IPKKND FF:Tearing Ourselves Apart Parts 1-26 :) - Page 47

When she opened her eyes she saw Arnav standing next to the bed.

"Let's head out" he said avoiding eye contact, handing his jacket out to her, making sure not to touch her hand when she reached out for it. Her touch was doing crazy things to his mind.

"What do you want me to do with this?" she asked groggily as she rubbed her eyes.

He only looked at her frustratingly as he thought of how he had held on to her earlier and walked out of the door towards the car without answering her question.

She stumbled along behind him in the snow, wondering what had him on edge.

"That's snow" she pointed out at the layers of white jacket around the car when they finally got there. He only looked back at her indicating what a silly thing that was to say.

"What are you doing?" she asked a few seconds later, confused as he started to claw at the snow on the hood of the car.

"I'm getting out of here today, I can't stay here any longer" he said, thinking of what the single room in the snow with Khushi was doing to him. She sighed as she watched him trying to get rid of all the snow, slipping into his jacket that she was holding, she went up to help him.

"That's good enough" he said, admiring his work as Khushi looked at the tiny space she had cleared out.

He sat in the car and she followed, watching him rub his hands together, trying to warm them so he could start driving. Khushi reached out, holding both of his hands between hers, and rubbing, warming his hands up from both the friction and the sensation of her touch.

When he pulled away she took off his jacket and placed it around the back of his seat. He started the car and began to turn around, struggling to get through all the snow, Khushi decided not to question him in case he got angry again but after a few minutes of driving in the wrong direction she finally spoke up.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?"

"But this is the wrong direction."

"I came here to get Di, Di is fine, I don't see the point in joining them up there, we're going home"

Khushi thought back to her dream, seeing Shyam standing with a gun with a hateful expression on his face, pointed straight at her chest. She couldn't leave Anjali up there, with him.

"It's either four hours back home or just an hour the other way, we have come so far, it will make Di so happy" she tried.

"I am not in the mood for a holiday Khushi."

"Arnavji."

"Stop irritating me Khushi."

"Shyam is there, with Anjali ji, we shouldn't leave her there."

He stopped the car abruptly, and turned to face her as she sprung in her seat from the force "What makes you say that?"

Khushi nervously fidgeted with her fingers and stopped when he slowly placed his cold hands over hers "Tell me Khushi."

"Something isn't right about him, he lied when he said he would change, he isn't going to, I know how much you wanted to keep Di safe" she thought back to the night when he had first found out about everything, how he had broken down telling her that he couldn't bear it if anything happened to his sister "I know you wanted to save her from it all, but I think it is time to tell her."

He stayed motionless, with his hands still resting on top of hers. "What makes you say that?" he repeated, controlling his voice.

"We will find a way to make her understand, maybe make it hurt less"

Arnav kept his eyes locked on hers, as he silently asked her the same question with his eyes.

"He didn't do anything to me" she said, as his grip on her hands loosened and he calmed down. "It's just the way he has been acting, and what he has been saying"

He looked back up at her as she went on. As much as he wanted to shelter his sister, he knew she was right. He had known it from the moment he had seen Shyam turn up at his house the day before his sisters birthday, but he was avoiding it, hoping it would go away.

Keep it short Khushi, she thought. "He just asks me whether I am happy, what I see in you" she nervously looked up at him as he flinched "and he makes me feel wrong and ... look, it's not important okay, what is important is that we stop this lie now, while we still can, let Anjali ji know what is going on, she has a right to know. It's not right to keep this from her."

Arnav only slightly nodded his head in agreement and turned the car around. They drove in silence until they reached the hotel they were staying in. Khushi stepped out of the car to face a grand stone building, dressed in wires of tiny lights, covered in all directions by a forest of white trees. As they walked towards the entrance, Khushi admired the view, knowing that it would look like a palace later on in the night when they switched the lights on.

Anjali greeted them in the main hall, apologising profusely for the mean trick she played on them.

"Shyam insisted, we both really wanted you to come, you just missed him, he said he had to go buy some things, but I am so happy you're both here."

They had looked quickly at eachother at the mention of his name, having not decided on the best way to tell Anjali about him yet. She took them upstairs and proudly presented bags full of their clothes for them, smiling at her own cleverness. Khushi smiled at her innocence, she was so wonderful, life was being unfair to her. Her trust and faith had taken advantage of her.

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She sat on the bed in her and Arnav's room, having taken a long warm bath which she had needed since the night before. She didn't want to wash the smell of him off her, but she smiled knowing that he would still be there around her. Shyam had been out since the afternoon, Arnav and Anjali had gone out to see the town, Di had insisted that Khushi come too but she said that she was tired, she knew they needed some time between the two of them and Arnav suggested she get some rest.

