MANVEER - please come back (chap 10 - pg 18) - Page 5

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S.H.I.E.L.D. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#41
Ah, my savior!

Uday's rant to Unnati ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Udayveer in the show let his sister off too easy. 😒 so I can't help but feel you one more ⭐️ and a 🤗.

I like your gradual progressive writing. It's nice. 😊

Do PM when you update the next part - would love to read it!

TC.


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Posted: 13 years ago
#42

thanks a lot for all the comments guys😊

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'



Uday had left for Jaigard about 9 days ago and he still hadn't come back. I don't know why but I am missing him. The day he had left he called Mom to inform that he had reached safely and since then he hasn't called back. He didn't even call Unnati so she was extremely worried. Vijay bhai and Jai were worried as well but rarely showed it though I once heard J telling Vijay that Uday had never done this before which made me a little worried as well. I don't know why but I think he is purposely doing this ' of course he is and I don't like this at all. I wonder what's on his mind. I didn't meet Akash in those 9 days because Mata ji & Mom were worried about Uday so I had to stay with them & also that halkat had increased my security'I couldn't walk 2 steps out of the mahal without 10 guards & 5 maids following me so I really wanted him to return quickly. I did tell akash about the developments around me but I just couldn't tell him that I was worried for Uday.

Some hours later *-*-*-*

Unnati came to visit me. Today, ever since I first met her I can say today she looks horrible. Her eyes are swollen ' maybe she cried early in the morning, there are dark circles under her eyes ' didn't sleep well, her voice also seems distant ' she is here physically but not mentally. I really can't see her like this so I silently played to god

"Bhagwanji, please uday ko wapas bhejo, Unnati ki ye haalat nahi dekhi jaati. (God, please send Uday back I can't see Unnati like this)

Anjali, a maid came to tell us that dinner was ready so we had to dining table.

Komal: Maa Saheb'kya uday ne aapko phone kiya (MS, did uday call you)----I SAW UNNATI LOOK HOPEFUL AFTER SO MANY DAYS - PLEASE SAY YES MATA JI----humme bahut chinta ho rahi hai (I am getting worried)----ME 2----

DS: Nahi Komal (no Komal) ----I SAW UNNATI'S FACE FALL----humme bhi bahut chinta ho rahi hai pahele toh aisa nahi kiya Uday ne (I am also getting worried he has never done this before)'teen din ho gaye Uday ka ek phone nahi aaya (Uday hasn't called us for 3 days) ----3 DAYS 'THAT'S NOTHING MATA JI THE GUY HASN'T CALLED HIS SISTER SINCE THE DAY HE LEFT NOT TO MENTION THE DAY BEFORE WHEN HE GAVE HER SILENT TREATMENT'UNNATI'S IS SHOCKED, HOPEFUL AND WORRIED AT THE SAME TIME WHILE J & VJ EXCHANGE GLANCES WHICH MEANT NO ONE KNEW THAT UDAY DID TALK TO MOM, MAHARAJ JI AND MATAJI ----

Brij: MS, Komal, aap dono bekar mein pareshaan ho rahi hai'uday ab bachcha nahi hai (MS, Komal you both are getting worried for no reason'Uday is not a kid anymore)

Komal: Par (But)

Uday: Haan beautiful, uncle brij theek keh rahe hai hum bachche nahi rahe (yes beautiful, uncle brij is right, I am not a kid anymore)'plus, itna chinta karengi toh face pe wrinkles ho jaege (plus, if you worry too much then you will get wrinkles)

Everyone got up, Mom was the first one to hug Uday and he in return gave her a bouquet, he did the same with Mata ji and Unnati. I must admit he gave Unnati, J, VJ and me a nice shock but it wasn't over

UV: Sorry Choti, humne tumhe bahut pareshaan kiya na (Sorry sis, I really troubled you, didn't I?)'really sorry' dekho tumne aapna kya haal bana liya hai, ab toh koi ye bhi nahi keh paega ki tum meri bahen ho (look at what you have done to yourself, no one would now be able to say that you are my sis) (Uday teased Unnati & they both laughed)

U: Maafi toh aap ko ek hi sharat pe milegi dada (I will forgive you but on 1 condition, Bro)

UV: And what's that

U: Aap kabhi humare saath aisa nahi karenge, PROMISE (Promise that you will never do this to me)

UV: Aisa ka matlab (Do what)

U: Chahe aap humse kitna bhi gussa ho, aap kahi bhi jae toh please humme phone zaroor kare or else I won't talk to u (No matter how angry you are with me, if you go somewhere make sure you call me or else I won't talk to you)'aap jante hai ki humme aap ki kitni chinta hoti hai na (you do know how worried I get)

