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Part 1 - The going away
Bha... she stammered... and corrected herself... Zoya... the cab is here...
She saw the room had regained its lifeless cleanliness once again. The bed was neatly tucked in. No soda cans or pizza pies lying anywhere...The memories of these past few months, had , as if locked themselves in the two suitcases Zoya had packed.
Najma still remembered every moment she had spent with Zoya. From the chewing gum that was stuck in her hair to the cricket match... she almost burst out into a girl laughter as she remembered how she was trying to hide from her bhaijaan under the couch... and then into tears as she remembered how Zoya had saved her mom during the fateful attack.
Najma looked at Zoya with a question in her eyes... As if she finally gathered the courage to ask what she wanted to: Zoya, is it important to leave Bhopal? I know you can't live in this house anymore, but why can't you just stay back in India... If you are here we can still meet, and may be see if we can change what Bhaijaan thinks about this matter...
Zoya did not know what to say. She just wiped her tears and gulped the pain down her throat.
Change what Najma?
How he thinks about Tanveer?
Or how he thinks about me?
Today, there is a Tanveer...
Tomorrow there will be someone else...
Or something else...
I can't continue to fight for Mr. Khan's trust all the time, Najma. I can't. I can fight a hundred Tanveers. I can fight my own fears. But I can't fight Mr. Khan anymore. He never lets me have the chance to be one with him.Its always him, and I. I wonder, if we can ever be US. The being of us requires Trust Najma...
The being of us requires Trust...
And she broke down...
Never before she had hugged Najma so powerfully and deeply... Najma didn't know what to say either.
She knew Zoya was right. Her Bhaijaan indeed had never trusted her... He may have loved her deeply, passionately madly. He may go crazy at the thought of living without her... But he had never fully understood her. He had never really let her in the walls of distrust. In wanting to not hurt her, he was doing just that. May be Zoya is right. May be he needs to live without her, to find out what it means to lose the one person who fought the world and themselves to live upto your trust. May be, he will learn the hard way...
Because, right now no one can make him understand...
No one can go tell him, that the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond, and that he must hold the hand of the woman he loves... more strongly that he has held anything ever... No one can tell him that in not trusting Zoya he is wrong...
What is she asking for after all? Blind trust? Perhaps not. She is just asking for a genuine hearing. One, where for once, just once, he sides with her thought process. Where for once, just once he gives her the benefit of doubt...
With those thoughts, Najma, let her go... and waved her, one teary good bye...
Part 2 - The car ride...to the airport
Zoya got into the car... Somewhere, deep down, she fondly remembered her previous trip to the airport... Through the shiny glint in her eyes, through those glass tears, she smiled... remembering the epic proposal they had. She knew, Asad loved her. Never, ever had she doubted that... Especially after he had confessed to her the day of the Nikah. Not that she needed the confession to happen anyway. She had many signs. Of his love. The wonderful gifts, the "I'll be there" caring attitude... the way he looked at her, the way he even accepted her with those scars... the way he cheated to keep her in India during the coin toss... all memories fleeted in her mind one by one as a testimony of his love...
Slowly she wiped her tears... She knew, she had to do this. She knew, deep down, perhaps this was the only way to win Asad's trust. She had trust on her love. She had trust on his love.
She knew, once Asad's anger will die down, he will sit and put the pieces together. As always, someone will have to lead him. Emotionally challenged jo hain, she said to herself. She knew, that the day he realizes and crosses the bridge from mistrust, to trust... he will be hers for ever... But until then, she had no choice, but to be away.
Let Tanu assume, that she did after all go back to New York for good.
All these thoughts, they were killing her from inside... She just hugged herself and kissed the scar of Asad's name on her hand from the mehdni...
Screeechhh... and the car came to a halt. Zoya, anxiously looked outside... Yes, Ayan was there. She looked around to see if anyone's was watching. Thank God, no one was. She nervously thanked Ayan for arranging a place to stay for her and helping her out in this mess.
Ayan, reassuringly patted her shoulder. As he clutched her shoulder with a big brotherly confidence, all he could say was Anything for Bhaijaan, and you, Bhabhijaan... Anything for you...
Part 3 - The anguish... of being betrayed!
Asad had never been so angry in months. After all, he had been busy falling in love. But today, he did not know what to do with this volcano that was brewing inside him. He finally brought out his punching bag, and began boxing. That was perhaps the only way to channelize his feelings.
The feelings of anger. The anger he felt at Zoya... when she uttered "Qubool Nahi Hai" and left the dias... Oh, Zoya he said, and closed his eyes as tears rolled down. The anger he felt at himself, for letting her go. The anger he felt at Tanu for being the reason, Zoya chose so. The anger he felt at himself, for chosing Tanu over Zoya.
The feelings of pain. The pain he felt as Zoya left him heart broken and called the wedding off. The pain he felt as his own confession of love remained buried in his heart and never found words... The pain he felt as he realized that Zoya never understood him. The pain he felt as he realized that Zoya, the woman he trusted, dumped him like that. What more did he expect? Hadn't she done that earlier? So what if she had a reason, he said to himself. She, had done it in the past, and she did it now.
Asad hated himself for loving a woman who his mind knew all along, was wrong for him.
Asad hated his heart for not listening to his mind.
As he opened his drawer to bring out that earring, he saw an envelope. To Mr. Khan, read the envelope. His hands trembled, first in anger, than in fear, and then in wistful anticipation, of what the envelope might contain... He began opening it...
"Asad" just then Dilshaad came to his room. Asad tried hard to wipe his tears, so that Dilshaad did not notice them.
Part 4 - Putting some sense
Ammi, Aap? Asad said.
I don't want to talk to you about anything. I don't see why you would have a reason to defend Ms. Farooqi now. She has brought disgrace to me, my family and my love.
Which love, Asad? Dilshaad roared like a lioness. Which love? The love that you never expressed? The love that was so devoid of trust that Zoya was forced to leave?
Ammi! Asad shouted... but then fell short of words.
Asad... I always thought that you were a very emotional person. I knew you feared falling in love. But, I did not know you are a coward , who does not deserve love...
Asad looked at his Ami in surprise.
Had I known, I would have never chosen Zoya as your would be bride. Main uski gunahgaar hoon Asad, Main uski gunaahgaar hoon. Us bechari ladki ko maine bahut dukh pahunchaya hai...
What are you saying Ammi, Asad asked...
I am saying the truth Asad. I always thought that you know how to tell the right from the wrong. That though you may not express it, you love Zoya. That though you seem to be emotionally challenged, you are not someone to hurt your loved ones. But I was wrong. The confidence I had on your love for Zoya is shattered today. When I saw you worried for her, or desperately trying to save her from going to New York, or secretly admiring her antics, I felt you had fallen for her. May be you had. But, Asad, you forgot to trust her. You forgot to evaluate your own feelings, and let her in the walls you have built around your heart. Why Asad, why?
Ammi, you know I have known Tanveer since childhood. How can I not trust her. I don't want to do what my father has done to you. Naye rishte kayam karne ke liye, main purane rishto ki bali nahi chadha sakta, Ammi... Nahi chadha sakta...
Dilshaad, was shocked to hear those words come from Asad's mouth. She began clapping her hands, and yelled, Wah Asad Wah! Mujhe samajh nahi aaraha hai ki main tumhari bevakoofi pe hansu ya aansoo bahaun. You did not want to be another Rashid Ahmed Khan... But look, you ended up being one, today. You proved that you are your father's son Asad. My upbringing, my values could not wipe out the fact that you are after all your father's son.
Those words, hit Asad in the gut like a bullet. His world came crashing. What is his Ammi saying, and why he thought...
Asad, I am tired of trying to show you the beauty of Zoya. I am tired of talking sense to you everytime and showing you what a wonderful person she is. I am tired of holding your hand and leading you to the love of your life, the person who would be the perfect daughter in law for this family - Zoya. And, today I am ashamed... also!
I wonder what makes you think that the importance of relationships is merely by their longevity. It is not who has known you the longest that loves you the most, but who has seen your worst and never left your side. Yes, you know Tanveer since your childhood, yes she is your best friend. But Asad, Miya Biwi ke beech mein, bachpan ke dost to kya, khud khuda bhi nahi aana chahiye... Zoya tumhara pyaar tha...
Tha nahi, tha nahi... Asad whispered...
Zoya tumhara pyaar hai Asad. Par, pyaar ka matlab sirf ek dusre ko dekhna nahi hota... Pyaar ka matlab ek saath, ek taraf, dekhna hota hai... Yes, you have reasons to believe Tanu. But, as a husband, isn't it your duty to trust your wife also? How many lies has Tanu told us, and this family? Do you even remember the count? From her divorce, to her factory, to her stone eye. But you forgave her. Just because you know her longer? But, Zoya - who stood by this family in thick and thin, even risked her life for just keeping us happy, was ridiculed for every small mistake of hers... what about her? Yes, wo bachkani hai... But, has she ever let you down, in anyway ? Has she ever, intentionally done anything to hurt you or hide something from you? Then, why, despite so many tests of her love and loyalty to you, she has to still prove herself to you... Just because you have only known her less than you have known Tanveer... And, because from some reason you feel that should have been the reason why Rashid should have been loyal to you, to Najma and me? Because he had known us longer?
Asad, ye zindagi hai, koi musical chairs ki game nahi, ki jo pehle aagaya wohi sabkuchh ho. Rishto ki ahmiyaat Zoya ne nahi, tumne nahi samjhi... Par ab to main tumhein kuchh samjhaana hi nahi chahti. Use kya samjhaun, jo samajhna hi nahi chahta?
Behtar hota , mein tumhara nikaah Tanveer se tai kar deti. Aakhir uske jaisi tehzeeb e yafta ladki tumhein kahan milte... Aur, waise bhi shadi ko mukammal karne ke liye pyaar se zyada zaruri hota hai bharosa. Aur bharosa to tumhein Tanu pe hi hai...
Asad gave a disgusted look at that thought and yelled, Ammi, bas kijiye.
Dilshaad left him alone. She knew that while she could make Asad realize his feelings by pestering she cant make him trust Zoya like that. That trust needs to come from within.
Part 5 - The scarlet letter
Dear Mr Khan,
Feels a bit strange to start the letter with a "Dear". Because, Allah only knows, when and how you became Dear to me. More than dear, I suppose.
I still remember, how much I disliked you in our first meeting. How I had wished never to want to see you again. And, I remember laughing at the irony of life, when I ended up in your house itself. Something about you drew me to you, despite the fact that we were so different. At first, I thought it was merely the chase, the challenge of impressing you. After all, you were the only one who was not touched by the Zoya Farooqi magic in the Khan household yet. How could that be?
So, I tried a hundred things to impress you, Jahapanah Six Packs !!! Yes, that's what I used to call you, if you did not realize. But as you say, wherever Zoya goes, problem follows... so perhaps, it was never going to be easy for me to impress you. The more I tried, the more I failed. The cake, the mobile phone disaster, the cricket match... everything.
Slowly, though, I began loving teasing you so. Pressing the wrong buttons as they say. I did not realize it then, but I loved being able to have that effect on you. Being able to disturb the calm, composed Asad. Aapki tanhaiyon mein khalal daalna achha lagta tha mujhe...
And, then I began seeing a totally different you. A caring, loving you. Even at Mangalpur, while you hated (or atleast showed) being around me, you tended to me with so much care... I almost wanted to melt in your arms right there... and I did.
Even I have lost count of how many times, I was hurt by your indifference. Nothing hurt me more, than knowing that I meant nothing to you. Or atleast thought so. Because you meant so much to me. When my bus had that accident, and I saw you running past me, hugging Tanu instead, a hundred bullets shattered my heart. When I saw you constantly reminding me how I was such a misfit for you, my heart bled like a river.
I dont know how you did it. Love me and hate me, both in one moment. The proposal at the airport made me feel on top of the world. And, the very next moment you crushed my hopes, by calling the engagement fake. All my tries to get a response from you, or a clarification failed. One minute I was so sure that everything was real, and the other minute I was doubting my own self.
You know Mr. Khan, nothing hurt me, more than feeling unwanted in your life those few days that led to our Nikah. I was convinced you would call it off, and break my already broken heart. I was not even hurt when you slapped me for no reason at the hospital, as much as I was hurt in knowing that I meant nothing to you. Zilch. I cried many nights asking myself why it hurt so much. Pondering, why without any mistake of mine, why you yelled at me, or chose to trust Tanu over me. Was I so kiddish, that even when I say that I saw something with my own eyes, you would not for once trust me?
Mr. Khan, you lost your father to another woman and you carry the guilt, the burden, the anger of it till date. But you still had Phuphi and loving Najma to care for you during your worst times. You had something to call home, and come back to. I was blessed to have Aapi and Jiju, but it hurt the most to be labeled Yateem. To be the one, who has no one to call her own. Har khushi, har rishta udhar ka sa lagta tha...
Although you feel I can never value relationships, you will never realized what you, or any relationship has meant for me. Of how much I loved the bitter coffee you made me, or the blueberry cheesecake you got me... Or of how light my heart felt, as it unburdened its baggage of years when I confided in you about my Abu... For the first time, there was a relationship I wanted to call my own. This relationship, this family, meant everything to me, Mr. Khan.
Everything.
But you never saw it. And, never let me show it.
You never let me tell you How Much I love you Mr. Khan...
