Why is all house work Mona's responsibility

koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
She has the power in her hands but is refusing to use it. So if she is standing their and listening to Ba and Phui and Anchal, well its her own fault.

Don't see her listening to Anchal at all . She argues with Anchal only to be put down by her stupid sasural wallahs who Choose to side with a third person over their bahu without even hearing her out . Baa and Phui are elder ...so she chooses NOT to use a high tone with them for Anukalp's sake and this is her FAULT ?And All that Ambaji does is NOT her fault [ inspite of being elder in age } but has a REASON ? WOW .😆

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Taral

@taral83

Dazzler

22

Posted: 14 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
Parents can teach and try to instill the best sanskar in a child, but after that point, that child has a mind of their own. Parents can only hope and pray that child goes on the path they showed, but if they don't well why should the parents be blamed???

In that case why expect change from another girl from another culture who has grown up for 20 years or more in another family ?

You say one cannot expect one's own children to toe the line and ultimately children ...one's own children turn out to be individuals far different from what we expect them to be . And that Parents cannot be blamed for it . Then how is MONA to be blamed for what she has turned out to be by being born in a culture alien to the Gujjus who are hell bent on 'disciplining' her and expecting change rightfully in her ?

Their own children they cannot change u say ...and they expect to change ANOTHER girl ...and set out to do the task with masterful glee as if its their bloody birthright or something .

U said u hate it when the parents are blamed . I Hate it when the poor new girl is blamed by sasural people ...a whole bunch , unwilling to change , tooting that THEIR culture is the best , not understanding the girl's problems , and deliberately ignoring her intentions to please and ONLY focussing on her clumsy mistakes . Well at least she makes clumsy mistakes in ATTEMPTING to MERGE with their culture and do GOOD ...their own daughter is SLEEPING in bed whole day feigning sicknesses and demanding jewellery as if its her birthright , competing with seniors in the family ...backanswering them and what not . Clumsiness and hiding a thing or two for reasons best known to oneself is NOTHING compared to the vicious nonsense their daughter has embarked upon . And YES it has to be traced back to the Gandhis ...As THEY wud have indeed traced it back to those good hearted Punabis without a qualm . They wud have flung her upbringing in her face . I don't see ANY reason why the Gandhis shud be absolved for Hetal's deeds . They don't absolve Mona of ANYTHING . They don't make excuses for her considering her young age , inexperience , different culture ...NOTHING . So Hetal's rubbish SHOULD be not excused and Gandhis should NOT be absolved .Its not HATEWORTHY , its only FAIR .

I guess you misunderstood what I mean. I was talking about blaming a parent. It is wrong to blame a parent for something you dislike in your any young person, whether that be your cousin, DIL, next door neighbor. Its wrong to blame Ambaji for how Hetal turned out, just like it wrong for Ghandi house to blame Amrit for how Mona turned out. That was my point. AS for changing Mona, no one needs to change, you have to adapt. Taking on new responsibility doesn't change a person, nor does asking someone to be more careful changes a person. I don't think its anything "bad" they are expecting from Mona. All they want her to be is more careful. No one can change your identity. Mona is still the bubbly, caring, respectful daughter she always was. Mona herself has said many times that she as become more matured and so has her own family. There is nothing wrong in asking her to become a bit more mature. She soon will be a mother. Ba won't be there nor Ambaji after years. Just like Ba took a back seat and gave everything to Ambaji, Ambaji wants to do the same thing for Mona and make sure she can handle it. What is wrong in that? As I earlier said, family traditions are not always the same, what goes on in my house may not be allowed in yours. When I talk about the point you mentioned about parents getting blamed, I am talking about personality, sanskaar, manners etc.

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#23

Anu really hurt her recently telling her that its not only her house. She has high expectations for Mona, but for one reason or another she always falls short, which hurts Ambaji. Ambaji is a very smart and intelligent character, yes she has a bit of a ego and short temper, but she also cools down just as fast.

