Chapter 7 : Unavoidable Pain
"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain"
-Aristotle
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"Since you seem to love Anurag that much, you'll be glad to know that this was his room."
And with those casually uttered words, she left.
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Arnav stood in the same position for a long time. Maybe it was the serene quiet of the atmosphere around him, or maybe it was the feeling of being so close to Baba.
Or maybe it was because of her.
Khushi Sen.
Enigma was the first word he thought when she flashed in front of his eyes. Mystery was the second. But what confused him was one thing. She was so...readable. Her emotions almost bounced off her like electricity. So for such an easily decipherable woman, why was she shrouded with an air of the unknown?
Those eyes were beacons of a thousand emotions. But they were veiled, like she was hiding her true intentions for some reason.
His dreams surrounded only the physical. The feeling of being one with her. But only her body. He didn't know how to understand her, how to read into her little actions.
Arnav exhaled and looked back to the window.
There was something that glowed subtly from in between the bars. The glimmer was feeble, but it was present nonetheless. Curiousity made him move forward, and he took silent steps towards the window.
Stars.
Hundreds of shimmering stars lay embedded into the pitch black horizon of the sky. They winked continually at him, reminding him of the glittering diamonds in expensive jewelry showrooms.
His birth parents were up there, weren't they?
Arnav smiled as he remembered his Baba's words. Of course they were up there, he'd said to an adamant ten year old hell bent on denying everything he'd said.
Why would they turn into such beautiful objects when they had left him all alone in the world?
Why should they? They didn't deserve to.
He leaned in closer to take in the aroma that wafted softly through the grail. It was the smell of wild raat ki raani. His absolute favorite thing in the world.
A sudden thought jolted his head back from the bars.
She smelt like raat ki raani too.
Arnav's brow furrowed as he leaned back in and inhaled the air once again. It was odd that he hadn't been able to place such a familiar and loved aroma. But she didn't smell only like his favorite plant. And that was probably the reason why he hadn't been able to recognize it.
A chill went up his spine as his intellect processed exactly what her perfume was.
She smelt like the burnt ruins of a hundred raat ki raani's.
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Pushing open the heavy door that led to her room, Khushi entered the small area with a fatigued body and an aching heart.
She made her way tiredly towards the small cot at the corner of the room, and then collapsed onto the hard surface with a small thud. There was no energy in her these days and after today's ordeal, she was completely spent.
Her violet eyes closed in a symbol of pain, anger and deceit.
She had been living this hell for years.
The hell that asshole had left behind.
Khushi's eyes snapped wide open with a vengeance as that thought resounded in her mind. It was because her father that she had been through everything. It was because of her father that her lovely Ma had succumbed to the pain.
And it was because of him-only because of him that her beautiful little Jaya had-
This time, her tears weren't peripheral. They didn't stay in her eyes, and they didn't fall slowly. No, they flowed like a river determined to flood and destroy everything in its way. They fell like lightening from Lord Indira's fingertips and they dripped like the wax that melted only a few feet away from her.
Khushi's frame shook and trembled at the force of her sobs. Sobs, not wails. For there was no sound that escaped her mouth. A deathly, almost deafening silence echoed in her room. It made her ears bleed.
She pressed her palm against her head in an effort to stop the non-existent sound. Oh anyone, couldn't anyone make it stop? Couldn't it just end?
Her body still racking with her tears, she curled herself into a tight ball. The fetal position reminded her of how weak, how pathetic a creature she actually was.
For twelve years, she had not heard that name. For twelve years, she had built herslef up from scratch. Despite the curse she carried, Khushi had proceeded to construct a new life for herslef. And she had done it.
She had thought that she was invulnerable. After such a long time, she had become used to the loneliness and the pain.
Khushi had thought that she had won.
But she was wrong.
So very wrong.
A soft cry that she couldn't control left her aching throat. She pressed her face against her icy hands and furled herself even more tightly.
He had done it again.
What had he said in that letter? Oh yes, that he apologized. That he'd never meant it. Her fingers balled into fists and her nails dug crescents onto her palms. Khushi had to let Arnav stay becuase her father loved him.
Because if she denied him, she would only prove that she still cared about Anurag.
Khushi thrust herself away from the scratchy surface of the cot, and sunk to the ground. He'd written that if she didn't bother about him anymore, then there should have been no problem with Arnav. After all, her father was dead for her, wasn't he?
Anurag had provoked her.
And she had reacted exactly in the manner that he had expected.
It just went to prove an already proven fact. That she was brainless.
But she never wanted Anurag to think she cared. Never. That man was dead and gone for her. He'd caused her so much pain, so much pain, that it was hard to remember if she'd ever hurt that much after that time in her life.
He had blown her life apart. Turned it into the worst kind of hell. Made her suffer for something that had never been her fault.
Before that time, she had loved him. Yes, she had loved the man she now professed to hate. It had been a long time ago, but that feeling had existed. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she couldn't.
It was futile.
Khushi's eyes closed as the memory of a rusted swing rose behind her lids. He had been everything for her. Every single thing.
But then he'd killed her with what he'd done.
He'd murdered Kanyaka Sen.
In her place, stood a new and evolved Khushi Sen.
A woman who hated him beyond sanity. A woman determined to make him pay. A woman ready to send him into the worst hell.
Her violet eyes snapped open in sync with that thought. An odd fire glowed within those strange depths.
It was a fire that stood ready to burn everything to the ground.
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Late, I know! But I managed to update just in time. Had some friends over. Sorry you guys! GO AHEAD, REVIEEWWW!
Edited by dreamyshadows - 12 years ago
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