This is my second scene on the edition of PnP which will star Disha and Big J! As requested by Big J I have taken the romantic Rain Scene. I have not seen this episode; whatever is presented is based on the TD clips. A big thanks goes out to Memsaab and Samy for their wonderful work on the forum.
Before writing the scene I wish to enlighten our readers about Big J. He's a guy who writes his posts in Hindi but knows zilch about shaeri or Hindi songs. He really has to make a tremendous effort to post for the antakshari. But he is improving! Incidentally, Big J is also called junior so if you see Jr written anywhere it refers to him.
As usual the scene has been improvised replete with film songs and my 2 cents worth compositions!
Recap:
In the previous scene our hero yaani ke Jr wrote a very filmy letter to Disha asking her to meet him at the Taj. This is how his letter read:
When I am your Kareeb there is only Khamoshi. I want to speak to you Dil Se that's my kind of Ishq.
I am Betaab to meet you and I want our date to be Gupt as I always have Darr that I will loose you Sajani and that would be a great Sadma for me. I am your Mr.Aashiq but sometimes a bit Deewana. Please tell me Hum Aapke Hain Kaun as I feel Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. How long it will last Na Tum Jano Na Hum. But always Hum Saath Saath Hai who knows Kal Ho Na Ho and always remember Main Hoon Na. This Duniya Dilwalon Ki Murder kar deti hai. Ever sinceI told you Maine Pyar Kiya, my Dil Tho Pagal Hai because Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai the whole world appears as Dushman. Anyway, Pyar Tho Hona Hi Tha but you must know Pyaar Koi Khel Nahi. If you want to become my Biwi No.1 then you must respond to this Pukaar. Please don't mind coz this is my Style I hope your answer is Yes Boss and if you say no, then I know life is Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. I dont know what will be my Anjaam. Please meet me at the Taj Mahal.
Rain Scene:
Disha is of course very happy to receive Jr's crazy love letter. She is waiting for Mr.Ashiq at the entrance of Taj in the pouring rain. Meanwhile, Big J is very busy watching an old episode of Bay Watch. He's so busy checking out the babes that he totally forgets his date with Disha. Suddenly he realizes that he had promised to meet his beau at the Taj. Hurriedly he gets dressed and zooms off in his car to the Taj.
Disha has been waiting for hours in the rain and was thinking "aane do us saale ko mazak chakathi hoon. Kya samjhthe hai apne aap ko. Mujhe yahan dupeher se kada kar woh pata nahin kahan ghayab hogaya hai. Aane tho do lafange ko" as she was thinking this, there was this sleezy chai wala who was trying act smart with her and makes a pass by singing :
"bholi si soorat aankhon men masti
dooor khadi sharmaye aye haye"
Disha is frothing mad she sings back:
"kaali si soorat hath mein ketli '
door khada chillaye chai chai" .
Right then Junior arrives. Seeing Disha standing in the rain holding an umbrella and the look on her face makes Jr realize he's in trouble. He thinks "O man, she's going to make pav bhaji out of me today. For her convenience there is even a hot tandoor nearby (referring to the rastey ka dabba) O man margaya! I must wreck my brains for a plausible excuse". Smiling he approaches Disha.
J: hoping ke Disha jhansi ki rani na ban jaaye! "Jaan I am very sorry der hogaya hai. Lekin tumhen intne der tak intezaar karne ki kya zarorat thi?
D: "its okay Jr. Tumne vaada kiya tha ke tum aaoge tho mein ghar kaise ja sakti hoon? Lekin itne der kyon laga di"?
BJ: To himself, ("if I tell her I was watching Yasmin Bleeth, Pamela Lee Anderson and rest of the sexy chicks I swear she'll pummel me to jelly") "woh kya hai na maa ko bahut din ke baad TV dekhne ki shauk thi. Aur TV pe koi dharmik film dikha rahe the. Tho unhone kahan ke uske saath baith ke film dekhne ke liye. Isiliye waqt ka pata nahin chala.
D: (Chuchundar ki aulad ghar pe us pagal ke saath baith ke film dekh rahe the aur mein yahan bheeg rahi thi) "koi baat nahi Big J ab tum aahi gaye ho yehi badi baat hai. Mein tumse milke bahut khush hoon".
BJ: (on hearing this big J is in seventh heaven wants to cheer her up. So he does a pirouette in the rain shouting) "Disha I love you, I am crazy about you, I am really crazy for you" (he's cursing "oh god I just took all the pains to gel and set my hair and it is all being washed away. I am going to look like a wet chicken! Inn ladkiyon ko mana ne ke liye kya kya naatak karna padtha hai")
Disha is quite thrilled, she runs and embraces him. Seeing Big J and Disha in an embrace, the cheesy chai wala gets excited and sings another song:
"kambakht ishq hai jo sara jahaan hai wo
kab aata hai, kab jata hai
par raheta hai jab tak wo kambakht jannat dikhaata hai"
Disha is mad she sings right back:
"kambakth chaiwala hai jo saala bhangi hai wo
jab bhi aata hai daat dikhaata hai
aur badle mein ek aadh chaata khaata hai"
(Our chivalrous Big J looses his cool. He shows some hero giri and does a dishum dishum with the chai wala. Result: pots and spoons fly in the air! Chai and the chai wala fly over the moon!)
BJ: "yeh chote log ki mooh kyon lag rahi ho Disha? Chalo doosri jahan jaake chai peethe hai"
(They walk to another tea stall hugging each other all the way)
BJ:"Ab mujhe tumse door nahin rahe jaata Disha"
D: "Jr, pahele bhi hum saath saath rahekar bhi door hi tho the. Pahele hum kitne jhagadthe the aur kitne ek doosre ko nafrat karthe the".
