Smitar's OS 2:Finding Khushi#2Part13(1)Pg132(23/3) - Page 57

Originally posted by: nightfury

wen u updating ??😃

Smita,😊

Here is my interpretation to Section 1 of Part 12.

Arnav Singh Raizada who had entered Khushi's office observed that Khushi was engrossed in her work. She was even oblivious to the sky darkening with ominous clouds that herald a downpour. Neither the breeze entering the room through the window, making her dupatta, dance to its tune nor Arnav's eager eyes drinking in the beauty, wavered her concentration from her work. After waiting for her to look up which was in vain, Arnav decided to call out her name. Hearing her name and his voice Khushi was startled. Recovering quickly she went near him and they stared at each other, both taking in and storing all the details. Breaking the eye-lock he said to her that she had asked him what he wanted from life. Khushi sighing soundlessly said that she didn't want to know anything as it was not a matter of concern to her. It was his life and he was the one who made his destiny. What he wanted from it was exclusively his problem and not hers. His girlfriends were his headache not hers. She turned her face dismissing him from her vision.

Arnav Singh Raizada who hated when people turned their face from him while he spoke had to swallow what was being dished out by Khushi as he knew that, he was being meted with the same treatment that he used to give her. It was justified. Arnav swallowed and continued to speak as though she never interrupted. He said in a soft voice that he may not know what he wanted but he does know what he doesn't want.

Despite the professed lack of interest, Khushi was piqued and looked at him. He said that he doesn't want his mother's life, to love someone, to believe in him and then to find out that he was involved in a clandestine affair with another woman. His voice choked saying it. Khushi was shaken to the core. Whatever she had thought of was nothing to what he was narrating. The reality was worse than she could have imagined. He continued to say that his mother found about the betrayal on his Di's wedding day and shot herself with his dad's pistol. That was not the life or the end that he wants. Looking into her shocked eyes he said that his mother had committed suicide. He turned his head away to hide his emotions from her.

The loud intake of breath in a silent room made Arnav aware that Khushi was shocked to hear his story. He further continued to say that his Di's wedding was called off. Khushi felt a lone tear slowly coursing down her cheek. With a tired, run down voice he said two hours later, his father had shot himself with the same pistol.

Arnav who had to bear the brunt of it, was tired of trying to rise above these memories, that never allowed him to be at peace. Slowly another tear coursed through her cheek. Arnav told her that his parents were cremated together and taking a deep breath he informed her that the next day his uncle had thrown them to streets. For Khushi it was a shock. It was not at all what she had expected. He told her that his Nani and Mamaji took them under their care and at that time he was 14 and his Di 18. It was then that he had changed his name from Malik to Raizada, severing all ties with his father's family. He stood looking out through the window, watching the drizzle. A storm in him was in full rage. He heart was crying inside. Khushi who listened to his story too felt her heart flood with pain and she felt for these siblings for all that they had to face. Not just becoming orphans but along with it facing a scandal and losing their home. They had lost everything familiar and overnight their life had turned from fun and laughter into murky and lonely. When Khushi expressed her sympathy for them having such a terrible childhood, Arnav accepted it as he knew what he and his Di underwent could only be fathomed by Khushi who was still smaller when she had her world turned upside down. She would now understand his loneliness, his nightmares and his need to run away from her. It was the fear to love and lose it and make him vulnerable to hurt just as his mother had been that was driving him from developing any bonds in his life. While they were battling the emotional storm, it started to rain cats and dogs. The winds were lashing making raindrops pelt on the window panes while the two stood silent in the darkening room each engrossed in their thoughts.

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy"

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

After a long time Khushi asked Arnav why did his father commit suicide. Arnav frowned at her line of questioning. She explained that if he had not loved his mother, why would he commit suicide two hours after she died? Khushi was confused with what he had told her. Seeing her genuine confusion, he bit back a bitter retort that was on the tip of his tongue. She started to explain to him her thought process and asking him not to mind her butting in with questions that she feels that needed to be addressed she said if she were his fatherand paused worriedly to check his reaction.

Arnav with a slight movement of his head indicated that he was all ears to listen to her explanation. He had given his permission unconsciously to probe into his past. His heart was filled with joy at Khushi unconsciously calling him Arnavji in a soft sweet voice and not the indifferent Mr. Raizada. She told him that if she were his father and had a wife and two children and still fell in love with another woman and wife on getting to know this killed herself, she would continue to live as a widower and then marry her lover. Khushi's voice petered out to see how he took what she was saying. Arnav said that he thought his father may have felt guilty. Continuing her explanation she told him that if he had felt guilty then he had to be in love with his wife in the first place. He should have loved her deeply to feel that he did not want to live when she had left him. It must have been a deep love that made him blind towards everything except the fact that his wife was no more with him. Neither his children nor his lover which she felt was dubious was sufficient to make him live. She put forth her thoughts in front of him in a soft voice which his keen ears picked very eagerly.

Her thoughts brought in a ray of hope in his heart and that too after a period of 14 years. He told her that he had heard them quarrelling. He had heard his mother accusing his father and had told that she had seen them together at his Di's wedding. Arnav wondered aloud would his father invite his lover to his house on his daughter's wedding day. Khushi continued his thought process and finished it for him saying in a whisper that maybe his mother misunderstood the situation. Maybe his father was innocent.

