The Blooming of a Primrose
But now that I look back at those pictures, that signed field day "Green Team" shirt, smell that favorite perfume from a billion years ago, and try on my old track pants only to see that I've gained more than just the Freshman 15, I realize that even though I've lived through some of the worst moments of life while in high school, almost all of the my most cherished ones also came from high school. The bonds I've formed and the lessons I've learned that will stay with me forever came from high school.
Excuse me while I go wipe my nostalgic tears.
April 2012. One year ago.
I can't suck it up any longer. These past four years have been enough, I can't continue this facade of indifference any longer. Even looking at him hurts. Physically stabbing me would have hurt less than his eyes penetrating through the weakened walls of my heart. Why can't I just "undo" him out of my life? I wish I had never met him.
Please just make the pain stop!
But I don't know how much longer I'll be able to guard this self-respect, my biggest weapon and target of destruction.
I don't want to give that sadist the pleasure of knowing he won and more importantly, that I lost. I'd much rather die. But bottling it all up is killing me from within, I don't even think I can feel anymore.
His poisonous love destroyed everything leaving just pain, and fortunately for him, lots of it.
I just hope if god's listening to me, if he can hear me, if he exists, just please, please I beg of him just make it stop.
I don't want this suicidal emotion in me, please god I don't want to be affected by him, I don't want to hurt, I don't want to love him god, please, JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!
I have it planned out- Smile, nod, and verbally agree.
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A/N: Please excuse the jumps between time periods. I will write the time period before each passage but I want to portray the story, the events, and most importantly the emotions in an order that made sense to me as a storyteller, rather than chronological order.
It's not my best work but I'm just trying to write something that I really connect with.
I hope you liked it.
-Shweta