WHO IS HE(Gaurav)- Conflict of Emotions..

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BreezillusionS

@BreezillusionS

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Posted: 14 years ago

Before I get onto that I wanted to explain in a bit more detail why I think this needs to be tackled instantly, i just would like to say this that, emotions lead one to hate, hate leads one to conflict and war which we saw in Maha Episode yesterday. We saw the high intensity emotional, heated argument ensued between father and son,which resulted in Vidya being gunshot victim. All these three actors have delivered a flawless performance and by far this is one of the best and dramatic Maha Episode in Maryaada. I would give them, thunderous applause, a standing ovation, and an amazing five star for their brilliant acting delivery. It had the perfect blend of emotions, their timing and dialogues delivery was well established and crafted. Kudos to the whole team of Maryaada.

Coming to the main topic, after watching the Maha episode, the smoke of confusion in my head has cleared and now is time for a conclusion. A lot of people come out during their teenage years, as this is when we begin to learn more about our sexuality and identity.However, in Gaurav case, for him to come out is something that can take place at any point in life. Coming to terms with sexual feelings can take a long time, and many people don't come out until later in life just like Gaurav. For some, it may not be until they are older that they become aware of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender feelings.

In the last part of Maha Episode, if you guys notice, right the moment his father pointing out the gun, you can see Gaurav's eyes speak volumes, all his life he has been a lonely boy and a painful childhood experience. Let's assume for the moment that gun fiasco, Vidya obviously going to survive from dying, Gaurav started developing soft feelings for her and decides to lead double lives, having an intimate relationship with Karan while he is married to Vidya. What if he might be bisexual? Gaurav never thought he would get married to a'woman'. He never thought he could find a woman who would love him unconditionally, who would go to any extent to protect him (we already saw that how she jumped in front and save him from the bullet), and could spend the rest of life with him.

Moreover, from the past few episodes, I don't know if it's me or anyone else might as well noticed that, during the party episodes ,Gaurav just constantly stares at Vidya, his energy, very gentle, there is something in his behavior that tells me it's not just sexual, but i'm still confused as i know he is gay for a fact.Of course he could still be mostly gay,and remember that sexuality is a LOT more than just gay, bi or straight. There are all sorts of other categories too, as well as in between gray zones.The one fact remains, and that is being

gay is not a disease or a symptom or something that is going to just go away,

Society teaches that people can only be one way or the other (gay or straight) or that bisexuality is a stage or a phase, and one doesn't stay there for very long. Gaurav may always knew he was attracted to Karan, but what if he felt a pull towards Vidya as well?

If CVs come out to reality, real life world, then maybe he will remain as gay even as Gaurav loved Vidya, cared for her and fell in love with her, he could never contemplate sex with her because simple as that he had no desire for her sexually and this is the point,the fact he knew that his homosexuality cannot be cured but unless Cvs wants to go fictional ways and stay in fictional world then anything is possible to change.

So, yes a gay man can even fall in love with a girl, but he can never express that love in the same way that a girl can for her man, not in a sexual sense. I talk only from experience,i have seen it and respect this kind of unique relationship.

Sorry for taking so long to edit. Hence, please keep it clean and healthy discussion or just kindly press like button if you guys honestly shares same thoughts like me.

Sincerely, Mehr .❤️😳

Edited by MeherPreet - 14 years ago

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KhatamKahani

@KhatamKahani

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Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: MeherPreet
Society teaches that people can only be one way or the other (gay or straight) or that bisexuality is a stage or a phase, and one doesn't stay there for very long. Gaurav may always knew he was attracted to Karan, but what if he felt a pull towards Vidya as well?

edit..

I know you're not finished, but I'll just reply right now and edit accordingly. Yes, current mostly Westernized thought keeps pushing that people are either gay or straight. Female bisexuality is accepted because of the obvious reasons. But all other aspects are still looked down upon. When you have comedians such as Tina Fey on Funny or Die making jokes putting down bisexuality as something that doesn't exist, you know society still has a long way to go.

Personally I believe sexuality is fluid. You love whom you love. Some people may always only be attracted to one particular sex or gender. Others may be to varying degrees, but never act on it. And then there are others who do. The word 'bisexuality' is not really the best word, but it will have to do.

So all that being said

Here's my problem with making Gaurav bisexual. Or rather, having him act on his bisexuality. He very well could be, but the thing is it is not a good example to make him fall in love with Vidya, or start to have romantic feelings for Vidya.

Other than the fact that it's not a good idea to have him fall for her, then comes the next part--that if it happens, he will inevitably end up with Vidya.