Surprised? Don't be. Yes, Mr. Khan I love you. I love you for being there for me everytime I have been in trouble. For being my support system, my fall back option. My knight in shining armor. The sharer of my pain. The one to wipe my tears... The one to erase my fears... I love you. I have loved you. Even before I realized it myself, but I have... Even before I knew what love was, I have...
I know by the time you read this letter, I will be far far away from you, physically. Perhaps already in New York. But, my heart will always carry a part of you and the moments I spent with you, along, in it. My heart will always love you.
Mr. Khan, I did not call of our wedding because I was scared to be with you, or because all this was fake for me. I did not run away from the Nikaah because I dont value relationships.
I ran away, because all this is so real for me, so real... Like nothing ever has before. And, to see something so real, so close to my heart, lose like this to an outsider... and die such a slow death at the hands of mistrust... no Mr. Khan, I dont have the courage. After losing Ammi and Abbu, I dont have the courage to lose the only man I love, or will ever love, you...
I don't want to prove anyting Mr. Khan. You may be right, Tanveer is right. I am wrong. May be I misunderstood everything... you, her... everything. But, how do you suppose we can build a life together, if we are not a team? How do you suppose, I can feel secure, in the arms of a man, who does not trust me, an ounce?
I can't see the throes of mistrust slowly killing the love we have for each other...
And, that is why Mr. Khan, I am going back to New York.
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved... And, in that sense Mr. Khan, in the challenge that Tanveer threw at me, she won. And, I ... Lost...
I wish I was worthy of your trust, Mr. Khan. I wish, just once, once, you looked beyond my exterior, and trusted the woman inside... I wish, that just once, you realized the power of my love... your love... our love...
Yours,
Zoya
Part 6 - Doubting oneself
Asad's world came crashing down. He wept like a baby. He didn't understand, if he felt worse when he almost lost Zoya in Mangalpur or now... May be now, because the thought that she was his, until this moment, just his... made the feeling of pain worse.
He questioned himself. was his Ammi right? Had he not understood the true meaning of love? Had he not trusted Zoya, ever?
How can that be, he asked himself. He shook himself, wiped his tears... and lied to himself...Bull shit... ofcourse, I trust Ms. Farooqi.Ofcourse, I do. Has she even noticed, how much I changed for her... Did she realize, how school boyish I felt waiting for her to return with that iPad in my hand... or, how hurt I was with her relevation of being an orphan, or how moved that she chose me... me, to share her deepest fears... No she didn't. Did she hear my heart racing fast, when she held my arm the other day when I went to call her for dinner? Or the butterflies in my stomach when I saw her in that beautiful black saree... She probably was too drunk to notice how mesmerized I was with her childish antics that night... or how I almost had to shake myself out of the stupor of her beauty and stop myself from kissing her that night...
She has never noticed anything... then how will she notice the little changes I made in my behavior for her, for us. There was a reason, I gave her that sleeveless suit, right? There was a reason, why despite my own hopes of her impressing Imaam saab, I was ready to explain and stand by her... After all, slowly but slowly I was realizing her beauty as a person. She was making me aware of how despite being different, we could be together... Yes, she is chirpy, bubbly, immature... but then she is the one who brought sunshine into our dull house... She was right, I was a robot before she arrived. Her mess,her loud voice, her laughter... filled the Khan mansion with some unknown, unbehest music... She brought smiles to our face... Ammi's face, Najma's face... She was the one who made me realize that in my own way I was causing Najma to live in fear... She was the one who made me realize that with all my flaws, I was still complete in her eyes... and she could depend on me... She was the one... She taught me how to live... Even after going through so much in life herself, wo zindagi se naraz nahi hui... khud ki zindagi mein aur dusro ki zindagi mein bas khushiyaan bikherti rahi... She taught me to come out of my shell, and breathe... Oh Zoya...My Zoya...
Then why does everyone feel that I did not trust her. Isn't trusting someone, taking what they say into account and changing your opinion over time? "kisi ko kitna lamba jaante ho ye zaroori nahi hai, kisiko kitna jaante ho ye zaroor hai..." Dilshaad's words hammered his brain and gave him a headache... Was he wrong in expecting Zoya not to mistrust Tanu his childhood friend... Couldn't Zoya see, that those few people in his life - Ammi, Najma, Ayaan, Tanu, meant a lot to him, because that is all he had since he remembers. Unlike, Rashid, these were the pillars of support, and hope, that he had held on to since time immemorial. Then, why does everyone think that he was wrong in asking Zoya to atleast see things from his POV...
He did not find any answers... His brain was hurting as much as his heart now... When he loved Zoya so much, how could he be wrong... He did not know
Then, he picked up his cell phone... and once more smiling at the cell phone incident from the past, he dialled Zoya's number... He wanted to talk to her... But, what will she say? Will she even pick up? Fear made him disconnect the call. He ended up calling Ayaan instead.
Yes Bhaijaan...
Ayaan, I want to meet you.
Is everything okay Bhaijaan/
Yes, Ayaan. I just... Woh Actually... I just want to see you. When can you meet me?
Tomorrow morning at our usual place Bhaijaan?
Okay see you.
Asad heaved a sigh of relief. He felt as for the first time ever, as if he will be able to unburden his stress and have a heart to heart with Ayaan.
He tried to sleep that night, but couldn't. Thoughts of Zoya engulfed him. Her musical voice, her illogical shers... Her mesmerizing eyes... Oh Zoya, Oh zoya, he pined...
He got up. Went to the Kitchen... and made himself a cup of coffee. With milk and sugar... and decided to spend the night, outside in the backyard. The stars reminded him of the meteor shower night, and he smiled once more as he remembered how Zoya wished herself upon him... and vice versa... He never believed in these things.. but, he looked up and said "Ya Khuda Aaj bhi ek tara tod do... mujhe bhi mangni hai ek dua...Meri dua... Meri Zoya"
Part 7 - The seeds of doubt
Jammy...
Tanu called Asad from behind.
Asad's serene thoughts came to a screeching halt.
He did not want to be disturbed by anyone at this time, but has Tanu ever given him space? He felt it was better to let her finish talking what she had to say, than to protest and ask for some alone time.
She cunningly came next to him, and began showing sympathy. "Jammy"...Please don't call me Jammy, Tanveer. I have told you many times already... Please don't call me Jammy.
As she continued her rant, Asad slowly stood up.Something about Tanu's proximity was bothering him now, specially after what Dilshaad said to him.
I know you are hurt and angry at this time...Zoya left you, at the opportune time of your Nikah, because of your trust on me. I feel very sorry Jammy. I am sorry that Zoya never understood you, or your friendship with me. I don't know why she always felt I was after her. I always had her and your best interest in mind... even though, I knew all along she was not the right one for you...Aapko to koi aisi ladki chahiye, jo aapke dard ko, aapki tehzeeb ko samjhe... jo aapko lambe arse se janti ho..."
Before she could say anything further, Asad gave her a strong look of disapproval. But he still kept quite.
He could not take it any longer though, so he told her to leave him alone.
Tanu thought she has hit the bulls eye. She quitely left, in the false confidence of her victory.
Asad, questioned himself one more time. Something about Tanu's sympathy seemed so fake and superficial. He tried to recollect every incident since Tanu moved in the house and analyzed if anything made sense, or gave a clue.
It's not that he had not doubted Tanveer. He knew she was upto something. After all her lies - about the stone eye, the divorce, and her fear of the doctors, her pregnancy - came out, he had begun to question her intentions. But, somehow, he could not convince himself to believe that she was cunning and manipulative. Yes, she was definitely hiding something... He knew Zoya was not wrong in suspecting that... But, still, how could he believe what Zoya told him, just a few hours before his Nikaah... that Tanveer wanted to separate them, and marry him? How disgusting is the thought... He remembered, his last few words with Zoya once again...
"Zoya" he had yelled...
Zoya, was shocked to see his hand raised once again...It stopped half way mid air, before hell could break loose once again...
But he pulled back. "Zoya, main wo galati nahi dohrana chahta, jo main ek baar pehle kar chuka hoon. Us galati ke liye, main apne aap ko aajtak maaf nahi kar paya...Par, aap Tanu aur mere baare mein itna ghatiya kaise soch sakti hain..."
"Mr Khan, but ..."
He knew he had hurt Zoya by raising his hand once for no fault of hers. He knew Zoya had forgiven him for it, because she realized that in that moment of agony, and the fear of losing Dilshaad, he could not vent his own feelings with words... But he had never been able to forgive himself. Not for the slap, nor for the hurtful words he had said to her after that. Had he known how much Zoya had suffered in life at that time, he would have never said that to her. How wrong he was in saying Zoya never valued relationships... No one valued them as much as Zoya did... Because, she had lost it all once, in life... At a very young age. It was wonderful to see that she was still not bitter about life, and always found a way to laugh. She brought sunshine to everyone's life... Like a fairy... she was always spreading Zoya... And, now that he finally understood her, he almost committed the sin again? He said to himself... "Ya Khuda! What have I done". He was glad that he had stopped before he commited the sin again, but he knew, just seeing his hand half raised, Zoya was hurt. Very hurt.
He almost crushed the cup of coffee his hand in anger. It began bleeding like his heart...
A question now got stuck in his mind like a broken record player... Why did Zoya accuse Tanveer of such a disgusting blame? Can Tanveer really stoop so low?
Part 9: Joining the dots...
Ayaan realized that more than Asad not trusting Zoya, the issue was that Zoya and Asad did not trust their love, their relationship. May be because their own realization of it was so slow... May be because there was someone always there to cloud their judgement. May be because both of them were emotionally challenged...
He wanted to just run out and tell Zoya that her Mr. Khan after all did trust her. He did try to find out Tanveer's reality. But, she perhaps outsmarted him too. But, he couldn't do that, just like that. He also wanted to tell Asad that Zoya hadn't gone back to New York, but was staying in Bhopal itself to unmask this caty woman called Tanveer. But, he had learnt, from his own life and the ploys Razia had been setting for him all this while, that Tanveer was too smart for all this. So, he kept his cool.
He slowly took out a letter. He hugged his brother and gently handed this to him. And whispered, Bhaijaan, read this in the car. As soon as you get in the car. Not a moment before.Not a moment later.
And, then said out loud... Bhaijaan, what can you do now? What is lost is lost... Zoya has left forever. I think you should rethink about your life and start it fresh. Perhaps find someone who was more suited to your lifestyle... It hurts, Bhaijaan, but that is the truth. He said it with a quirkiness, that Asadi instantly recognized. Asad's heart knew immediately that Ayaan was up to something. But he kept his anxiety and excitement to himself, and quickly slid the note into the pocket of his jacket.
***
Tanveer, who was listening to this conversation from a hiding place,smiled in glee. She was happy that Ayaan did the exact opposite of what she was fearing. Ayaan did not encourage Asad to set things right and bring back Zoya or give her a chance to explain. Phew, she exclaimed!
As she walked back out of the place, she had flashbacks and thanked her stars that she overheard Asad calling Ayaan and wanting to meet him. She was glad she followed him to here. She was confident that the thorn called Zoya is now possibly out of her life, and as long as she sympathesizes with Asad, he will eventually be hers. After all she does not even have to hide her pregnancy from him anymore, so chances are that he will marry her, just to give her a respectable life, and her baby a name. She said to herself, "I can't believe how lucky can I get all the time. The other day I overheard Asad talking to Ayaan about finding out about my factory by sending someone there and meeting my doctor... and today I overheard him wanting to meet him... I am condident that even Khuda is with me... Ya Allah! I am going to be Mrs. Asad Ahmed Khan soon... Playing the sympathy card is now going to be my trump card..." She strutted away in her over confidence.
Ayaan saw her shadow fade through the godown.He was happy his trick was successful. Now was the time to rush to Zoya and tell her about it all... He couldn't control himself... Bhabhijaan! He whispered, as he wiped his tears... of joy!
***
Asad reached his car. Nervously, brought out the letter. As he was looking for it, something felt his fingers. Zoya's earring which was also there... Yes, that earring it was. He looked at it fondly and smiled. A tear fell off from his eye ... he felt it on the back of his arm. It brought him back from the world of wonderful memories to the reality - the letter... And, then, began reading the letter.
"Bhaijaan, I am writing a letter to you, because I am pretty sure someone was listening to us talk. I don't want to name who this someone is right now, because I don't have enough proofs against her, but I am sure you are smart enough to figure it out. I won't say that you trust what Zoya Bhabhi said about Tanveer. I won't even ask you not to trust your childhood friend. All I will say is that do not trust anyone but your blood and your love at this time, and put every other person in the circle of doubt - shaque ka dayra. Just be careful, what you share with, and where you share with about Zoya,Tanveer and anything else important to your life. I wanted to make sure that our next meeting is a complete secret... Because I have a surprise for you. Your surprise will wait for you with me, at 7:00 AM sharp at the Dargah. Make sure you tear this letter and discard it on your way to home, so that no one else knows about this. If after this meeting, you still feel you should trust Tanu, and Zoya Bhabhi should understand your POV, I promise you that I will make her understand, and bring her back... "
Asad's joys knew know bound. His heart raced faster as he read the last line ten times... "make her understand and bring her back...". He was glad that Ayaan was ready to help him, and explain his POV to Zoya. He was happy that he could finally tell Zoya that he never mistrusted her... it's just that he had no reason to mistrust Tanveer until now. He swiftly tore the letter. To as many little bits of pieces as he could... and let them fly out the window as he raced back home...
