Why is all house work Mona's responsibility

April2007 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
Why Mona has to do all the house work, why it is her responsibility alone. What about Amba, Phui, Baa and long term guest Anchal..what is their responsibility towards the house work..It seem they are bums, who do nothing useful with their lives..

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HalkatJawaniJay thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#2
I have always wondered that myself too, in all these shows why does DIL has to do the household work. I mean with so many ladies in the house they can split up the work right, one takes care of the food, other laundry etc... why put a burden on one person while rest sit back gossip and enjoy.
sherma thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#3
but ambaji and achal do thw work of mona na?mona is hardly in kitchen dese days.
taral83 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#4
having a responsibility and actually doing the work is two different things. One can have the responsibility but that doesn't mean people don't help. its responsibility of parents to attend their baby, but if the parent is busy, granny, masi, chachi, uncle, grampa anyone attends the child. Just like that its Mona's responsibility to attend and make sure that all the household chores done. Whether she does them herself or asks for help is up to her. Responsibility doesn't have to mean unfairness. Everyone has a duty. And Ambaji, Ba, Phui don't sit around. They are actually doing other household chores. Really all that Mona has to do is cook and clean up. Ambaji presses the cloths (the iron table is in her room), Ba and Phui are always folding the laundry or doing something with spices. Mona doesn't have all the responsibilities but she has the main responsibility of basically being the leader of the household stuff. Let me put it this way, y is it a big deal when she is given all the responsibility of the house and its unfair that no one helps her. But we all hate it when someone else helps her with the responsibility of her husband. That is also a responsibility, but a wife never wants anyone to interfere with that responsibility, right? When your duty becomes a job or a task its when responsibilities and all that become a burden and you start to think about unfairness. We have to see it from another perspective.
sherma thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: taral83

having a responsibility and actually doing the work is two different things. One can have the responsibility but that doesn't mean people don't help. its responsibility of parents to attend their baby, but if the parent is busy, granny, masi, chachi, uncle, grampa anyone attends the child. Just like that its Mona's responsibility to attend and make sure that all the household chores done. Whether she does them herself or asks for help is up to her. Responsibility doesn't have to mean unfairness. Everyone has a duty. And Ambaji, Ba, Phui don't sit around. They are actually doing other household chores. Really all that Mona has to do is cook and clean up. Ambaji presses the cloths (the iron table is in her room), Ba and Phui are always folding the laundry or doing something with spices. Mona doesn't have all the responsibilities but she has the main responsibility of basically being the leader of the household stuff. Let me put it this way, y is it a big deal when she is given all the responsibility of the house and its unfair that no one helps her. But we all hate it when someone else helps her with the responsibility of her husband. That is also a responsibility, but a wife never wants anyone to interfere with that responsibility, right? When your duty becomes a job or a task its when responsibilities and all that become a burden and you start to think about unfairness. We have to see it from another perspective.

loved ur post,u explained it very well😊
rajh thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#6
when ambaji not given ghar ki chavi and responsibility to mona-every one is unhappy.
now mona got ghar ki chavi and responsibility-now also pleople complaining.

ek gana yaad aagaya-

kuch though log kahange,logon ka kaam hai kehana...
koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#7
What i cannot understand is Why ALL work shud be done by her only is the expectation .

A bahu is not a glorified servant .

These women r young , able bodied , with nothing else to do . Whats the prob if they sensibly split up work .Phui is sitting and eating mangoes in courtyard and keeping nazar on Mona .

Bharti does work ...YES . If Anchal rushes to do work its with ulterior motive . Thats strictly HER problem .

That Baa , that sister of anukalp , Ambaji , Phui ...ALL shud work .Why constantly expect from one person only ?

They are responsible for THEIR men ...just as Mona is responsible for anukalp .

Its a different thing if Mona does all work when these women r SICK . They are NOT .

Do they give bahu the respect a bahu desrves ?No na ?they tell a third person like ANCHAL to tell bahu of house ...Tell her Go away I dont wanna see her Shakal...