I touched on this in another post here

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/46417994�

Gaurav has always said he loves Karan. There's only Karan for him. It's usually been other people that's said he can never love women. For him, it is just Karan. He doesn't say "I can only love a man" etc. That part right there ends up both supporting a Gaurav/Vidya pairing, and being the one factor against Gaurav/Vidya.

The way it supports Gaurav/Vidya is that it can be argued that he's not just attracted to men. He could also be possibly physically and sexually attracted to females as well. But he's so in love with Karan that he doesn't see anyone else. (I guess others would say "hung up" but that's be-littling their relationship, even if the writers didn't write Karan as well as they should have).

But that last point right there is exactly the one factor against Gaurav/Vidya. And I think it's an important factor that is being overlooked. For me, this trumps the possible supporting argument.

Gaurav loves Karan. Karan loves Gaurav. Their love is true and real. It's not whether they are gay or not that's the biggest point. They point is that these are two people who love each other in a romantic and physical manner.

Gaurav loves Vidya, but it's not romantic or physical. Could it go that way? Sure. Afterall we see heterosexual triangles all the time. But here's the thing. We also see heterosexual "maha love stories and connection." Especially in Hindi-serialdom; how many couples professing love for each other end up being the couple not to root for?

To have Gaurav stray from Karan even after he's remained in love with Karan and forgiven Karan for his mistakes, gives the message that their homo-sexual pairing has less meaning than a heterosexual one.

I have no problems with bi-sexual triangles. In fact, American society looks down on male bisexuality (while I think Asian society has always had an underlying history of bisexuality, but just not out in the public. And of course have the heterosexual marriage on the outside).

But here, in this case, when we are seeing an Indian serial portray this issue, it's not a good idea to show that eventually the man will fall in love with the wife.

1) Not every gay man will fall in love with his wife. Plenty of them won't be attracted to women at all. Sure some of these men may lead a loving marriage. For some that may be fine. Though for others it will never be completely fulfilling. And that's just a positive scenario.

2) Even if they are attracted to women a bit, that doesn't mean that it's right for them to be pressured to leave the person they consider their one true love simply because the person they fell in love with is also male.

The show didn't present Gaurav and Karan as men falling for each other. They presented the two to us as two people already in love. When we first see Karan, Gaurav tells Karan that he can go against the whole world for Karan, but not his mother. (And it can be argued that Karan succeeds over Devyani when Gaurav finally blurts out to to Vidya that he loves Karan, and doesn't back away from his confession of love.)

So for Gaurav and Karan's love and relationship to be broken leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Especially in this particular medium. In Hindi serials, two people declaring grand love for each other often means that's it, unless one dies.

Vidya is an innocent person caught up for Devyani's and Gaurav's mistakes. (Karan is too, actually...except for the way he behaved once Vidya left. I blame that on the writers.)

But that doesn't mean she should end up with Gaurav in the end. Gaurav loves her, there's no doubt about that. But not all love is romantic or physical. There are instances of gay husbands truly loving their wives, even if they aren't in love with them.

This actually wouldn't be a problem if both knew about it, and decided to live that way. But in Gaurav's case he loves someone else. Someone he couldn't give up even after marrying Vidya. That's not fair to Vidya.

And at this point, after all that's been shown, for the CVs to have Gaurav fall for Vidya--well that's not fair to Karan.

Edited by likarsh - 14 years ago

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KhatamKahani

@KhatamKahani

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

I've been holding off on saying this for the past two weeks or so. And I really don't feel like making a new post on this because I know people won't agree, and I don't have the time or will to justify and discuss.

But right now, it's Vidya that's in the wrong and I'll even say being selfish. And I know that's a harsh thing to say because she put her life in front of Gaurav's. But Vidya loves Gaurav. And yes, she is doing it to save the honour of the family, but there's also more to it. Because she loves him, she's fine staying by his side as his wife.

She could have left with her parents, and Brahma couldn't do a thing. She had the perfect excuse. Yes, Gaurav was sad and crying. But he accepted it, and knew it was best. Vidya could've left Gaurav, ended the marriage. And slowly Gaurav and Karan could've gone abroad or somewhere else in India. But okay, we'll say abroad since that's even a better option.

But she didn't. She chose to come back. And yes, I know everything she said. But she has now put Gaurav in a position where he (as happy as he is to see Vidya) feels compelled to stay in that marriage and relationship.

Vidya is happy with Gaurav's attention to her and the way he cares for her. Maybe later she will realize that it's not enough. But right now, she's fine with it. And yes, Gaurav is the reason for all this in the first place. He ignored her for a long time in the marriage, and she went through a lot because of his indifference.

But we're talking about here and now. She had the opportunity. He couldn't do it, it had to be her. And she didn't. She had the perfect opportunity, but she didn't. And it wasn't completely self-sacrificial either.

Anyway, I've been holding off on saying that. But I just had to get that out.