And, then he pondered over the warning in the letter. He remmebered how Tanveer was trying to sympathesize with him last night... Suddenly, all of Tanu's touches so far began disgusting him. He remembered, how he had teased Zoya about being jealous, and smiled. But, was he right in doing all this? Why couldn't he understand that no matter how much his friend wanted his support, if the love of his life was uncomfortable with their proximity he could have distanced himself from her.If not emotionally, or as a friend, atleast physically. He swore never to let Tanveer cross the line of friendship anymore. Not even for sympathy. After all, ab main kisi aur ka shohar hoon, he said with a proud smile on his face. Nikaah ki rasmein nahi hui to kya hua, Main Zoya ka hoon, aur Zoya ka hi rahunga...
Asad could not sleep again, that night. The thoughts of what Ayaan said, kept playing in his mind... Tanveer brought him some black coffee, and began her charade of sympathy again.
Zoya knocked Tanveer's door in the morning. Tanveer it's time to go she said, as she gave Asad an I know it all look. Asad was, worried, anxious. A part of him wanted to believe Zoya. After all many unexplained incidents had happened in the house, ever since Tanu had been around - the kidnapping, the attacks, that live wire in Zoya's bathroom... And, a part of him wanted her to be wrong. How could Tanveer stoop so low? Could she, he asked... as he bit his nails anxiously. Tanveer opened the door, and gave a look of disgust to Zoya and followed it up with a smirk. As they climbed down the stairs, Tanveer played her card. She pretended an ankle sprain. Allah Miya... she yelled... leaving everyone stunned.
Bha... she stammered... and corrected herself... Zoya... the cab is here...
She saw the room had regained its lifeless cleanliness once again. The bed was neatly tucked in. No soda cans or pizza pies lying anywhere...The memories of these past few months, had , as if locked themselves in the two suitcases Zoya had packed.
Najma still remembered every moment she had spent with Zoya. From the chewing gum that was stuck in her hair to the cricket match... she almost burst out into a girl laughter as she remembered how she was trying to hide from her bhaijaan under the couch... and then into tears as she remembered how Zoya had saved her mom during the fateful attack.
Najma looked at Zoya with a question in her eyes... As if she finally gathered the courage to ask what she wanted to: Zoya, is it important to leave Bhopal? I know you can't live in this house anymore, but why can't you just stay back in India... If you are here we can still meet, and may be see if we can change what Bhaijaan thinks about this matter...
Zoya did not know what to say. She just wiped her tears and gulped the pain down her throat.
Change what Najma?
How he thinks about Tanveer?
Or how he thinks about me?
Today, there is a Tanveer...
Tomorrow there will be someone else...
Or something else...
I can't continue to fight for Mr. Khan's trust all the time, Najma. I can't. I can fight a hundred Tanveers. I can fight my own fears. But I can't fight Mr. Khan anymore. He never lets me have the chance to be one with him.Its always him, and I. I wonder, if we can ever be US. The being of us requires Trust Najma...
The being of us requires Trust...
And she broke down...
Never before she had hugged Najma so powerfully and deeply... Najma didn't know what to say either.
She knew Zoya was right. Her Bhaijaan indeed had never trusted her... He may have loved her deeply, passionately madly. He may go crazy at the thought of living without her... But he had never fully understood her. He had never really let her in the walls of distrust. In wanting to not hurt her, he was doing just that. May be Zoya is right. May be he needs to live without her, to find out what it means to lose the one person who fought the world and themselves to live upto your trust. May be, he will learn the hard way...
Because, right now no one can make him understand...
No one can go tell him, that the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond, and that he must hold the hand of the woman he loves... more strongly that he has held anything ever... No one can tell him that in not trusting Zoya he is wrong...
What is she asking for after all? Blind trust? Perhaps not. She is just asking for a genuine hearing. One, where for once, just once, he sides with her thought process. Where for once, just once he gives her the benefit of doubt...
With those thoughts, Najma, let her go... and waved her, one teary good bye...
Part 2 - The car ride...to the airport
Zoya got into the car... Somewhere, deep down, she fondly remembered her previous trip to the airport... Through the shiny glint in her eyes, through those glass tears, she smiled... remembering the epic proposal they had. She knew, Asad loved her. Never, ever had she doubted that... Especially after he had confessed to her the day of the Nikah. Not that she needed the confession to happen anyway. She had many signs. Of his love. The wonderful gifts, the "I'll be there" caring attitude... the way he looked at her, the way he even accepted her with those scars... the way he cheated to keep her in India during the coin toss... all memories fleeted in her mind one by one as a testimony of his love...
Slowly she wiped her tears... She knew, she had to do this. She knew, deep down, perhaps this was the only way to win Asad's trust. She had trust on her love. She had trust on his love.
She knew, once Asad's anger will die down, he will sit and put the pieces together. As always, someone will have to lead him. Emotionally challenged jo hain, she said to herself. She knew, that the day he realizes and crosses the bridge from mistrust, to trust... he will be hers for ever... But until then, she had no choice, but to be away.
Let Tanu assume, that she did after all go back to New York for good.
All these thoughts, they were killing her from inside... She just hugged herself and kissed the scar of Asad's name on her hand from the mehdni...
Screeechhh... and the car came to a halt. Zoya, anxiously looked outside... Yes, Ayan was there. She looked around to see if anyone's was watching. Thank God, no one was. She nervously thanked Ayan for arranging a place to stay for her and helping her out in this mess.
Ayan, reassuringly patted her shoulder. As he clutched her shoulder with a big brotherly confidence, all he could say was Anything for Bhaijaan, and you, Bhabhijaan... Anything for you...
Part 3 - The anguish... of being betrayed!
Asad had never been so angry in months. After all, he had been busy falling in love. But today, he did not know what to do with this volcano that was brewing inside him. He finally brought out his punching bag, and began boxing. That was perhaps the only way to channelize his feelings.
The feelings of anger. The anger he felt at Zoya... when she uttered "Qubool Nahi Hai" and left the dias... Oh, Zoya he said, and closed his eyes as tears rolled down. The anger he felt at himself, for letting her go. The anger he felt at Tanu for being the reason, Zoya chose so. The anger he felt at himself, for chosing Tanu over Zoya.
The feelings of pain. The pain he felt as Zoya left him heart broken and called the wedding off. The pain he felt as his own confession of love remained buried in his heart and never found words... The pain he felt as he realized that Zoya never understood him. The pain he felt as he realized that Zoya, the woman he trusted, dumped him like that. What more did he expect? Hadn't she done that earlier? So what if she had a reason, he said to himself. She, had done it in the past, and she did it now.
Asad hated himself for loving a woman who his mind knew all along, was wrong for him.
Asad hated his heart for not listening to his mind.
As he opened his drawer to bring out that earring, he saw an envelope. To Mr. Khan, read the envelope. His hands trembled, first in anger, than in fear, and then in wistful anticipation, of what the envelope might contain... He began opening it...
"Asad" just then Dilshaad came to his room. Asad tried hard to wipe his tears, so that Dilshaad did not notice them.
Part 4 - Putting some sense
Ammi, Aap? Asad said.
I don't want to talk to you about anything. I don't see why you would have a reason to defend Ms. Farooqi now. She has brought disgrace to me, my family and my love.
Which love, Asad? Dilshaad roared like a lioness. Which love? The love that you never expressed? The love that was so devoid of trust that Zoya was forced to leave?
Ammi! Asad shouted... but then fell short of words.
Asad... I always thought that you were a very emotional person. I knew you feared falling in love. But, I did not know you are a coward , who does not deserve love...
Asad looked at his Ami in surprise.
Had I known, I would have never chosen Zoya as your would be bride. Main uski gunahgaar hoon Asad, Main uski gunaahgaar hoon. Us bechari ladki ko maine bahut dukh pahunchaya hai...
What are you saying Ammi, Asad asked...
I am saying the truth Asad. I always thought that you know how to tell the right from the wrong. That though you may not express it, you love Zoya. That though you seem to be emotionally challenged, you are not someone to hurt your loved ones. But I was wrong. The confidence I had on your love for Zoya is shattered today. When I saw you worried for her, or desperately trying to save her from going to New York, or secretly admiring her antics, I felt you had fallen for her. May be you had. But, Asad, you forgot to trust her. You forgot to evaluate your own feelings, and let her in the walls you have built around your heart. Why Asad, why?
Ammi, you know I have known Tanveer since childhood. How can I not trust her. I don't want to do what my father has done to you. Naye rishte kayam karne ke liye, main purane rishto ki bali nahi chadha sakta, Ammi... Nahi chadha sakta...
Dilshaad, was shocked to hear those words come from Asad's mouth. She began clapping her hands, and yelled, Wah Asad Wah! Mujhe samajh nahi aaraha hai ki main tumhari bevakoofi pe hansu ya aansoo bahaun. You did not want to be another Rashid Ahmed Khan... But look, you ended up being one, today. You proved that you are your father's son Asad. My upbringing, my values could not wipe out the fact that you are after all your father's son.
Those words, hit Asad in the gut like a bullet. His world came crashing. What is his Ammi saying, and why he thought...
Asad, I am tired of trying to show you the beauty of Zoya. I am tired of talking sense to you everytime and showing you what a wonderful person she is. I am tired of holding your hand and leading you to the love of your life, the person who would be the perfect daughter in law for this family - Zoya. And, today I am ashamed... also!
I wonder what makes you think that the importance of relationships is merely by their longevity. It is not who has known you the longest that loves you the most, but who has seen your worst and never left your side. Yes, you know Tanveer since your childhood, yes she is your best friend. But Asad, Miya Biwi ke beech mein, bachpan ke dost to kya, khud khuda bhi nahi aana chahiye... Zoya tumhara pyaar tha...
Tha nahi, tha nahi... Asad whispered...
Zoya tumhara pyaar hai Asad. Par, pyaar ka matlab sirf ek dusre ko dekhna nahi hota... Pyaar ka matlab ek saath, ek taraf, dekhna hota hai... Yes, you have reasons to believe Tanu. But, as a husband, isn't it your duty to trust your wife also? How many lies has Tanu told us, and this family? Do you even remember the count? From her divorce, to her factory, to her stone eye. But you forgave her. Just because you know her longer? But, Zoya - who stood by this family in thick and thin, even risked her life for just keeping us happy, was ridiculed for every small mistake of hers... what about her? Yes, wo bachkani hai... But, has she ever let you down, in anyway ? Has she ever, intentionally done anything to hurt you or hide something from you? Then, why, despite so many tests of her love and loyalty to you, she has to still prove herself to you... Just because you have only known her less than you have known Tanveer... And, because from some reason you feel that should have been the reason why Rashid should have been loyal to you, to Najma and me? Because he had known us longer?
Asad, ye zindagi hai, koi musical chairs ki game nahi, ki jo pehle aagaya wohi sabkuchh ho. Rishto ki ahmiyaat Zoya ne nahi, tumne nahi samjhi... Par ab to main tumhein kuchh samjhaana hi nahi chahti. Use kya samjhaun, jo samajhna hi nahi chahta?
Behtar hota , mein tumhara nikaah Tanveer se tai kar deti. Aakhir uske jaisi tehzeeb e yafta ladki tumhein kahan milte... Aur, waise bhi shadi ko mukammal karne ke liye pyaar se zyada zaruri hota hai bharosa. Aur bharosa to tumhein Tanu pe hi hai...
Asad gave a disgusted look at that thought and yelled, Ammi, bas kijiye.
Dilshaad left him alone. She knew that while she could make Asad realize his feelings by pestering she cant make him trust Zoya like that. That trust needs to come from within.
Part 5 - The scarlet letter
Dear Mr Khan,
Feels a bit strange to start the letter with a "Dear". Because, Allah only knows, when and how you became Dear to me. More than dear, I suppose.
I still remember, how much I disliked you in our first meeting. How I had wished never to want to see you again. And, I remember laughing at the irony of life, when I ended up in your house itself. Something about you drew me to you, despite the fact that we were so different. At first, I thought it was merely the chase, the challenge of impressing you. After all, you were the only one who was not touched by the Zoya Farooqi magic in the Khan household yet. How could that be?
So, I tried a hundred things to impress you, Jahapanah Six Packs !!! Yes, that's what I used to call you, if you did not realize. But as you say, wherever Zoya goes, problem follows... so perhaps, it was never going to be easy for me to impress you. The more I tried, the more I failed. The cake, the mobile phone disaster, the cricket match... everything.
Slowly, though, I began loving teasing you so. Pressing the wrong buttons as they say. I did not realize it then, but I loved being able to have that effect on you. Being able to disturb the calm, composed Asad. Aapki tanhaiyon mein khalal daalna achha lagta tha mujhe...
And, then I began seeing a totally different you. A caring, loving you. Even at Mangalpur, while you hated (or atleast showed) being around me, you tended to me with so much care... I almost wanted to melt in your arms right there... and I did.
Even I have lost count of how many times, I was hurt by your indifference. Nothing hurt me more, than knowing that I meant nothing to you. Or atleast thought so. Because you meant so much to me. When my bus had that accident, and I saw you running past me, hugging Tanu instead, a hundred bullets shattered my heart. When I saw you constantly reminding me how I was such a misfit for you, my heart bled like a river.
