why we give so much imp to ruthless custs: VB Pg 5

why we give so much importance to ruthless customs??

i always ask myself this question.i think as a person every one has full right to do whatever he or she wants to do. who r d others to stop them or force them to do whatever elders said.i think as human being we all r same. then why this bifurcation when it comes to freedom thing?? why men have rights to make money and women don't have that freedom in many states.
i think every human is single as we born alone and die alone. no one come with us and no one go with us. we have only one life. and this life is so beautiful. many things r here to learn, to understand, to do. then why any person don't have that chance to do whatever he or she wants???
this nature is equal for everyone. for human,animals,birds every living thing. they give same water,air,light,fruits etc. then why only human interfere in others life. animals and birds give all freedom to their babies ( sorry i don't know what they called😆) they not even live together.
this is only with us people only make everything difficult,ruthless,painful. i am totally against all this.
who said this if u don't live with ur parents or in joint family that means u don't love them or don't respect them. this is not necessary in fact u can maintain relations very nicely when u live separately.
i am not saying on one has to live in joint family but if u get satisfaction,love,respect then it's ok otherwise it's totally hopeless for me at least.

I don't think it's the issue of men vs women right . Because if that ws true then we would not have seen women working at different levels in India. Infact this is custom of personal convenience. If senior Schndia had papad factory he would have asked all the women to work regardless of any relationship . What he can't tolerate is, being in his status has his family member going and getting paid by someone else.
It is his prestige issue. He thinks he can employ people but his own family members should not go and seek job outside his domain. That is why Partik who wants to be cook and to keep him self busy in family business. maybe Yash had same plight and so is the elder son.

Originally posted by: gshow2011

I don't think it's the issue of men vs women right . Because if that ws true then we would not have seen women working at different levels in India. Infact this is custom of personal convenience. If senior Schndia had papad factory he would have asked all the women to work regardless of any relationship . What he can't tolerate is, being in his status has his family member going and getting paid by someone else.
It is his prestige issue. He thinks he can employ people but his own family members should not go and seek job outside his domain. That is why Partik who wants to be cook and to keep him self busy in family business. maybe Yash had same plight and so is the elder son.

that's what i said this is only we people do. this ego, prestige,status,anger,convenience issue. these all not in other living things(animals,birds etc.)we can't live peacefully. we like to interfere in others life.

I don't even think it's an issue of Joint family. There are plenty of joint families which is not ruled with an iron fist, and people do have freedom, independence and the right to voice an opinion.

Originally posted by: aditibd

why we give so much importance to ruthless customs??

i always ask myself this question.i think as a person every one has full right to do whatever he or she wants to do. who r d others to stop them or force them to do whatever elders said.i think as human being we all r same. then why this bifurcation when it comes to freedom thing?? why men have rights to make money and women don't have that freedom in many states.
i think every human is single as we born alone and die alone. no one come with us and no one go with us. we have only one life. and this life is so beautiful. many things r here to learn, to understand, to do. then why any person don't have that chance to do whatever he or she wants???
this nature is equal for everyone. for human,animals,birds every living thing. they give same water,air,light,fruits etc. then why only human interfere in others life. animals and birds give all freedom to their babies ( sorry i don't know what they called😆) they not even live together.
this is only with us people only make everything difficult,ruthless,painful. i am totally against all this.
who said this if u don't live with ur parents or in joint family that means u don't love them or don't respect them. this is not necessary in fact u can maintain relations very nicely when u live separately.
i am not saying on one has to live in joint family but if u get satisfaction,love,respect then it's ok otherwise it's totally hopeless for me at least.

I agree with you totally, yours is a wonderful and beautiful post😊 and your thoughts are truly amazing😊 Wish everybody had thoughts like yours😊
😊

Originally posted by: likarsh

I don't even think it's an issue of Joint family. There are plenty of joint families which is not ruled with an iron fist, and people do have freedom, independence and the right to voice an opinion.

