FF: War Path (Aslok fight it out)

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@-silhouette-

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#151

What a fun-filled update!!! :D So much drama and emotions, loved it. The scene where Anjali sees Aastha on the balcony had so much meaning to it. It was perfect, I could feel the connection between the two. The other scene I really liked was when Aastha smashed her bangles, shows how much she actually loved him and how hurt she was. You write very simply yet it is convincing and beautiful.

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Marybarton

@Marybarton

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#152

Originally posted by: writergrl1992

😆😆😆 😳

Read all the three chapters in one go... and... wow. Just wow.
The emotions, the flow of events, it's so right ,just the way it should go, and I hope it goes.

There are some awesome moments too...My favourite being... Suresh applying Mehendi on Shlok!!! 🤣 Awww! 🤣

Anjali slapping Shlok was an unexpected turn of events for me... Shlok does need a wake-up call but I still can't imagine Anjali hitting someone... she's the perpetual victim. It would be good for both of them if she did that, though...

Awesome writing! 🥱😊👏

PS, there is a small typo in Chapter 1 😊

Thanks for the typo.

I agree that Anjali was she is would not. I am feeling after her fights with Shlok that she is capable of standing up for herself against him because he's her son.

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Marybarton

@Marybarton

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#153

Silent members have been buddying me expecting PMs. Please let me clarify again, I do not send PMs, especially not to people who never even comment on my stories. It is only fair. I post the stories here and it's here for everyone to read, but if people cannot even be bothered to press "like," I don't feel it is right to expect me to send personal PMs either. In any case, I do not PM at all. If I do, I will only be PMing the regular readers that I am familiar with through comments. No offense but 7,000 views later, I am a little frustrated.

Symbols I put in the story so far:

1. Chapter 1 has Shlok and Astha wearing red formals. If you look closely, they could have been cut from the same cloth. Same with his wedding attire, there's a color theme. It is meant to highlight that they are two halves of a whole. Yes, I am cheesy like that 😆. Those pictures took a long time to find.

2. Shlok's engagement band as a dent-like design. That shows that there is a break in Astha's perfect love story.

3. Astha's engagement ring, as Shlok notices, is a red ruby in a claw. The red ruby is Astha's heart. The claw is Shlok and the way he has possessed her. But it is his heart that gets caught in a vise in one of the lines. If you visualize it, you will see that it can look like Astha's engagement ring. So who is really the prey?

4. Astha's mehendi is a peacock. A multicolored creature coming into Shlok's white (but really dark) world. He likes all his wedding decor white as you saw in Chapter 3, but she runs into the room and sparkles red like a flower in her lehenga. Shlok actually loves how she brings life into his world symbolically through color, especially red (sindoor).

5. The peacock mehendi also makes an S (or a few) in her hand. Shlok's initial as the husband. He was supposed to find it.

6. Mustard mehendi is just traditionally the bright, new start and all.

7. His wedding car is black with white roses. While it may be his idea of a wedding decor, it can be easily mistaken for a funeral car. Doomed marriage.

8. Astha breaks her green suhagan bangles (symbolizing that she is his), thereby rejecting their marriage.

9. Anjali warned her about Agnihotri mansion being a glass house, but Astha's first reaction in this house is to break glass (her bangles) meaning she will be a huge challenge for the Agnihotri household.

10. Shlok notices all these symbolisms and is affected by them. That's why his reaction was to call the engagement ring apt for the occasion and feel broken when he sees she broke all the glass bangles.

That's all folks. I thought about these things when I wrote the pieces, so I just wanted you to see him, in case you didn't already.

Edited by Marybarton - 12 years ago

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Marybarton

@Marybarton

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#154

Please see symbolisms post above. It will explain what is going on in the story.

Chapter 4

Fresh humiliation washed over her as Astha stared numbly at her reflection in the mirror above the sink.

All their meetings from the last few months flashed like a non-stop film before her eyes. How many of those moments were planned?

He had single-handedly set out to ruin her and she foolishly let him manipulate her girlish dreams.

Now he was her husband. She was this man's wedded wife - having pledged her life, love, and loyalty to him. He never cared for her. "Gullible" and "stupid" were the words he used.

And she was, the gullible and stupid girl who thought that standing up for her beliefs was the right thing to do no matter who the obstacle was. He taught her a lesson. He did not respect her for her faith in her ideals, he hated her precisely because of it.