I dont know how you did it. Love me and hate me, both in one moment. The proposal at the airport made me feel on top of the world. And, the very next moment you crushed my hopes, by calling the engagement fake. All my tries to get a response from you, or a clarification failed. One minute I was so sure that everything was real, and the other minute I was doubting my own self.
You know Mr. Khan, nothing hurt me, more than feeling unwanted in your life those few days that led to our Nikah. I was convinced you would call it off, and break my already broken heart. I was not even hurt when you slapped me for no reason at the hospital, as much as I was hurt in knowing that I meant nothing to you. Zilch. I cried many nights asking myself why it hurt so much. Pondering, why without any mistake of mine, why you yelled at me, or chose to trust Tanu over me. Was I so kiddish, that even when I say that I saw something with my own eyes, you would not for once trust me?
Mr. Khan, you lost your father to another woman and you carry the guilt, the burden, the anger of it till date. But you still had Phuphi and loving Najma to care for you during your worst times. You had something to call home, and come back to. I was blessed to have Aapi and Jiju, but it hurt the most to be labeled Yateem. To be the one, who has no one to call her own. Har khushi, har rishta udhar ka sa lagta tha...
Although you feel I can never value relationships, you will never realized what you, or any relationship has meant for me. Of how much I loved the bitter coffee you made me, or the blueberry cheesecake you got me... Or of how light my heart felt, as it unburdened its baggage of years when I confided in you about my Abu... For the first time, there was a relationship I wanted to call my own. This relationship, this family, meant everything to me, Mr. Khan.
Everything.
But you never saw it. And, never let me show it.
You never let me tell you How Much I love you Mr. Khan...
Surprised? Don't be. Yes, Mr. Khan I love you. I love you for being there for me everytime I have been in trouble. For being my support system, my fall back option. My knight in shining armor. The sharer of my pain. The one to wipe my tears... The one to erase my fears... I love you. I have loved you. Even before I realized it myself, but I have... Even before I knew what love was, I have...
I know by the time you read this letter, I will be far far away from you, physically. Perhaps already in New York. But, my heart will always carry a part of you and the moments I spent with you, along, in it. My heart will always love you.
Mr. Khan, I did not call of our wedding because I was scared to be with you, or because all this was fake for me. I did not run away from the Nikaah because I dont value relationships.
I ran away, because all this is so real for me, so real... Like nothing ever has before. And, to see something so real, so close to my heart, lose like this to an outsider... and die such a slow death at the hands of mistrust... no Mr. Khan, I dont have the courage. After losing Ammi and Abbu, I dont have the courage to lose the only man I love, or will ever love, you...
I don't want to prove anyting Mr. Khan. You may be right, Tanveer is right. I am wrong. May be I misunderstood everything... you, her... everything. But, how do you suppose we can build a life together, if we are not a team? How do you suppose, I can feel secure, in the arms of a man, who does not trust me, an ounce?
I can't see the throes of mistrust slowly killing the love we have for each other...
And, that is why Mr. Khan, I am going back to New York.
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved... And, in that sense Mr. Khan, in the challenge that Tanveer threw at me, she won. And, I ... Lost...
I wish I was worthy of your trust, Mr. Khan. I wish, just once, once, you looked beyond my exterior, and trusted the woman inside... I wish, that just once, you realized the power of my love... your love... our love...
Yours,
Zoya
Part 6 - Doubting oneself
Asad's world came crashing down. He wept like a baby. He didn't understand, if he felt worse when he almost lost Zoya in Mangalpur or now... May be now, because the thought that she was his, until this moment, just his... made the feeling of pain worse.
He questioned himself. was his Ammi right? Had he not understood the true meaning of love? Had he not trusted Zoya, ever?
How can that be, he asked himself. He shook himself, wiped his tears... and lied to himself...Bull shit... ofcourse, I trust Ms. Farooqi.Ofcourse, I do. Has she even noticed, how much I changed for her... Did she realize, how school boyish I felt waiting for her to return with that iPad in my hand... or, how hurt I was with her relevation of being an orphan, or how moved that she chose me... me, to share her deepest fears... No she didn't. Did she hear my heart racing fast, when she held my arm the other day when I went to call her for dinner? Or the butterflies in my stomach when I saw her in that beautiful black saree... She probably was too drunk to notice how mesmerized I was with her childish antics that night... or how I almost had to shake myself out of the stupor of her beauty and stop myself from kissing her that night...
She has never noticed anything... then how will she notice the little changes I made in my behavior for her, for us. There was a reason, I gave her that sleeveless suit, right? There was a reason, why despite my own hopes of her impressing Imaam saab, I was ready to explain and stand by her... After all, slowly but slowly I was realizing her beauty as a person. She was making me aware of how despite being different, we could be together... Yes, she is chirpy, bubbly, immature... but then she is the one who brought sunshine into our dull house... She was right, I was a robot before she arrived. Her mess,her loud voice, her laughter... filled the Khan mansion with some unknown, unbehest music... She brought smiles to our face... Ammi's face, Najma's face... She was the one who made me realize that in my own way I was causing Najma to live in fear... She was the one who made me realize that with all my flaws, I was still complete in her eyes... and she could depend on me... She was the one... She taught me how to live... Even after going through so much in life herself, wo zindagi se naraz nahi hui... khud ki zindagi mein aur dusro ki zindagi mein bas khushiyaan bikherti rahi... She taught me to come out of my shell, and breathe... Oh Zoya...My Zoya...
Then why does everyone feel that I did not trust her. Isn't trusting someone, taking what they say into account and changing your opinion over time? "kisi ko kitna lamba jaante ho ye zaroori nahi hai, kisiko kitna jaante ho ye zaroor hai..." Dilshaad's words hammered his brain and gave him a headache... Was he wrong in expecting Zoya not to mistrust Tanu his childhood friend... Couldn't Zoya see, that those few people in his life - Ammi, Najma, Ayaan, Tanu, meant a lot to him, because that is all he had since he remembers. Unlike, Rashid, these were the pillars of support, and hope, that he had held on to since time immemorial. Then, why does everyone think that he was wrong in asking Zoya to atleast see things from his POV...
He did not find any answers... His brain was hurting as much as his heart now... When he loved Zoya so much, how could he be wrong... He did not know
Then, he picked up his cell phone... and once more smiling at the cell phone incident from the past, he dialled Zoya's number... He wanted to talk to her... But, what will she say? Will she even pick up? Fear made him disconnect the call. He ended up calling Ayaan instead.
Yes Bhaijaan...
Ayaan, I want to meet you.
Is everything okay Bhaijaan/
Yes, Ayaan. I just... Woh Actually... I just want to see you. When can you meet me?
Tomorrow morning at our usual place Bhaijaan?
Okay see you.
Asad heaved a sigh of relief. He felt as for the first time ever, as if he will be able to unburden his stress and have a heart to heart with Ayaan.
He tried to sleep that night, but couldn't. Thoughts of Zoya engulfed him. Her musical voice, her illogical shers... Her mesmerizing eyes... Oh Zoya, Oh zoya, he pined...
He got up. Went to the Kitchen... and made himself a cup of coffee. With milk and sugar... and decided to spend the night, outside in the backyard. The stars reminded him of the meteor shower night, and he smiled once more as he remembered how Zoya wished herself upon him... and vice versa... He never believed in these things.. but, he looked up and said "Ya Khuda Aaj bhi ek tara tod do... mujhe bhi mangni hai ek dua...Meri dua... Meri Zoya"
Part 7 - The seeds of doubt
Jammy...
Tanu called Asad from behind.
Asad's serene thoughts came to a screeching halt.
He did not want to be disturbed by anyone at this time, but has Tanu ever given him space? He felt it was better to let her finish talking what she had to say, than to protest and ask for some alone time.
She cunningly came next to him, and began showing sympathy. "Jammy"...Please don't call me Jammy, Tanveer. I have told you many times already... Please don't call me Jammy.
As she continued her rant, Asad slowly stood up.Something about Tanu's proximity was bothering him now, specially after what Dilshaad said to him.
I know you are hurt and angry at this time...Zoya left you, at the opportune time of your Nikah, because of your trust on me. I feel very sorry Jammy. I am sorry that Zoya never understood you, or your friendship with me. I don't know why she always felt I was after her. I always had her and your best interest in mind... even though, I knew all along she was not the right one for you...Aapko to koi aisi ladki chahiye, jo aapke dard ko, aapki tehzeeb ko samjhe... jo aapko lambe arse se janti ho..."
Before she could say anything further, Asad gave her a strong look of disapproval. But he still kept quite.
He could not take it any longer though, so he told her to leave him alone.
Tanu thought she has hit the bulls eye. She quitely left, in the false confidence of her victory.
Asad, questioned himself one more time. Something about Tanu's sympathy seemed so fake and superficial. He tried to recollect every incident since Tanu moved in the house and analyzed if anything made sense, or gave a clue.
It's not that he had not doubted Tanveer. He knew she was upto something. After all her lies - about the stone eye, the divorce, and her fear of the doctors, her pregnancy - came out, he had begun to question her intentions. But, somehow, he could not convince himself to believe that she was cunning and manipulative. Yes, she was definitely hiding something... He knew Zoya was not wrong in suspecting that... But, still, how could he believe what Zoya told him, just a few hours before his Nikaah... that Tanveer wanted to separate them, and marry him? How disgusting is the thought... He remembered, his last few words with Zoya once again...
"Zoya" he had yelled...
Zoya, was shocked to see his hand raised once again...It stopped half way mid air, before hell could break loose once again...
But he pulled back. "Zoya, main wo galati nahi dohrana chahta, jo main ek baar pehle kar chuka hoon. Us galati ke liye, main apne aap ko aajtak maaf nahi kar paya...Par, aap Tanu aur mere baare mein itna ghatiya kaise soch sakti hain..."
"Mr Khan, but ..."
He knew he had hurt Zoya by raising his hand once for no fault of hers. He knew Zoya had forgiven him for it, because she realized that in that moment of agony, and the fear of losing Dilshaad, he could not vent his own feelings with words... But he had never been able to forgive himself. Not for the slap, nor for the hurtful words he had said to her after that. Had he known how much Zoya had suffered in life at that time, he would have never said that to her. How wrong he was in saying Zoya never valued relationships... No one valued them as much as Zoya did... Because, she had lost it all once, in life... At a very young age. It was wonderful to see that she was still not bitter about life, and always found a way to laugh. She brought sunshine to everyone's life... Like a fairy... she was always spreading Zoya... And, now that he finally understood her, he almost committed the sin again? He said to himself... "Ya Khuda! What have I done". He was glad that he had stopped before he commited the sin again, but he knew, just seeing his hand half raised, Zoya was hurt. Very hurt.
He almost crushed the cup of coffee his hand in anger. It began bleeding like his heart...
A question now got stuck in his mind like a broken record player... Why did Zoya accuse Tanveer of such a disgusting blame? Can Tanveer really stoop so low?
Part 8: The meeting
The two brothers hugged each other as they always do, but Ayaan felt as if something was different with his Bhaijaan this time. Like he was meeting only a half-Asad. He asked his Bhaijaan, if everything is okay... And, just like a volcano ready to burst, this one question, brought Asad to tears. He had never felt so vulnerable ever, and he burst crying. Ayaan consoled him. Even his heart pained to see his powerful, I know it all brother break down like this.
After a few moments of silence... Asad asked... Main kahan galat tha Ayaan... Kahan galat tha? I agree that my love for Zoya began as a chase... a chase of the unattainable, and was perhaps fuelled by a sheer attraction I felt towards her vibrant personality... But slowly, she had enthralled me with her inner beauty... her caring nature, her illustrous character... her wonderfully forgiving heart and her enthusiasm for life... all of it had grown on me. Wo alag nahi, sabse alag thi... sabse khaas...
You know that Ayan... You know that over time, I had slowly begun to trust her with everything. She had proved this over and over again... She cared for Ammi, more than I cared for her perhaps... She was an elder sister to Najma... to you... She went two steps ahead trying to make you happy, or even Humeira who was in now way related to her... So when she had her doubts about Tanveer, although I did not fully agree with her, I did give her the benefit of doubt, Ayaan... And you know that...
Talking about Tanveer, you know I have known her for almost 30 years, Ayaan. I know her a person who has always been gentle, caring and respectful. So, although my heart wanted to listen to Zoya, my mind told me this couldn't be...I know something about her was off. I realized there were inconsistencies in a lot of things she was telling us... but I always felt it was to do with the trauma she was going through...Although the fact that she had chosen to hide so much about her life from us worried me, I wanted to respect her privacy...Everything she said, made sense, although the fact that she had chosen to hide so much about her life from us worried me, I wanted to respect her privacy...and let things take its own course.
But, then...
You know that as soon as Tanveer told me about her stone eye that night, I felt something in her story was amiss. I mean, still everything made sense... May be the murder attempts were on Tanveer... May be, the person who Purvi saw that night was Tanveer, but she was being bullied and manhandled by her husband at that time... but, I know for sure that the person who exchanged the blood samples was Tanveer... I wanted to know why she would do that... Although I did not encourage Zoya much, I began feeling as if there is more to the story than meets the eye...My heart told me, may be Zoya is right.You know I called you that night, right Ayan?
Ayaan, just nodded, giving his brother who had so much pent up inside him a chance to just continue venting...
You know I never like when Zoya unabashedly gets on these spying missions. She never worries for her own safety and always ends up doing something silly without realizing and putting herself in trouble. I hate that...Agar Zoya kuchh ho jaye, to main paagal ho jaunga, Ayaan... main...
