Shackles of Love#8#MG FF Chapters 32-35 - Page 10

Maan stared at the innocent face before him.

Whatever game destiny had played here, if there was someone who was innocent in this it was Geet. Fate and Darji had played a dirty game, but he was helpless too. He didn't know why Darji had done it, and he wanted to ask Darji the reason and that too face to face. This was not a conversation that could be held over a phone call.

But right now, he needed to talk to Geet, make her understand his part of the story.

"Geet utho." Maan gently shook her, watching her face, as if memorizing her features, committing them to his memory. They would have to last him a long time to come.

Geet felt someone shaking her and she rose from the slumberous depths of peace she had been lost in. She didn't want to wake up and face the dreadful nightmare her life had suddenly become.

Her eyes opened to see him looming over her, concern and anger in equal measure splashed across his face, before he masked it to present his usual emotionless stance. "Tum theek ho?"

She twisted her head away, hiding her face with her hair as fresh tears ran down her cheeks. Unable to bear her tears, he turned away from her to face the lake, trying to calm the sudden restlessness within him.

The silence was thick with unsaid words and accusations. Both were lost in their own thoughts, each contemplating on the ironies of life.

Geet sat there thinking about all that had happened.

Their marriage.

His rejection.

Her attempts to hold on to this relationship.

His adamancy.

And now THE TRUTH.

The hollowness of her life came to grab her in its painful tentacles and squeeze the remaining life out of her. Whenever she thought life can't get any worse, she was proved wrong.

She sat there having cried herself out, now dry eyed, lost in reflection. She didn't know when the sky changed hue and darkness started to enshroud both of them in its murky depths.

The last remnants of sunlight did little to dispel the gloomy darkness. Her future looked as miserable as the atmosphere around her. Not that her past had been a bed of roses. Darji hadn't told her anything about this being a temporary arrangement, infact he had made her promise that she would do her utmost to make this relationship work. Did that mean that he was hoping that Maan would change his mind?

From what she had seen of Maan, he didn't seem like the kind of man who would change his decision. So why had Darji gambled her life? There were too many questions, but no answers. And the one who could provide them was not interested in answering the question her life had suddenly become. She stared at his back; suddenly he didn't even want to face her now?

She willed him to turn and look at her, to bring her out of this hell hole.

And to her surprise, as if he had heard her, he turned to look at her. Their eyes met and time stood still.

"Babaji kya ye koi ishara tha?" she prayed as usual, to her one solace in the lonely life she had led.

His eyes showed her a yearning, masked but still visible. That one look gave her the strength she needed to fight back against destiny. She would not let fate cheat her this time around.

Till today she was fighting with Maan to fulfill the promise she had made to her Darji. But today, she wanted to fight against him for him.

She suddenly remembered Dev's words about Maan's past. What was in his past that he had resorted to such a thing? Why was he so against women and marriage? He cared for her. She knew he did. Because no matter how much he tried to hide it with his cold demeanor and harsh words, his eyes always gave him away.

His eyes told her he wanted to be free of something. His eyes told her that she did mean something to him. His eyes told her that he cared.

Making up her mind, she got up and walked to him, determination oozing in each step. There was no way she was letting Maan go. Her Babaji had made him for her and she was keeping him, whether he liked it or not. She thought stubbornly.

Now she just needed some time to make him accept the fact that he needed her too. But first she needed some answers.

==========

As Geet reached near, Maan blinked and turned away, not able to meet her eyes. Geet tried to read them, but he refused to look at her.

He was blocking her out too solidly for her to enter his sacred space. Unable to bear this distance she cried out, "Why?"

Just one word, but that one word was laden with such pain that his frozen heart shattered a bit to hear it. Determined to give her the explanation she deserved, Maan took a minute to gather his thoughts, "You have always asked me the reason for my behavior, not once, but many times, but I never replied to u. You know why?" He paused to look at her. "Because I thought you knew. And you were just trying to trap me."

At her confused look, he elaborated.