Should I tell Ayi and Baba? No, they could never forgive themselves for letting me step into this hell. They had talked her into marrying him once his interests became clear...once she was entangled. No one could unsee them together, he was always making him intentions clear. His evil intentions. No, her family could never live it down. She could never undo it and really feel free. Her life was guaranteed to be a misery whether she broke this marriage or not. Shlok had made sure of that.

An icy chill startled Shlok from his sleep. He woke up, gasping for breath. He automatically wiped the water from his face. The freezing cold water was seeping in through his sherwani, making him physically recoil.

He blinked hard. He barely slept an hour tonight and this weary week was finally taking its toll on him.

Astha lightly: Day 1 of marriage, husband dearest, wake up.

Shlok noticed the bucket in her hand then.

Shlok groggily: What...?

Astha shoved him against the back of the divan and perched down on a dry spot.

Astha: I will do the talking now, if you don't mind. You see hubby, I realized something when you left last night (she waited patiently)...ask what?

Shlok studied her. Her cold, calculated voice betrayed extreme hurt, it showed in her eyes. Those eyes betrayed a fierce passion that she was not letting her voice express.

Astha smiled: Chalo koi nai, I will tell you. It occurred to me that you wanted a revenge wedding, but you did not plan anything beyond it. And now it is up to me as the dutiful wife to give you a marriage.

He did not like this menace in her voice. This dripping in ice sweetness was worse than sitting in one's freezing-wet sherwani before dawn. First his mother and now Astha was rallying up against him. He knew he disappointed them, but he didn't like seeing this side to them...

Astha grew very grim and said deliberately: Matlab, shaadi tumne ki hai, lekin nibhaungi mein. (She laughed) That was quite poetic! Too good. Oh, I crack myself up! (She chucked). Anyways, I have decided. Shlok. If we are meant to be together, I am going to make the most of it. And nothing will make me happier than taking care of you as you deserve to be taken care of.

There was a manic glint in her eyes. One of very deep hatred. He knew this glint because he has had it in his eyes for her until very recently. She was not his innocent, unassuming girl anymore. She was not the Astha who would burst into tears at the merest squeeze or threat from him. She was the same girl in the same wedding dress, but she was a different person.

It crushed him inside to see how he had broken her, hardened her. Thanks to him, this sheltered pet had seen the ugliest side of the real world in one night.

Astha was serious. He watched her quietly.

Astha: You hated the girl who stood up for herself, so you broke her. You made a grave mistake Shlok Agnihotri, a grave mistake. Now you will deal with a woman who you empowered by making your wife. You think you beat me!? You axed your own foot, Shlok Agnihotri. I am in your house, in your room, in your life! Now you will know what it is to have me for a wife. I won't let you eat, sleep or think in peace. Ek bhi chain ki saans nehi lene dungi tumhe!

Shlok: I know you are upset...

Astha shushed him: Shhh...quiet. Tell me this. How low did you actually go, Shlok? Was the hotel room lock planned by you?

He looked away, shamefaced.

Astha swallowed: And the...rickshaw wala?

Shlok glared at her: No! Of course n-

He felt her backhanded sting as her engagement ring swiped against his cheek, drawing blood.

Astha stood up: You are a SICK man. SICK! You think you can just deny it when you knew just where to find me!?

Shlok was too stunned to speak. Did she just hit him? His heart was racing.

She turned away from him: And those gifts, out in the office for everyone to see. God, you must have had a laugh. Stupid Astha. Silly Astha. All it takes is a few kind words and she melts. (She burst into tears and hid her face in her hands. Drenching her mehendi). Kash tum samajte, innocence is precious. But no, you took advantage of mine, you degenerate!

She was still raining insults on him as the sun rose. Astha stilled. She looked out the balcony and slowly made her way there.

Those tears were glistening on her sunlight-framed face. Her weary, emotionless look tugged at his heartstrings.

He watched as she kicked the broken bangles on the floor. She might as well have kicked him in the chest because that is what it felt like.

She stayed there a while.

Shlok's eyes followed her as she quietly swept into the bathroom and locked the door behind her with a sound click.

If only she knew how it felt to be in his shoes right now, she could not have hated him as he feared she did. If she would just look at him and see how much he suffered already...

