All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what one leaves behind is a part of themselves. They must die to one life before they can enter another. And it was the flaming ashes of that life, the old life, which Khushi felt as she looked at Anjali, who seemed so lost in the fire that there was no coming back.
"How was your journey?" Anjali asked, breaking the silence. "I heard on the news there was a really bad traffic jam."
Khushi nodded, not being able to will her mouth to answer. So far she was merely caught off guard with the changes the Raizada clan appeared to have undergone in her absence, but that was nothing compared what her eyes were seeing now.
Anjali – the sweet lady who told her to step into the house with her right foot instead of the left all those months ago no longer dressed in the elegnant, and indefinitely expensive saris. No, the saris were replaced by cotton churidars that barely contained any embroidery. The mangalsutra, which never departed her neck, was missing and so was the sindoor andbindi. Except for the studs on her ears, there wasn't a single piece of jewellery covering her. The long locks which innocently used framed her face were brushed back into a tight ponytail as if there was no room for chance anymore; No room for trials and tribulations.
It was as if comforts of the Raizada mansion were a stranger to its most loved dweller.
"Well I am glad you made it on time," Anjali continued, not at all affected for the rather awkward quiet emanating from Khushi. "I don't think Varun would ever forgive Chote if he missed his birthday!"
The listening audience smiled at that comment, no doubt in agreement. And it was then that Khushi really knew what was missing.
It was life.
While every single person present in that room had eyes that responded, eyes that showed their emotions, Anjali's were completely blank, devoid of everything and anything. It was as if there was nothing inside her.
The smile plastered on her lips, didn't translate into joy. She stood so straight that it was a miracle she was not a statue frozen in time. Her muscles never fatigued from putting up an expressionless face. Even her shoulders didn't droop with just plain tiredness.
It was as if she wasn't human anymore.
"Anjali, what colour balloons do you want?"
Khushi turned around to see a man in his late twenties enter the hall. Having hazel-coloured eyes, and chocolate brown hair, he appeared quite handsome in the lavish settings of Shantivaan.
"Blue," Anjali answered. "I think that's the closest to black, right?"
The man laughed, his baritone voice echoing throughout the house. "We can get black balloons if you want. I mean it is his birthday and Varun's tastes seem to be an exact replica of his Uncle's!"
"It's red," Khushi interrupted quietly. "Red is Arnavji's favourite colour. Not black."
The man turned around, startled to hear the new voice. "I am guessing you are family. It's not everyday that people know the angry-young-man's likes and dislikes correctly."
"I'm guessing that you are not new to this family since you seem to know exactly who I am talking about."
"And you are both right," Anjali said. "Karan this is Khushiji, Payal's sister and Khushiji, this is Karan, Arnav's client for almost a year now. He was kind enough to help out with Varun's birthday party."
Khushi smiled. "Hi," she greeted. "Nice to meet you."
But before Karan could return the compliment, the doors opened to reveal an agitated Ayesha.
"Ayesh!" Khushi called, relief spreading quickly through her rather frayed mind. "Where the hell were you?"
"Stupid Mittal," Ayesha answered, walking in. "He wants to increase the price of the sequins we ordered for the bridal. I mean come on – twenty grand for some lame gems that are supposed to look real, but are not?"
"Twenty grand?! That's a lot!"
"I know! We can make a whole new outfit with that… a cheap one, but-"
"Still! We should just choose someone else."
"Agreed! And I am going to make sure we are his last customers. Do you know how rude he was on the phone with me?"
Khushi's eyes widened. "Rude with you? The Ayesha Kapoor?!"
"Yes! Rude with me! I swear I am not going rest until I teach him a lesson. How dare he give me a warning about the payment? If it wasn't for me, his company wouldn't have even started."
"Remember when he was begging you to sign the contract all those months ago?"
"Yes! Men, I tell you – completely useless and ungrateful!"
"As if you didn't know that already."
Ayesha paused. "My my my… Khushi supporting me today?"
"Shut-up! I always support you!"
"You better missy – You don't want to be on my bad side."
"Bad side? I am your only side!"
"Yeah yeah… whatever!"
Khushi laughed, her heart feeling light-hearted for the first time that day. Feeling the nervousness inside her disappear as she began to understand the reason for all the shocking differences she witnessed since that morning.
It wasn't that people changed in the last two years, it was that she had. She was no longer the gullible Khushi who accepted every turn in life as a blessing. No, she was different. While she definitely missed her family, she didn't feel the pull towards them anymore. She didn't feel the attachment that drove her extreme lengths. It was as if they were just people, and not the strings holding her entire being together.
So, there was no point being nervous anymore, trying to find comfort with the family, the people she once called own, simply because she didn't care. And trying to care, trying to bring back the old self, the old Khushi was almost as like forcing a living person in a coffin. Only, it was much worse than suffocation.
And it was as these thought struck, that Khushi understood why Anjali's face, though pitiful, seemed so familiar. Like her, even she was gone to a point from where there was no coming back.
"Oops!" Khushi said suddenly, noticing the curious gazes of the Raizada family, all of who were watching her as if she was foreign. "I forgot to introduce you."
And grabbing Ayesha's hand, she dragged her into the hall.
"This is Jiji, Jeejaji, Anjali Di, Karanji and you know Laad Go- I mean Arnavji."
Ayesha smiled, wanting to greet the family she didn't want to meet when her eyes fell on the Karan, who was calmly watching the entire conversation. And suddenly she couldn't think anymore, for her thoughts were flying far from her mind and the only thing she could register was the sound of her beating heart.