Ayaan, just patted his shoulder to comfort him, hoping Asad still has a lot more to say..
For the first time ever in my life, I went against my principles and spied on Tanveer. You know that. I called the doctor and asked if her reports were normal... I even sent Faisal to Kanpur, to meet with Tanveer's partners and see if her factory was indeed working as Zoya had suspected... I felt so cheap and low doing that to my friend for the longest time... You know how ashamed I felt whe Tanveer found out I called her doctor... And what made me feel even worse was that there was a reason she exchanged those blood samples... I mean, think of it, her husband left her upon finding she is carrying his child, and she had nowhere else to go... In fact Tanveer suspects, its her husband who burnt her factory on purpose...
Ayaan, even though I know Zoya's instincts are usually right, I cant just suspect Tanveer like this or leave her alone to fend for herself and her unborn child without any proof... And, I looked for the proof myself, Ayaan... but how do I explain to Zoya that this time indeed she is mistaken... Though Tanveer is hiding a lot , she is not malicious...
I trust Zoya, but aisa bhi to ho sakta hai Ayaan ki Zoya koi galatfahmi hui ho...
Kya wo mujhe is baat ki itni badi sazaa dengi... kya wo mujhse pyaar nahi karti Ayaan? Yes, she never confessed openly Ayaan, but I saw it in her eyes... I saw it in her eyes Ayaan... She endured so much for me... including physical pain on the Mehndi night... and she just smiled through it... what was giving her strength... except the realization that she loves me? How can my heart bhi wrong, Ayaan? I know she loves me... Right? She loves me , right Ayaan? Then why did she leave me, Ayaan...
Zoya, he cried his lungs out... loud, very loud...
And asked again... Does she not love me Ayaan? Does she not love me...
And, broke down again...
Bhaijaan... Bhaijaan... Hold yourself... Listen to me... consoled Ayaan...
Part 9: Joining the dots...
Ayaan realized that more than Asad not trusting Zoya, the issue was that Zoya and Asad did not trust their love, their relationship. May be because their own realization of it was so slow... May be because there was someone always there to cloud their judgement. May be because both of them were emotionally challenged...
He wanted to just run out and tell Zoya that her Mr. Khan after all did trust her. He did try to find out Tanveer's reality. But, she perhaps outsmarted him too. But, he couldn't do that, just like that. He also wanted to tell Asad that Zoya hadn't gone back to New York, but was staying in Bhopal itself to unmask this caty woman called Tanveer. But, he had learnt, from his own life and the ploys Razia had been setting for him all this while, that Tanveer was too smart for all this. So, he kept his cool.
He slowly took out a letter. He hugged his brother and gently handed this to him. And whispered, Bhaijaan, read this in the car. As soon as you get in the car. Not a moment before.Not a moment later.
And, then said out loud... Bhaijaan, what can you do now? What is lost is lost... Zoya has left forever. I think you should rethink about your life and start it fresh. Perhaps find someone who was more suited to your lifestyle... It hurts, Bhaijaan, but that is the truth. He said it with a quirkiness, that Asadi instantly recognized. Asad's heart knew immediately that Ayaan was up to something. But he kept his anxiety and excitement to himself, and quickly slid the note into the pocket of his jacket.
***
Tanveer, who was listening to this conversation from a hiding place,smiled in glee. She was happy that Ayaan did the exact opposite of what she was fearing. Ayaan did not encourage Asad to set things right and bring back Zoya or give her a chance to explain. Phew, she exclaimed!
As she walked back out of the place, she had flashbacks and thanked her stars that she overheard Asad calling Ayaan and wanting to meet him. She was glad she followed him to here. She was confident that the thorn called Zoya is now possibly out of her life, and as long as she sympathesizes with Asad, he will eventually be hers. After all she does not even have to hide her pregnancy from him anymore, so chances are that he will marry her, just to give her a respectable life, and her baby a name. She said to herself, "I can't believe how lucky can I get all the time. The other day I overheard Asad talking to Ayaan about finding out about my factory by sending someone there and meeting my doctor... and today I overheard him wanting to meet him... I am condident that even Khuda is with me... Ya Allah! I am going to be Mrs. Asad Ahmed Khan soon... Playing the sympathy card is now going to be my trump card..." She strutted away in her over confidence.
Ayaan saw her shadow fade through the godown.He was happy his trick was successful. Now was the time to rush to Zoya and tell her about it all... He couldn't control himself... Bhabhijaan! He whispered, as he wiped his tears... of joy!
***
Asad reached his car. Nervously, brought out the letter. As he was looking for it, something felt his fingers. Zoya's earring which was also there... Yes, that earring it was. He looked at it fondly and smiled. A tear fell off from his eye ... he felt it on the back of his arm. It brought him back from the world of wonderful memories to the reality - the letter... And, then, began reading the letter.
"Bhaijaan, I am writing a letter to you, because I am pretty sure someone was listening to us talk. I don't want to name who this someone is right now, because I don't have enough proofs against her, but I am sure you are smart enough to figure it out. I won't say that you trust what Zoya Bhabhi said about Tanveer. I won't even ask you not to trust your childhood friend. All I will say is that do not trust anyone but your blood and your love at this time, and put every other person in the circle of doubt - shaque ka dayra. Just be careful, what you share with, and where you share with about Zoya,Tanveer and anything else important to your life. I wanted to make sure that our next meeting is a complete secret... Because I have a surprise for you. Your surprise will wait for you with me, at 7:00 AM sharp at the Dargah. Make sure you tear this letter and discard it on your way to home, so that no one else knows about this. If after this meeting, you still feel you should trust Tanu, and Zoya Bhabhi should understand your POV, I promise you that I will make her understand, and bring her back... "
Asad's joys knew know bound. His heart raced faster as he read the last line ten times... "make her understand and bring her back...". He was glad that Ayaan was ready to help him, and explain his POV to Zoya. He was happy that he could finally tell Zoya that he never mistrusted her... it's just that he had no reason to mistrust Tanveer until now. He swiftly tore the letter. To as many little bits of pieces as he could... and let them fly out the window as he raced back home...
And, then he pondered over the warning in the letter. He remmebered how Tanveer was trying to sympathesize with him last night... Suddenly, all of Tanu's touches so far began disgusting him. He remembered, how he had teased Zoya about being jealous, and smiled. But, was he right in doing all this? Why couldn't he understand that no matter how much his friend wanted his support, if the love of his life was uncomfortable with their proximity he could have distanced himself from her.If not emotionally, or as a friend, atleast physically. He swore never to let Tanveer cross the line of friendship anymore. Not even for sympathy. After all, ab main kisi aur ka shohar hoon, he said with a proud smile on his face. Nikaah ki rasmein nahi hui to kya hua, Main Zoya ka hoon, aur Zoya ka hi rahunga...
Part 10: Pyaar hai ya Sazaa.
Asad could not sleep again, that night. The thoughts of what Ayaan said, kept playing in his mind... Tanveer brought him some black coffee, and began her charade of sympathy again.
Jammy, why are you hurting yourself over a girl who never was worthy of your love in the first place... I know you had doubts in the beginning... but then with Khala's insistence, you began envisioning a life with her... but look at me Jammy, you knew from day one right, she was not right for you... I am glad that you found out the reality before the Nikaah...
Asad stared at her, and shouted Tanveer! Did you need anything?
No, Jam...
Asad... Asad Naam hai Mera... Jammy nahi...
Yeah, Asad... I was just...
You were just what? Can you just leave me alone... No one knows what is good for me, more than I myself do...
Tanveer, just passed on the cup of coffee to him, and said, I brought this for you...
I don't drink black coffee any more, Tanveer... You can take it back. Thanks for your thoughtfulness though, but it was not needed... Asad, said curtly.
Asad began feeling more and more uncomfortable with Tanveer's interference in his moments of solitude now. He began wondering that Zoya's fears and accusations on Tanveer were after all not that baseless. If she really just cared for him, just as a friend... she should be pained by his pain, and know how much he loves Zoya.
But, Asad was in no mood to ponder over Tanveer. He was happy recollecting memories of his beautiful Zoya...
***
There, Ayaan drove to the hotel Zoya was at...
Mona Bhabhi...
He joked...
Zoya gave him a stern look... She was in no mood for his jokes right now...
Ayaan...What is it? Why did you want to meet me now?
Okay, no jokes anymore. I came here because I am taking you to meet Bhaijaan tomorrow morning. I think the time has come, when we can meet him...
So you think he trusts me now?
Well, that would be if he never trusted you in the first place...
What do you mean? You know he did not believe a word of what I said... Infact, you who knew nothing about it are here, trusting me... but he, he just blatantly refused to believe me...
Zoya, jo dikhta hai wohi hamesha sach nahi hota... kuchh sach dil se sune jaate hain, chahein aankhon se dekhe jaein ki nahi...
Zoya had a puzzled look on her face...
Zoya, bhaijaan trusts you. He even spied on Tanveer all the way to Bhopal to see if your accusations carried merit... But Zoya, she outsmarted him... And you know bhaijaan, once he trusts someone, he maintains that relationship to eternity. So to not have proofs against Tanveer, but still go against her was also no right in his eyes... He trusted you, but he genuinely thinks you are misunderstanding Tanveer...
Zoya's world came crashing down on her... She felt a lump through her throat. And, then she smiled, realizing that after all, she was mistaken. Her Asad did trust her...
Pata hai Zoya, what your problem is? That you both keep so much to yourself. Both Bhaijaan and you... You both are emotionally challenged, :)
Zoya spanked his head as he said that, but blushed realizing he was right...
She realized she had made a mistake by walking out on Asad on her Nikaah day... But, then she knew that it was not so much because she felt Asad mistrusted her... but more so to make Tanveer believe that she won this game.. She knew eventually Asad would realize the missing pieces in the jigsaw and come to her... but until then she wanted to let Tanveer pride in winning ... so that she could make some mistake and Zoya could get a proof against her... She was just pleasantly surprised, that this moment came so soon!
She wiped her tears... and told Ayaan... Ayaan, 7 kab bajenge?
***
Asad left his home sharp on time, not wanting to be late even a moment...
Part 11: And, they meet...
shabefurkat kaa jaagaa huuN farishton ab to sone do
(Since the night of separation I am awake, angels[of death] let me sleep now)
kabhii fursat men kar lenaa hisaab ahista ahista
(Take account of everything later, when you have time, but slowly)
Asad, related differently to this song that played in his car today. He had been listening to Jagjit Singh for years. But, for the first time, he felt a strange catharsis gripping over him, all over again. He couldn't stop his tears. And, then he wondered, if he cried due to the pain of having not met Zoya for a week, or due to joy that sprung from the hope that Ayaan would convince Zoya about coming back to him. But for a change, he did not question his emotions. He just let his tears flow.
On the other hand, Zoya dressed up as beautifully as she could. In the color red. She knew, Asad secretly loved her wearing this colour, though he has never said anything. She had beautiful glass bangles in one of her hands...and a silk kurti adorning her jeans. As she stepped out, Ayaan looked at her with a suspicious depth in his eyes. She asked him, why he was looking at her like that, by raising her brows... He just winked at her, and signalled that she looked stunning, almost teasing her. She spanked his head in love. He just dodged her spank and said, haque hai bhabhi... haque hai mera!
Finally both Asad and Ayaan reached at the designated spot. As decided, Zoya hid behind a wall, and let the brothers meet.
The brothers hugged as usual, and Asad thanked Ayaan. Ayaan, you don't know... he said... How relieved I am to know that finally someone believes me.I do not mistrust Zoya, Ayaan. I just can not kick out a womnan who was almost killed by her husband, kidnapped on our wedding day, and is pregnant just because of Zoya's suspicion.
Zoya clenched her fists. She could not bear Asad taking Tanu's side, one more time, but she kept quite.
I had asked Tanveer to abort the baby, and start life fresh in Kanpur... But she refused, saying her Khuda will not forgive her if she did that. Can you imagine, Ayaan, she is ready to bear the baby of a husband who tortured her so badly... I have immense respect for her. Not that I did not trust Zoya... As you already know I tried to find proofs against Tanu, despite my reservations to do so. But, Zoya is mistaken. When I got late on the day of the Nikaah, Zoya just blasted at me for prioritizing Tanu over her, and questioned her intentions. She even went to the extent of blaming Tanveer trying to separate us on purpose, because ... because... Mujhe to kehte hue bhi sharm aati hai Ayaan... Aur fir to tum bhi jaante ho, us din gusse mein, mera haath ...
And, Asad just hit his hand hard on the wall, in disgust. As if wanting to punish himself.
Ayaan simply listened to him... and said nothing.
Asad asked him, why he was so quite.
Bhaijaan, I have a question for you.
Yes, Ayaan ask...
If Zoya asked you to ask Tanveer to leave the house, would you?
What kind of a question is that, Asad said... while Zoya's fist tightened.
Bhaijaan... Just answer me.
Ayaan, you know that I would never do something like that... And a tear fell down Zoya's eye... as if ... her world had crashed...
It is against my principle to do something like this to a woman, who is alone and needs her friend the most at this time. And, I know Ms Farooqi would not ask anything like that of me. If this would have been the case, Ms Farooqi would have already asked me to do that, instead of walking out on me... Zoya was barely holding herself...
But...Zoya's eyes lighted up.
