Ardhangini Abhay-Phulwa ShortStory updtd part2 pg2 - Page 2

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aroojm thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#11
Heyyy... i don't know what to say you did an amazing job truly enjoyed reading your work.. you captured the whole meaning Ardhangini soo nicely... you captured both of their feelings for each other soo beautifully... and i just loved abhay's dilemma.. even the loved the whole saree scene.. very nice written.. please doo continue.. ohh and could you please send me pm when ever u update thank you sooo muchh... 😃
madhubansen thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#12
wonderful...touching...simply heart tugging...

love it...plzzz PM me...

MysticAura thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#13

thanks every1 fr d comments...sorry fr being late was neck deep with work...promise to update sooner next time..probably this week😊

hey...i want your honest opinions...i have included the song"in lamhon" courtesy Jodha akhbar...wasnt plannin to include it initially...hope it wasnt corny...i put it just because it suddenly started playin in my head while writing the update...n ya ...plz comment...shows my writing is appreciated😊
Edited by MysticAura - 13 years ago
MysticAura thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#14
II KARNESHU MANTHRI II

'Haan,aate hain,baba..pata nahin kaam ke vakt kaun mehmaan aa jaate hain'exclaimed Phulwa as she went to open the main-door.It was a bright Sunday noon at Thakur household.'Courier..madam..ACP Abhay Thakur ke liye courier hain.'A young guy in his early 20s stood holding what seemed like a parcel of important document.'Haan'de do hum unki patni hai'''yahaan sahii kijiye'.A dumb-struck Phulwa didn't know what to do.She was 'unpadh' as the world said..How could she sign'when she couldn't even read a single alphabet leave alone writing.'Humein'padhna-likhna nahi aata'..'Kya ACP ki biwi unpadh hai''retorted the guy'It was rude the way the guy spoke but Phulwa was used to it.Yet she couldn't help but feel bad'That was unfortunately the grim reality of her life.'Ae'Teri himmat kaise hui meri biwi ko unpadh kehte hue???'said an angered Abhay holding the guys collar'Nothing angered him in life now than anyone degrading or even insulting his wife.'Chodo'Abhay'jaane do usse'..'Phulwa placed her hand on Abhays hand and nodded at him to leave the guy.'Jao'.aainda yahaan dikhaaye diye toh haddi-pasli tod doonga'he signed and banged the door on the scared guys face.

'Ufff'itna gussa'Hum khana banane jaa rahe hai..aap bhi jayie'Phulwa was just about to leave when something transpired in Abhay and he held her hand.How could anyone just get away mocking his lady-love.Not anymore''Tum he aaj se koi unpadh nahi kahega'Main padhaunga tumhe ..aajse..abse.. baitho'"par,Abhay...ab...Ab toh humein khana bhi banana hai.'..'Hum tumhein ab padhayenge...aur khana toh'...Abhay suddenly stopped which made Phulwa wonder what was he upto.'Gauri...'called Abhay.'Haan jiju...''Gauri..kya tum khana banaogi.Humein Phulwa ke saath kaam hai.''Haan ..kyun nahi jiju...aap befikar hokar jiji ko le jaayie...aap kahoge toh raat ka khana bhi hum bana denge...'giggled Gauri...aha..there goes again Gauri with her double meaning innuendo phrases...'Gauri..tu ab...'Phulwa retorted.'Haan ja rahi hoon jiji'.Gauri left and the couple settled on the nearby couch.
'Hmm...chalo shuru karte hain...Ab hum tumhein Hindi bhasha ke svar aur vyanjan padhaenge...'as Abhay scribled something on the paper which was quite na'ive to Phulwa.How would she know..she had never been to school.As a child she was pretty scrupulous...She loved to know about new things...but alas...only if her parents would have sent her to school...They were poor and had to work really hard to make ends meet..But she was a happy kid who loved her neem tree,loved playing with her friends and loved roaming in the village..Before she could attain maturity disaster struck her family and Thakur killed her whole family.Years went by and the doll in her hand was replaced by guns,rifles...And then she grew old and met the love of her life,Abhay.'Aur ye hai "uuu" ' said her husband writing almost an alien script for Phulwa.It was quite an unusual sight of a husband teaching his wife.'Humara pyaar bohot bemisaal hai' she often said Thakurain.Indeed it was unique'Love isnt just about holding hands and proclaiming love for the other'Its about holding hands and helping the other to grow as an individual.Love isnt just about seeing life through rose tinted glass.In todays world where love lives off on instant gratification,Phulwa and Abhays love was truly an exception.If she grew as an individual..it was all because of Abhays love.That was the beauty of their love..so surreal..so enigmatic..Life had suddenly become so beautiful'Abhay..ya..thats the name'Phulwa was oblivious of the surroundings and a drop of tear rolled down her cheeks.'Phulwa'kya hua Phulwa'.tum'.'said Abhay as she was suddenly pulled off from her trance.'kuch nahi'..voh 'ab hum likhne ki koshish karte hain'.'''haan ye sahi rahega'.humne tumhe "aa se aii" tak likhna bataya'ab tum koshish karlo'kya pata hum jyada likhenge toh humari biwi uske sapno ki duniya mein fir se kho jaayegi'.."Abhay winked and his wife blushingly wondered about the mental telepathy they shared.'hum aate hai'..tum likhna'

