ArHi FF:Adaptation Note Page 35 - Page 16

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Kalyaani thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Now this Arnav I like, he agrees he is a jackass but not an idiot. A man with a sense of humour, I like it. It was so college like the teasing and in a way makes it so believable.
Khushi's pride was not surprising at all, daughters are like that.
-Mitra thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: RockBarbie


Note: Khushi and Payal discuss Elizabeth Gaskell's novel and it's characters mostly, North and South which I will be using as an instrument to derive conclusions. Hopefully the subtlety will not be too loud.


And I could not have asked for a better way to reminisce my reading of North & South. You have, perhaps, been too subtle that I fear much of the Adaptation is lost without recognition and so, here is what I have noted so far for everyone's benefit.

Its quite creative how you have provided a credible and indigenous backdrop for the economic tumbledown in Kushi's family - Payal's lavish wedding. While in the novel it was due to Mr.Hale's questioning of his religion and leaving the clergy. Again, you have made a faint mention of the similar wavering through Shashi's switch from priesthood to dabble in confectioneries.

Then we see the indulgent Edith in Payal's characterization. Kushi's grumbling over the dusty, noisy capital is in the same vicinity as Margaret's initial gripes after moving to Milton. Shyam, I presume, mirrors Mr. Henry Lennox and I see an imposing proposal on the cards for Kushi.

Mr. Shashi's sermon on astrology, parallels the discourses between Mr. Hale and Thornton. Well, it also comes close to the ones Mr. Hale has with Higgins, however given that we still don't have a Higgins in your story, its more fitting to attribute the comparison to that of the former than the latter pair.

The industrial theme around the male leads is impossible to miss.

I believe a worker's strike is imminent - but then you are the master weaver, so I will hold my silence until the subsequent chapters are out.

Great writing!

-H
Edited by Lahari. - 12 years ago
-Mitra thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
"He shook hands with Margaret. He knew it was the first time their hands had met, though she was perfectly unconscious of the fact." - Elizabeth Gaskell

Oh! Mr. John Thornton...you remind me of another quote from 'The English Patient'

"I believe this. When we meet those we fall in love with, there is an aspect of our spirit that is historian, a bit of a pedant who reminisces or remembers a meeting when the other has passed by innocently..but all parts of the body must be ready for the other, all atoms must jump in one direction for desire to occur."
Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient


Edited by Lahari. - 12 years ago
-DobByDoDgeR- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Awesome
But aman has a crush on khushi...???
Sur_10 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
When I started reading this story, I initially gave up because I know nothing about North and South and wasn't in a mood to read anything emotional at that moment. Now when I came back to it, I see it has expanded into other fields.
I really liked that astrology conversation and the details you have put in. The chaos theory part was especially interesting.
Coming on to the characters, I don't know if you have planned Shyam as a negative character or not and thus no conclusions there. However, his attitude is plain irritating. I am not surprised by the way Khushi's family reacted to her job. Somehow, the argument of having yourself pushed to the best limits isn't appreciated much. Is it mildly masochistic or people just like to assume that comfort should be chosen every time?
The way you have portrayed Khushi and Payal's relationship is interesting. Both of them are being in challenged by circumstances which brings out the worst of them at the worst possible moments, which is rather uncomfortable to read. Good job.
basicquestion1 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Luv u'r imagination.
Bookmarking. Will catch up soon.
vrindagupta thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
just read all the 7 chappters
must say loved the story
love the way khushi n payal discuss about the novel
is shyam too a snake in this story
loved how aman said that it seemed arnav has a crush
poor khushi no wonder she choked
RockBarbie thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Chapter VIII: Refraction

Khushi dragged her feet to her room and fell on the bed head first. It had been a long day and a tiring long week. She was itching for a hot shower but the task of actually going to bathroom exhausted her even more. She lifted her head when her phone rang and groaned loudly.

"Hello," she barked on the phone without looking at the name on display.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" A tentative voice breaks on the other end. Khushi rolled on her back and took a deep breath.

"Not at all Payal, how are you?" She felt a little tension leave her skin.

"It's one of those rare Friday evenings Khushi. I am at home and just lazing around." Payal didn't bring up the last conversation they had. "You sound tired."

"It was a long week. Arnav was in Tokyo dealing with an old client who came with an agenda of their own. It was supposed to be a simple meet, greet, and drink rice wine sort of meeting but the clients intentions sent the entire office into a tizzy. I was supposed to goof off during work Payal but ended up working crazy." She had cheered loudly when Arnav told her that he was flying that night.

Payal giggled. "Irritated much?"

Khushi groaned again. "Well, that's how things are at office Payal. Everything happens at last minute and we manage to meet deadlines five minutes before they are to expire." She replied snidely. Payal laughed.

"Are you working this weekend too?" She asked.

"Not if I can help it," Khushi quipped. "Arnav is flying back tonight and tomorrow evening they are performing some religious…stuff." Khushi flailed her hands.