If this is the price I must pay to be with Zoya, as against it is my principes and my heart, I would do it for her. I would do it for Zoya... And, Zoya, who was holding her self up till now, burst into tears. This time, of joy...
Bas Bhaijaan, this is what I wanted to hear.
But why? Asad asked in confusion...
Because... Ayaan said, and raised his hand to point to the wall Zoya was hiding behind...
And she slowly walked out from behind it...
Asad, could not believe his eyes. Like a fairy clad in red, with tears in her eyes, she slowly walked towards Asad...
Asad had never seen some one so beautiful as her. He was reminded of the first time he saw her in the Dargah...
Asad, touched her... as if he wanted to make sure he was not imagining her... and wiped her tears... not realizing his own were overflowing too... And,then he said... Zoya... Zoya...
And, got so overcome with emotion, that he just hugged her... as tightly as he could... caressing the lone strand of hair away from her face...
Zoya hadn't felt so relieved in years. For the first time ever, she hugged someone, as her own. She felt like the river that runs a thousand miles to flow into the ocean... That one embrace, quenched her heart's desires. She did not feel like an orphan anymore... She felt , as if she was someone's. Asads...
Mr. Khan... she said, in a cracked voice... But Asad, just put his fingers on her lips, and signalled for her, to just let go. Zoya, just did that... Both of them, just embraced each other, and let themselves melt in each other's arms... and drown in tears of joy...
*****
And, Ayaan, just smiled... and turned away. He wondered, if he would ever fall in love as well... And, suddenly, Humeira's face flashed across his eyes... Ayaan's smile withered into confusion, and Ayaan asked himself... How can Humeira care so much for me,when I barely even acknowledge her presence in my life?...
Part 12: The plan...
Mr. Khan, Zoya said, with seriousness. I know you want me to reconcile with Tanveer. I know her importance in your life. But there is something I want you to hear out, and that too patiently.
Asad, was about to give his Not Again look, but the fear of losing Zoya all over again, held him back.
Mr. Khan, I know you don't trust that Tanveer has ill intentions, and you won't question her till I have proof. But, can I ask you to help me get that proof. Can I ask you one chance, Mr. Khan?
Asad looked at her puzzled. He went on to elaborate that he did investigate on his own in Tanveer's matter, and also mentioned that he was rather hurt that Zoya blamed Tanveer for plotting the kidnaping, and all.
Zoya, he said. Do you really think that had Ayaan not reached the factory on time that day, Tanveer really had intentions to ... I can't even say it...
Mr. Khan. Do you think, I will ever lie to you?
Ofcourse, not, he said.
Then, would you believe me if I said, that Tanveer herself challenged me to this?
Asad just looked at her in disgust.
I know you wouldn't.
No, Zoya, I do... he said, as a tear fell off his eye again.
Then, listen to me. Have you never felt something about Tanveer is off?
Have you never felt that she is trying to get close to you, and rip us apart...
Asad could not say No. He remembered, how Tanveer had been behaving with him ever since their Nikaah was called off.
Mr. Khan. I don't know why Tanveer would do this. But, I know for sure, her intentions are to separate us and marry you. I also know for sure, and your Abu... Mr. Rashid I mean, helped me discover this as well, that she does not love you.
Before I could find out more about her, she played her trump card. And unfortunately our argument that day was her first little victory. I am sorry Mr. Khan, that day I was too hurt by the fact that you chose to trust Tanveer over me, and almost raised your hand on me. But, I know where you are coming from. What you are not understanding is where I am coming from. And, trust me, it is not jealousy. I worry for you, for Najma, for Ami...
Asad's heart smiled as she said Ami. It was such a sweet thing to hear, he said to himself.
So what do you want me to do? Kick out Tanveer.
No, Mr. Khan. I won't ask you to go against your principles, and do something like that. Because, I know when the truth will be out you yourself will do that. I just want your help for the next fifteen days, so that you and I can get the proof you want me to get, against her. Itni to ummeed kar sakti hoon, main apne hone wale shohar se... ki wo meri jung mein mera saath de... Main, ek dost se ek dost ko bewafai karne ke liye nahi kahoongi, par wo dost, mera bhi to kuchh lagta hai... aur uska meri or bhi to koi farz hai , hai na Mr. Khan?
Zoya looked at Asad earnestly...
He looked at Ayaan, who reassuringly nodded his head.
Okay. What do you want me to do? Asad said... while Ayaan and Zoya heaved a sigh of relief!
Part 13 - The game starts
Asad and Zoya walked in hand in hand, in Khan mansion, much to everyone's surprise. Tanveer, got the biggest shock of her life, because she thought Zoya had bid everyone good bye and packed herself off to New York.
Zoya, you? Didn't you go to New York...
Asad chipped in. Yes, she did. But I asked her to come back. I know she was disrespectful to you Tanveer, on the day of our Nikaah, but I can't live without her. I am sure you will forgive her for my sake, won't you?
What could have Tanveer done? She had to eat her words, and hug Zoya. Ofcourse, I will forgive her. Every family has misunderstandings.
Tanveer, thanks so much for forgiving me. It is your greatness, that despite being a guest of our family, and being disrespected by me, you are ignoring my accusations on you. You have a big heart...
The word, guest hurt Tanveer like no other. She wowed to avenge her insult but kept silent for now.
Zoya went and hugged Dilshaad, and Najma, who were overjoyed at her return. They had been praying everyday that this happens.
As planned, Asad and Zoya also announced their Nikaah. Agle Jumme, main Zoya se Nikaah kar raha hoon Ammi. Agar is hafte Nikaah nahi kiya to we will have to wait a month before Ramzan ends he said. Dilshaad, smiled, thus granting her approval.
I will start the preparations she said.
Ammi, after that, Zoya and I want that we all go to Ajmer-E-Sharif and thank Allah for his blessings. I will call the travel agent and ask him to book our tickets. Tanveer, I am hopeful you can take care of our house in our absence...
Tanu fumed at not being included in this family trip. She slowly went outside to the balcony while everyone got busy...What was she to do now? Had the SR plan been successful, she could have easily guilted Asad into marrying her by claiming him to be the father of the child. But this Zoya ruined everything. Zoya opened her secret in front of everyone by announcing how she had challenged her to enjoy her Suhag Raat with Asad. Thank Allah, that Asad did not believe Zoya. Atleast, she was able to have them call off the nikaah for a few days. 15 days, but what? She thought... Every plan of hers was failing. First the SR failed because Ayaan got there on time! Why! Why! Why she thought. Why did Asad have to call Ayaan. Then, Zoya accused her openly of planning the attack. And, since her baby bump started showing, she had to claim that she was carrying her ex husband's child... And, now Zoya is back.She cant even play the sympathy card anymore... What should I do... she kept thinking, as she hit the wall in anger with her bare hands.
Kya hua Tanveer? Zoya asked? Mujhe dekh ke pareshan ho? Mat hona. Maine Mr. Khan se tumhare baare mein kuchh nahi kaha. Maine bas itna kaha hai ki tum unki dost ho, aur mujhe apni galati ka ehsaas hai. I can live with you...
While they were talking, Asad walked in, with Dilshaad and announced.
Tanveer, Zoya and I were discussing about your future. You are carrying Waqaur's kid. I need you to give me his number. I will talk to him. We will put sense in him. Maine uske jaise kaiyn thik kiye hain. Aise logon ko handle karna mujhe achhe se aata hai. Don't you worry, he will take full rseponsibility of his kid. He then handed her some papers.
What is this, she asked, puzzled. Your factory papers, Tanu. I bought you a factory near Mangalpur. Since you did not want to move back to Kanpur... My staff has arranged for everything to be moved here and also found a few workers you can meet tomorrow morning...
Tanveer felt as if the ground was shaking under her feet. Was Asad, really doing this to her? How will she give him her husband's number, when one never existed???
And, yes, one more thing...Since Mangalpur is about 4 hours drive from here, we also arranged a fully serviced flat for you to stay. You will have help 24*7 there. You can visit us as often as you like, but with your baby, I think it will be convenient for you to stay close to the factory.
Good luck Tanveer. The driver will be here at 7:00 AM tomorrow. Good Night.
He turned, and looked at Zoya with guilt. He felt as if he was cheating Tanveer. Zoya assured him silently that it was required. She had told him earlier, that even if she is proven wrong, it is in Tanveer's interest to help her back on her feet : This was her way of convincing him after all. And, before he knew it, she winked making him all red in the face. Why did I falli n love with this stupid girl, he asked himself...and with a half smile gracing his lips, quietly left from there.
Everyone left leaving Tanveer fuming. She had to do something. Time was running out of her hand. What could it be that she can do to atleast prolong her stay in Khan Mansion?
Part 13 - The game starts
Asad and Zoya walked in hand in hand, in Khan mansion, much to everyone's surprise. Tanveer, got the biggest shock of her life, because she thought Zoya had bid everyone good bye and packed herself off to New York.
Zoya, you? Didn't you go to New York...
Asad chipped in. Yes, she did. But I asked her to come back. I know she was disrespectful to you Tanveer, on the day of our Nikaah, but I can't live without her. I am sure you will forgive her for my sake, won't you?
What could have Tanveer done? She had to eat her words, and hug Zoya. Ofcourse, I will forgive her. Every family has misunderstandings.
Tanveer, thanks so much for forgiving me. It is your greatness, that despite being a guest of our family, and being disrespected by me, you are ignoring my accusations on you. You have a big heart...
The word, guest hurt Tanveer like no other. She wowed to avenge her insult but kept silent for now.
Zoya went and hugged Dilshaad, and Najma, who were overjoyed at her return. They had been praying everyday that this happens.
As planned, Asad and Zoya also announced their Nikaah. Agle Jumme, main Zoya se Nikaah kar raha hoon Ammi. Agar is hafte Nikaah nahi kiya to we will have to wait a month before Ramzan ends he said. Dilshaad, smiled, thus granting her approval.
I will start the preparations she said.
Ammi, after that, Zoya and I want that we all go to Ajmer-E-Sharif and thank Allah for his blessings. I will call the travel agent and ask him to book our tickets. Tanveer, I am hopeful you can take care of our house in our absence...
Tanu fumed at not being included in this family trip. She slowly went outside to the balcony while everyone got busy...What was she to do now? Had the SR plan been successful, she could have easily guilted Asad into marrying her by claiming him to be the father of the child. But this Zoya ruined everything. Zoya opened her secret in front of everyone by announcing how she had challenged her to enjoy her Suhag Raat with Asad. Thank Allah, that Asad did not believe Zoya. Atleast, she was able to have them call off the nikaah for a few days. 15 days, but what? She thought... Every plan of hers was failing. First the SR failed because Ayaan got there on time! Why! Why! Why she thought. Why did Asad have to call Ayaan. Then, Zoya accused her openly of planning the attack. And, since her baby bump started showing, she had to claim that she was carrying her ex husband's child... And, now Zoya is back.She cant even play the sympathy card anymore... What should I do... she kept thinking, as she hit the wall in anger with her bare hands.
Kya hua Tanveer? Zoya asked? Mujhe dekh ke pareshan ho? Mat hona. Maine Mr. Khan se tumhare baare mein kuchh nahi kaha. Maine bas itna kaha hai ki tum unki dost ho, aur mujhe apni galati ka ehsaas hai. I can live with you...
While they were talking, Asad walked in, with Dilshaad and announced.
Tanveer, Zoya and I were discussing about your future. You are carrying Waqaur's kid. I need you to give me his number. I will talk to him. We will put sense in him. Maine uske jaise kaiyn thik kiye hain. Aise logon ko handle karna mujhe achhe se aata hai. Don't you worry, he will take full rseponsibility of his kid. He then handed her some papers.
What is this, she asked, puzzled. Your factory papers, Tanu. I bought you a factory near Mangalpur. Since you did not want to move back to Kanpur... My staff has arranged for everything to be moved here and also found a few workers you can meet tomorrow morning...
Tanveer felt as if the ground was shaking under her feet. Was Asad, really doing this to her? How will she give him her husband's number, when one never existed???
And, yes, one more thing...Since Mangalpur is about 4 hours drive from here, we also arranged a fully serviced flat for you to stay. You will have help 24*7 there. You can visit us as often as you like, but with your baby, I think it will be convenient for you to stay close to the factory.
Good luck Tanveer. The driver will be here at 7:00 AM tomorrow. Good Night.
He turned, and looked at Zoya with guilt. He felt as if he was cheating Tanveer. Zoya assured him silently that it was required. She had told him earlier, that even if she is proven wrong, it is in Tanveer's interest to help her back on her feet : This was her way of convincing him after all. And, before he knew it, she winked making him all red in the face. Why did I falli n love with this stupid girl, he asked himself...and with a half smile gracing his lips, quietly left from there.
Everyone left leaving Tanveer fuming. She had to do something. Time was running out of her hand. What could it be that she can do to atleast prolong her stay in Khan Mansion?
Part 14 - The last rites
Zoya knocked Tanveer's door in the morning. Tanveer it's time to go she said, as she gave Asad an I know it all look. Asad was, worried, anxious. A part of him wanted to believe Zoya. After all many unexplained incidents had happened in the house, ever since Tanu had been around - the kidnapping, the attacks, that live wire in Zoya's bathroom... And, a part of him wanted her to be wrong. How could Tanveer stoop so low? Could she, he asked... as he bit his nails anxiously. Tanveer opened the door, and gave a look of disgust to Zoya and followed it up with a smirk. As they climbed down the stairs, Tanveer played her card. She pretended an ankle sprain. Allah Miya... she yelled... leaving everyone stunned.
