Some reflections on Samay and marriages

Hey all. I have referred to this in earlier posts but today i thought i would revisit the topic... i dont like the fact that almost every show (and this includes adhm) show marriages where at least one of the parties is being forced into the marriage or entering it unwillingly only out of some kind of majboori.

If you look at Hindi serials today, the best guarantee of never getting married to someone is to fall in love with them.... no pre-marital love story has a happy ending. At least, not immediately... though you may finally get to marry your true love by the time of your fourth marriage.

At the same time, the best gaurantee of falling in love with someone, according to our shows, is to marry them... you may hate someone, you may be afraid of that person... but once you marry them you will automatically discover things about them that justify what they have done... and you will definitely fall in love with them.

You know, i can understand that in arranged marriages people do not know each other but come to discover each other and the best things about each other and fall in love... i have no problem with arranged marriages per se if neither party is forced into it.

However, i do have a problem with the forced marriage syndrome -- i think it is very dangerous to show, in serial after serial, that its ok to be forced into a marriage.... that things will turn out all right.... that the worst of people will change. In india, so many women are forced into marriages that they do not want, courtesy familial and societal pressure... and somewhere i think these tv shows reinforce the idea that it is ok to not protest, that it is ok to give in to pressure because ultimately things will work out. For so many women in the real world, they dont.... to be fair, things do not work out for some women on television as well, but that is more to further the plot and increase the number of episodes than anything else.

To come back to adhm, Gaurav made us believe in Samay and we all rooted for him.... and Rusty's lectures got on everyone's nerves. What the situations of the show as well as the acting did was that it made it impossible for the audience to be alienated from Samay... i havent seen these episodes so my commentary comes from reading the updates on the forum... but i think what they did was that they showed this change of heart in Samay.... from wanting to be physically intimate with Rusty he shifted to wanting a relationship with her and then wanting marriage... the minute he wanted marriage instead of only a sexual relationship, he became acceptable to a majority of the audience.... the threat that he had represented so far was removed.... now he was the 'good guy' because he wanted what every good guy wants... marriage, kids, the works.

Now this shift in Samay was visible to the audience... but not to Rusty.... and so the audience immediately is on 'his side'... then they can find justification for everything he does... then they dont mind the thrill of his assertiveness, his possession, his aggression and his forcing her to marry him... because they already know that it will all turn out happy in the end, that his intentions are now 'right'... they know that now all that remains is for her to see the shift that they have already seen, so they sit back and enjoy the romance.

Thus what the show does is that it forces or manipulates you into certain attitudes... and makes other attitudes impossible. In real life, i would never root for someone who forced a girl into marrying him, no matter how noble at heart or how good looking, in real life all my sympathy would be with the girl.

Anyway, i'll leave the post here. And wait for reactions. 😊

Hey Shvetal, another mindteaser, here is my reaction dear:

Nobody would like the fact that somebody enters a commitment like marriage with some force or majboori. But TV serials are designed in such a way that they can reach to the masses, the normal Indian audience, so that the Indian Audience gets hooked to it somehow, either for the sympathy to the girl, or to enjoy extra marial affair or waiting to turn a forced marriage into a happy marriage, Its almost like getting some nerve of audience. SO this is the easiest subject, I guess.

.......hmmm, The only reason I like movies is that they end on a happy note, but serials , now since they have to go for years, so if hero heroine fall in love, get married, lead a routine life, who would like to watch it, This is a common story, get married and get into the routine of life. Now TV serials are quite far from reality , to keep them going for years, they have to be spicy. I think thats the reason they are not so simple.

Shvetal, now u have a point here. I agree in India, women get married not due to love but due to other reasons like social pressure, parental pressure or financial security or personal security. But my dear, this is hapening in India for so many years now, so many years now. And things are changing also for better atleast for the women who are educated and financially secure, who can make their own decisions, Somehow Parents are also learning to give this liberty to their daughters to live their life their own way. but this is not a story of every house. In most of the houses, still old institution is being followed and hence in the serials.And my dear, If I ask you a question , please answer honestly, forget aboutt he serials, Just a thought, why do you think success rate of Indian marriages is higher than in developed countries? Its been going on for years now, hence it is shown in serials with lots of twists and turns.

But my point here is, women who are not doing it or doing it, it has nothing to do what is shown in TV serials. If a woman is independednt, she won't bother. She will go by her own beliefs. TV serials will not reinforce the idea, but to the masses , this marriage concept is already very deep, and it will take many many years to become liberal and think of marriage in a different way . It may take another 1-2 generations .

Its about 6-7 years now, these serials have started. I hope at some point of time audience would like to see something more meaningful on TV, other than adultery, forced marriages etc, But it will take time and but still man woman relation will always be a hot subject onscreen, in movies and in serials.

If you speak about this serial, we all know what is the story. Samay's character had a major change, He proved that he married her not because of physical relations but he wanted an emotional bonding as well. And he proved it quite well and touched our hearts deep inside. Thats why we all wanted that Rusty also can notice this.

