Sh: like you care?
Sw: of course I do baby but please try to understand
Sh: that's what I've been doing, but now I don't want to understand and saying so I cut the call and threw the phone on my bed.
I cuddled into my blanket with some tears making their way out onto my cheeks. She hugged her pillow closely to her chest. She tossed on her bed trying to get some sleep. She closed her eyes wanting to fall asleep but that didn't help her. She lay on her back staring at the ceiling with a blank face when she felt her cheeks getting wet again. Sometimes you face this awkward moment when you're sad but you don't know why, you have so many questions but you don't find any answer, you want to stand on a mountain and scream out loud; your frustration, your anger, your confusion, looking at the sky wanting answers to so many questions which arise out of no where. That moment you need someone to hold your hand, hold it with gentle and tender care, a shoulder to cry, a pair of eyes that look into ours seeing the emptiness. The silent cry converted to soft sobs and later it turned out to be louder, the intensity of the sobs kept increasing and she hid her face in the pillow and cried her heart out. She looked at her phone but as usual it made her more depressed.
Sh: mere liye ek pal bhi nai hai kya
She drifts to sleep in between her sobs.
She woke up in the morning, but there wasn't any hope in her eyes like everyday, that smile of hers left her and it didn't have any reason that it had to come back. She checked her phone, she had a message,
Sw: good morning baby
She didn't care to reply. Instead she threw her phone on frustration on the bed.
She freshened up and left for work. She didn't have that grace in her, she felt everything tear apart. It was linch time and like the past few days she went to a near by place, secluded, lonely. She liked going therem spending time alone and listening to songs. Her mind wanded back to the past when she brought Swayam to this place.
Flashback
Thye've been out for lunch and after they were done Sharon asked Swayam to follow her.
Sw: Sharon hum kaha ja rahe hai?
Sh: bas chup chap chalo Swayam.
She held his hand and literally dragged him to the place she wanted to take him.
Sh: this is it' I always wanted to get you here someday; it's been my favourite place.
Sw: and how did you that discover something like this existed? Asked a curious Swayam.
Sh: I don't know I just happened to pass by this place one day and then everyday during lunch breakI used to come here. I like beign here when im sad, happy, I like spending time here.
So how do you like it here?
Sw: its beautiful, calm. Thanks for showing me this place.
Sh: come lets sit
They sat there spending some amazing time together.
Present
Sh (to herself): I miss you Swayam, I miss being with you.
Some drops of water made way onto her pinkish now re d cheeks. Her phone rang but she didn't answer, she got several text messages but didn't bother reading them. She brought her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and rested her head between her knees letting her heart out with her tear drops. When her tears had dried she checked her phone only to find 10 missed calls from Swayam. She didn't want to talk to him anytime soon but she put aside her feelings at the moment and called back. Swayam answered the call in the 1st ring itself.
Sh: hello
Sw: where are you?
Sh: I'm at work
Sw: don't lie to me Sharon; I know you're not at your work place
Sh: how do you know? And I may be anywhere, how does it matter?
Sw: stop acting immature Sharon, I've been calling you since 1 hour and you didn't even bother to answer me, i'
Sh: like you answer my calls these days
Sw: where are you at the moment, im coming to pick you
Sh: No you're not
Sw: yes I am
Sh: I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU
And she cut the call not stopping the tears that fell from her eyes. She was hurt, she did not want to be so rude to him but she had to, he forced her to be so. She sat there staring at his picture on her mobile and reminiscenced about the time he asked her out for the 1st time.
Flashback
Swayam and Sharon were 17; they studied in the same school; they've been together in the same school since kindergarten. Sharon had a crush on Swayam from a long time but never approached him. They remained to be classmates, smiled at each other when they would cross each others path. It was during their last year of school when they ended being benchmates and started interacting with each other. Sharon ddint have many friends, apart from kria who happened to be her best friend- rey's girl friend. Swayam was a popular boy at school but he didn't have many friends like Sharon, not because he did not find anyone but because he could never find a true friend in anyone apart from rey.
So the 4 of them bonded closely to each other. Sharon hid her feelings and tried to be swayam's friend. But one day Swayam invited her for dinner. She was surprised and after a lot of thinking she said 'yes' to him. She was happy; she went home, took a quick shower and spent a lot of time in front of her wardrobe deciding about the dress she was going to wear tonight. She picked out a red dress, did a little makeup and finally looked at herself in front of the mirror for the last time. She lost track of time while getting ready.
The door bell rang and she rushed down stairs to open it. She opened the door to find Swayam looking as handsome as ever. She was drooling over him.
Sw: hey
Sh: hi
Sw: you look beautiful.
Sharon blushes at his compliment
Sw: so shall we?
Sh: ya sure.
