Posted:
Really long post so be warned...
Also, just so you know I'm not interested in love-blinded rants or random aggression. If you agree with my opinions, fine. If you don't, that's also fine.
But if you're just looking to abuse or write brainless anti this/that/and everything comments, then go away. I'm not interested.
Another thing...I'm not a specifically Barun or Sanaya fan...I simply like (or rather liked) the show IPKKND...and I like them both...on-screen, for their amazing chemistry; and off screen, for the genuinely nice and simple people they seem to be.
So here goes...
I'm glad because things suddenly fell into place...for me, that is.
Like most everyone else on this forum, I have been reading all sorts of posts about Barun...some calling for his blood for what they perceive as "desertion"; others calling him dumb, saying his career's over, calling him unprofessional; some going the other extreme and making him out to be some sorry, pathetic creature to be pitied, crying for him as if he is a lost little boy in the woods.
Today I realised that Barun doesn't fit into ANY of these categories.
This is what I heard.
I heard a normal, regular guy giving an interview.
A regular guy who sounded tired as most of us do after a day's work. Maybe who sounded more than a bit tired because of the pressures he's going through.
Digressing for a moment here...NO...in spite of what many dreamy soppy teenage girls are imagining, he was NOT crying. There's a difference between a naturally reticent, reserved, and as we all know about him, socially awkward guy who's sounding tired and tense and a guy who's crying! And anyway, he doesn't really have any reason to cry. He might be tired, tense, and under pressure...but he sounded very convinced about what he was doing...and that is taking a break! He might not know when, for how long and so on...but he never, not even once, wavered from the fact that he IS GOING TO TAKE A BREAK! There was absolutely NO ambiguity every time he repeated that sentence.
Coming back to my main points...
He said in an article that he is tired, and needs a break. He said the same thing in his interview. Ever since that statement came out, the forum has been flooded with posts dipped heavily in sarcasm and taunts. Everybody seems to have taken it so personally!
How dare he say he works very long hours? Don't we work long hours?
How dare he say he gets tired? Don't we get tired?
Who does he think he is?
Hello??? What's wrong with you people? There must be thousand/lakhs of us who work insanely long hours. And there must be thousands/lakhs of us who get exhausted.
But does that mean that if someone (anyone one of us) WANTS to take a break from a back-breaking routine, they shouldn't be allowed to? They should be called selfish and other names? How warped is that logic?
I have worked for many years in advertising. And believe me...that is a tough industry too. Your life belongs to your clients. I remember there was a period when for three entire weeks, I didn't see my dad at all...and that time we lived in the same house! I would leave for work before he woke up and would get home after he had gone to sleep. I lost touch with ALL my friends, missed all birthdays, festive occasions like diwali, holi etc (because festival time is peak time in ad agencies). And it was was bloody exhausting!!
And yes...one day I reached my saturation point. Life had turned into a monotone reality, where only work existed. My personal life was non-existent. My family life was non-existent. My parents missed me. My brother missed me. And I missed them. And so I did what I needed to to do for myself and my family. I quit! They offered me more money. They offered me a paid vacation. But I was so exhausted mentally and physically that these things didn't matter. I just needed time away. Time to recoup. Time to be with my family.
What is so wrong in that? How can we decide for someone else how much and till how long they should work? Even if they are tired, even if they are not enjoying their work anymore, even if they are saturated, even if they are not feeling inspired any more, even if they are doing it at the cost of ignoring their family...NO...YOU have to continue working because I as a fan love you, and that means you are beholden to me, because I am used to seeing you everyday at 8, and even though I've been complaining about how tired you look all the time...but still YOU HAVE to keep working so that I can drool over this fantasy life of yours.
Seriously?
All of us, at some point of time or the other, take major life decisions... marriage/career etc. Who decides for us? WE do. Individually. WE make our own life decisions. Our family helps us. We take their advice. How many times do we let a stranger decide our future for us? Which one of us will make a decision about who they marry OR which job they should continue with from another person on a random forum? EVEN if that random stranger claims to "love us to death"...
