My in-laws' reprimands were as pathetic as their threats. They subverted my cleaning unit privileges and fired the chauffer. I couldn't care less. These were things that I would have liked to myself anyway. Rishabh's absence was apparent in every nook of the house that now lacked umph. I knew I was wittier but, I need someone to share the jokes with. God, I missed him like crazy. Face time with him became the highlight of my week.
"Hey, I picked the perfect spot to make you jealous. It's snowing out here", he held up his tablet to a group of students playing snow football.
"I picked the perfect spot to give it back to you", I pointed my phone to breezy Mumbai air by the beach.
"This as cheesy as we are allowed to get. Tell me something boring".
"Unlimited booze and blasting keggars. US of A is awesome. I love being away from you".
"How comforting. You are not being missed either", I constricted my nostrils to display annoyance.
"Your Harvard sweatshirt says otherwise". I could not believe I had been careless enough to give it all away.
"Atleast I can wear sweatshirts now that nosy Nancy is gone".
"Sweats on a beach. Only you can pull off such madness".
"How is school treating you? I bet it is an ego fest".
"You guessed right. Which is why I am coming down".
"I was so focused on..."
"My face?" He caught me in the act. After a convincing argument on how much I hated surprises, Rishabh Kundra lost, like always, and revealed that he had boarded a jet back to Mumbai.
I was equally ecstatic and nervous for his homecoming. I needed to make this special. Given the guy had only left me two hours, I did the best I could. I bought a Patiala suit on my way home, let my curls loose and used up that fancy mascara reserved for special occasions. I collected a jar full of butterflies in my stomach as the clock ticked away.
The doorbell rang and there he stood, leaner and more handsome than ever. I wanted to kiss him, hug him, welcome him in. instead, I stood there like a fool, lost in the vibrant warmth of his smell, recalling our little understandings. He broke the silence in the air.
"Are you going to block the entrance forever?"
"I am not pleased with you showing up uninvited".
"I am happy to crash in", he scooped me up by the waist and kicked the door shut. "You look like my Madhu. Just what I need". He gently placed me on the couch and stared at me from a distance.
"Have we met before?"
"Good try. I am not falling for your age old pick up lines. If you want a piece of this, be creative".
"What can I say? I am corny and I know it". He sat on my lap, "I am ready to be picked up".
"You are going to crimple up my dress".
"If you are so worried, why don't you take it off".
"You just got here".
"I am sexually frustrated".
"Did you forget the sugar coat back in the States?"
"I have always been this forward with you".
"Time to rethink your game".
"Not my fault. You look so irresistible with the furrowed brows and the toes curled in my direction. You know you want this. Just too shy to vocalize your emotions".
"There is only one lawyer in this house and that is me. Do not even try".
"Why do you smell like me?" He sniffed the ringlet of my hair. "You soap bandit".
"Baseless allegations".
"I charge you with theft".
"Let's settle this out of court".
"Mediation not litigation. Good choice".
"Aggressive".
"Passive aggressive"
"Bedroom in five. Take it or leave it".
" I drop my charges".
"I missed you".
"I know".
"You think I miss you so much I cry? You are hallucinating".
"There a lot of girls who would".
"Then fondle with them".
"I just..."
"wanted to make me jealous. My trust in you is going to be my downfa...", before I could finish my sentence, a wave of nausea took over. I pursed my lips shut and carefully made way to the bathroom. I tried being as gentle and vague as my gag reflux allowed, crossed my heart that Rishabh did not find out and purged my brains out . He did not follow me in.
"You okay in there?"
"Yes"
My face had turned two shades paler. I caked on bronzer like an umpha lumpha, sprayed some perfume to ward of the vomit smell and made my way back to the bed.
"What happened?" An obvious question followed.
"Nausea, I am sure it will go away".
"I am here for a week. Take it easy".
"I am sorry".
"Chicken soup for dinner?"
"I will cook. You must be tired".
"Meri biwi pati vrata kab se ho gayi".
"I was being charitable".
I felt awful for having barfed all over his dreams on his first night back home.
Health and Fitness
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