Half an hour flew and she was engrossed 'ye hai ai'.aur ye hai aiii'aur ho gayi meri likhai''grinned Phulwa like a proud schoolgirl ready to show her homework to the teacher.'Jaake humaare masterji ko dikha dete hain'.'The crude stamp of "being illeterate" was slowly fading and the joy of learning started filling Phulwas heart.'Abhay'humne'ye likh diya''Abhay smiled a sad faint smile and his other half immediately knew something was wrong.'Kya baat hai,Abhay'..'Voh'badi haveli ke kaagzaat aaye hai'Baba'mera matlab hai Thakur ki maut vahin hui thi'aur voh ghatnasthal police ki giraft mein tha..Ab jab case solve ho gaya'court se bhi NOC mil gaya..ab hum vahaan jaakar reh sakte hain..kyunki voh humaari maa ne humein virasat mein di' ,sighed Abhay.'Hum duvidha mein hai,Phulwa..hum vahaan nahi jaana chahte'pata nahi voh haveli mein kitne masoome ke khilaaf shadyantra rache gaye hain'.kitne atyachar hue hai''par voh humaari maa ki aakhri nishaani hai''Abhay said'.he had still not forgotten the incident..'Abhay aapka dil kya kehta hai,..?kya aap badi haveli mein jaana chahte hain?jo aapka dil kehta hai aapko vahi karna chahiye''Phulwa gave her opinion on this matter.'Hummein us haveli mein nahin jaana hain..jahaan Thakurain pe itne zulm hue'Hummein uss haveli ki aahat se hi ghinn aati hai'' 'Toh..hum nahin jaayenge vahaan.' 'Par ye ghar toh bhaade ka hai'.Humaara khudka koi ghar nahin hai'.voh ek haveli thi ..voh bhi maa se humein virasat mein mili'.'Abhay said sadly. 'Ye ghar humaara hai..kyunki ise zindagi toh humne di hai'.Ek ghar usme rehne valon ke gunnon ko sama leta hai.Aapne,humne,Dadi,Thakurain aur Gauri ne ise ghar banaya'Toh yeh ghar humaara hua ki nahi'..?Aur baat aati hai..humaare apne ghar ki'toh mujhe poora vishwas hai ki voh din door nahi hai'hummein aap par poora vishwas hai'.'saying this she clamped his hand on her hand.

In lamho ke daaman mein

In lamho ke daaman mein, paakeza se rishtey hain'

In the intimacy of these moments, there are some pure relationships'.The gesture of Phulwa holding Abhays hand showed her trust on him..Thats what a man needed in his life'.trust,companionship from his lover..Now no peak is unattainable'no joy unreachable'.A new relation is evolved'..relation based on trust,love''

Koi kalma mohabbat ka, dohratay farishtay hain
Khamosh si hain zameen, hairaan sa falak hain
Ek noor hi noor sa ab aasaman talak hain''.

The universe is a testimony to their love'..the evolution from a friend to a foe to a lover'.

Everything is quite albeit the resonating heartbeats of the lovers'..Abhay couldn't believe someone could love him so much''.could trust him so much'.They say love is the best thing that can happen to anyone'.then he couldn't understand why'But..the mysteries of nature are slowly unravelling..Phulwa is the best thing happened to him'.

Nagme hi nagme hain jaagti soti fizaon mein

Husn hain saari adaaon mein

Ishq hain jaisi hawaon mein

The melody of the surroundings overwhelms them...Their silence sings the melody of a thousand promises to the other'.The beauty of their souls graces the situation''Truly'love is in the air and the lovers are lost in their paradise''.