Then why expect that bahu to work like servant for ALL ? No one in that house is maimed , old as unable to do work , sick . The house is large , and the work is vast and endless . Large joint family Gujju households r terribly busy in domestic sense , I have many gujju friends I have seen how hardworking those Gujju women are .

She is doing business ...Why purposefully be non cooperative and harangue her doing WORK WORK WORK ?

Have they once BOTHERED to find out if their own beti Hetal is doing work properly in sasural ? Isnt supervising THAT their duty ?

If that second beti is absolved from housework simply coz she has studiies and is told u concentrate on studies and is given oil massages ...why is not Mona absolved from housework and told u focus on business we will manage as we have nothing better to do anyways ?She really isnt very elder to anukalp's sisters ...same age group .

Chalo , dont do THAT .Was just pointing it out . But at least tell her , U dont have to do EVERYTHING . We r there .

One rule for betis one for bahus . Betis dont work in maika nor in sasural is the picture .


Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 14 years ago
taral83 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000

What i cannot understand is Why ALL work shud be done by her only is the expectation .


A bahu is not a glorified servant .

These women r young , able bodied , with nothing else to do . Whats the prob if they sensibly split up work .Phui is sitting and eating mangoes in courtyard and keeping nazar on Mona .

Bharti does work ...YES . If Anchal rushes to do work its with ulterior motive . Thats strictly HER problem .

That Baa , that sister of anukalp , Ambaji , Phui ...ALL shud work .Why constantly expect from one person only ?

They are responsible for THEIR men ...just as Mona is responsible for anukalp .

Its a different thing if Mona does all work when these women r SICK . They are NOT .

Do they give bahu the respect a bahu desrves ?No na ?they tell a third person like ANCHAL to tell bahu of house ...Tell her Go away I dont wanna see her Shakal...

Then why expect that bahu to work like servant for ALL ? No one in that house is maimed , old as unable to do work , sick . The house is large , and the work is vast and endless . Large joint family Gujju households r terribly busy in domestic sense , I have many gujju friends I have seen how hardworking those Gujju women are .

She is doing business ...Why purposefully be non cooperative and harangue her doing WORK WORK WORK ?

Have they once BOTHERED to find out if their own beti Hetal is doing work properly in sasural ? Isnt supervising THAT their duty ?

If that second beti is absolved from housework simply coz she has studiies and is told u concentrate on studies and is given oil massages ...why is not Mona absolved from housework and told u focus on business we will manage as we have nothing better to do anyways ?She really isnt very elder to anukalp's sisters ...same age group .

Chalo , dont do THAT .Was just pointing it out . But at least tell her , U dont have to do EVERYTHING . We r there .

One rule for betis one for bahus . Betis dont work in maika nor in sasural is the picture .




