Posted:
An issue that has been going around in my head past several days - my contention : Both Indira and Rishi need to grow up in different ways before they are ready for a sustainable, healthy relationship. Interesting thing is both can help each other, if they allow it to happen
Truth versus lying, people skills
Rishi:He appears to be a victim of his environment where he dealt with parental neglect and abuse using humor as well as protective lying/hiding the truth, especially in situations where active telling of truth/being open will result in pain for him as well as the recipient.He has not yet learnt the lesson of "Tell truth and Gods bedamned". His first instinct is to hide it. Take the simple example of not telling Sharmas of his being disowned. Indira caught it and rightly gave him the correct advice to not tell a lie, even if it is a small one."Oh what a tangled web we weave When first we practice to deceive." really ought to be drummed into his head.We all lie to some extent, sometimes to save face, sometimes to protect other people. But Rishi has gotten too glib about it and lies sometimes roll too easily off his tongue. It is hard to build trust in this situationIndiraIndira is exactly the opposite, perhaps to the other extreme where she on slightest issue, she goes for the jugular and shreds the recipient's ego. That is hard to take. She needs to learn that truth is important, but so is the other being. Just for fact that they are fellow humans, not to mention your relatives or your co-workers, certain amount of respect for their ego is imperative. Constant rubbing of the fact that they are good for nothing, possess no sense, or are selfish; and that too in a very sharp manner is not conducive to people respecting you and making an honest effort to fulfill your expectations. Everywhere she is feared, but not respected. She makes people tremble, but does not inspire people, nor do they voluntarily do stuff for her.This trait is actually very common. At work, no matter how good of a worker (in my profession, an engineer is), if he/she creates fear, lack of confidence instead of inspiring people, nurturing them etc, that person always remains an engineer and never moves up the totem pole. I, myself, have had to bring outside counselors to help deal with the fallout from a couple of Indira clones.Rishi gets that, and in many ways tried to show this to Indira - from Mandira episode where he cautioned Indira on the perils of dictating marriage to Mandira, to recently when he advised her on dealing with her mother.
Valuing Love
Rishi:Even though he had miserable childhood and an absolutely horrendous family, he has shown he hungers for and treasures love. He walked away from obscene amount of money when he left his family for Indira, especially when he did not know whether Indira will ever be able to look past his Diwan identity and forgive him to the extent of loving him back.That is no laughing matter. Very few people can do that.He has also shown that matters big or small, he will move heaven and earth to sweep her troubles away. It is another matter that sometimes he does it well, but sometimes there is negative fallout from his well-intentioned efforts.He also places love before his ego. That is how he has been able to give Indira her space, as well as ignore Indira's sharp putdowns.Con: He, perhaps, does not trust the power of love. That is why he could not tell Indira the truth about his identity or Vidit. Love is not a standalone thing. It has to be supported by things like sharing of one's own past, one's mistakes, one's vulnerabilities, opening yourself up for hurt etc.
Financial ResponsibilityIndira:She has as a lot of distrust of love. Being loved and loving others means one hurts and one forgives. Indira has been so hurt that she has closed herself off completely. She opened a little for Rishi and then clammed up so quickly at the first indication of trouble. Her thoughts were still of her own self when Rishi's identity came to the fore. She was not even seen contemplating about Rishi's predicament, giving him the benefit of doubt for even one moment. In one instant he transformed from a lover to a psycho who was capable of putting in a spy camera in her most private space. That is not deep love, perhaps more of infatuation.
In life, many many times loved ones let us down the most. That is when the strength of love kicks in and we pick up the pieces to rebuild a bigger & better relationships. Ofcourse some stuff like infidelity is really un-forgivable. But Rishi hiding his identity did not belong in that category.Now about Vidit - part of it is forgivable like if Rishi was responsible for his accident (forgiveness will be based upon looking at Rishi's attempt for atonement. He could have easily given money to the family and moved on with his life. Instead he chose the hard route to live with the family and easen their burdens a bit). Part that will take longer is where Rishi impersonated Vidit on the phone with Indira. We can understand his motivations, but forgiveness will take a while.Indira recently said to Rishi "He can test her love, if he wants to". I think this will be her test. Love is not just for good times, when loved one is always good. It is also for times when loved one lets us down. I want Indira to be hurt, but at least attempt to understand Rishi's motivations. Even if forgiveness takes time, and grief takes precedence, I wish her to not let this make her bitter and get all clammed up again and go into her "ball busting" mode with ego shredder firmly embedded in her language.Which brings me back to RishiRishiHe really, really needs to get that small lies told daily, no matter for what reason, build an image of untrustworthiness. He needs to loose the glib image soon.He also needs to build a habit of owning his actions, good or bad. It is not enough to blame circumstances. Like blaming his friends for his being drunk. Worst was when he left Indira holding the bag during the pregnancy episode.
RishiRishi may be big on taking responsibility for Vidit's care, and Sharma household when money was flowing. Now that the reserves are gone, he needs to start getting serious about his career.
Thank you for reading this stream of though. Additions/subtractions/critique welcome
MTA:
Having slept on this issue, I thought perhaps it would be a good idea to have this as a live thread with a study of characters in HD. It is not meant for discussion of current tracks, but how the characters are revealed.
Hindi TV Shows
Web Series
CID
