I start this topic today with a little prayer
My God, please I don't have the patience to endure any more rounds of misunderstanding that would lead to further resentment and anger in Kesar. Give him a break yaar. Please!!! I don't care about any romance as I know it's not easy to bring that in this story, but few more rounds of letter reading and heartbreak for Kesar. NO!!. I hope Dushyant favors Kesar since he has read that note in which Kesar mentioned that he had some expectations from everyone especially Gulaal.
Kesar finally realized he cannot promise fidelity to Talli. He was confused as to what his relationship with Gulaal was. With all honesty in his voice Kesar asks Sudha, for whom it was "Just a Ritual". Kesar is surprised why this happened only with him and there was a tinge of sarcasm when he asked Pann Ba was that the reason they never asked his opinion then that he was a child and why she did not call it off the wedding then citing his age. He was truly hurt for Talli and graciously accepted his mistake for dragging her till the mandap but made it clear that he cannot be honest in his feelings ever for her.
Gulaal steps in and declares that there is no identity or even a chance of existence or reality to such a relationship. Basically she is saying there is no Astitva to this Deeyarvatu. When very conveniently and suddenly without a contemplation, Gulaal says she will relieve him from this bondage, the amount of hurt is so deep in his eyes but brings about a forced mocking smile when he said Wah! How easily you said you would release me? The very fact that Gulaal can let go of him, does not attach an importance for him to be part of her life, hurt him more. He was hurt that she did not find it necessary to ask him when she decided for him then and while breaking it off now.
He tried his level best to make his feelings known to her, requesting her to think from his POV that it's not easy for him to forget the marriage, that she is his wife. Clearing his throat he denies the possibility.
I loved that hand gesture of Kesar admitting how small he was when she bound herself to him through the ritual and that he believes that it is part of his life and has grown up with the belief and realization that she is his wife. Oh that was a real sad moment when he said "Mera bachpan chin gaya Gulaal, waqt se pehle hi mujhe pati bana diya gaya. He retaliated fiercely that now he was being forced to forget it like he is a wooden puppet or a toy with no feelings at all. I loved it here when after this Motaba put his head down in shame. Kesar was literally screaming out why his feelings are not taken into consideration.
The best I liked in today's episode was Kesar saying "Sach bhi tera, jhoot bhi tera aur faisle bhi tere" practically not allowing him to have any opinion of his own be it right wrong and deciding authority. And he nodded his head in clear disapproval that he would not allow her take this decision to break this Deeyarvatu, he won't give a false promise to Talli and and that HE DECIDES not to break this relationship.
Oh HO, Talli's realization could not be good news to Gulaal. Her big big eyes all rolling in anger, because her decision to marry Kesar was being questioned. Kesar was questioning the Supreme court decision. He was questioning Gulaal, the goddess of justice. One thing about her is true if she considers herself as Goddess of Justice. She is BLINDFOLDED to everyone's opinion.
Was she calling him stubborn and dragging him to the same Panchayat where she has placed yet another puppet of hers as Village Head? Kesar is being termed as stubborn because he voiced his opinion? How strange. And imagine he just defeated her then and there saying his thought process can't be changed whatever comes by. Thankfully.
I liked the dialogue "Apne aap se jhoochta aaya hoon and jo khushi se mojri pehen li, who kab mere pairon ki bediyan ban gayi". Kesar stted his confusion when few say that Gulaal is his wife, few deny it, Gulaal asks him to marry Talli when she performs Puja as his wife. He was so helpless to know actually what his relationship with Gulaal is. "Aakhir mera aur Gulaal ka rishta kya hai?". Finally he had to ASK. Loved the taunt he gave to everyone when he told Jamna Kaki he will not get an answer from anyone because none of them have one. Kesar is so honest that he does make it a point to seek apology from Talli with folded hands because he knows very well he has hurt her. That honesty and straight forwardness is something likeable in Kesar.
