Heroinegiri: True Kahaani of a Heroine

Eight years since she made her way into Bollywood, actor Vidya Balan's impressive rise has silenced critics and won her more friends and admirers than she can count. An unbridled chat with the actress on making the box-office numbers add up, the awards, breaking out of the size zero mould and how she got her mojo back!

After four successive wins at 19th Annual Colors Screen Awards as the Best Actor (Female) for an excellent turn as Vidya Bagchi in suspense drama Kahaani, Vidya Balan can afford to sit back and enjoy her well-deserved success. However, the blissful break — a month that she took off from work — is now drawing to a close as she is back to the drill from February. Not that she is complaining though. In the pipeline this year are Ghanchakkar that has her essay the role of a Punjabi housewife, Shaadi Ke Side Effects opposite Farhan Akhtar and most likely Kahaani 2 with Sujoy Ghosh. Excerpts from an interview with Screen:

Given that the competition was really tough, did you think that you would repeat your win in the best actress category for the fourth year?

* The competition was so strong that I was happy just to be nominated among these people — Priyanka (Chopra), Parineeti (Chopra), Sridevi — they were all so good. It is nice to receive an award. I was hoping I would, but given the competition, you never knew which way it would go. So my attitude was that it's good that I am nominated, I won't think beyond it. But winning again — that was surreal!

Was this win even more special given that Kahaani was an underdog film — director Sujoy Ghosh did not have a hit to his credit when he started the film and from what one has heard, finding a producer was difficult?

* Initially nobody was ready to produce it. The only good thing was that No One Killed Jessica had been made, but it had not released at the time that we started shooting. So no one knew what the prospects of a film like this were. We tried hard to keep it within the budget and are eternally grateful to (Jayantilal) Gada of Pen, who stepped in. Awards and accolades therefore feel wonderful also because Kahaani is very, very special to me. I give my heart and soul to every film, but I have been a part of Kahaani since it was just a one line story. Kahaani was like delivering a child. Sujoy wanted me to do another film with him which didn't work out. He described the film in one line, and I agreed to do it. I told him that I would give my final go-ahead once the script was final, but in principle, it was a yes. After that even if he'd write one scene, he would call and tell me. If he went on a recce, he would come back and show me photographs of the place, so I was involved at every level. I knew who was being spoken to for various aspects of the film and we were both looking for producers together. The entire shooting was done on a shoestring budget with no space for the luxury of a holiday. We shot for 64 days at a stretch. Only Diwali day was off. Sujoy and I were working in tandem. He was the producer as well as director and that I think is very very taxing and demanding, but not once did he let us feel the pinch. He was laughing, cracking jokes, jumping around — nothing that would suggest that he was undergoing any kind of stress.

And then the Friday blues — the film opened earlier in the week because of Holi — how was it when Kahaani released and the numbers were yet to add up?

* On the first day, it opened abysmally low at just Rs 2.5 crore. Exactly one night before, we had a screening just for family and friends who are not from the film industry because we were very scared. The next day, Siddharth (Roy Kapur) was talking to someone from the industry who I overheard saying it would do a business of Rs 25 crore. I had an inkling of what the conversation was about so I asked Siddharth about it. And he said, 'what do you think?' I said it would be Rs 65 crore. He must have thought I was crazy because first day was only Rs 2.5 crore. Luckily, the next day's jump was more than double, and it just kept doubling and we actually ended up at Rs 60 crore. So for an experience like this, whether it was for the story or editing or the award I got, it was the cherry on the cake. Everything had gone through beautifully. When we got nominated, we cheered as though we had won the award already.

Go on...

* Someone asked me if there was a pressure that you needed to win this award. I was hoping that I get it because it is appreciation — 40 or 50 years down the line when I have no memory of what I have done, these things will remind me. It's a tangible form of appreciation at a time when I may even have forgotten the compliments that have come my way. I don't let it be a pressure because I am not trying to repeat anything here

You won your first award for being the most promising newcomer for Parineeta and then things went awry. In hindsight, where did you go wrong?

* Parineeta was like a dream — I was living a dream for a year after that, then Lage Raho Munnabhai happened and again it was the biggest success that year. After that I did go through that wanting-to-adhere-to-the-norm phase because I had only appreciation coming my way. No one ever criticised me for my role in Munnabhai, but there was nothing defining as an actor except that the greeting 'Good morning Mumbai' captured everybody's imagination. I went along with the flow thinking that maybe it was because I was still not playing the stereotypical heroine. I was wanting to do those typically Hindi film heroine songs, the sarson ke khet mein variety. So Heyy Babyy and Kismat Konnection was a small attempt at that. There was nothing wrong with those films — it was me in those films. It was a certain cockiness on my part — that I thought that those roles required me to sleepwalk through them because I had the appreciation as an actor. And I was sadly mistaken because every thing you do on screen, even if you are sleeping, has to be done convincingly. You can't do it, thinking — arrey, kisiko kya pata chalega?

And after that the surge of criticism, how did you land on your feet?

* Some people manage to fit in, but I was sticking out like a sore thumb. There was criticism about the clothes, there was criticism about Heyy Babyy and pretty much everything. Then at a nail parlour, one stranger came up to me and said, 'There's only one of you, so why are you trying to be someone else?' At that time it was difficult to digest, but it was the biggest lesson I learnt — that I was trying too hard to fit in.

During that phase, I had a lot of definitive conversations, and one was with my brother-in-law. I was very down and out because I thought I had made it, and then everything was completely slipping out of my hands.

He asked me, 'Why have you joined films?'

And I said, 'I want to live different people's lives on screen.'