UV: PROMISE ----I AM HAPPY FOR UNNATI BUT HE IS STILL IGNORING ME----

Komal: Uday beta chaliye khana kha li jiye (Uday, have dinner)

DS: (Uday takes his seat at the dining table) Uday aapne itne dino se phone kyu nahi kiya (Uday, why didn't you call us for so many days)

UV: woh DS humara phone kahi gum gaya aur phir hum kuch meetings mein busy ho gaye toh phone nahi kar paye (my phone got lost and then I got busy with some meeting so I didn't get time) ----SOUNDS MORE LIKE AN EXCUSE----

After dinner, Uday joined Maharaj ji for drinks and a game of chess then Mala, a maid then informed me that Uday was in the study with Mata ji to discuss some very important state matters. I wanted to talk to him but I had no idea what I should say. I couldn't discuss Unnati as he had already apologized, not Akash & I am not going to apologize to him THEN WHAT 'think Moniya ' what should you say to him. Maybe, I should tell him that I don't want to get married to him -BAD IDEA- I know, but at least I will talk to him because I don't think he was totally honest with Mata ji. After some time I called Mala again to ask her about Uday but she had no idea where he was so the next options were Unnati or VJ bhai & J. Unnati too had no idea where her bro was and VJ by mistake told me that he and J were trying to locate Uday too. Disheartened, I made my way towards the garden but when I reached there I heard someone singing. I decided to follow the voice. I saw him there; he was leaning against a tree, singing a tune and watching at the moon. He seemed to realize that he wasn't alone anymore because he stopped singing but he didn't look back to see who it was. I didn't hear the song properly but I liked the way he sang it.

((this is the song UDAY was singing ))

M: Tu yaha kya kar raha hai (what are you doing here)

UV: Hum bhi tumse yahi sawal pooch sakte hai (I can ask you the same question)

M: Woh chodo mujhe tujse kuch baat karni hai (forget that, I want to say something to you)

UV: Ab kahene aur sunne ke liye kuch baaki nahi raha Moniya (there's nothing left to be said, Moniya) ----DID HE JUST CALL ME MONIYA, HE SAID THAT BEFORE'I THINK HE IS SAYING THAT PURPOSELY, MAYBE IT MEANS THAT HE IS STILL ANGRY WITH ME---- Tum jeeti, hum haare, khush (you won, I lost, happy now)

M: Ab ye haar jeet kaha se aa dhamka (where did this winning & losing come from come from)

UV: innocent bane ki koshish mat karo Moniya (don't try to act innocent in front of Moniya). Tumhe humse shaadi nahi karni na (you don't want to get married to me right) ---- HOW DID HE KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING----...Fine'.hum ye roka toodte hai (I break this engagement)

I am shocked beyond words as if everything around me has frozen up; I hear someone gasp behind me. I slowly turn around to see Unnati's shocked face, VJ smiling and J looking excited. I check Uday's face again to see if he is joking but he looks dead serious. I should be happy or excited, someone finally understood what I wanted but I am not, it's like the colors from my world are draining away'.

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'

Edited by Sheetal.Shalini - 13 years ago
AraBearxo thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#43
I love thisOS please continue!
Edited by tiger_lily - 13 years ago
sirjee thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#44
waooo..soo awsum..plzz continue ur writin ability...n our manveer stories..luv ur writin n our manveer too...
dumas thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#45
awesome update he loves her more than anything he willing set her free because she is not happy being mayata so he let her be moniya her realization of her love for him came after he broke the engagement poor uday he is so heart broken loved the update well written the emotions were well describe perfect done thanks for the pm
-StarlitFire- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#46
Awesome part dear..
loved it...
looking for next part eagerly...
you are doing amazing job...
thanx for the pm...

-Misek- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#47
Can't await for next par.. Thanks a lot for the PM
salekh1 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#48
😳OMG OMG OMG OMG
PLease pelaseee continue soon
Reallly interewsing
Awesome
Please continue soon
Thank you for PM😃
Surya.Ravi thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#49
really interesting..good going..please do update soon..😊
S.H.I.E.L.D. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#50
😲😲😲

Okay, not really 😆 but that was more fun to do here than on TV. At least here I know its endgame, on TV... 😒 I don't even know. Not going to believe they are unless they stop with melodrama-ness that is Majnu and Moniya's story. :|

Anyways, great chapter! Looking forward to read the next one! 😊


TC.

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