NOw it was like a fairy tale love story, nothing to do with reality.

Yes dear, this was serial and I saw it like a serial, enjoyed it, enjoyed the beauty, enjoyed the performance., remembered the good moments, cherish them , loved them , thats it. I don't bring them into real life.😃

Oh wow Shvetal and Teena what a wonderful analysis of Tv melodrama and reality. I agree Shvetal that most of the women in the subcontinent are forced into marraige for different reasons .Be it parents, society or the age factor.And at no point Shvetal can we even remotely compare Tv serial relationships to the real world. Reel and real life relationships are worlds apart. As you pointed out Samay wanted to have a physical relationship with Rusty but later fell in love with her and desired her affection and love. If at any point today anyone comes up to us and declares his lust for us our first reaction would be to deliver him a good tight slap that would send his head spinning and then a solid lecture quite similar to Rusty's lectures (I just have to admit this here no matter how much I hated them for Samay, poor chap!) 😕
But sometimes Shvetal it so happens that people change in love and for love . The ratio for this would be very less but still it does exist. I agree that most of the time marraiges are routine with kids, their education and in laws to deal with but what Sam and Rusty went through can or could happen in some part of the world. What really made me laugh aloud was the "shift " part. Visible to the audience but still not visible to the characters. 😆 I must admit the only reason we are glued to the screen biting nails and anxiously waiting for the girl to understand how good the guy has become. 😆
But yes at no point can anyone switch husbands as quickly as Kashish, stand for trial the upteenth time as boldly as Tulsi and have makeovers every 20 years as Prerna , mother and children all the same age. All this is too far fetched but what is real is the emotional current that underlies each character. And lastly I think that with the passage of time and the increase of educational knowledge nowadays majority of parents take their daughter's consent before marrying them off. 😊 And please dun kill me for this Shvetal but I LOVE SAMAY good or bad yaar. 😉 I just can't stop doing that. 😭

To be very honest ...Aisa Des Hai Mera was my first Hindi Serial and as all of you, I also ended up watching after seeing Gaurav chopraa ...Thanks to him I started taking little interest in other serials too but still do not follow religiously ....Slowly I am understanding the concept of Ekta Kapoor serials ...although it doesnt make any logic but people watches her serials blindly. Like I tried to watch Kasam se ,or Saath phere but couldn t follow , didnt enjoy so stopped it...There was one serial I use to enjoy watching was Thodi Khushi Thodi Gham, mainly it s a story of Gujarati family and it is pretty different but that I also stopped after Adhm axed. I would still think that Adhm was more realistic story. It s still existing Samay/Rusty s type of relationship....

I agree Shabnam such love/ hate relations do exist in the society. 😊 Who knows there may be a Samay for each of us. 😉

Originally posted by: blind horizon

I agree Shabnam such love/ hate relations do exist in the society. 😊 Who knows there may be a Samay for each of us. 😉

Yes definately for you gals ...somebody like Gaurav or Samay ...I am still saying and strongly believe that they are both same 😊... He is very down to earth person and seems to be very kind.... He ll be definately the bestest husband ....Muneeza ...keep thinking positive and pray ...you ll get somebody like him , Inshallah.

Originally posted by: gulrani

Yes definately for you gals ...somebody like Gaurav or Samay ...I am still saying and strongly believe that they are both same 😊... He is very down to earth person and seems to be very kind.... He ll be definately the bestest husband ....Muneeza ...keep thinking positive and pray ...you ll get somebody like him , Inshallah.

Inshallah dear I have full faith in your prayers.😊 I too agree whoever Gaurav's gonna marry will be the luckiest woman on the planet. He has that one quality I like the most , the charm to own someone both physically and mentally!

Originally posted by: blind horizon

I agree Shabnam such love/ hate relations do exist in the society. 😊 Who knows there may be a Samay for each of us. 😉

Samay for everyone................😆😆😆, come out of your dreams honey........, Samay ko to rusty le gai, ab kya hone wala hai hamara, hum to kahin ke nahin rahe.......................😆, Ek anaar aur sau beemar...............😆, that anaar is also very occupied.😉

Originally posted by: superbike

Samay for everyone................😆😆😆, come out of your dreams honey........, Samay ko to rusty le gai, ab kya hone wala hai hamara, hum to kahin ke nahin rahe.......................😆, Ek anaar aur sau beemar...............😆😆😆.😉

Ek anaar aur sau sau beemar ....kya khoob Teena tum bhi hamari jojo jaan ki aadharsh sikhli ho ..... Jojo where are you .....it s Monday but Teena is in mood of eating all the aanaar ...😆

Teena ... Please yaar mujhe baksh do ...Monday hay yaar kuchh dhimagh aapna thikane nahin upar se Aannar wali baat pata nahin kahan se tapki ? 😕 There is confusion hi confusion hay is forum mein aaj. 😉