hain.
Kanta: mere ko pata hain tum kaul walo ne nazar lagayi humpe iss liye aisa huya!!
Noor: hay allah!! Dudh wale ne milawat ki toh isme bhi humari galti? Tum naik sadan ke log kitne purane khayalat wale ho!!
Kanta: aur haan tum sab jaise bare modern ho!!... ayi Kashmir ki kaliyan Mumbai mein raj karne.
Noor: kanta tum had se agey bar rahi ho...
Kanta: arey ja ja mere ko hadh mat sikha...
Their verbal fight didn't sign to stop ever. The people around them were sighing and enjoying the scene which they had to face each and every day. A middle aged woman wearing saree peeped from veranda of kaul house. "arey noor kya ho raha hain niche?" she asked. Both kanta and noor looked up. "arey saroj di dekhiye na. ye kanta bai mujhe pani lene nahi de rahe hain." Noor said. "arey main tere ko pani lene nahin de rahi hoon ya tu mere ko pani lene se rok rahi hain!!" kanta said angrily. "arey bas karo tum dono!" saroj said. "nahi didi aaj toh faisla hoke hi rahega." Noor said and they again started their quarrel. "hey bhagwan!!" saroj stroke her forehead. "arey kya ho raha hain?" suddenly a middle aged man wearing glasses came out. "arey dekhiye na!" saroj indicated towards noor and kanta. "arey fir se.." that man said. "arey niche jaiye aur un dono ko rokiye." Saroj said. "kya main?!" he said in scared voice. "arey jaiye na.." saroj pushed him. "thilk hain thik hain!" he said and went. Noor and kanta's conflict was in full swing. He came there in nervous face. "arey shant ho jao tum dono..." he tried to calm them down. Both noor and kanta snapped bavk to him. "arey aap.." noor said. "eeh govind ji, dekh mera bheja waisey hi sanka huya hain teri pyari noori ki wajah se.. ab issey aur mat sanka!!" kanta bai said in angry voice. "kanta tum aise kaise baat kar sakte ho mere govind bhaiya ke sath?" noor got back in action mode. "kanta pls shant ho jao.." govind tried to say. "arey oh kanta kya ho raha hain?!" suddenly another man came there and sniffed at the spot. "ee manohar bhai kitne baar kahene ka ki mere kaan ke niche mat chikne ka!!..mere ko kitanu(germs) lag jayega!!" kanta said in annoyance. "arey kanta ye toh bata tujhe itni der kyun ho rahi hain pani lane mein?!" manohar asked. "arey kya bataon bhaisahab in panoti o ne phir se rok diya humko!" kanta said indicating towards noor and govind. "arey inn login se kya darna.. kanta tu pani bhar. Dekh ta hoon kaun rok ta hain.. aur waise bhi naha ne ke baad mujhe surya pranam (worship of sun god) karne chat pe jana hain.." manohar said. "haan haan aap ke surya pranam himein ache se pata hian bhai sahib, surya pranam ke bahane chat pe uthkar aap pichle road mein laga huya Katrina kaif ke bare se poster ko taak te rehete hain..." noor said suddenly. "kya??!! Deva re deva!!" kanta said. "noor kisne kahan tumhe?!" manohar asked in a quite loud but embarrassed tone. "chat pe kapre sukhate jati hoon toh main apni akhon se dekhti hoon aap ko..." noor said. "aur tub hi kaun si doodh ki dhuli huyi hain noor, dinraat to shaukat bakery mein arshad miyan ko taak te reheti hain!!" kanta started again. "arey chup ho jao tum dono.." govind said. But no one noticed his words. "bhgwan kis ko bheja maine jhagara rok ne ke liye.." saroj shied looking at them from balcony.
Precap: "arey raghu niche kahani ghar ghar ki serial ki live telecast chal raha hain aur tu itne awaz mein kaise raha hain?" he said. "arey isme naya kya hain satya?! Roj toh ye bai vs apa ke match ki radio telecast suru ho jata hain subah subah. Abto adat par chuki hain. Sone de yaar!" raghu covered himself properly with the blanket.
Guyzz tried something new on rantara. It's gonna be a totally funny story. Rantara's love story with a touch of comedy. And also bittersweet conflict between kaul and naik house. I never wrote comedy before. First time try! So please give me your views. They are very precious to me. And should I cont it?! Pls say quickly.😳
Edited by ifians - 11 years ago
CID