"Before agreeing to marry you, I had asked Darji to tell you the truth. I would have never gone ahead without you knowing about it. Par galti meri hi hai, I should have made sure that you are agreeable for this contract marriage. I trusted Darji, much to my regret." He stated punching a nearby tree trunk in frustration. Geet winced in pain at his action, but refrained from stopping him. Her own pain at the moment was too deep for her to bear his too. She sat there like a lifeless doll, with no emotions showing except for the tears silently dripping down her chin.

"Darji convinced me that you were ready for this marriage and due to some reasons, he wanted you away from HP for some time. So this was perfect for both of us. I was such a fool to not question him further."

He didn't want to tell Geet about Darji's dirty words, because he somewhere believed that they were not true. He didn't want to hurt her more than he already had in his ignorance.

Geet stood like a statue, no emotions reflected on her face. Her face was pale as the colour had leeched out and she was totally drained.

"I know I have treated you abominably during these days. There are no words for my behavior." He recollected all his harsh words to her. "All I can say is sorry." He ended in a whisper, thinking about the decision he had made just now.

"Is that all you want to say Maan?" Geet asked incredulously.

"That's all that concerns you." He replied calmly.

Reigning in her temper at his stubbornness, she nodded, "Okay. Apology accepted. Now what?"

Her acceptance of his atrocities had made him grudgingly respect her. He knew she was falling for him. But he couldn't let that happen. It was better to distance her now than to let her feelings grow. He didn't want to probe too deeply into his own feelings on the matter. That was taboo grounds.

He would deal with the legal ramifications of the will and his decision later; right now his priority was Geet and her well being.

Logically he knew he was not to be blamed totally, as he had made his intentions clear. Darji had tricked him too. But then the heart never followed logic did it? His heart only knew that Geet was in pain and that too because of him. The knowledge cut him deep. But he was helpless.

Destiny had made him so.

And he was tired of fighting against his destiny.

"I was thinking that it would be best if I took you back to your family in HP." He delivered his ultimatum. Not by a syllable did he give away the intense pain in his chest at the thought of her going away from him. This was his penance. And he had to live with it.

"What?" Geet was shocked, she hadn't expected this. She thought she had time to make him change his mind, but looks like her stubborn husband was one step ahead.

"There is no future to this relation. It was always meant to be a temporary arrangement. After 6 months, you will be back in HP and I will be here, living my life the way I was meant to. But I know that you are expecting something from me which I cannot give. So it's better to end this here rather than to let things get messy. Hurting you is the last thing I want Geet. Mai nahi chahta ke tum kisi bhram me jiyo ke humare rishte ki koi manzil hai."

She looked at him in anger; once again someone was making the decisions of her life without consulting her. First it had been fate, when it had snatched her parents and left her with her so called family. Then it had been Darji, shackling her to Maan. And now it was Maan, himself, removing her from his life. She had had enough of other people deciding for her, it was high time that she started taking control of her life.

Her frustration got the better of her and she burst out, "Aapne to kaha tha ke contract was for 6 months? Aapko jo chahiye tha wo mil gaya? Isliye mujhe apni zindagi se nikaal rahe hai na aap? After all you are THE Maan Singh Khurrana. THE Maan Singh Khurrana jise profit-loss, deals aur contract ke siwa aur kuch samajh nahi aata, hai na? Kisi ki feelings ki koi ehmeeyat nahi hai aapki nazron me."

Maan knew he deserved all her anger and more, so he tried explaining it to her patiently. "Dekho Geet, mai jo bhi kar raha hu, tumhari bhalai ke liye kar raha hu."

"Thank you very much Mr. Khurrana lekin mai apni bhalai khud soch sakti hu. Aapko mujhpe apna keemti time waste karni ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. You don't have to keep saying that it is for my good." She retorted.

"Just stop this Geet! Try and understand what I am saying. The reason I am doing this is I don't want you building false hope and live under any illusion that we are meant to be. Meri zindagi me kisi aur ke liye koi jagah nahi hai! Tum samajhti kyu nahi." He cried in bitterness. "Your life would be much better away from me. Far away from me."

