His Desire - OS

There's just something about her. You can't quite put your finger on it. It's the same as knowing how to dream. There's something deep inside that allows you to slip into sub conscious …and then you soar. That's what she's like ... she makes you soar.

It's impossible to say exactly why. She's not the smartest girl you know. She's great at her work... stunningly good at cooking. She's almost better than you actually - even when you get past being distracted by her vibrant smile and laughing eyes, she can beat you in a duel in chess.. This last bit she says with a teasing smile just before her lips capture yours.

The first time you had a real conversation with her... a conversation that lasted over twenty minutes and involved only the two of you together in the barren fields of Jeitsar...She told you what she felt on how the DAM should run thru'…. And she was right. She stood across from you.. and she looked at you with big, solemn eyes, telling you about the conviction in her belief….that fascinated your heart…that you wanted to reach across and hug her…. but you didn't. Instead you stared dumbly at her...for so long that she blushed pink on her cheeks… and you smiled at her,… You slept until dawn for the first time in weeks that night. It was only much later that you realized you had forgotten to say Thank you.

It's not entirely possible to put into words why she's so beautiful. She's not a girl with an exotic beauty and near perfection. It's mostly when she smiles and her whole face lights up; a light shining from inside her, spilling out her eyes. She spends more time outside than any girl you know - walking around the streets of Jetsar…from school..to the panchayat…and to the Haveli - so that her cheeks seem to always hold a glow of sunshine. You think perhaps the sun has seeped into her, leaking out when she smiles brilliantly. And you love it… she looks like a child of the sun.

She smells like cinnamon and cloves… like chocolate and tea. Her eyes are so dark they appear black in certain lights, and they study you when she thinks you're not watching ... but once you started looking at her, you could never look away. You're always aware of where she is and where her eyes are looking. You let her study you, though. She seems to find something that makes her smile a secret smile and it's worth it, just to see her smile, even though it always makes you burn to know she's watching.

You remember the day like it was yesterday, when you were walking next to her on the night when you walked her back to the Haveli…after your memorable Dinner date…, allowing your shoulder to bump hers every few minutes, loving the shiver of pleasure that raced up your arm every time you brushed against her. You were rewarded every time with bright smiles and glowing blushes and heart-stopping looks. The most amazing feeling, though, was when you were walking down the street a few days after you have confessed your love for her… you felt her hand slip into yours. It was tiny and soft and dry, with short fingernails… and every time she ran her thumb along yours it created the most delicious sensations ...sensations that made you grateful for having her beside you in your life….

She does not laugh a lot. Yet..its the most amazing sound. It's better than a magic. It heals you. You feel you should tickle her constantly, just to hear her laugh. You've become silly now ... something you never used to be ... making faces at her and telling jokes in the hope that it will cause her to burst into laughter. It seems she's good at making others laugh as well. She inherited that wonderful family trait that gives some innate ability to bring joy to those around her ... to bring you joy.

Sometimes she cries. You hate that she still has fears. You hate the Man who made her this way but you like the fact that you can give her something and offer her solace. You wish there was more for you to give. Someday, you hope to give her the world.

You think about how you might have missed this… If it hadn't all clicked. She's sensible and kind and a little bit better at everything than anyone else ... but when you add it all up, she's amazing. She's sensational really, and you think about how you almost passed her by ... If you hadn't spoken with her, or watched her work, or heard her laugh, or noticed her bright, vibrant , soft, luminous eyes ... if you hadn't saved her life ... you could have gone your whole life and missed this. Maybe never even knowing that something was missing, but still feeling lost and empty with a longing… For someone to love. For someone who would hold you when you wept, and brush your hair off your forehead, and kiss your eyes. For someone to tell you everything would be all right.

She has given you courage. Courage to face Life's mean battles now… And you know tomorrow, when the burden of your accomplishment becomes unbearable, you know she will be there to hold you, to study you with bright eyes, and to make you laugh.

She is your desire. You know that now. She is your heart's desire… She has made you long for a future...So that you can be content with the past.