BV - Dec 26th 2011 - Written Update - Page 3

missing DS😔...

I think there is a fine difference between 'caring' and 'meddling'.

And yes, anandi's intentions are good -- but all interference is done under the guise of "well i was just trying to help" 😕

The basic difference between caring and meddling is waiting to be asked.

If gehna had said to anandi "i am having problems with nandu... will you please help me"... then that is caring if anandi responds to that request.

If gehna and nandu are in the middle of a fight in their own room, and anandi overhears them on the stairs and walks in saying "kya hua tai sa, kya hua nandu"... then it is unsolicited ... and therefore meddling.

All meddlers always say that intentions are good 😆😆 ... and truth be told, we can only meddle in the lives of those close to us -- family members -- we cant meddle in an outsiders life because we dont have access... so to me, the idea that she is doing this within the family and is nandu's aunt doesnt really hold much water.

Here, she is also noting that Nandu is badmouthing his mother -- she doesnt know any stories, whatever ones she does know are not good, she doesnt know how to make good food, she doesnt know this, she doesnt know that -- so then, i think anandi should have some ability to read the situation and have some innate sensitivity rather than just walking into the middle of a conversation with gehna and nandu ... and behaving like a bull in a china shop.

Yes, the end result may be that nandu ends up doing whatever he was supposed to do... but the means have to be just as right as well.

In the other two situations, it is a dicey judgement call... but in yesterday's situation, it is downright wrong --- the two of them are in taisa's room and they are arguing about his homework.

there was already a pre-existing agreement between him and gehna that he would play for a while then he would do his homework. Nandu broke the agreement and played way longer than originally agreed upon -- and still wanted to play more and not do his homework.

So taisa was justified in being irritated ... and while nandu definitely did his homework when anandi told him she would not tell him stories ... I think nandu needed to learn the concept of a verbal contract and the import of a commitment.

Here, he did his homework through a bribe from anandi about more stories she would tell him... but the point is that he needed to finish his homework because he had made a promise to gehna that in exchange for 2 hours playtime, he would sit down and do his homework.

Just that he had made that contract with her should be reason enough for him to honour it.

That right there is a very important lesson a child needs to learn.

Anandi is encouraging him to do his homework not because he promised to do it, but because she is bribing him with stories -- so nandu is not learning about the concept of keeping his word -- instead he is learning about doing things for his own selfish reasons.

So tomorrow, he may definitely become an educated person from all that homework anandi enticed him to complete, but in a parallel way will become someone who, like Jagya, has no sense of honouring any of his commitments he has made.

He only does something when it benefits him. If there is no benefit to him, then any previous commitments he made be damned.

So yes, nandu will grow up in a healthy way, with lots of green vegetables, lots of stories and lots of education gained through homework ... but will miss other important lessons of humility, obedience, respect and commitments because of the way that anandi undermines gehna.

Anyway, this is my POV. I am sure there will be child supporters who state that gehna is guilty of child abuse - a mild form of it anyway -- and that anandi is loving and caring.

😆😆😆😆 oh dear! I wasnt even thinking of you pjyo 🤗.