Are you okay, asked Zoya.
Tanveer just pretended to cry. Jammy, I am sorry Jammy, I don't think I can walk now. Can you please let me stay here till I heal. I am sure, aap apne dost ke liye itna to kar hi sakte hain...
Ofcourse, said Asad as he looked at Zoya. He realized she had made her point. She was right, that Tanveer would do something to stop her exit from their house. He felt as if his world had come crashing down. His heart raced like there's no tomorrow. He felt guilty, anxious, angry everything at the same time. But he had to control his emotions. This was not the proof they were looking for.
He signaled Zoya to take her to her room.
Later that night at the dinner table, Asad and Zoya shared a beautiful eyelock as they were laying the table. Zoya... whispered Asad. I wanted to tell you something.
Yes Mr. Khan. Zoya, I fear.
Fear what Mr. Khan...
That your fear will come true.
Agar aisa hua, Zoya, to I will never be able to forgive myself.
Zoya just put her finger on his lips, and told him Deewaron ke bhi kaan hote hain Mr. Khan.
Asad understood what she meant, and changed the topic.
Yes, Zoya, even they can hear the Mr. Khan.
Zoya looked at him with her eyes wide open, what???
That you call me Mr. Khan. Mr. Khan this. Mr. Khan that. Or occasionally you call me Jahapanaah, or Akdu...
What is the point, Mr. Khan? Zoya asked as she turned away from him.
That, I have never heard my name in your beautiful voice. Asad said, as he pulled her closer.
Zoya blushed, and traced her steps towards Asad, with her back still to him.
He held her by the shoulders and turned her around.
Ek baar, Zoya, ek baar to kaho.. Asad. Achha lagega.
No Mr. Khan, Zoya blushed and closed her eyes...
Asad leaned forward to steal a kiss, when a screeching Jammy snapped him out of his wonderland.
Both Zoya and Asad ran towards Tanveer's room. Her room was a mess. Tanveer's belongings scattered on the ground, her wrist bleeding.
What happened, Asad asked, as he took Tanveer in his arms and rushed to the hospital.
****
A few hours later, they returned home.
What happened, Asad? Dilshaad asked.
Nothing Ammi. Waqaur tried to hurt Tanu again. Asad said.
So we were wrong in assuming that he would be willing to patch up and mend his ways.
Asad hung his head in approval, while Tanveer smirked at the success of her plan.
But I dont know how he can get in here, Zoya shouted... How can he reach our house, Mr. Khan? May be...
Zoya... Please take Tanveer to her room . Asad shouted, silencing her. I have listened enough about this already.
Zoya looked at Tanveer, who was now almost gloating as to how easy it was to fool Asad one more time.
Jammy, bura na maane to ek baat kahun? Can I sleep with Zoya today in her room. May be for a few days? Mujhe akele neend nahi aegi.
Tanu laid her cards, hoping the deal will be in favor.
Sure, said Asad... and her heart cried, Yes!!! /She knew what her next move was going to be.
Ek teer se do shikaar karenge hum.I am sorry Zoya, I did not want to do this, but you have left me with no option... I will kill you tonight. With my sprained ankle, ofcourse, I can't save her! And, the blame will be on Waquar. After today, Asad will never try to reconcile me with him...She thought, as Zoya led her to her room. After giving her some warm milk and a sleeping tablet, she went to the terrace as promised to Asad.
Are you sure, Zoya you want to take that risk? A strange fear engulfs me. What if how you suspected those attempts to kill you were by Tanveer indeed? He panicked...
Don't worry Mr. Khan. True love always tests us. Tonight is my test. I am hopeful that I will be able to prove my point soon, and won't require 15 days after all. And, I am sure, till my Jahapannah Bond is there for me, nothing can happen to me...
Asad smiled, at her confidence.
Now look at this... she pulled out her iPad. Remember, Ayaan's engagement? She said! Asad remembered not only that but also the night she was laying the security alarm. After all, Nothing is impossible for Zoya Farooqi, he said as he embraced her back...
She did not let go his hug this time... letting herself melt in his arms...
****
As she slept, peacefully knowing that Allah had finally brought her close to her goal... Asad frantically kept looking at his laptop. It was 2:00 AM. Tanveer was still asleep. A part of him was relieved. Zoya was wrong, he said. And felt, safe. Safe for Zoya. He turned off the lights of his room, and went to change. He could not believe, he had just spent some moments with Zoya a few hours ago on the terrace. This Zoya. Who I couldn't stand for a minute. This Zoya... he smiled... as he stared at her earring one more time.
As he came back to his room, he decided to look at his laptop one more time. And, his heart started beating at 200 beats per second! He could hear its pounding sound, as he saw Tanveer get up, perfectly fine... and get a can of kerosene. He saw her dousing Zoya's bed with it... As Asad saw her get a candle, he madly rushed out of his room to Zoya's.
And, before Tanu cold do any further damage, he held her hand, and asked... with a voice trembling both with anger and fear...So this is your true face???
Part 14 - And...
Asad had never felt so betrayed in his life ever like this.Not even when Rashid had left them, and not even when Rashid had let him down several times. It was a pain he had forced himself to be numb to.
Tanveer? He thought. In the entire world of millions, he chose to trust a handful of five. And, out of that, Tanveer had to do this?
Jammy, let me explain... Tanveer tried to stutter.
Let you explain what, he roared, like a lion, shaking everyone up?
By that time, Dilshad and Najma had also gathered there.
Let you explain, why you had been trying to kill Zoya? Why you put the electric wire in her bath tub? Why you tried to poison Humeira?
Jammy... I did not do all that...Main to bas...
Tanveer... Asad broke with a voice that could ravage mountains that night... Dare you call me Jammy. Dare you take my name... You did not do it? So, who did it? I should have known your true face much earlier, Tanveer... Specially when that visa officer mentioned that a woman was trying to give him info about us... But, no I was blind. I was blind in my trust in you. You know why? Because my Ammi taught me never to disrespect the hand that feeds you, the heart that trusts you. I thought, that you would respect that we welcomed you with open hearts in our family when you were going through a tough time... That you would respect my mother treated you like a daughter... That you would respect... But you do not know the meaning of the word respect.
You only know the meaning of money. Selfishness. You are a disgrace to humanity and womankind. Afsos Tanveer... Just by wearing clothes that fully cover you, does not make you a good human being. No matter how many dupattas you wear to cover your head, you can never cover a dirty mind with it...
What did you want, Tanveer? Why did you do this to me?
Asad's voice choked as he asked those questions... And he lost balance, almost falling on Zoya's bed in distress. As he composed himself, he saw Zoya, caressing his shoulder.
Maine socha, Tanveer, you are my friend.You would understand, how much I longed for true love all life. How much my heart feared to trust an outsider. I thought you knew the walls I had built around my fragile heart, and you knew, how scared I was to break them... But, instead of being my friend, you stabbed me from behind, and ... Because of you, Tanveer...I lost my love... my ability to ever trust again... and more importantly my self respect... I can never, ever look in Zoya's eyes now... Never ever...
Don't say that Mr. Khan... Zoya whispered...
No Zoya. It is true. I deserve it. I deserve it, because I failed to see beyond this woman's garb. Just like I was wrong in judging you,I was wrong in judging this woman. I let her use my goodness to her advantage. I can forgive her for everything - for the lies, for the schemes... for even wanting to marry me or break my nikaah... but how can I forgive her for putting my family in danger... for putting my love's life at risk... and for breaking her heart so many times...
Tanveer... Asad said, in a stern voice as he rose from his seat...
And, walked up to her... Ayaan has called the police. He will be reaching with them anytime.
But Asad... she shaked... listen to me... Give me one chance...
One chance to do what , Tanveer? He lost control again... This time, he broke the vase next to him, to release his pent up anger. One chance, to break my trust one more time? To scheme one more time to create misunderstandings between Zoya and me? Or to use yuor cheap tricks to get ... chhi.. Mujhe kehne mein bhi sharam aati hai... itni giri hui aurat ho tum... What do you want a chance for?
Asad... She trembled again...
This time, Asad just raised his hand to slap her...but Zoya stopped her...
Mr.Khan... Apne haath is aurat ko maar kar gande mat kijiye... She is not even worthy of that...
The police arrived, and took Tanveer with them.
Asad hugged Ayaan, a thank you in his now heartless, lifeless form, and went into his room.
Zoya was about to go after him, but Dilshaad stopped her. Kuchh waqt do use, Zoya she said...
Zoya agreed.
Everyone retired to their room after clearing the mess.
No one could sleep that night... How could they?
Suddenly, Zoya heard, some noises from Asad's room. He was breaking stuff... She tried to get him to open the door, but he wouldn't.
Najma asked Dilshaad, if they should go downstairs, but Dilshaad told her not to. She knew, Zoya could handle her son. She told Najma, that we should be thankful to Zoya for showing us Tanveer's true colours. And, we should be thankful to Allah for giving us the opportunity for it.
Zoya, yelled from outside the door... Mr Khan, I am not going to go away from here till you open the door...
Asad did not budge. Zoya could hear him still breaking things... yelling... boxing... She knew, he was angry, hurt... but she could not let him be like that. She kept knocking his door persistently.
After sometime, Asad opened the door...
But he did not even look at Zoya. He raced right ahead to Tanveer's room, and dragged each of her belongings to the terrace.
Mr. Khan, What are you doing? Please stop... Zoya said.
Dont stop me Zoya...Dont stop me... Asad cried.
He made a huge pyre with all of Tanveer's belongings, and burnt them. As he watched the fire burn her belongings, he felt this fire consume him too. He closed his eyes as he recollected the several times he had hurt Zoya because of her. How he had not trusted her when she tried to show him her true colors... He also remembered the night of his Nikaah when Zoya blamed Tanveer for scheming the whole kidnapping, and how he almost raised his hand to stop her... Tears kept rolling from his eyes... and he was cursing himself over and over again for everything... He was so angry, that he stretched out his hand, into the fire to punish himself.
Zoya was seeing a different man today. She had never seen Asad so consumed by fury ever. Not even when he slapped her in anger at the hospital... She always knew that Asad being emotionally challenged could never really express his feelings,so he always did something like that, almost impulsively. How he broke the phone, the other day, was an example of it. But now she saw a different man. Heart broken, guilt ridden and angry at the same time... She wanted to give him the space to recover the betrayal. But she could not take it longer...She came forward and pulled his hand away and kissed it.
Asad jerked her away... I don't deserve this Zoya... I don't deserve you... Please leave me and go away...
She was taken aback but knew he was probably angry at himself more than anyone else.
Mr.Khan, why are you doing this. Do you realize that you are hurting me when you say this? She asked as he made him sit and placed a palm on his shoulder. She sat across from him, held his hands tightly, as reassuringly as she could... and said...Why are you saying this Mr. Khan... You know, I love you..
A lone tear trickled down Asad's eye as he heard that... But I don't deserve your love Zoya. As much as I tried to be different than my Abu, I ended up not trusting my love enough for an outsider. What is the difference between him and me... Why could not I see all this earlier?
Mr. Khan... because you are not at fault. All you did was trust your friend. Galti Tanveer ki hai Mr.Khan...
No Zoya... the mistake may be Tanveer's but I am a sinner. Main tumhara gunahgaar hoon Zoya. If I had not trusted you and made this plan with you, or if you had not left us already on the day of the Nikaah, Allah jaane what she would have done to you. She tried to kill you... Because of me you were in danger Zoya... How can I forgive myself? How many days did you end up fighting that evil woman yourself... I was not even by your side, Zoya... Main tumhare layak nahi hoon Zoya...He broke down as he could not say anything further.
Zoya took him in her arms, and let him cry. She knew he needed this vent. It was not about Tanveer. It was about trust, after all.She knew how much he needed to let go of these pent up emotions, to be able to trust again... that she let him just be.
After sometime, she wiped his tears with her hands, as she herself choked on hers...
Mr.Khan... Aap mujhse kitna pyaar karte hain?
Apni zindagi se bhi zyaada Zoya... he said...
Then listen to me. If Tanveer hurt me, she also hurt you.
Gham ka khazaana tera bhi hai mera bhi...
Ye nazraana tera bhi hai mera bhi... she hummed... just to cheer him up.
Asad gave his half smile, and looked at Zoya...
Jagjit Singh, your favorite singer, right?
Like a baby who was being pampered, Asad nodded his head and smiled one more time...
And you thought I can only do my trademark shayri? She smiled...
Asad was already feeling lighter, because he saw her smile. He was amazed at her strength at times. After all this is what drew him to her. No matter how harsh life had been to her... she never lost the smile on her lips or the sparkle in her eyes. Who could look at her and guess, what she had been through, just a few hours ago... he wondered.
Mr. Khan, I was never alone. I knew you had not trusted me earlier, but at that time, what were you sure of? Neither your feelings nor mine...And, I know how much you valued your friendship with Tanveer... So it was only natural for you to demand proofs for my accusations. Thank God, Ayaan told me that you had also tried to get some yourself... because otherwise, I would have never gotten the confidence to plan all of this. So, somewhere Mr. Khan, you did listen to your heart, and trust me... What are you blaming yourself for?