"Uhh… Ayesha?"
Ayesha blinked, trying to shake the butterflies creeping through her.
"Are you listening?" Khushi asked, confused at her best friend's odd behaviour.
Ayesha forcefully turned away, trying miserably to stop her eyes from glancing at the handsome sight. "Erm… yeah. Yeah, I am here."
Though not convinced, Khushi didn't press the matter. She turned back to the still silent family and said, "And this is Ayesha, the one without who I wouldn't be…"
"Here," finished Arnav, who knew that there was no way she could've finished the sentence in one word. "Without who she wouldn't be here today."
Khushi stared at Arnav surprised to hear his response.
Payal on the other hand watched her younger sister carefully, not missing the look of relief evident on her face; the relief, which made it's appearance after the entrance of the stranger. The smile that became visible on her soft features as she introduced her, as if she meant the world. And suddenly, fear began to creep through her, as she understood exactly what had happened.
She had been replaced.
"Nice to meet you guys," Ayesha said, when no one spoke. "The famousRaizadas."
It was Karan who answered. "Correction Ms. Ayesha. I am not a Raizada."
"Correction Mr. Karan – I am just Ayesha."
Karan laughed. "Okay fine. Nice to meet you Ayesha."
"The pleasure is all mine!"
"And I would suggest you to be careful around her Karan," Arnav said, catching the shy glances being passed. "She sure as hell knows how to take a payback, should you ever get on her bad side."
Ayesha rolled her eyes. "And I would suggest you stay away from Arnav, Karan. He sure as hell knows how to exaggerate things!"
"And I would suggest you both to shut-up," Khushi chimed in. "Because we get it that you are the best of buds."
"And I would suggest you three to stop talking," Karan added. "If you want the looks to stop."
Arnav, Khushi and Ayesha turned to see Payal, Akash and Anjali watching them with apprehensive looks. They didn't understand the drastic changes. Or rather, didn't want to.
Fortunately, Devyani appeared once again. "Food is ready. Come and eat Betiya!"
Khushi nodded and began walking towards the dining area, when-
"Are you not going to eat?"
It was Ayesha, asking Karan, who didn't appear to have moved.
"No, no," he replied. "I have to get those balloons. You go ahead."
And though disappointed, Ayesha had no choice but to follow Khushi to the dining table, where she was acquainted with the remaining members of the household.
* * *
"What? There are no rooms?"
Payal nodded apologetically. "We didn't know you were bringing your friend along… so we are out of available rooms."
"Me and Ayesha can share a room," Khushi replied. "It's not a big deal."
"You don't understand… both of the guest bedrooms are under renovation."
"And what about the third one?"
"Arnavji turned that into Varun's bedroom."
Khushi slumped down on the couch, seeing no solution to the problem at hand. It seemed that the heavens were going out of their way to make her day difficult. Just as she finally accepted the rather uneasy atmosphere ofShantivaan, a worried Payal and Devyani appeared to inform her that there were no rooms in the house for her stay.
"Where were you planning to let Khushi stay, if I didn't come?" asked Ayesha, who had until then, patiently listened to the conversation.
"She was going to sleep in Dadiji's room," Payal answered. "But there isn't room for both of you in there."
Ayesha let out a sigh. "We will stay at a hotel for the night, okay? Problem solved!"
"What?!" Payal objected. "I am not going to let my sister stay at a hotel while I am alive!"
"Then why don't you come up with a better solution smarty-pants?"
Payal glared at Ayesha, not missing the sarcastic tone. However, before she could give a cutting reply, Devyani interfered.
"How about Ayesha sleeps in my room and Khushi can sleep in Chote's room?"
"WHAT?!" Khushi yelled, not at all happy with the sudden change in the conversation. "Hell no!"
"But why?"
"I'm sorry," Khushi said, shaking her head. "But there is no way I am sleeping with Laa- I mean, Arnavji."
Ayesha smirked. "Err - You might want to fix that sentence."
Khushi coloured, while Payal stared disbelievingly at Ayesha, unimpressed with what she deemed as an inappropriate comment.
"I meant," Khushi corrected hastily. "That I am not sharing a room with him. No freaking way!"
"It's not the first time you are sharing," Payal reminded. "What's the problem now?"
"I just can't okay? And why can't Ayesha share with him? I will sleep in Naniji's room as planned!"
"Khushi!"
"Jiji - They are just friends."
But it appeared that Payal wasn't convinced, for she lowered her voice to a whisper and said, "You know Dadiji doesn't like these things. She won't approve of Ayesha sleeping in Arnavji's room!"
"Then how will she approve of me sleeping there? Me and him are not married!"
Payal rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean!"
"So Betiya," Devyani said, pretending to not have heard the conversation between the two sisters. "Are you okay with the new arrangements?"
Khushi's reply was interrupted by the arrival of Hari Prakash.
"Payal Didi," he informed. "Your Amma, Babuji and Buaji are here."
"Babuji is here?!" Khushi exclaimed, almost ashamed at herself for forgetting about her beloved father.
And without even waiting for a reply, she was running out of the room, eager to see the one man she knew would never let her down.
"Wait! What about the rooms?"
"Yeah, it's fine!" Khushi said absentmindedly, for at that moment there was nothing that mattered, because she finally felt at home after two very long years.
And so big was her joy, that she didn't even notice the identical grins on Devyani and Payal's faces.
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