"Ah, will papa conduct the ceremony?"

"I told him it was a bad idea to mingle with that family but he is quite taken into Arnav. Apparently Arnav is one of those young men who challenge archaic thought process with well-placed analytical reasoning." Khushi said in a mock deep baritone trying and failing to imitate her father.

"So you now agree with Shyam then," Payal hummed on the other end.

Khushi sighed. "I don't Payal…not in that way, at least." Khushi sat up and rubbed her temple. "Shyam doesn't necessarily explain why we shouldn't mingle with Raizadas."

"Is he still angry at you Khushi?" Payal's voice softened.

"No, he is not. He asks me about Arnav a lot and I guess I understand why Shyam would be angry at Arnav," Khushi replied.

"Oh? Why is it?" Khushi could hear Payal's perplexity in her question.

"He is a businessman Payal," she started and leaned back on bed on her back and exhaled loudly. "I think Shyam may have encountered people disgruntled with Arnav's mode of work. I think it's mostly a business thing but Shyam's strongly worded comments make me wonder if it's more personal."

"Maybe they have crossed paths before?" Payal pondered.

"It wouldn't be surprising. Shyam does work with few of the suppliers who are subcontracted by Raizada industries. It's stupid that Shyam would take this personally because Arnav doesn't make all these decisions personally – at least not all the time." Khushi mused.

"Is that so?" Payal asked. She

Khushi hummed in response. "It's not just Arnav's decision you know? He doesn't just do everything on his own like Shyam tends to think and make me believe. I have been working closely with Arnav for six weeks now and…it's not as simple as Shyam makes it to be."

"Shyam doesn't like you working there, does he?"

"He doesn't Payal. I don't know why he thinks I am in danger. "

Payal chuckled. "You are an idiot Khushi. Shyam likes you and he found a job for you which would keep you near him. But you screwed those plans."

Khushi let out a giggle easing the conversation even more. "Ma and papa like him a lot Payal." She said softly.

"What about you?" Payal asked.

Khushi didn't reply immediately. "He is a nice man Payal and I am sure he would make me happy…but I doubt I will be happy with him."

"Don't be hasty with your impression of him Khushi. Give it some time. Maybe you will end up liking him. Or maybe you don't. With time you should be able to resolve this conflict." Payal said. Khushi's lips stretched with each word. She had missed this side of her sister – the strong willful one which advised her when she was feeling conflicted. "How is it working with the handsome Arnav Raizada? I saw his interview on NDTV Profit and I must say he is quite dashing. My sister-in-law is jealous of your association with him." Payal giggled.

Khushi rolled her eyes. "He is a major pain in the ass when he isn't being a slave driving asshole." Khushi grumbled.

The sisters fell silent for moments before Khushi picked a new thread of conversation. "I always wondered why Margaret Hale would find Milton acceptable after living in fashionable London and slow and green countryside."

"Margaret didn't like Milton in the beginning. After a while, she saw beauty in smoke covered grey town and strength in men and women underneath soot covered faces. She isn't a girl like Edith, who would have definitely disliked Milton purely because of her personal preference. Margaret was…"

"…more adaptable?" Khushi asked softly.

Payal didn't respond immediately. When she did, her voice was barely above whisper. "She belonged in Milton because it was an allegory to her character itself – strong, forward thinking and unapologetically indifferent when it wants to be."

"You think so?" Khushi asked.

Payal chuckled nervously. "Hey, that's just a perception of an ex-English honors student."

"I have to go. Call me later." Khushi said hurriedly. Something in the way Payal had said about Margaret Hale had her sides in pin pricks. She hung up the phone and exhaled loudly.

Payal was wrong. Margaret felt a liking to Milton because of people in it. The industrious city made Margaret stand out like an oddball with her gentility and perception. Yet it was the only place which made her feel…alive. She didn't know if it was because of everything Milton represented or if it was because of that one man.

Khushi couldn't answer.

Kalyaani thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
😃
Edit
I am always surprised at the way you bring our the subtlety in a relationship. Payal has to play the role of elder daughter and sister in the is situation and she does that so well. It is never easy to deal with such things in life and you have brought that out really well. I am sure Khushi would listen to Payal and consider the suggestion, whether she acts on it or not is left to her entirely.
Arnav being discussed in this manner reminds me of my sister discussing her boss with me, she has nothing pleasant to say usually. It is these slice of life serving I enjoy most in this story.
Edited by Kalyaani - 12 years ago
crazy-ash thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
wow! u updated after a long, well, not exactly, but yeah...for me it was a long time!
i missed your stories! :)
and i liked that khushi was able to pick the probability of shyam being a little personally involved with arnav...
it was good to see payal advising khushi...i can understand how the girl might hav missed this side of her sister...

an at the end, she doubted whether it was the milton, or the presence of a single man...what does this refer to?

update soon

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