Why Anandi is People Pleaser ?

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Anandi is People Pleaser ..because of

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Tuttifrutti thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1
Anandi has always stepped in make others happy...everyone can count on her for a favour. Sekhars ,Singhs and even their servants are fighting over her for her being nice.
But the reality in the life is that the intense need to please and care for others is deeply rooted in either a fear of rejection and/or fear of failure.
She is married to Shiv..she wants to make him happy..definitely from inner end,she is neglecting herself and will be loser.
Her character kept on changing recently.
What you think she is people pleaser?

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Shinya thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
Bhach she has low self esteem. So pleasing people she feels better about herself. She feels if she doesnt, she will be rejected.
Edited by Shinya - 12 years ago
divine_ram thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3
Only with shiv is open about her inner self. Otherwise she would have already consummated her marriage to please him. So I think all these years she pleased others to make th happy never thought about her desires in life. it's only with shiv she is not giving herself to please him. This is possible only bcos of shiv understanding her like no one did till now. The main reason she married him rejecting jagya as she is herself completely with him which she never was with adult jagya. All the options r false as anandi is good by nature who always put her need after others. she is never afraid of rejection or failure from others except marriage. Not in other aspects.
bips54321 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Shinya

Bhach she has low self esteem. So pleasing people she feels better about herself. She feels if she doesnt, she will be rejected.


Its so bad she was not like this as a child. I stronglyl feel anandi should go to city for an year or two then return to village. I am not saying to stay forever in city. Few time there will completely uproot her deep seated insecured mentality
731627 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#5
really doosron ko khush karna bhi apradh hai i dont know
GoodDoc_2105 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#6
Fruityjee

Only few days ago people were complaining how uncaring she is towards her sasuralwale and now she addressed their insecurities and made them happy she is being asked why she wants to make people happy

When she was happy to go back to Jaitser because being in Jitser made her happy people complained

When she was unhappy because the Singhs are unhappy they complained for being too much involved with Singhs happiness

When she comes up with a plan to make both the families happy and succeeds in her plan then also she has a problem.

When will she ever be regarded as someone who simply likes to keep people around her happy just because she likes to have happy smiling faces of her loved ones around her?

As for your question about fear of rejection and fear of failure?

Just put your self in that little girl's place where she was told by her parents that her home is not her home any more she has to make a home for herself at a different place with people who are total strangers to her and she has to be a good girl to be liked by them.
And try to remember what all that little girl had to undergo to make herself loveable to her new family.All the rights that every child has have been taken away from her.All the things that are her by rights she had to earn them.

I think these things need to be kept in mind while trying to analyse and dissect her behaviour before you deem her to be a person with mental problems.



731627 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#7
anandi yeh sub fear of rejection ki wajah se nahi karti infact koi agar use reject kur bhi dega to bhi woh uske baare mein accha hi sochegi .this is inbulit nature of anandi that she loves to take care of everyone whether anyone reject her or not .she pleases everyone so that peace is maintain in among family members.
Edited by surabhi01 - 12 years ago
angelic.pari thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#8
because she has nothing else to do
Tuttifrutti thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: aparnauma

Fruityjee


Only few days ago people were complaining how uncaring she is towards her sasuralwale and now she addressed their insecurities and made them happy she is being asked why she wants to make people happy

When she was happy to go back to Jaitser because being in Jitser made her happy people complained

When she was unhappy because the Singhs are unhappy they complained for being too much involved with Singhs happiness

When she comes up with a plan to make both the families happy and succeeds in her plan then also she has a problem.

When will she ever be regarded as someone who simply likes to keep people around her happy just because she likes to have happy smiling faces of her loved ones around her?

As for your question about fear of rejection and fear of failure?

Just put your self in that little girl's place where she was told by her parents that her home is not her home any more she has to make a home for herself at a different place with people who are total strangers to her and she has to be a good girl to be liked by them.
And try to remember what all that little girl had to undergo to make herself loveable to her new family.All the rights that every child has have been taken away from her.All the things that are her by rights she had to earn them.

I think these things need to be kept in mind while trying to analyse and dissect her behaviour before you deem her to be a person with mental problems.



Well, you picked up some good points..the question is why she wants to please everyone..I agree with you that being a kid what she was told..but life has taught her so much that she has already faced diificulties in her life from from her ex husband and even from people like Het Singh ..but my dear frind...I clearly mentioned about her recent or her present..
Does she need to claim sympathy on the basis of the past..sure I agree but when her greives have already been addressed in an amicable way..does she still need to complain..
Here my question arises..why she is still where she was in childhood..
GoodDoc_2105 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10
@Fruity

She likes to please people simply because she loves doing it.If she thinks she can do something to make people around her happy she will do it for the sake of simple pleasure of having happy faces around her.Why only Anandi anybody for that matter your happiness becomes double when you see all the people around you happy.

Here Ira told how disappointed she is at the thought of not having them over for the festival celebrations and she just made an extra effort to make them happy. She was just being practical.

I did not raise the theories about insecurity and rejection are being the reasons for her wanting to please people.The kind of childhood you have does contribute to the adult you have become.Otherwise people do not insist on secure comfortable and loving environment for a child to become well balanced adult.

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