I have seen people on this forum take great offense and react very angrily when any other member tries to tell them what they should think or how they should feel or how they should react. And that is the reaction on insignificant things.
BUT we feel that we have the right to dictate and decide Barun's life and his career choices. Again...Seriously???
It's his life, people! He gets to decide. Good or bad. He decides. Period.
If he's tired and wants a break...hell, who are we to tell him he can't be tired?
If he's bored with the work he's doing...how the hell can we tell him you can't get bored? Just work dammit. Because I (the fan) am working, because Sanaya is working, because XYZ is working...that means YOU have no right to be tired or bored or anything! Just keep working till I (the great fan) gets tired of watching you, or something else comes along that interests me...and then, you can stop...but not before that!
Some people are saying "I invested 1.5 years of my life to this show! How dare they leave me in the lurch now?"
Let's be frank...
YOU watched because you liked the story and the actors/characters.
Barun did the show because a) it was his job and b) because he enjoyed it his work.
If anyone of us stopped watching the show for whatever reason, does Barun have the right to rant that he invested 1.5 years in the show and how dare we stop watching it now?!! That even though WE are tired and bored, we HAVE to keep watching because HE spent so much time on it?
It's a two-way street, people. You can sop watching when you get tired or lose interest. And he can stop doing the show when he gets tired or loses interest. When, exactly, in this two-way venture did he or any of the actors become our personal slaves...to do and behave as we wish?
Yeah, yeah...I'm ready to move on to my next point.
Everybody keeps complaining...Oh Arnav and Khushi are just married. Let them spend more and more time together. Let them be romantic. I've read posts saying "Oh Arnav is such a fantastic husband. So loving. I wish I had a husband like Arnav".
Well, then how come when Barun does what we want Arnav to do, we resist it with all our forum might?? When he says he wants to spend time with his wife, we say "nu.uh...not at the cost of our show please!"
He's newly married, isn't he? He's in love with his wife. How much time do you actually think he's spent with her during the last 1.5 years? And please don't resort to that lame ass excuse..it's the nature of the job. He's not doing bonded labour, for God's sake! Yes, it is the nature of the job, but it is the nature of a human being to decide what is more important in his life at a given point in time!
And if he feels that in his about 2 years of marriage, out of which he has dedicated 1.5 years to work, that he now needs to give his wife that same kind of importance, then I say GOOD for him!
We would love it if Arnav did that for Khushi, wouldn't we? That's what all of us have been clamoring for to the CVs, haven't we?
And hell...He's probably doing it for himself too, not just for her. The man is madly in love with his wife, after all! Maybe he's tired of seeing her for 30 min everyday.
Maybe he's tired, and wants to take a break and spend some well-deserved goddamn time with the woman he married and loves and promised to share a life with!!!
Wait, that sounds familiar. Who said that? Oh right! Barun said that. Oh how I wish Arnav had said that for Khushi...then I would have ooohed and aahed and dreamt about finding a man just like that...*dreamy eyes*
Well, anyway...that's the guy I heard on the radio. A normal regular guy. A down-to-earth guy. A simple guy with no ego hassles. A reticent socially awkward shy guy. A guy who doesn't have a big mouth and doesn't try to shove his opinions down other people's throat. A guy who takes life as it comes and wants to see what all he can do. A guy who for the moment just wants to take a break and spend time with his wife and family. A guy who laughs easily on simple jokes. A guy who's thankful to the people who like him but who doesn't think he needs to sign his life over to them in exchange for that love.
Just a guy...
And you know what? I'm going to watch the show as long as I enjoy it. Because that's the reason I watch a show. The days I find it boring, I will switch the channel. The days it's interesting, I will stay tuned. If I feel Arnav's absence in the show has made the show boring for me, I'll switch it off. I'll miss the show of course. But I'll try and remember that it is after all, a FICTIONAL SHOW...not reality. And Barun and Sanaya are great actors...but with lives of their own...that they can live as they wish, just as I live mine. And you live yours.
Cheers!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