They sat on Swayam's bike and drove to the beach where Swayam arranged a small dinner for both of them. Sharon was in awe of everything he did for her. She still felt like she was dreaming but it was happening for real. Swayam took care of her choice and she felt like hugging him for making this night so special for her. After dinner Swayam asked Sharon for a walk around the beach. They walked beside each other and sfter sometime she felt Swayam's fingers intertwined in hers. She felt a current pass through her body upon feeling swayam's touch. She blushed and at the same time she felt swayam's grip tighten on her fingers. She held them back with all love still not daring to look at Swayam. They hardly spoke during their walk. Suddenly Swayam stopped and Sharon heard him say something
Sw: I like you Sharon
Sharon not hearing him clearly was wondering what he spoke?
Sh: what?
Sw: its true Sharon, I like you, I really like you. But never had the courage to express my feelings but I cant hold them back any more.
Sharon kept staring at his face with tears brimming in her eyes.
Sw: will you be my girl friend Sharon?
And a tear drop fell from Sharon's eyes
Sw: hey don't cry, I mean it's okay if you don't want to get into a relation with me. I'm fine being your friend, i'
Sh: I like you Swayam. I've liked you since forever.
Sw: you what?
Sh: I like you, I would love to be your girl friend.
As a reflex action Swayam hugged her.
They sat on the beach for sometime with Swayam arms around Sharon's shoulder and sharon's head resting on his shoulder, facing the sea and seeing the moon's reflection in the water. It was a beautiful sight.
Before it became late Swayam dropped her home.
Sw: good night Sharon and he kissed on her cheek before her left.
Present
She was thinking about him when she felt his presence beside her. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize when Swayam came and sat beside her. She was shocked to see him.
Sh: Swayam??
He hugged her
Sw: im sorry Sharon
Sharon broke the hug.
Sh: I hate you Swayam, I hate you
And she started hitting him on his chest and Swayam tried to get a hold of her hands and finally Sharon gave up and he pulled her close to his chest and caressed her hair and kissed them.
Sharon broke the hug
Sh: go away Swayam, I'm not in the right frame of mind
Sw: so you need to talk to me
Sh: I don't think you have time for that
Sw: look baby it's not like that
Sh: like what Swayam? Do you realize it's almost been a month that we spent time together, spoke to each other.
Sw: I understand baby, but'
Sh: BUT WHAT???
Sharon couldn't take it anymore, all these days she tried to push these feelings deep down her heart but now she had to speak, she had to yell at him, she wanted to tell him what she felt.
Sh: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND' DO YOU HEAR ME; YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IM FEELING'
Swayam was too shocked at this sudden out burst but he expected this to happen sometime soon
Sh: you don't have time to spare for me, you dotn have time to meet me, you don't have time to answer my calls or reply to my messages. I've been going through so much in the past few days but you don't seem to know anything about it, when I wanted you by my side you were not there, I feel lonely Swayam but you are not there, I feel sad but you are not there to make me smile. I need you Swayam. When I feel happy and need someone to share my happiness, my excitement I think about you but YOU ARE NOT THERE DAMN IT.
You are not there, you are not'.
And she fell on her knees and sat on the ground.
Swayam ran immediately to her and wrapped his amrs around her.
When Sharon calmed down he broke the hug and kissed her forehead. He held he face in between his palms
Sw: im sorry baby, main itna busy hogaya ki main tumhe time hi nahi de paya'
Sh: main bhi busy hoti hoon Swayam, par main tumhare liye time nikalti hoon na? toh phir tum mujhe apna thoda sa waqt kyu nahi de sakte? Socho agar kabhi maine tumse baat karne se ya milne se mana kar diya kyonki main busy hoon kya tumhe bura nai lagega? Maine sirf ek ghante ke liye tumhara call answer nai kiya aur tum pareshaan hogaye' mere baare mein ek baar socho, din main ek baar mushkil se mera call answer karte ho' agar main kabhi tumhare saath aisa karu toh kya tum je paoge?
Her words felt like a slap on swayam's face and he was extremely guilty
Sw: im sorry jaan, main aisa kabhi nahi karunga, pehli aur aakhri baar mujhe maaf kar do
She looked at him with tears still flowing from her eyes.
She hugged him tightly.
Sh: I missed you Swayam, missed you more than anything else, I felt my life slip away
Sw: shhh past ke baare mein ab mat socho, I promise main aisa kabhi bhi nahi karunga, jitna bhi busy honga tumhare liye hamesha time nikalunga. I love you Sharon, aise kabhi bhi mat rona, tumhe rota hua dekh meri zindagi ki sabse bahi haar hogi, tumhare ankhon se ab ek aur ansoon bahar nahi ayega. I love you jaan, love you
Sh: I love you too Swayam.
They were still in each others embrace feeling each other. No matter how busy we are we need to make it a point to take out time for our loved ones because time once lost can never be back, a person once gone can never be back.
Kumkum Bhagya
Tu Dhadkan Main Dil
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