Kaisa yeh Ishq hain, kaisa yeh khwab hain
Kaise jazbaat ka umda sailaab hai

Din badley, raatein badli, baatein badli, jeene ke andaaz hi badle hain

Love's such an enigma'.It fills the heart with a plethora of emotions'.adoration,trust,pain, desire..It starts pulling the heart towards its twin'It wants to be one'from mind,body and soul'.Abhay couldn't understand what was happening'..He suddenly lost his senses'..His heart craved to be one with its lover'.True'some things are beyond science and you couldn't explain why..and this is one of the moments'.Of days trying to shield away from his desire to be close to Phulwa 'Abhay had to finally give in'.give in to his heart'''

Kyu hain yeh aarzoo, kyu hai yeh justju
Kyu dil bechain hain, kyu dil betaab hain

He pulled her close'Phulwa was taken aback'but even she had to comply to her hearts orders..Her heart too wanted to beat with his..They both seemed to be lost in the moment'..Everything stopped'Time stopped'..as if they were to witness the most magnificent phenomena...Abhay was lost in her beauty'..He held her face with both his hands..Everything was so perfect..her eyes'her lips,her nose..her lips..she had to be his'A strong urge overtook him and he inched closer to her lips..Her lips parted and her eyes closed'Tears of happiness started overwhelming her..Her hands reached for his hair'..And''

'Jiji'khana lag gaya hai'.'exclaimed Gauri and the lovers were brought back to reality'.Phulwa opened her eyes.Abhay immediately pulled back''How could you take advantage of her again''screamed a voice from his head'As he suddenly remembered everything'his stint as Shatru..his deception,her arrest,her tears everything'Though they loved each other but still the voice made him remember his wrong doings..Yet..today he got carried away 'carried away because he wasn't Shatru..he was Abhay..The Abhay who loved Phulwa whole-heartedly'.'Hum 'jaate hain...'Phulwa couldn't hide her blush'.Her cheeks were flushed and the smile refused to leave her lips'.'Phulwa'.ek minute'.'.Abhay decided to tell her about his guilt. 'Haan'.'her eyes lowered'she couldn't look at him in the eye.She was embarassed'No matter how ferocious her personality was'still she was a woman'"Haya" defines a womans character and she surely possessed it'.

'Nahi'voh hum kehna chahte they ki tumhaare akshar kaafi bade-bade hai'.Itne bade likhogi toh hummein toh kitaabon ki dukaan hi khareedni padegi'.'he lightened the situation realising this wasn't the right time to talk about it..'Kya..Phulwa was taken aback'for a moment she couldn't understand what Abhay was talking about..It was only when he wavered the book did she realise that he was talking about her hand-writing in the book.'Humaare akshar khaate 'peete ghar se aate hain.'She laughed and even Abhay laughed..That was the beauty of Abhay and Phulwas relation'..'Shukriya''.Abhay said and a still-laughing puzzled Phulwa looked at him''Shukriya'kyunki tum humein dilaasa deti ho ki hum kaamyaabhi paa sakte hain..Tum humaare ghar ko bhi ache se sambhal leti ho'Tum toh Home-minister ho''.'Kya'"hoom-mee"?'Mera matlab hai grah-manthri''''Aapka dhanyavaad'..smiled Phulwa..She was truly fulfilling the duties of a wife this one being

Karneshu manthri(Advises like a minister)

'Jiji aa rahi ho kya hum hi vahan aa jaaye''Gauri screamed once more and the couple realised it was time they went for lunch...

Edited by MysticAura - 13 years ago
aroojm thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#15
Heyy yayyy you updated the second part it was really nice.. i really did like how you included the song.. i can just imagine this song playing as a background with these two deep in each others thoughts 😍 i can't wait for the third part now...
beebutterfly thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#16
Wow, it was sooo beautiful😊 Thank you for writing this wonderful piece and plzzz continue!
vita93 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#17
Wow!👏👏 That was a great write-up!:))

Loved how Abhay took the helm and started to teach her, and on the flip-side Phulwa helps him with his emotional turmoil. These two are truly made for one another:)

The best were their interactions and their dialogues, and ooof, Abhay really couldn't handle himself this time!😆

Yet..today he got carried away 'carried away because he wasn't Shatru..he was Abhay..The Abhay who loved Phulwa whole-heartedly'.'

Beautifully written, it really reflects the truth of his situation, that he's no longer pretending to love him because he has really fallen in love with her...

Great job and please do continue soon!:)


mimi_s thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#18
Before I comment on your post let me jst say that I am glad u r back cause I was really wondering what had happened to u😊😊...and even glad to know that the next part will b posted sometime soon😊
Grt job once again...U have included so many diff emotions in this and all fit in nicely...we all want Phulwa to gt some education so loved the part of abhay teaching her...love the way u portray Abhays
dilema...it jst shows what a good person he actually is from inside...and the way he thought that he had again taken advantage of phulwa after kissing her...jst shows the depth of his charector
Well done👏👏..keep writing😊
bindya_91 thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#19
please update i cant wait to read more

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