BJ:"Paheli ki baat aur hai Disha. Han hum jhagadthe zaroor the. Lekin ussi ki wajese hum aaj itne kareeb hai. Ab mein tumhare paas rahena chahta hoon. Pata hai meri haalat kya hogaya hai? I miss you. I want to be close to you and to be able to hold you in my arms". (Saying this he breaks into a song)
Big J:
"Kaate nahin kat the yeh day and night
kaheni thi jo tumse my hearts plight
Lo aaj I confess to you, I love you, I love you, I love you"
Disha sings back:
"Koi nahin hai bus tum ho saath
Kaheni thi tumse jo dil ki baat
Lo aaj mein kahethi hoon I love you, I love you, I love you"
D: (disha is getting very romantic) "Han Jr, you are right Yeh sulagta hua jism yeh kamp kapte hue honth yeh thartharata hua badan ye ladkadati hui aawaz ye lalee si bhari aankhen" (BJ is looking at disha with shock and amazement)
BJ: "Malaria test kyon nahi karate? These are all symptoms of malaria!"
D:(thinking yeh budhu tho ishq ki baasha bhi nahin samjhta) "Big J meine kitne romantic baat bol rhai hoon aur tum kitne unromantically malaria ki baat kar rahe ho? Tum bhi na. Kaam e kaam meri mood kharab kar rahi ho. Acha mujhe tumhen saaniya ke bare men kuch batana hai".
B: "Mujhe bhi tumhe Pori ke baare men kuch batana hai. Lekin humen itne dinon ke baad ek huwe hai un logonki baat kar ke waqt kyon barbad karen"? (disha too agrees and Jr puts his arms around disha lovingly and tries to kiss her)
D:(a little boy brings chai and stares at them) "ghoor ghoor ke kya dekh rahe ho? Jaao yahanse" (the boy smiles and leaves)
BJ: (Disha is humming a song Big J likes her voice) Hey you have a nice voice why don't you sing the song?
D (so she sings)
"Suraj Hua Madham
Chand bhi jalne laga,
Aasman yeh hai Kyon pighalne laga
Mein thehri rahi Zameen chalne lagi"
(BJ interrupts)
BJ: Zamin chalne lagi? honey that's an earthquake bhaag!
D: "uff oh Big J, tumhen mein kaise samjahon ke that's how the song is written. Tumhe romance ki kuch andaaza hai bhi ke nahin"?
BJ: "My darling Disha, yeh mera pahela pyar hai" (grinning)
D: (listening to this Disha melts) "how sweet. Tum bhi kuch pyarse meri tareef karo na"
BJ: "Mein aur shaeri? Na baba that's not my forte"
D: "Come on Big J meri tareef karo na. Bahut mann kar raha hai ke tumhari mooh se meri tareef sunoon"
BJ: (Big J is feeling awkward, at the same not wanting to hurt Dish's feelings he recites)
"I am lamp you are light,
I am Coke you are Sprite,
I am Sawan you are badal,
I am Normal you are Pagal,
I am Water you are Tanki,
I am Tarzan you are Monkey"
D: (is now very upset with tears in her eyes) "tum ne mujhe monkey kahan? This is not right Big J"
BJ: "I am sorry darling meine kahan na ke mujhe shaeri aata hai. I am really sorry. I will really try to recite another one but this time I promise you it will be better than last time".
"Mein Love Tumse,
Really Kasam Se
Ask Mere Heart Se
Each And Every Part Se
Inside Sapno Mein
Outside Saamne
You Hai You Hai
Only You Hai"
(Jr, is now sporting a sheepish grin coz Junior is not used to mouthing poetry)
D: (is beaming and gives Jr a kiss on his cheeks. Big J is so thrilled he tries to pull her closer and Dish sings a very sexy rain sequence number:
"jaane do na
(as you have seen when singing filmy gaana Jr's Hindi is atrocious):
"hey come closer na"
D: oh jaane do na
BJ: ai come closer na
D: "chuona chuona mujhe chuona chuona dekho chuona chuona chuona"
BJ: "aaona aaona closer aaona aaona dekho aaona aaona aaona"
BJ: "pyasey lips ki yeh story hai come closer tumhen sunani hai"
D: "yeh baate mein na kar paongi paas na aana mar jaongi chuona chuona mujhe chuona chuona mujhe chuona chuona chuona"
BJ: "kal mein maa ko sab kuch batanewale hoon ke asliyat kya hai"
D: "but Jr, dhyan se humari selfish reasons ki wajeh se unko koi sadma na pahunche"
BJ: "Tumhen meri maa ki itni fikar hai"?
D: "Kyon woh meri maa nahin hai kya"? (BJ is so taken up with this line that he tries to kiss her again!)
D: "Big J! Woh driver dekh raha hai".
BJ: "Oh my god pahele woh bacha dekh raha tha ab yeh driver dekh raha hia. Kal tum kahoge yeh ped dekh raha yeh taaren dekh rahen hai aur vo phool dekh rahi hai. (turns towards the trees and says) kya dekh rahe ho? mat dekho!"
D: (seeing him addressing the trees disha "hai ram! Lagta hai yeh bhi apni maa ki tarha fruitcake bante ja raha hai. Ab ped phoolon se bhi baaten karne laga hai)"chalo Big J raat bahut hogayi ab mujhe ghar jaana chahiye
BJ: "Yeah lets go hum kal milenge"
(the camera pans on the car that zooms off)
Next Week:
Woh kya hai na baap apun bhi thodi Guha's se seek re la hai. I want to see the response to this episode of PnP before making my next episode!
Any more requests? Please let me know. Bombi ne apunse ek aur request maangela re. Well my guess is as good as yours. She wants the bath robe scene! Bombz tho haath dhoke DK peeche pad gayi hai!
So watch out for more PnP!
Bollywood
