Posted:
Haylllo Namkeens,
Hwzz life??😃
I know that the forum has atkified on Dharmendra,Pratigya's re-entry, and TIRAAST ..Me, will wait for Sholay re-enactment and jaya Bhaduri assent [ I know i am mixing up the character, but try as much as possible, I cannot pic Pratigya as Basanti ]and the inevitable fireworks, explosions that Pratigya will bring in her wake to Thakur Nivas...and not to be left out, I would like to add my own squawk to the looming Trust Issue...
What is Trust ?? ..This was the first question that reared its head in my black Box ...and forthwith I consulted my oracle of Delphi , which promptly answered that ..
Trust, in a practical sense, means that you place confidence in someone to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises, vows and confidences and not abandon you.
Keeping this in mind... can we ask ourselves, whether Krishna placed any trust on Pratigya ..then the answer is NO !!..for he did not place his confidence on her , did not keep his vow of always being by her side and abandoned her ...So does this acquit Pratigya of any culpability ,,has she been the champion of Trust ,,again taking the aforementioned maxim , then I would say that Pratigya had not been very forth coming about all the facts and did not bare her knowledge choosing instead to guard it in her bosom ## Agreed that Krishna got angry when she first let slip about Amma's plot , but hey you are fighting for ur relationship , aren't you?? after a token effort..you just give up and await the guillotine ..## ...So in my view..both loved each other but their love was not strong , has not grown to a level where one can rely on the other...
"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry."
Trusting another person needs a realistic look at the other person, His/her back ground, the factors that make him what made him/her what he/she is today and also an acceptance of failure ..You cannot expect a mango fruit out of a Neem seed .. Nor will a Mango tree yield its fruit immediately, one needs to work at it,pruning [removing the weakness, secrets], adding fertilizer [ ur unconditional love,support ], adding pesticides [ being open and honest & not letting any unwanted members into the inner circle ].Trust works best when there is no pre-conditon's attached ...
Trust is no commodity that can be brought from a mall..it is a feeling/ a belief that needs to be worked at by both and not only by one party..people are no simple creatures, they are complex machines and their emotion's even more complex...and this emotions cannot be changed or erased over night ... a reasonable time frame should be given and both must work at it..it cannot be achieved by the efforts of a single individual ..Trust has to be earned ..but without knowing what components constitutes Trust ..How will any one earn Trust...for instance what was lacking in Pratigya that Krishna did not trust her choosing instead to trust his Amma more...Why is Pratigya chary of hotfooting back into Haveli .. What factors will ensure the re-germination of Trust in Krishna ? has she enlightened Krishna with her expectation's ?? Krishna is aware that Pratigya does not trust him , but is he aware what will reassert her trust in him..Did he ask her ??
"Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don't over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness."
Leo F. Buscaglia
There is a sequence in Pratigya, wherein the heroine over rides her father's counsel and knowledgeably informs him on the laws of marriage including the hidden clauses ...A scene which raised my eye brows !! I mean here was a gentle Man who had 25 + years of married life, one who has given quarter of his life in nurturing and maintaining this relationship , one who has seen the best and worst, the up's and down's of a married life and she without even a micro second pause softly brushes off his suggestion...How many years of married life has she lived...not even a year, out of which half the time was in cold war, remaining quarter championing the cause of others and the other quarter to her husband ..then on what is she basing her assumption's...is it on books...which chemistry book dealt with marriage & relationship ?? ..and her second assertion that their relationship will undergo a test ?? excuse me !! Test & relationship !! if the test is for relationship...should not both be giving it ..why only one...and is Krishna informed about the test, has he been given an option?/ what if he fails, will Pratigya opt to stay on in Green house indefinitely..we already saw the reaction f her mother when that washer woman probed about Pratigya's continued stay...What comes across is the fact that Pratigya takes krishna's love for herself as granted, she is confident that he loves her...and this knowledge drives her ..it was her over weening confidence in Krishna's love that kept her quite smug and not very pro active during Amma's war games ...she assumed that hell or high water Krishna will be there ...even now, she is doing the same mistake of taking him for granted ...she is fully confident that he will do whatever it takes to win her back and she is complacent..her complacency was shaken when Amma stirred the pot , but once again it is taking roots ...her assured stance belies the fact that Krishna will come through, If she was so confident about the fact that Krishna will change, then why not go when he called the first time..Go home, sit down and explain that she came bec she knows that he loves her but there is a trust deficit and until that is overcome, she is not willing for any conjugal bliss ..but she does not do that, she packs off Krishna telling him that he has to prove himself ..and she is quite sure of the outcome too !!,,IMO more than Krishna's continued and repeated blunder ..it is the complacency that kills the relationship...ppl close their eyes to the happening around them, the changes happening to their partner and simply assume that the partner will be there always, forgetting the fact that Marriage is a dynamic relationship, it needs constant attention,bit of time n up in the priority list for the relationship to survive...
Both of them are young and no angels, whereas one is aware of his mistakes , the other one is still not aware of her weak spots ...it is when both hunker down and have a frank and free discussion instead of the roundabout ones that Pratigya gives or the bombastic ones that Krishna delivers ..Then only then will this marriage leave first base !! else it will always be prone to storms and also make for an unequal relationship where sooner than later , the marriage will crumble unable to bear this unequal distribution...
"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy"
Walter Anderson
People are human, frail, and sinful. Therefore, you need a realistic type of trust when you choose to trust someone. Trusting grows in relationships over time because as you spend time together with someone you build knowledge, understanding and authenticity. You gain insight into another person's character, needs, motivations and fears.
Unconditional love develops trust .The result is a growing trust in the other person. Not because that person is perfect but because that person is growing in honesty.When love is not patient or enduring; when love is unforgiving and always disappointed or looking for something to go wrong, it generates fear and looks for imperfections in the other person. Fear-based love is conditional creating an atmosphere of distrust, dishonesty and instability.You can have a limited trust in people as you grow to know them and they see you really care about them but the fact is that people will let us down. That is reality.
Take a look at yourself as well...
You will never be perfect and therefore, you will probably disappoint your loved one as well. You can promise to never say something hurtful or never tell a lie or never exaggerate or always keep your promises or (you name it) but since you are human you will also make mistakes and disappoint that person. The only thing you or your loved one can promise is to grow..
The components of love, forgiveness and commitment are as necessary to trust in a relationship as is honesty. Forgiveness gives you the chance to start over and trust another fallible human being again. Love helps to nourish trust. Commitment and honesty provide accountability to one another.
@ brown : sourced from an article...
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Jodha Akbar