"No! I won't go." She said with determination. "And who gave you the right to take decisions about my life? Jab aap meri zindagi ka hissa banna hi nahi chahte to aapko meri zindagi ke faisle lene ka bhi koi adhikaar nahi hai! Aap apna sochiye, mai apne baare me soch loongi. You said 6 months and 6 months it will be! Aakhir aapko bhi aapki is deal ka ka pura fayda hona chahiye na. Mera kya hai? Yaha rahu ya waha, hu to ek boj hi na? Pehle apne Darji ke liye thi, abhi aapke liye hu. Jaise unhone mujhe nikaal ke fek diya apni zindagi se, waise aap bhi'"

"Geet!" He thundered. "What the hell are you saying? Pagal to nahi ho gayee tum?"

"Haan pagal ho gayee hu mai! Lekin aapko kya farak padhta hai? Kya hu mai aap ke liye? Ek khilona? Jo aap khareed ke laye hai meri Darji se? Jab mann kiya pass aa gaye, jab mann kiya dur kar diya. Aapko meri feelings se kya? Kal agar mai mar bhi'"

He grasped her shoulder tightly and pulled her hard against him, "Dare you Geet! Dare you say something like that." He said between clenched teeth, shaking her hard, his anger bubbling at her words.

She stared into his angry orbs which reflected her own pain, despair and helplessness.

The barrier of indifference behind which he always hid was torn apart and the emotions tearing them both apart were laid bare in their eyes, which each could read like clear glass.

But along with anger she saw something in his eyes which reaffirmed her decision. His eyes reflected something which defined love to her, if not love then at least the starting of the emotion. Along with it there was also his adamancy to suppress it. The fight was visible in his eyes and his turmoil over his determination to win against himself.

She lifted her hand, unable to see him in torment and touched his face gently, asking, pleading one last time for something which she wanted with all her heart.

"Maan please. Can't you give us one chance?"

"No." He was unyielding, even as he tried to free himself from her tender hands which had suddenly tightened around him and refused to let go.

"Kyu nahi Maan? Let me stay with you. We can make this work Maan."

"Maan ki zindagi me koi nahi aa sakta. Geet bhi nahi." He freed himself with great difficulty as his every nerve was clamoring for him to grab her and stay cocooned within the haven of her arms. Clearing his throat, he motioned her to start walking, "And that's the end of this conversation. Let's go back, it's getting late. Tum apni packing kar lo. Mai tumhe kal hi tumhare ghar drop kar doonga."

Geet felt like screaming at his stubbornness, but she was determined to not give in. She knew if she could just manage to stay here, she would change his mind. She had seen him slowly start to accept her these past few days. She would fight for him, for her love. And now she was sure that he was not indifferent to her either. She just needed some time to make him accept that.

"No I won't. I am not going anywhere. I am going to stay where I wish to." She stood in front of him in a challenging stance, resolve lacing her voice.

"Tumhe 'na' ka matlab samajh nahi aata?" He shouted, at the end of his fortitude. Here he was thinking what's good for her, distancing her from him and she was hell bent on making his resolve falter.

"Aapki 'na' ab mere liye koi mayne nahi rakhti. Aapko to aadat ho gayee hai na, 'na' kehna ki? Meri har baat ko 'na' me jawaab dena, ye aapki aadat hai. Ye contract ki shaadi aapne ki thi na? To abhi aapko is contract ko 6 mahine ke liye nibhaana hi hoga." She stated determinedly.

"Please Geet. Try to understand. Jo tum chahti ho wo kabhi nahi ho sakta." He tried once more only to be cut off, by her "Meri har baat ka jawaab aapke liye na hi hota hai." Geet said tearfully.

Going up to him, she grasped his collar and jerked him to her, "Kyu nahi ho sakta? Isse aapko kya problem hai? Mere saath aapka naam jodne se aapko darr lagta hai?" She asked.

"Aapko kya lagta hai? Mai aapke kabil nahi hu? Jis ladki ke khud ke gharwale hi uski parwah na kare use kisi aur se bhi koi umeed nahi rakhni chahiye?" She left him and turned away, tears streaming soundlessly at her fate.

