Was putting the baby issue on hold a good idea?

Nidhi said that they should not discuss the baby issue. I am wondering if that is possible or even healthy. Does temporarily evading an issue or pretending that it does not exist really help? If there is conflict, is it probably a better idea to try and deal with it rather than brush it under the carpet?

I know certain decisions cannot be taken overnight. A lot of thought and planning goes into it. But how will a solution be arrived at if you don't discuss it? They both made their points of view clear and when it was apparent that there was conflict, decided to not talk about it. Unless you talk about it, how do you arrive at a solution?

Granted, maybe in keeping with the romantic atmosphere, Ashutosh should not have brought it up yesterday. But how much longer would he have kept quiet? Given his strong desire for a child, the topic would have come up sooner or later, despite his having agreed with Nidhi on not discussing it. There was no way he was not going to bring it up until the day Nidhi chose to. I am not saying he would have taunted her or been nasty about it or even verbal, but by word or deed he was bound to give it away that his heart continued to long for a child.

Even from Nidhi's perspective, this issue is like a Damocles sword. Rather than keep it hanging, makes more sense to thrash it out and come up with some solution that makes both parties meet half-way.

A baby is too big a decision for one partner alone to decide on. And it is a decision that could have a huge impact on the relationship. Differences on this have the potential to rock the marriage. If the compromise is one-sided, the bottled up bitterness will corrode the marriage like acid. They need to communicate openly and honestly on this, share all their innermost fears and desires and then try and see how they can come up with a solution that keeps both happy.

Really excited and waiting to see how AshNi resolve this one!

i agree Sujatha. this is a big issue between them, and keeping it bottled up is like a pressure cooker on overload, sooner or later it will explode.

Sujata: u hv put this baby thing issue in really good way this time.. Yep! Better sort it out with open discussion rather keep it hanging.. I feel ashu didn't want to bring the baby wish on the table yesterday during their romantic moment bt nidhi said aapko kya chahiye? Since ashu almost hs everything with the exception of his own child, he probably hd no other idea wat to say her, till he corrected it with an romantic gesture on her.. Bt, i feel cvs will surely drag this matter in this whole month...

Originally posted by: Libra

i agree Sujatha. this is a big issue between them, and keeping it bottled up is like a pressure cooker on overload, sooner or later it will explode.

both of them need to sit and talk about it, last time nidhi gave her reasons and they were very valid. now its ashus turn. he needs to sit her down and give her his perspective also. and being nidhi, she will understand, i have no doubt about that. i think at the end of this debate we will be seeing nidhi trying for a baby.😊

The perfect analogy, Anu...indeed a pressure cooker waiting to explode...and yes, Nidhi is bound to get his perspective sooner or later..and hopefully they will meet half-way!

Originally posted by: ithasme

Sujata: u hv put this baby thing issue in really good way this time.. Yep! Better sort it out with open discussion rather keep it hanging.. I feel ashu didn't want to bring the baby wish on the table yesterday during their romantic moment bt nidhi said aapko kya chahiye? Since ashu almost hs everything with the exception of his own child, he probably hd no other idea wat to say her, till he corrected it with an romantic gesture on her.. Bt, i feel cvs will surely drag this matter in this whole month...

You are right, Harshal...it was certainly not a planned move on Ashu's part...but when she asked him what he wanted most, he could not keep himself from saying it...and yes, he did try to soften it by saying those beautiful words thereafter...making it clear that while the baby was his heart's desire, he could live without it but not without her!

Sujata: yeah! Ashu knws that nidhi gets depressed whenever the baby thing comes into play btween their talks.. Bt am happy that he corrected it with romantic gesture, it also shows hw much improved ashu hs become as far as knowing nidhi.. Slowly bt steadily he hs come to this point..

Yes... if there is an issue.. one should definitely ..make all efforts to address it and try and resolve it as amicably as possible...!

Originally posted by: Armu4eva

Yes... if there is an issue.. one should definitely ..make all efforts to address it and try and resolve it as amicably as possible...!

However.. i still am not convinced about Ashus almost stubborn demand of wanting a baby ... yes i understand his need for a family connect.. [I had raised the orphan angle long back] but .. i dun think its too late in the day for him! Had he told her that.. he wuld support her for her internship and thereafter they can focus on making a family.. i did be en the happiest!

Regarding yday.. i found it a bit of 'rang mein bhang' sort of thing.. when he brought his 'wish' on the table.. but i agree.. it was gonna b a point of contention for AshNi . .sooner or later..!

Looking forward to how the matter is resolved..! I have a faint hint. .lets c how it goes!

Tanu, that was my whole point...be it post internship or post PG or whatever, talk it out and resolve...because this will come back to bite you if you ignore it now..

And, humein bhi toh batao...about this hint of yours...hint ka mazaa akele hi kyun le rahi ho?

Originally posted by: kaks0211

This matter needs to be discussed thoroughly by both of them once and for all. Else it will keep propping up again and again and that too like how it did yesterday - when they were having a totally romantic time...Both should frankly speak out their points of view and arrive at a mutual solution. Of course I am speaking of an ideal situation. In real life also we tend to avoid discussions on topics which we are uncomfortable with & this is happening to Ashni also

After two decades of marriage, let me tell you that this putting on hold does not last beyond days...one of us is always waiting for the other to bring the topic up...there is mutual sulking in the meantime,. then some heavy duty arguments before one of us gives in or we manage to arrive at a compromise!

Also it is a matter of personalities...I am the kind of person who has to resolve the issue one way or the other no matter how thorny it is...can't lose sleep over it! If AShutosh is anything like me, then God help Nidhi...at least that is what my husband would say!