--Mohan's Autobiography--
Part 1
Life is strange...it comes with more shocks than surprises. I, Mohan Gala am a witness of this fact. I never thought I will be a changed person one day. My transformation from what I was to what I am is more than a shock, to say the least! I'd say I've changed for the better... Other people may not agree... But hey? Who cares.
Yeah, I've made mistakes, but not as many as people like to constantly point out to me!... Okay, so I didn't get my degree... But that wasn't MY fault!... I came 'home' (as everyone keeps reminding me) because I was getting a bit out of my depth in London... Then I came home, and got married to Kastur... *sigh* marriage. Even the word sounds boring!
Wait, let's get things straight, I did NOT want to get married. No way! I wasn't ready. I was enjoying life as a bachelor, I wasn't ready to share my life with someone... But no, Baapji had other ideas in mind.
Yeah, "dharampatni" that's what Kastur calls herself: I know. Don't even ask...
I had a great life in London, my dream: "ek bottle wine wali ho...koi mujhko pilaane wali ho...pockets kabhi na meri khaali ho...casino mein har roj diwali ho" *goes into flashback mode* those were the days...
Alright, er, where was I?... Oh yeah; marriage. That wasn't in my checklist of 'things to do' having to share my room with someone? Having to share my bathroom with someone! Even having someone constantly asking you where you're going, when you'll be back: I get enough of that from Baapji!
The concept of marriage was just ridiculous in my eyes, my dad, maama and my brother were all scared of their respective wives, there was no way I was going to go through THAT!
My family's strange. It's as simple as that... I didn't realise how strange they were, until I got to London... Yeah, I was like them but London changed me! Where back 'home' (don't ask me why I keep calling it home, as far as I'm concerned, London is home).. So as I was saying, back in India, the whole world revolved around Baapji. What he said was how it was to be. No questions asked, no opinions wanted...
And that's the difference between me and my strange family: I'm a leader, not a follower! I was a strong believer of it being: MY way or the highway!
Part 2
That was definitely one of the most adventurous days of my life...I was in my room,wincing in pain because of a fight with goons(ohh that is another story) when I heard baapji's not-so-pleasant voice at its highest pitch...
He was shouting at maa "Mohan will have to marry Kastur or he will have to return 20 lacs with interest to jeetu within one week." Maa was crying and her tears were burning my soul. She was standing alone, like an injured warrior who couldn't even stand properly but still she was fighting...for the sake of her dearest son...
I always thought baapji was cruel but I didn't realise the extent he would go to, ... So that was how much I was worth: 20 lacks (plus interest!) it wasn't like I was his grandson, no, I wasn't even human at that point! Just a packet of masala priced and already sold!
I didn't have the money so obviously that meant one thing: I was going to get married! Me?! Get married?? To Kastur?? Thanks to someone claiming to be my well wisher! Yeah right...
After being knocked down by BaapJi, I went and took it out on the next person: Kastur. I was so rude when I blasted her at her house. I may not have always been polite to everyone but that hardly meant that I wanted to hurt anyone!
After I took all my frustration out on Kastur I went to go and relax and play a game of cards and there and coincidently I came face to face with one of my creditors who gave me a great idea. He made me realise that in order for me to make quick money Kastur could be my jackpot... I know, it was wrong. But what was I going to do? This was my freedom on the line!
So, I set my plan in motion and went to apologise to Kastur (This all part of my 'masterplan')
I went to see her but this was nothing like last time, this time it was MY turn to listen. She was acting like personified version of F.m radio blabbering nonstop!... I can't remember what she said exactly because she just went on, and on, and on... but I do remember hearing her say something about 'undhiyo'... The whole fuss was about us getting married and she was going on about undhiyos!! Huh??
She wasn't shutting up any time soon!... So for some reason, I have no idea why; I felt the need to hug her. Just to shut her up... And it worked! She shut up! Finally!... She was even smiling. Yeah, well: I am irresistable *winks*... And anyway, if that's all it took I would've hugged her to shut her up sooner!
Okay, now everything was normal, but there was still one thing at the back of my mind. Maa was upset and that obviously made me upset, especially because knowingly or unknowingly, I was the cause of her hurt. I was helpless. On one hand I wanted to wipe her tears but on the other I knew that if I wanted to fulfil her dream of seeing me successful someone had to get hurt... And sadly it was to be my maa
Part 3
Finally the war was over. In india weddings are no less than war. Rituals,relatives and those so called heavy tacky wedding costumes'ufff'
Then there was something called "suhagraat"! Everyone was teasing me then, as if I will enter into my room and will get my shopping mall ready and my room!!!!! yea my room; uff it was looking like a pond of rose petals. I was about to sneeze due to that fragrance! and then my bed, my bed was like a net. It was made up of flower ropes'(I bet the person who brought the idea of suhaagraat must have been a gardener). But I was surprised to see Kastur. She was so comfortable with all those stupid stuffs, was all shy, smiling for no reason, sitting in a meditating posture!!!!!! I wonder why?????? Anyway, I was too tired to react.
After that she dropped a glass of milk and started apologizing me like I am gonna kill her for that..I was about to tell say "it was just a glass of milk'not a bottle of champagne'nothing to be so hyper about" but she rushed out of the room.
After sometime,she rushed inside the room without even knocking'that was just rude!. At that time I was in a very bad condition and she was checking me with not so good looking intentions'.the situation was becoming more and more awkward.(is it necessary to share rooms after marriage,can't we have some privacy.) I swear I was pissed off in just two hours of married life, and many people handle it for decades.
All these were not enough so that kastur started insisting to have milk and also she was talking about some mood(yea dear I was in mood,in a mood to sleep). After going through all that consistent tortures, only milk wasn't enough for my recovery,I need something extra.
In this way the sufferings of my life imprisonment began... Because on the very next day I was thrown out of MY OWN bathroom midway, then I was forced to eat porridge, a suitcase was dropped on my head and then I had to wipe tears, blah blah blah''
Seriously, a wife has really a lot to do with a man's life.
Part 4
Finally on that night something good happened! I had a night out with my friend. I thoroughly enjoyed and returned in a lil talli mood... only to know that Kastur had captured my bed and had investigated my cupboard (God knows she is a wife or stalker?!). But the worst part was that she was holding my wine bottle!!!!!!!! MY wine bottle! How dare she? It wasn't an ordinary bottle damn: it was a wine bottle, in which my jaan, my love, my mistress aka wine lives. Aahhh no one can understand our love, our passion, our pain of separation oh the world is cruelll!! Ohhh my mistress was dying in her clutches!... Thank God I was there for her... I took my jaanu away from her clutches and what I saw that stupid cork was coming between us (I bet that cork was from kastur's party). I threw that stupid cork away and finally I met my love!!!! Awww she was feeling so alone without me''.
The next morning she again started insulting my mistress by questioning me about her and I had to lie for the sake of my love!!!!!!! After some days I got an opportunity to celebrate and again I met my mistress. She was so happy. We romanced till very late in night and in our intimate moments. I forgot about my dinner promise to Kastur (I was with my love yaar,I'm not supposed to remember such things). I returned late; I thought she must be snoring...but nah!!!!!!!! She was wide awake to take my class! I knew when she will come to know that I'm drunk, she will abuse my innocent mistress. Just to save my love's izzat I took her out forcefully. We had a good time; we went in a auto, had moongphalis, we stole her dad's car blah blah blah...
So these were some tragic instances from Mohan Gala's life..lets see what happens next, I will keep you updated!
(Credit : Silky and Lubz)
Edited by manasi_31 - 13 years ago
Cricket
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565