Seeing what her thoughts had led him into she found hope making its appearance. The rain that was pelting outside was quenching the thirst of the Mother Earth. Thoughts put in by Khushi were flooding him and bringing him some relief with it as there was a possibility to reverse what had been the judgement all along! He was seeing the entire situation in a new light. Khushi interrupted his thoughts and said that she had no right to tell him but when a thought sprouts in her head she just can't keep quiet. She sought his permission to continue. He was amused by what she said and he asked her, when has that ever stopped her from voicing her opinion and waited for her to continue. Collecting her thoughts she said that there were three characters in this story and of them two , his parents are no more to answer his queries but the third person the supposed other lady may be alive. Hearing her analysis of the situation his eyes widened with surprise. She continued to say that he was Arnav Singh Raizada, the one bestowed with Imperial Powers, who could summon people at his beck and call as she had been given to understand. She asked him to use his power and locate the other woman. Her suggestion was like Manna to a hungry traveler. He looked at her and amid the pitter patter of the rain drops, she raised her voice a bit and asked him would not knowing the truth better than ignorance. Arnav agreed and she asked him, wouldn't it be better to know the truth, if he had been nurturing hate towards his father for fourteen years, for a crime that he may have not even committed. Khushi felt a lump in her throat at such a thought being reality and Arnav shut his eyes in pain seeing now that it might have been a possibility. He turned to walk away. At the door he halted and looking at her with moistened eyes he thanked her sending Khushi into a shocked tizzy. She couldn't believe that she was hearing correctly and it made her ask him as to what it was he said. Seeing her in a flurry, Arnav flashed a smile and repeated his thanks. In a daze Khushi blurted out that she had thought that it was her imagination playing tricks on her. This made him give a dazzling smile. With a reciprocating lovely smile on, she added that she couldn't imagine Arnav Singh Raizada thanking her for scolding him! Addressing her favorite deity Devi Maiyya, she said that Her miracles were beyond her capacity of understanding. Arnav was grinning as he walked out of her work place.

This is an update that is full of POINTERS.

First, we see Arnav Singh Raizada, coming to meet Khushi Kumari Gupta even after the dressing down he got from her. This is a pointer that showed that whatever she had told him had gone home and was taken in the right spirit.

It was also a pointer to the feelings that Arnav harbours towards Khushi.

It's a clue to the changed stance of his towards life.

It's an indicator that showed that he has overcome his ego and is willing to give his heart a chance.

"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge"

~ Eckhart Tolle

We see Arnav opening up to Khushi to let her have a peek into what has made Arnav into ASR. He tells her about his gory past and lets her in, to have a glimpse of the weight that he had been carrying within himself since he was fourteen years of age.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present"

~ Bill Keane

He readily shared his insecurity concerning his past with her.

He readily shared the secret, the family shame that had befallen on them in the past, as perceived,

He brought out the skeleton in their cupboard.

It's all a pointer to the trust that he has placed in her.

"Loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to."

~ Julianne Moor

When he narrates about how their life got wrecked by his father's infidelity, she points out that may not be the case.

Khushi gives a clue with her thought that what his mother saw may not be the truth and she may have misunderstood the situation.

"Most of the trouble in life comes from misunderstanding, I think,' said Anne"

~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

She substantiates her views and makes him realize that what they had perceived to be the truth all these years about his father's clandestine affair may not be the truth. She substantiates it with a pointer on his suicide.

Khushi further gives him an indicator as to how to proceed to set his mind at rest.

"When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope"

~ Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four

Hearing her logical explanation and the way she clinically analyzed facts never taking anything for granted, but everything she said being based on whatever he said only made Arnav Singh Raizada thank Khushi Kumari Gupta. It was a pointer by itself.

He known for his acute business acumen and cut deals foreseeing things where others had never let their thoughts drift on to, acknowledged that Khushi Kumari Gupta along with scathing tongue when in need, possessed sharp brains and a beauty unparalleled in his eyes. It was a lethal combination that he found hard to resist. It was also a pointer towards how his views on her coming from middle class and of having no status in the society had changed. He had climbed down from his hoity-toity upper echelon behavior and had come to savor her simple, meaningful company.

"The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind"

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

It was also a pointer to Khushi Kumari Gupta, that things that she had assumed about the Raizada siblings were not true. They never had things given on a silver platter for them. It was his sheer hard work that had earned all that he now possessed.

"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in"

~ Isaac Asimov

It was a clue to her as to why Arnav ran away from relationships other than with his family.

It was an indicator to her that under the hard exterior there lies a very insecure person.

"The hallmark of insecurity is bravado"

~ Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings

It was a tip to her that showed even she who claimed to be indifferent to his overtures was in fact never so. She who had told him that she was indifferent to his woes took all the trouble to analyze the facts and throw light on the fact that there may be a different take on the past incidents. This act of hers indicated that she was not indifferent to him and his emotions but was very much attuned to it. It brought to him a hope and a spring in his step.

"You can't be neutral on a moving train"

~ Howard Zinn

That's why this I call as POINTER

"Sometimes you can't let go of the past without facing it again"

~ Gail Tsukiyama, The Samurai's Garden

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it!