Shlok was feeling so weak and spent. He had not had a proper night's sleep since the shaadi was fixed and how he feared his guilt would not let him sleep again. And there was Astha. His sweet, innocent, petite little wife - on war path. He mourned her loss as he realized he would not see that girl again.

The intercom rang.

When Shlok finally picked up, Baba spoke: Beta, please join us for arti this morning. I know you don't believe in all this, but it is your wife's first day in her new home and it is very important that you do this together.

Shlok panicked: Yes, Baba.

How could he convince her to behave well with his family after what had just transpired between them?

As he quickly changed to go to his brother's room, he heard the shower turn on.

Astha quietly took off all her wedding trousseau and stepped into the shower. Turning it on full speed, she let the water wash away her weary, broken thoughts. They were going to be back soon enough, but the momentary relief did her good.

When Sojal opened her door expecting Ayi, she was shocked to find her devar standing there. He was looking rather harassed and with a scratch down his cheek.

Sojal: Shlok, what happened to your cheek!?

Shlok brushed it off: Nothing. It's nothing.

Sojal grinned, making her own conclusions. It hurt him to see what was going through her head. As if he would be so lucky.

Sojal: Right...

Shlok adamantly: Look, I came here for something important.

Sojal: But your brother is still asleep.

Shlok: No, it is you I came to see. Do you have green bangles? I needed them for Astha.

Sojal in shock: Woh bhi tor di!?

Shlok exasperated: Do you have any extras?

Sojal: Sure, let me see.

She handed him a box as she stifled a giggle.

Shlok: Ah...don't tell anyone, okay?

Sojal nodded: Your secret is safe with me, bhauji.

Shlok quickly made his way back. It was not her fault, but Sojal was really a pain sometimes.

He found Astha in front of the mirror. She was looking beautiful in a pink sari, but she had no mangalsutra, sindoor or bangles in her hand. The only sign that she was married was on her hands because she could not wash it off.

Shlok spoke quietly: I got you some green bangles from Sojal.

Astha coldly: What makes you think I would want to wear them?

Shlok: There's an arti downstairs. For your first day.

Astha defiantly stared at his reflection the the mirror.

Shlok: Please, it is a request. Baba will be really upset if you don't put these on.

Astha: And what makes you think I will do anything to please your Baba? Or any member of your family for that matter?

Shlok looked down at the ground as he spoke: Sojal's ones look bigger than yours, they won't hurt to put on.

Astha glared at him: But they will hurt me inside! To think that I would put anything associated with you close to me is revolting! It makes me want to throw up (she said shrilly)!

Shlok: Please, your battle against me. Don't hurt my Baba because of me.

Astha smirked: Yet, you ruined my entire family's happiness by dragging me into this marriage.

Shlok looked up: They do not know anything.

Astha sadly: They will one day. Maybe today, during the pak-phere.

Shlok was alarmed: They don't need to know.

Astha: These mehendied hands might hide my bruises from your dysfunctional family (she saw him flinch), but not from mine, Shlok Agnihotri. They love me, they know when I am unhappy.

A knock on the door alerted him.

Shlok opened it to see Ayi standing there.

Ayi, hard-faced as always: Go downstairs, I will bring her down.

Shlok looked back at Astha. She was glaring at him with brimming eyes now, adamantly sitting in front of the dressing table. She was not going to be compelled. To him, she looked so small and vulnerable, despite all her bravado.

Shlok angrily: You won't force her.

Ayi: Don't pretend like you care Shlok. Go downstairs. (When he did not move, she softened a little). I will be gentle. Go.

Shlok gave her the bangle set and left.

Please comment. Hope this was up to expectation. Please also read the symbolism post above. Depending on the response, I will decide whether to continue or not. It is hard to keep a story running in the FF forum.

Chapter 5: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/93895597

Edited by Marybarton - 12 years ago

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neha2005

@neha2005

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#155

Nice update! Wonder what ayi will do now

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jeenia123

@jeenia123

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#156

This was beautiful... wow. Astha is really n revenge path.just love it. but i hope she will keep it upto shlok only. or it will be showing din mein taare to the complete family?????????😆

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@rbb1

Elite

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#157

oh god poor Astha feel so sorry for her, Thank you for the update. I wonder what Anjali will say to Astha to make her go downstairs and pretend to be Shlok's wife