One-Shot World: Adi~Pinky: Pg.1; Maan~Geet: Pg.4

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Jenifer

@Jenifer.

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#31

Criticisms allowed, right? Well, here we go. Don't worry, no major criticisms coming up, it's just that it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. Practice will make perfect, ey? Plus, the storyline was too reminiscent of the poolside party in the actual show - inspiration drawn from there? Was hoping for something a lil more original.

But, I can't deny that a amused smile did creep up on a few occasions, the below line defo being one:

"...Cat fight! This is gonna be fun. Maan grinned..."

Besides that, it was a great one shot. You know I love your writings so no complaints there. All the best with the other requests!

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hindu4lyf

@hindu4lyf

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#32

I completely agree with Nikki! You really are some sort of a magician with words.

Loved this update and I hope you update soon :)

This bit made me laugh:

""Chaanta laga... Hai laga...""😆

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Sanzy|Sanz

@felicitysmoak.

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

#33

awesome os

loved it

manisha made me laugh

con soon

thanks 4 da pm

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Saz

@Chotii

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#34

Sorry for sucha late response... Ab kya kaan pakar ke maafi maango titli?? Galti bhi ki, aur sazaa bhi mil gayi.. how? well cos er.. I missed out on reading this delicious bit of writing earlier!!! Am still actually half lost in what just happened... in what I've just read... awwww WOW, WOW, WOW!!!!!!

my gosh, you know what, your OS once again reminds me of the wasted potential of all these awesome characters in Geet, that just have Not been done justice with. It's So frustrating, I don't really wanna get into that because I'd probably go on forever - but I must say, I felt there was SO much scope for a really rocking track to take place with Romeo-manishaaaa-Pandey'Ji's entry.. but the characters were wasted. I am So So So So SO HAPPY that you used them in Such an AWESOME manner in this Tia!! You're a superstar! This was FULL ON FUN at its best!
You've got such an engrossing style of writing that this was just fantastic to read! And er... ABSOLUTELY.. HIL-AR-EEE-USSSS! It was Damn Funny Tia! You've gotta write something romantically funny again - don't you dare undermine your potential as a writer, you're FREAKIN' AMAZING, no matter what emotion you depict!

I have to seperate what I will say next from everything else... basically.. it's still hovering in my mind... one of my favourite lines has got to be Romeo's

"Chaanta Lagaaaa"
🤪
LMAO! Awww Tia... that was tooo funny! LOVED it!

I love the way you stuck with the main idea of making this comical, yet brought in jealousy and HOTness in it too. Man, if THIS actually took place... this woulda been one epi I'd watch a million times over! (I will always have this to read a million times over, so I can't complain! 😉)

What you've done with Maaneet is just.... waah waah waah! LOVED every bit of their takraar, and helplessness like crazy! oh man... it was
> > > > 😍 ☺️ 😲 😡 🤣 < < < < and so much more!!!!

I just Have Got To Let You Know... my titli.. you are one fabulous writer... like, fabulous is of course an understatement but I genuinely can't find the right word / best way to put it. How do I express just how outstanding you are at expressing every emotion and action...?? SIMPLY STUNNING piece of work..! Uff... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

Saz

x x x x x x x x

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Saz

@Chotii

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#35

Kuriye!!!

Where have you been flying off to recently huh??

Wapas aake kuch nayi kahaani post karo naa plzzzzzzz *hint hint my request* 😳 😆

xxxxxx

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Vardah

@vardah23

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#36

continue the maneet OS please!

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Tia

@tes_v1

Inactive

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#37

^^Ah! I know but I barely find time to update my existing FFs, I'm afraid this would be neglected too.

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P. K. Rathore

@tinkerbe11

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#38

I'm here!! And I'm mega sorry about the delay, I can't get anywhere on time these days I swear man.

Okay so let's get down to business, 'true love starts somewhere' so true! 😆 First of all I gotta say awesome work, totally enthralled by your choice of words, extremely detailed and everything you need when you don't have a clue about the story or it's characters. 😉

When I read something I usually go into somewhat of a trance you could say, provided that the story itself is written so well that my imagination is bound to it's surroundings given in the description, which you totally nailed! Fantastic hun! You're good, and you know what I'm pretty sure you know it too! 😉

But you know what the downfall is, that I still don't know what the hell Aditya and Pinky look like, when I type in Geet - Kareena comes up lol.

Anyways, back to commenting...

The fear from Maan Singh Khurana is captured well within the actions of Adi throughout the OS , and I liked the ease that was gradually released as I scrolled down to read further, subtle humour between Adi's conversation with Pinky was cute. It moved on swiftly, without forgetting the seriousness of the situation, well handled babe!

The sweetest thing about this one shot was how Adi's attitude makes changes for his potential love - I'm assuming. From totally caring about the way things should be done for better impression to stay on the good side of his boss, he was by the end of it all willing to sacrifice a well earned position in the space of a single heartbeat, that's just too sweet hun, and the best part of it was the basic circumstances it derived from, no overly-sentimental outbreak to blame his possibly irrational decision on, if his 'talk' failed.

Overall it was a pleasant read, your ability to move the story ahead is applauded to the max, it's clear you're much more than talented then you make out 😛, and I'm glad to have finally read something you've written!

Luv you loads, and sorry for the delay, 😳.

Tink

Edited by tinkerbe11 - 13 years ago

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One-Shot World: Adi~Pinky: Pg.1; Maan~Geet: Pg.4 - Page 4

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