Why Sunny, Bobby skipped Esha's wedding

When it comes to leading dual lives, Bollywood's heroes lead the way. To this day Sunny Deol manages a beautiful balance between the two women in his life, wife Pooja and lady-love Dimple Kapadia. The relationship has survived for 27 years mainly because Dimple understood the rule of the game, as explained to her by Sunny, quite early in the relationship: don't trespass into the other territory.

Separate wives, separate lives. Dharmendra epitomizes the sentiment. He has been married peacefully to Hema Malini for 32 years. And Dharamji's first wife the reclusive Prakash, the mother of the actor's first four children, was never given a chance to feel in any way, belittled or compromised.

Says a close friend of Dharmendra and Hema Malini, "Dharamji took immense care to ensure that both his families felt comfortable in the sensitive situation created by his two marriages. Not for a second has he allowed Hemaji to feel the way the second wives are generally made to feel. Yes, she has brought up her two daughters Esha and Ahana largely on her own. Not that Dharamji is any less attached to his two youngest children. But all the complexities of bringing up a child, including managing the mechanics of Esha and Ahana's schooling, were taken care of by Hemaji alone. She knew Dharamji was just a phone call away if she needed him. But she brought up her daughters without ever needing to make that emergency phone call."

Hence when Esha's wedding arrived it was again Hema Malini's show all the way. Hema had just one condition laid out for the father of her daughter. Please be there for the wedding. Apparently all the nitty-gritty of the marriage arrangements were handled by this iron beauty all alone, with able support from her brother and nephew.

From months before the wedding date, Hema began the process of getting the details right. The rituals, hotel bookings, invitation cards, menu, clothes, flowers, decorations... She left nothing to chance or to her spouse. Besides the formal invitation cards, she personally rang up all her colleagues.

A colleague of the actress who admires Hema unabashedly says, "Hema re-defines the whole issue of time management. How very much in character to see her fully in-charge of every sphere. Even as an actress she was always in a commanding position. She could carry the biggest of films on her shoulders. The wedding too was her show."

People attributed Dharamji's low-profile attendance at Esha's marriage events to his frail health. In fact, informs a friend, he chose to be that way because he wanted to keep out of the media view to avoid uncomfortable questions. Sure enough, someone from the electronic press did drop a clanger in his face questioning the absence of Sunny and Bobby Deol at their half-sister's wedding.

The television channels got its juicy byte. The soft spoken won't-hurt-a-fly Dharmendra lost his cool at the question. "It was a sore point and very insensitive to bring it up," says someone close to the couple, "Only Dharamji, Hema and God know how much trouble they've taken to keep Dharamji's domestic life peaceful. Hema has never asked her husband for anything. On the rare occasions, when she did demand something it was for their daughters.A nd if he was unable to fulfil the demand, she quickly retreated and did the needful on her own."

Given the super-sensitive circumstances it would have been a miracle if Sunny and Bobby, fond as they are of their baby sister had shown up for the wedding. And yet, if reliable sources are to believed. Esha's two bade bhaiyyas had every intention of showing up on this the most important day in Esha's life. Finally though, they decided against doing so, so that their mother wouldn't be hurt.

Says a source, "Both Sunny and Bobby love Esha and Ahana a lot. They're very much the doting protective Big Brothers. Whenever they are abroad, Sunny and Bobby bring suitcases filled with shoes, belts and clothes for Esha and her sister. They wouldn't have liked to miss the big day for anything in the world. But finally the fragility of the world that Dharmendra has created within and outside his home, had to be kept in mind."

Finally, it was a no-show for Esha's two brothers. Yes, her Abhay from the Deol family, did show up. But somehow it wasn't same. Says a friend, "That Sunny and Bobby couldn't attend Esha's wedding was a personal defeat for Dharamji. It was a reminder of the fact that his two families would never be the one. His ire was totally justified."