I told him that I was not comfortable if I didn't have a character to play — I was probably justifying myself, but it also helped me clarify what I really wanted to do. And the moment I liberated myself from the pressure of fitting in, scripts just started pouring in. Paa happened, an Ishqiya happened, The Dirty Picture, No One Killed Jessica and Kahaani happened. So I needed to free myself from that pressure to fit in.

And having come this far, would you say you have greater expectations of the roles being offered because you will not accept a run-of-the-mill part?

* After No One Killed Jessica, a senior actress told me, 'Now you have tasted blood — the high of completely submitting to another person'. I still don't claim to be able to do that, but it's a little more each time when you get to being that other person a little more truly. The fact that I am going to get to know and live like that person, gets me going. At the end of every film, I feel sad that I am not going to know the person anymore.

So expectation in that sense — of well defined roles is a good thing. I have been fortunate to have worked on some very good scripts with very good directors. Directors who have helped me challenge myself. I like playing other people. I can't play myself all the time, which is why I no longer work in films like Kismat Konnection and Heyy Babyy that are not well defined. I am that kind of an actor, who needs complete fleshing out of the character to be that other person. Luckily, it is the golden phase of Indian cinema, especially for the Hindi film heroine with a wide variety of roles and the fact that people are willing to make and watch such films.

Does this period that you describe as the golden phase, especially for heroines, allow better opportunities vis-a-vis married actresses?

* I should think so. If you are just being viewed as an object of desire, then getting married could probably make you lose your desirability, but I think the fact that a woman is no longer just a wife after marriage has changed that to a degree. For the longest time, she ceased to be anything but a wife, but today we see women around us to whom being a wife or mother are just one of the many roles they play. Women have been humanised in recent times (in cinema) so you are not just glorifying or vilifying them. There is an in-between. There are real women with real concerns over various issues.

For instance, there are so many women who identify with Shashi of English Vinglish. I think it is the time of Goddess power; the time for that balance to be struck and therefore for a while, women will dominate because for centuries, we have been dominated and now it's time for us to do the same. (laughs)

It's been a happy transition then, from the girl-next-door to a housewife in Ghanchakkar?

* Yes, now finally, I have tried my hand at comedy. I enjoyed playing this one-of-a-kind woman.Ghanchakkar is totally different from your regular comedies. Or slapstick. It's a bit quirky, yet it's got that mass connect. She is a hatti-katti Punjabi woman, who thinks she knows it all — about food, about clothing. She revels in her individuality and is very unapologetic about being over the top because she does not know any better. I have played over the top with Silk, but Silk was OTT in terms of her sexuality. This one is ki her life revolves around her and her husband, so it's khaana and more khaana.

Few heroines dare to go the hatti-katti way as you have done for the part your are playing. How difficult is it, for an actress in particular, to not cave in under the pressure of maintaining unrealistic vital statistics?

* I came into the industry a woman — both in terms of age and the character I was playing. I do hope women become more accepting of their bodies, because a large part of our self-esteem derives from the perception of our bodies. Again, it is very liberating to realise that how you feel about yourself has very little to do with your body shape. The Dirty Picture really helped me to figure that out. I have a body type and I am never going to be skinny, and I am fine with that.

As an actor, I have to use my body as a tool to look the part, but I don't worry beyond that. I enjoy being in my own skin when I am not being in someone else's. I had just started working out to lose the weight, but Rajkumar (Gupta) told me that he wanted the character to be a little plump; the sort jo exercise karke phir ghar aa ke khaayegi. Usko lagta hai exercise toh kar liya, now I can eat.

PROLOGUE

Late 1950s, Kolkata

A very attractive woman in her early 20s loses her husband.
He was all she had, apart from her three children. Her world started and ended with him.
Now she has no one.

She has no idea how to survive without him, how to look after their children.
The outside world is completely alien to her.
She has no skills to survive in that world.

She does not even know how to read or write.
The easiest option is to abandon the children and start afresh

She starts afresh. She rewrites the obvious story.
She teaches herself to read and write.
She goes out and gets a basic job. And when one job is not enough, she gets more.
She does not give up.
She works every living moment of her life to build a life for her children.
To make sure they don't go through what she went through. She teaches herself every skill needed to survive and protect her children.

She is a mother.
That's her job description.
She is the closest you will ever get to god.

CUT TO

Long time back, can't remember when, Mumbai

I see this song on television. There is a very simple looking girl in the video.
She looks really nice when she wears a saree.

CUT TO

Late 2007, Mumbai

Have just wrapped the shoot of ALADIN. I get a call. The man on the other side introduces himself as Prosenjit Chatterjee. Otherwise known as the Bengali Film Industry. Most know him as 'Bumba da'.

I stand up in respect. Even you would if you knew his contribution to Bengali cinema.

CUT TO

A month later, KOLKATA

I meet Bumbada for the first time in his make-up van.

He is shooting for some four films at the same time. I am not sure if he has slept in the last few years but he greets me with a smile the size of Howrah Bridge' and I still remember what he said to me ' and he was meeting me for the very first time ' "Dyakh babu aami toh onek din korlam, ebaar torah kichu kor'"

I don't know how to translate the emotion in that sentence and I won't even attempt to. But what it contained was a request from him for me to do something.

But that one sentence welcomed me back home to Kolkata' and reminded me of my responsibilities.

Bumbada was convinced about the Bengali Film Industry. The talent, according to him, was at par with that anywhere else in the country.

He wanted to put Kolkata on the national map. He wanted me to make a film in Kolkata.

I wasn't very sure what to make. I told him about this idea I had: A pregnant woman, who has to survive in Kolkata.

"Make it'I will give you all the support you need'" he said.

I think he could see the obvious hesitation on my face. He laughed. "Don't worry if there is no role for me'making that film is more important for me'make the film."

I told him I would work on the story.

But first I needed to get someone to agree..

The Story of 'Kahaani' ' Part 2