Why do you think they don't do the work. In today's episode alone, Ba and Phui were folding cloths. Ambaji ironed Anu's coat, was in kitchen helping Mona with cooking. Sejal is young she goes to school, and I have seen her many times in the kitchen helping. I think when they talk about Mona doing work its about being responsible. Which means that if she cant get it done then tell Ambaji that I have to do this can you watch this. There is this constant argument on our forum that in the Ghandi parivaar its all about work, when the fact is that is not true. Same thing is happening in Bedi family. Amrit has done all the work, giving Vimmy and now Hetal all the time in the world to lay around. Is that fair? They have a maid to help, which Ghandi family lacks, because beliefs are different, they don't believe in having a maid. I agree a DIL is not a servant, but their are some rules and traditions in life. A duty and a responsibility one has to fulfill. We can beat our head on the wall and say that women can be bread winners of the house, and they can be. But the main idea in society is the men are bread winners. Just like that, DIL are meant to take care of household responsibilities. You may not agree, but that is the tradition in most Indian families. That doesn't mean your treated like a slave, its a responsibility. Just like you get paid at work to do a certain task, well in household chores you also get paid, with love, appreciations and care. Its a different story that Mona is not "appreciated" for what she does, but that is a different issue on its own. I don't think they are treating Mona like a slave, she cooks, cleans and manages money. But there are way more then that in taking care of the house, laundry, preparing for next day dinner or lunch, folding laundry, cutting veggies, mopping the floors, sweeping the floors, pooja, fill the water if you don't have 24 hours of water, make breakfast, then make lunch then make afternoon chai then dinner, make sure everyone's medication is on time, paying bills, making sure of rashan etc. The list can go on. IF Mona did ALL the household chores, she wouldn't be able to stand and chat with Anchal. Personally, I think all Ambaji wants to see is that she is responsible enough. If you remember, when Mona finally got into Ambaji's good books, they had went out to watch movie and all that stuff. Abuse would be when she hits Mona, makes her wash a laundry full of cloths and then adds more right when she is about to finish, make Mona cook a full dinner only to say she isn't hungry, make her clean the floor and then walk right over it with muddy footprints, make her go up and down the stairs to get things etc. That would be abuse. She has a lot more leniency then you guys think.
koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#9
Personally, I think all Ambaji wants to see is that she is responsible enough. If you remember, when Mona finally got into Ambaji's good books, they had went out to watch movie and all that stuff. Abuse would be when she hits Mona, makes her wash a laundry full of cloths and then adds more right when she is about to finish, make Mona cook a full dinner only to say she isn't hungry, make her clean the floor and then walk right over it with muddy footprints, make her go up and down the stairs to get things etc. That would be abuse. She has a lot more leniency then you guys think.

I agree that Ambaji wants to see her being responsible enough . Ambaji is not evil ...I do agree to this part . Phui is different and Ambaji is different .

but i disagree with you when u say Abuse is only hitting Mona and making her do a workload bu supervising her personally .

Constantly putting a young eager to please girl down , even in front of strangers , giving her the silent treatment , laying silent guilt trips on her , constantly berating her in front of family , trying to throw her out of the house simply coz she was doing dress designing by hiding is also ABUSE only .

You see , that young girl is the child of some one else'swomb , given in this house to be HAPPY .Not to be made UNHAPPY . Ambaji's behaviour has made Mona extremely sad and unhappy .

You dont set out to break ur son's marraige simply coz the bahu decided to do a side business without telling u .Yes u can be angry and huffy personally but thats it . U cannot decide to break a marraige for such a faaltoo reason . Just see how that even sounds . THAT was abuse only .Thankfully Mona's husband decided to be no part to it and fyi spoke up .

In this track Ambaji has behaved unreasonably . She has gone on disliking Mona for the flimsiest of reasons and constantly made ego issues with her son .

Neither is she an insensible woman nor stupid . She knows exactly what Phui is . As a woman she senses what Anchal is upto . Yet she told this Anchal tell Mona I dont want to see her face . Who is Anchal ? Mona is bahu of house . Just like Ambaji .

Mona has suffered quite a lot of bad treatment bordering on abuse from her in laws . She is a punjabi girl brought up to eat non veg , different kind of food .She is adjusting a lot . Ambaji is NOT the one who is doing the adjusting .She has not changed , she is expecting change in Mona .

Her two daughters dont do any special work . You say they work but they do cursory work . Only AMBAJI does constant work , the other one is Mona who is chatpati and never sits still .

Tradition and culture is not to be ingrained only in a bahu who has entered the house from another culture . It has to be seen that the daughters of the house are being traditionally trained too . Why is Hetal so devoid of Ambaji's sanskaars ? And why is Sejal excused by saying she is young and has studies ? Isnt Mona young too ? She is a very young girl .

They wait for her to slip up and pounce on her in a group and u say thats not abuse ? Then what is ? What would they say if their own daughters were given this same treatment ? That oh they they are being traditionally trained , disciplined a little ? I don't think so .




lil_Ritu thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#10
because she is the daughter-in-law and DIL does it because int eh future she is going to do it and soon have kids and teach her too

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