The grown up, married children are adults. Yeah the older generation may disagree or make a big issue of things. But at the end of the day, people all actually have their say and people work together, and the couples or grown, adult children do make their own decisions and choices.

Joint family doesn't mean the elders rule and everyone listens. Or that the younger generation need to take permission from the older generation. Yes, there are disagreements, difference of opinion and such. But even so, people do have the right to make and take their own decisions.

that's what i said in post. if u get satisfaction,love,respect,freedom then it's ok to live with joint family but if u have to adjust and sacrifice everything for them then what is d use of this joint family?
every person has right to live for him/herself. to do whatever he or she wants to do. bcs this life is very beautiful. many things r here to learn, to do. and if u not take chance then it's totally ur loss.

Originally posted by: JanakiRaghunath

Respecting elders is not a ruthless custom.

I agree 100% that when the elders are like the senior Scindiyas, children should put their foot down and stand up for their rights, but when the elders are decent people like the Dubeys, respect should certainly be given to them and their childre and grandchildren should definitely give weight to their opinion, because they have seen life far longer than them and can offer sound advice. One should not be so independent that they become arrogant of their independence and feel that no one has the right to say no to them.

We should use our brains to determine whether what elders tell us is morally right or not. Not all elders are good people, as we can sadly see in Punar Vivah, but when we know that our elders truly do have our good at heart, then we should respect them and let them have a say in our life. After all, our parents gave birth to us. Without them, we would never exist, so we a married couple should always give importance to their parents and in-laws when they are good, decent people.

Also, like people have said, elders in a joint family are not tyrants. Often, decisions are made together in joint families and ever member compromises some of their interests to make the family run smoothly. Everyone pitches in with the housework so that all of it does not fall on one person, and the people who work, whether it be men or women, share their savings with the whole family so that they all can be financially sounds.

A joint family can be a very beautiful system when all the members of the family truly love and respect each other. When the elders love their children, give them some independence and freedom to live their love, and offer advice when it is necessary, and when the youngsters give proper respect to elders and assist them in old age, life runs smoothly, but when the elders are like Gayatri, Bua, and Suraj Pratap, that's when problems arise in a joint family.

Our traditions are not ruthless. They are a way of life for it to run smoothly, but when people take advantage of the traditions to suit their purposes, that's when they become a problem.

that's what i mentioned in my post also. may be u didn't read that fully. i am saying same thing. if u get satisfaction,love,respect,freedom then it's perfectly fine to live in joint family. bcs ur loved one give u whatever u want whether it is permission or advise. when u need them. i am talking abt rights which elders think that this is their right on their sons or dil's as if they r puppets for them whom they want to move here and there as per their convenience.

Originally posted by: samantha1987200

I agree with you totally, yours is a wonderful and beautiful post😊 and your thoughts are truly amazing😊 Wish everybody had thoughts like yours😊
😊

hey dear thanks a looot for liking my post. thank god at least one person understand what i am trying to say. i am talking abt in general human and other animals tendency. what they do and what we people do. but some people r here talking abt respect and live with joint family is not ruthless custom. but i am thinking far away from all these human made customs.which people don't want to understand.

Originally posted by: aditibd

hey dear thanks a looot for liking my post. thank god at least one person understand what i am trying to say. i am talking abt in general human and other animals tendency. what they do and what we people do. but some people r here talking abt respect and live with joint family is not ruthless custom. but i am thinking far away from all these human made customs.which people don't want to understand.

Yeah, people are born free and have a right to live with freedom... God did not make all these rituals, customs and false practices... culture is manmade ... life can be beautiful if given a chance... Culture although not completely negative has a couple of negatives, it can be very injust and it becomes the root cause of so many social, emotional and psychological problems. i have also that at times people tend to use culture and religion to justify the injustices . and although alot people might not agree with me... but its a fact that Indian culture is pretty insenisitive towards women in general ... the best philosophy is to live and let live... :)