"Aasman se safed ghode me rajkumar baithkar ek haath me phool to doosre haath me anghoothi leke aayega, uske sapno me aaj tak jeeti aayi thi mai. Humesha yahi sochti thi ke jo dard bachpan se sehti aayi hu, un sab ka nishaan tak mita dega. Sapne dekhti thi, ek nayi zindagi basane ke, khush rehne ke. Darji ne jab mujhse kaha, ke meri shaadi aapse hogi, to wo faisla bhi maine sir jhuka ke maan liya. Aapko dekha to aapko hi apni duniya bana li. Jaante hai, aapki baatein kaaton ki tarah mere dil me chubti hai? Magar phir bhi maine apne aap ko samjha liya. Lekin mujhe kya pata tha, ke phool to door, mera rajkumar meri zindagi ka ek aakhri sapna bhi mujhse cheen lega!"

"Bas karo Geet. Bas. Aur nahi. Ye kya anaap shanaap bol rahi ho tum." Maan's heart turned at her words, piercing him. He so wished to be that Prince Charming for her. But he was not. Nor could he ever be.

"Maan, aapne mujhe mana kyu kiya? Kya mai aapke layak nahi hu?" Geet pleaded, the pain visible in her eyes.

Maan was at his wits end. Why was Geet increasing his problems? Why doesn't she understand? It has nothing to do with her; in fact it was him who was unworthy of her. It is better that she goes away from here. My life will just taint her present like it has done for me. "Tumhare sawaalon ke jawaab nahi hai mere pass Geet."

The taunts of all those people from his childhood had become a distant nightmare. It had taken a lot of will power to rise above them and survive in this world. But he had done it. Maan Singh Khurrana had fought with his past and came out as a winner.

Or so he used to think.

"Jiska khud koi wajood nahi hai wo is rishte ko kya wajood dega!"

Sameera's words still echoed in his ears, belittling everything he had ever achieved. A reminder that his dark past could never be erased. It was a part of him, and he did not wish to let someone else into it.

He had once tried it with Sameera, but he didn't think he could ever try it again with Geet.

Because he was sure, he wouldn't be able to survive a second time around.

He grabbed her hands and started pulling her towards home. But Geet stopped him, "Bas. Yahi tak ka saath tha humara?" She couldn't seem to find a way around his rigidness.

"Maine humesha is rishte ko pure mann se nibhane ki koshish ki hai. Aur aap? Aapke liye to ye sab bas ek khel hi hai na? Kal aap mujhe apni zindagi se door kar denge aur mujhe bhool jayenge? Kitna asaan hai na aapke liye ye sab?" Geet said in a hurt tone.

"Mai ye kabhi nahi bhool sakta ke tum meri zindagi me aayi. Kuch dino ke liye hi sahi, you turned my life around." He acknowledged, but before she could grasp the underlying the meaning of his words, his next set of words crushed her again. "But that doesn't mean that I can spend the rest of my life with you." There was pain visible in his eyes too.

"Kyu Maan? Kyu?"

"Kyuke mai nahi chahta ke meri zindagi ke boj tale tum dab jao." Maan said in a defeated voice. His shoulders drooped as he thought back to his painful past. Geet, whose eyes were swimming with unshed tears, missed the desolation clearly visible in his demeanor and spat, "Khokli baatein mat kijiye. Ye saare jhoote bahane hai aapke."

She knew he was fighting with himself against her. But she didn't know why. His eyes called out to her, begged her to not leave him, ever. But his words denied her.

"Sach batayi. Aap mujhe apne aapse door isliye kar rahe hai na, kyuke aapke dil me mere liye'mere liye naye ehsaas hai. Boliye Maan, yahi wajah hai na Maan mujhe door karne ki? Aapko darr lag raha hai ke mere saath rehte rehte aap apne jazbaat rok nahi paoge, apne aap pe kabu nahi kar paoge, Boliye na Maan. Aapko bhi mujhse pyaar ho gaya hai. Chahne lage hai aap mujhe."

"Haaannn." He blurted out, before he could stop himself. She looked at him in shock, never having imagined that he would accept his feelings. A beatific smile adorned her face and Maan got lost in her smile, both of them staring at each other, having found their own little world.