But she had not managed to.

She had come into her room, admired the view and then rushed to take a shower. Changing into a deep blue dress she sat on the edge of her bed and contemplated. She had forgotten about everything that had been going on in the world around her when she had stayed in the mountains with Arnav. She had forgotten that they all still had problems, problems they would have to face at some point. Her hair was dripping all over their bed sheets, but she was too preoccupied to notice, wondering what Anjali would feel when they told her the truth.

She felt so angry at Shyam for what he had done to her, to the both of them.

She waited for them to come back, leaning back from where she sat so she was lying against the bed with her legs dangling over the edge staring up at the ceiling.

Meanwhile, Arnav walked around in the cold with his Di, catching up on talk that they hadn't managed to have in a long time. He watched her, being ever so careful of her fragile heart. He had seen it broken once before, when their parents had died, he didn't think he could watch her go through pain like that again. She was his angel, his saving grace. Everything he had done, he had done for her, and he had failed at keeping her safe, away from all the pain she was going to have to go through. He decided that the longer he postponed it, the worse he was making it for her. He decided he was going to tell her the first chance he got.

He opened his mouth to speak as she wandered aimlessly through the snow only to shut it again. How do you start a conversation like that? Di, your husband has been lying to you? No. He should say that he has something to say to her. Before he could think any further and decide against it, he spoke up.

"Di, I need to talk to you."

She looked up and placed her hand on his shoulder "That's what we've been doing Chote, talking" she stopped walking "Tell me, is something bothering you?"

Arnav tried speaking up again only to find his tongue was paralysed, he couldn't get it out.

"Urm, Di, I just wanted to say, well no, I've thought about this, and Di I want you to know that I'm always here for you. You know that right?"

She nodded at him, wondering what he was getting at.

"And I'm going to stand by you no matter what?"

She nodded again, waiting.

"Di..."

"Rani Sahiba!" a voice called behind him.

Shyam ran up to them, Arnavs fists clenched at the sight of him as every muscle in his body itched to beat the hell out of him. He had asked Khushi what she had seen in Arnav. How dare he question their relationship, how could he act like he had some sort of ownership over her? Khushi was his, and only his. No one was allowed to question that.

"Chote?" Anjali pressed as Shyam approached them.

"Nothing Di, it wasn't that important, I will talk to you about it later" he said, brushing the topic off as Shyam joined them and smiling at her to let her know he was going to fix it all.

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A few hours later Arnav walked into back into their hotel room having reluctantly left Anjali and Shyam to see Khushi with her back on their bed, staring up at the skylight from which she could see the sky that had begun to slowly drop snow. He hair was damp and soaking through the bedsheet as the light from the window above her lit her face up, making her look heavenly against the dark blue dress she wore.

He watched her for a while before joining her on the bed, feeling like he needed her and staring up at the sky as it slowly lost light.

"It's lovely feeling so warm inside when you know it is so cold just outside" she said after a while of silence.

Arnav chuckled "I think you appreciate this more after yesterday."

Khushi smiled "Are you laughing at me?" she jokingly pushed at his shoulder.

He sighed, and the smile slowly left his face "Khushi, it's going to break her" his throat felt dry and cracked like it had the entire afternoon he had spent with his Di.

Khushi reached out for his hand with both of hers, still looking up as he lay beside her "I know" she said as she held his hand, squeezing reassuringly "but she will be all right in the end."

"How do you know?"

Khushi kept staring up at the skies as the window to their side lit up from the lights around the hotel being switched on making the snow now look like little drops of light as they fell.

"Look at us" she paused, wondering how best to put it "Didn't you feel like everything was over when you first found out, like the world was crashing down and we could only stand by, watching as everything fell apart."

"Yeah" he finally whispered.

She turned to look at him as he did the same, the tiniest smile escaped her lips "Look at us now."

Arnav took that moment to appreciate the world around him and thank whoever was responsible for giving him his Khushi, he knew that she would always be there for him, support him and stand by his side like he had told his Di he would for her. She pulled his hand up and placed it at her abdomen with both of hers wrapped out his. It felt good to have him so close, he seemed to make all her worries melt away, and even though she knew it was only temporary, that she would have to get back to the world soon, it felt wonderful to float away from it all. Even if it was just for a moment.

He let her hold his hand as they both went back to looking up at the sky through the high ceiling.

Whatever happened, they had eachother. That's all that mattered.