For hurting you Zoya... he said.
Mr.Khan, if you love me, please dont punish yourself like this. Whatever Tanveer did, we both suffered, but we should not let it affect our future. Mujhe apne pyaar pe aur aap pe pura yaqeen hai. Ab dekhna ye hai ki aap mujhpe aur mere yaqeen pe kitna yaqeen karte hain...
Asad felt a strange confidence as he heard Zoya say that she trusted him...
Safar lamba hai Mr. Khan... Aur pehla kadam wo suit tha... Yaad hai?
Asad nodded.
Aur dusra kadam aaj maine badhaya hai.
Kya aap mera saath denge Mr. Khan?
She held her hand out to him... and he held it, in approval.
Mr. Khan... Aapke paas do raste hain. Ek wo jo ye saabit karega ki aap thik hain, aur main galat. Asad looked at her puzzled... Yes, Mr. Khan, you can either prove your gut right that you are not worthy of love, or my trust right.. that no one is more worthy of it than you. The choice is yours.
But if you ask me, I will just tell you don't rob me of my biggest happiness... and my happiness is with you, Mr. Khan...
Asad placed his hand on her hand. He couldn't say anything. His tears spoke for him. But he was smiling. Smiling at this woman's ability to pull him up from his deepest dungeons. Truly so, one does not fall in love. One rises in love. His heart knew, he wanted to prove Zoya right. He wanted to free himself from this guilt, this agony, this mistrust that he had been living with all his life. He wanted to liberate himself, and his heart. Zoya had broken the wall around his heart brick by brick, and today, these words of hers, had ensured that the entire wall had collapsed... By loving him when he most needed it... By trusting him, more than himself, and by being with him when he least deserved it, Zoya had given him a new lease of life... A new desire to love... and live...
He just hugged her back, silently... and both Asad and Zoya got lost, peacefully, in each other's emrbace...as a meteor shower graced the sky...
Mr.Khan... Zoya jumped in excitement. Meteor Shower...
Aap kya mangenge, Mr. Khan, she asked batting her eyelids like a kid?
Awe... melted Asad's heart. This was the Zoya I fell in love with! He swooned. Kuchh nahi.. he said... Mujhe jo chahiye tha, wo maine pichhli baar hi maang liya tha... Aur khuda ne meri dua qubool bhi kar di hai Zoya...
Zoya looked at him, and asked, What?
Remember, what I wished for that night? He asked?
Zoya remembered what they had wished upon each other, and smiled...
I asked for a wish... Zoya... I asked for a wish, and you came true...
He gently kissed her hands, and then her forehead, and hugged her...
And, now, I don't need anything else...
The end...
Asad had never felt so betrayed in his life ever like this.Not even when Rashid had left them, and not even when Rashid had let him down several times. It was a pain he had forced himself to be numb to.
Tanveer? He thought. In the entire world of millions, he chose to trust a handful of five. And, out of that, Tanveer had to do this?
Jammy, let me explain... Tanveer tried to stutter.
Let you explain what, he roared, like a lion, shaking everyone up?
By that time, Dilshad and Najma had also gathered there.
Let you explain, why you had been trying to kill Zoya? Why you put the electric wire in her bath tub? Why you tried to poison Humeira?
Jammy... I did not do all that...Main to bas...
Tanveer... Asad broke with a voice that could ravage mountains that night... Dare you call me Jammy. Dare you take my name... You did not do it? So, who did it? I should have known your true face much earlier, Tanveer... Specially when that visa officer mentioned that a woman was trying to give him info about us... But, no I was blind. I was blind in my trust in you. You know why? Because my Ammi taught me never to disrespect the hand that feeds you, the heart that trusts you. I thought, that you would respect that we welcomed you with open hearts in our family when you were going through a tough time... That you would respect my mother treated you like a daughter... That you would respect... But you do not know the meaning of the word respect.
You only know the meaning of money. Selfishness. You are a disgrace to humanity and womankind. Afsos Tanveer... Just by wearing clothes that fully cover you, does not make you a good human being. No matter how many dupattas you wear to cover your head, you can never cover a dirty mind with it...
What did you want, Tanveer? Why did you do this to me?
Asad's voice choked as he asked those questions... And he lost balance, almost falling on Zoya's bed in distress. As he composed himself, he saw Zoya, caressing his shoulder.
Maine socha, Tanveer, you are my friend.You would understand, how much I longed for true love all life. How much my heart feared to trust an outsider. I thought you knew the walls I had built around my fragile heart, and you knew, how scared I was to break them... But, instead of being my friend, you stabbed me from behind, and ... Because of you, Tanveer...I lost my love... my ability to ever trust again... and more importantly my self respect... I can never, ever look in Zoya's eyes now... Never ever...
Don't say that Mr. Khan... Zoya whispered...
No Zoya. It is true. I deserve it. I deserve it, because I failed to see beyond this woman's garb. Just like I was wrong in judging you,I was wrong in judging this woman. I let her use my goodness to her advantage. I can forgive her for everything - for the lies, for the schemes... for even wanting to marry me or break my nikaah... but how can I forgive her for putting my family in danger... for putting my love's life at risk... and for breaking her heart so many times...
Tanveer... Asad said, in a stern voice as he rose from his seat...
And, walked up to her... Ayaan has called the police. He will be reaching with them anytime.
But Asad... she shaked... listen to me... Give me one chance...
One chance to do what , Tanveer? He lost control again... This time, he broke the vase next to him, to release his pent up anger. One chance, to break my trust one more time? To scheme one more time to create misunderstandings between Zoya and me? Or to use yuor cheap tricks to get ... chhi.. Mujhe kehne mein bhi sharam aati hai... itni giri hui aurat ho tum... What do you want a chance for?
Asad... She trembled again...
This time, Asad just raised his hand to slap her...but Zoya stopped her...
Mr.Khan... Apne haath is aurat ko maar kar gande mat kijiye... She is not even worthy of that...
The police arrived, and took Tanveer with them.
Asad hugged Ayaan, a thank you in his now heartless, lifeless form, and went into his room.
Zoya was about to go after him, but Dilshaad stopped her. Kuchh waqt do use, Zoya she said...
Zoya agreed.
Everyone retired to their room after clearing the mess.
No one could sleep that night... How could they?
Suddenly, Zoya heard, some noises from Asad's room. He was breaking stuff... She tried to get him to open the door, but he wouldn't.
Najma asked Dilshaad, if they should go downstairs, but Dilshaad told her not to. She knew, Zoya could handle her son. She told Najma, that we should be thankful to Zoya for showing us Tanveer's true colours. And, we should be thankful to Allah for giving us the opportunity for it.
Zoya, yelled from outside the door... Mr Khan, I am not going to go away from here till you open the door...
Asad did not budge. Zoya could hear him still breaking things... yelling... boxing... She knew, he was angry, hurt... but she could not let him be like that. She kept knocking his door persistently.
After sometime, Asad opened the door...
But he did not even look at Zoya. He raced right ahead to Tanveer's room, and dragged each of her belongings to the terrace.
Mr. Khan, What are you doing? Please stop... Zoya said.
Dont stop me Zoya...Dont stop me... Asad cried.
He made a huge pyre with all of Tanveer's belongings, and burnt them. As he watched the fire burn her belongings, he felt this fire consume him too. He closed his eyes as he recollected the several times he had hurt Zoya because of her. How he had not trusted her when she tried to show him her true colors... He also remembered the night of his Nikaah when Zoya blamed Tanveer for scheming the whole kidnapping, and how he almost raised his hand to stop her... Tears kept rolling from his eyes... and he was cursing himself over and over again for everything... He was so angry, that he stretched out his hand, into the fire to punish himself.
Zoya was seeing a different man today. She had never seen Asad so consumed by fury ever. Not even when he slapped her in anger at the hospital... She always knew that Asad being emotionally challenged could never really express his feelings,so he always did something like that, almost impulsively. How he broke the phone, the other day, was an example of it. But now she saw a different man. Heart broken, guilt ridden and angry at the same time... She wanted to give him the space to recover the betrayal. But she could not take it longer...She came forward and pulled his hand away and kissed it.
Asad jerked her away... I don't deserve this Zoya... I don't deserve you... Please leave me and go away...
She was taken aback but knew he was probably angry at himself more than anyone else.
Mr.Khan, why are you doing this. Do you realize that you are hurting me when you say this? She asked as he made him sit and placed a palm on his shoulder. She sat across from him, held his hands tightly, as reassuringly as she could... and said...Why are you saying this Mr. Khan... You know, I love you..
A lone tear trickled down Asad's eye as he heard that... But I don't deserve your love Zoya. As much as I tried to be different than my Abu, I ended up not trusting my love enough for an outsider. What is the difference between him and me... Why could not I see all this earlier?
Mr. Khan... because you are not at fault. All you did was trust your friend. Galti Tanveer ki hai Mr.Khan...
No Zoya... the mistake may be Tanveer's but I am a sinner. Main tumhara gunahgaar hoon Zoya. If I had not trusted you and made this plan with you, or if you had not left us already on the day of the Nikaah, Allah jaane what she would have done to you. She tried to kill you... Because of me you were in danger Zoya... How can I forgive myself? How many days did you end up fighting that evil woman yourself... I was not even by your side, Zoya... Main tumhare layak nahi hoon Zoya...He broke down as he could not say anything further.
Zoya took him in her arms, and let him cry. She knew he needed this vent. It was not about Tanveer. It was about trust, after all.She knew how much he needed to let go of these pent up emotions, to be able to trust again... that she let him just be.
After sometime, she wiped his tears with her hands, as she herself choked on hers...
Mr.Khan... Aap mujhse kitna pyaar karte hain?
Apni zindagi se bhi zyaada Zoya... he said...
Then listen to me. If Tanveer hurt me, she also hurt you.
Gham ka khazaana tera bhi hai mera bhi...
Ye nazraana tera bhi hai mera bhi... she hummed... just to cheer him up.
Asad gave his half smile, and looked at Zoya...
Jagjit Singh, your favorite singer, right?
Like a baby who was being pampered, Asad nodded his head and smiled one more time...
And you thought I can only do my trademark shayri? She smiled...
Asad was already feeling lighter, because he saw her smile. He was amazed at her strength at times. After all this is what drew him to her. No matter how harsh life had been to her... she never lost the smile on her lips or the sparkle in her eyes. Who could look at her and guess, what she had been through, just a few hours ago... he wondered.
Mr. Khan, I was never alone. I knew you had not trusted me earlier, but at that time, what were you sure of? Neither your feelings nor mine...And, I know how much you valued your friendship with Tanveer... So it was only natural for you to demand proofs for my accusations. Thank God, Ayaan told me that you had also tried to get some yourself... because otherwise, I would have never gotten the confidence to plan all of this. So, somewhere Mr. Khan, you did listen to your heart, and trust me... What are you blaming yourself for?
For hurting you Zoya... he said.
Mr.Khan, if you love me, please dont punish yourself like this. Whatever Tanveer did, we both suffered, but we should not let it affect our future. Mujhe apne pyaar pe aur aap pe pura yaqeen hai. Ab dekhna ye hai ki aap mujhpe aur mere yaqeen pe kitna yaqeen karte hain...
Asad felt a strange confidence as he heard Zoya say that she trusted him...
Safar lamba hai Mr. Khan... Aur pehla kadam wo suit tha... Yaad hai?
Asad nodded.
Aur dusra kadam aaj maine badhaya hai.
Kya aap mera saath denge Mr. Khan?
She held her hand out to him... and he held it, in approval.
Mr. Khan... Aapke paas do raste hain. Ek wo jo ye saabit karega ki aap thik hain, aur main galat. Asad looked at her puzzled... Yes, Mr. Khan, you can either prove your gut right that you are not worthy of love, or my trust right.. that no one is more worthy of it than you. The choice is yours.
But if you ask me, I will just tell you don't rob me of my biggest happiness... and my happiness is with you, Mr. Khan...
Asad placed his hand on her hand. He couldn't say anything. His tears spoke for him. But he was smiling. Smiling at this woman's ability to pull him up from his deepest dungeons. Truly so, one does not fall in love. One rises in love. His heart knew, he wanted to prove Zoya right. He wanted to free himself from this guilt, this agony, this mistrust that he had been living with all his life. He wanted to liberate himself, and his heart. Zoya had broken the wall around his heart brick by brick, and today, these words of hers, had ensured that the entire wall had collapsed... By loving him when he most needed it... By trusting him, more than himself, and by being with him when he least deserved it, Zoya had given him a new lease of life... A new desire to love... and live...
He just hugged her back, silently... and both Asad and Zoya got lost, peacefully, in each other's emrbace...as a meteor shower graced the sky...
Mr.Khan... Zoya jumped in excitement. Meteor Shower...
Aap kya mangenge, Mr. Khan, she asked batting her eyelids like a kid?
Awe... melted Asad's heart. This was the Zoya I fell in love with! He swooned. Kuchh nahi.. he said... Mujhe jo chahiye tha, wo maine pichhli baar hi maang liya tha... Aur khuda ne meri dua qubool bhi kar di hai Zoya...
Zoya looked at him, and asked, What?
Remember, what I wished for that night? He asked?
Zoya remembered what they had wished upon each other, and smiled...
I asked for a wish... Zoya... I asked for a wish, and you came true...
He gently kissed her hands, and then her forehead, and hugged her...
And, now, I don't need anything else...
The end...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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