KESAR'S REALIZATION
As Kesar sat there swinging, he attempted to recollect all the happenings with Gulaal, he is reminded of her snap decision to sever all ties with him, his amazement at her in the mango orchards, her loyalty to him in the Vrat episode, his open compliment to Gulaal in her open locks, her decision to call for Panchayat, the Chunar he had gifted her. The scenes reflected his confusion about what Gulaal felt about the Deeyarvatu versus what his feelings for her were.
KESAR AND MOTABA
With absolutely nil dialogues for Kesar, we never felt once that he did not speak. His eyes spoke everything that was needed. The NEIL TOUCH. Are they deliberately doing this with Neil?
When Motaba walked up to him, his guilt kept his head and eyes lowered and he stood there leaning against the pillar. He gives it a thought when Motaba asked him "Tu khud jaanta hai??" It was nice to see Motaba deciding to have an adult talk with his grown up son trying to remind him that his decisions affect two souls. Gulaal and Talli, did he do this because he felt Gulaal is his wife. Thank God finally a father asked him if he wants to have a true marital relationship with Gulaal. Loved Kesar's expression there of that of uncertainty, confusion because actually speaking he has not given a serious thought to it though he knows about fidelity in a relationship. The question coming so direct to him that too from his father, sets him thinking. When Motaba says that he can confidently say that Kesar's decision was made in haste, Kesar seems so vulnerable and guilty at that point. When Motaba told him to thoughtfully decide so that he would not have to ever repent his decisions since it would affect other's lives, Kesar realized the gravity of the current situation very well. His shocked expression with tears confirmed his fear about the outcome of his decision.
LONELY KESAR
Look at the irony of the situation when Kesar is the one who is most affected by Gulaal's decisions, he is the one who has to be answerable to everyone. They still lay the burden on Kesar to act thoughtfully. Gulaal could not take one day's trauma when Kesar disclosed he will torture Talli. Imagine Kesar living all those 10 years knowing such a devastating truth. And still no one cares for his feelings. As a child he needed that guidance and counseling. Today he said that as a child I was forced into such relationship and I have lived with the belief of being married to Gulaal. How sad that today again no one seems to question Gulaal but they are cornering Kesar for the decisions. He himself is lost in the melee of problems and trying to find an identity and individuality of his own but instead he is being blamed for two insane women's future.
Finally, Kesar was all alone, lonely, left to struggle with his emotions and blamed too. He admitted he did not know why he behaved so. Actually feel sad for him because when people know something and react accordingly, it's different. Here he himself doesn't know what makes him behave so. Motaba gave him food for thought; he contemplated over the issue why he behaved this way, whether he did because of his hatred towards Gulaal or because he "liked" her. Even now he has not been able to clearly say "Pyaar" and puts it as "Pasand". Do I want to punish her or stay with her; he is not able to understand himself. I loved the coin toss because such a major decision he entrusts on the probability theory of a toss verdict. Actually I smiled because, I could so relate to Kesar. I had made a life changing decision for myself by picking at a "Yes" chit since I could not decide.
His trust on his coin really showed how much lonely a person he is, because even in his hostel he never had anyone to turn to for help and he has made the coin his companion.
When he placed hatred for tails and paused for naming the term for "heads", he had a brief smile but shoes to say he wants to stay with her. With a silent prayer, he tossed the coin.as usual the verdict has taken him by surprise. I am hoping its heads for his LOVE for her.
The sleeping posture was perfect for an exhausted and tired mind. Arre Kesar, always wake up to the right side and never to your left. The day will be good and everything will be right when you wake up to your right in the morning. You need to believe in all this. It might help. Pannba's announcement shocks him and the close up of Kesar's eyes revealed total fear and anxiety.
He was so not in the mood for Raman's talks but he listened to him intently but I could see the partial anger in his eyes when he mentioned that Dushyant will favor Gulaal's decision. His confusion returned.
Anupamaa
Bhabhi Ji Ghar Pe Hain?