Anu was FORCED to open his mouth and point out to his mother the LEGAL and MORAL rights his wife had as none of the elders had the guts and balls to tell Ambaji that she was doing a MISTAKE and was WAY OUT OF LINE . She had told Anu to LEAVE Mona at her maika if this business continued and was constantly harping that this was HER home and that here the rules would be HERS . What in effect she was threatening was for a small business , break ur marraige with her as I DON"T LIKE IT . Its my way or no marraige was her motto .

None of the men had the balls to intervene and put her straight . The other two silly narrow minded women were agreeing with ALL rubbish that she was spouting so autocratically . What was Anukalp supposed to do ...Say... oh Mona won't do the business my Achi Maa?? YEs Maa I will DUMP her if she continues ? THEN he wud be the SON OF THE YEAR i suppose . THe mom does ANY egoistic nonsense and the son has to comply ...why may I know ?

Yes ideally he shud be telling her about the salary cut . But lets suppose he has NOT .EVEN THEN Ambaji is wrong ...VERY wrong to attempt to throw Mona out simply for doing dress designing by giving ultimatums.

Btw its not LITTLE EGO that she has . Its MONUMENTAL .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 14 years ago

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Rani

@April2007

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Posted: 14 years ago

#24

[

I was scolded every time it was my mistake. And I am proud my parents brought me up like that because it makes me who I am today. I personally don't feel Mona is going through any emotional abuse RIGHT NOW, she may have in the past tracks, but currently not at all. She has the power in her hands but is refusing to use it. So if she is standing their and listening to Ba and Phui and Anchal, well its her own fault.

First of all many of us don't respond very well to scolding, I personally respond to empathy, love and understanding regardless of the mistake, scolding will totally turn me off. I will shut off and become defensive. Mona is not only scolded, she is yelled at and is butt of extreme anger and is abused regarding her background, her lack of gujju skills, her being Punjabi not vaishnav gujju. Mona is not accepted in the household, she is an outsider and treated worse than a servant. Phui sings songs to abuse her and sarcastically calls her Mona Rani.

She tried to fight back but she lacks Gandhi cunningness and abusive skills.

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Taral

@taral83

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Posted: 14 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: April2007
[

I was scolded every time it was my mistake. And I am proud my parents brought me up like that because it makes me who I am today. I personally don't feel Mona is going through any emotional abuse RIGHT NOW, she may have in the past tracks, but currently not at all. She has the power in her hands but is refusing to use it. So if she is standing their and listening to Ba and Phui and Anchal, well its her own fault.

First of all many of us don't respond very well to scolding, I personally respond to empathy, love and understanding regardless of the mistake, scolding will totally turn me off. I will shut off and become defensive. Mona is not only scolded, she is yelled at and is butt of extreme anger and is abused regarding her background, her lack of gujju skills, her being Punjabi not vaishnav gujju. Mona is not accepted in the household, she is an outsider and treated worse than a servant. Phui sings songs to abuse her and sarcastically calls her Mona Rani.

She tried to fight back but she lacks Gandhi cunningness and abusive skills.

Exactly, everyone is different. as you respond to empathy better then scolding. And I am opposite. It doesn't make one any more right then another. Mona is happy, she is still running around the house with joy, she actually finds joy in making Ambaji understand. So, to me she doesn't seem emotionally abused at any angle.

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#26

Mona is happy, she is still running around the house with joy, she actually finds joy in making Ambaji understand. So, to me she doesn't seem emotionally abused at any angle.

That is HER goodness . Many women in India look at their husbands , focus on their husbands and block the mental torture . It does not obliterate the fact that indeed there HAD BEEN TORTURE . The ones who inflict it are not BLAMELESS bcoz the victim appears happy or tries to find happiness in a higher purpose . In Mona's case the higher purpose is Anukalp ...her marraige . For that she ignores all the nonsense inflicted on her by her self righteous Sasural who believes they are God's Manna sent from heaven to 'discipline' children from other households when their own children r running amok and creating havoc in others lives .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 14 years ago

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pari812000

@pari812000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: April2007
[

I was scolded every time it was my mistake. And I am proud my parents brought me up like that because it makes me who I am today. I personally don't feel Mona is going through any emotional abuse RIGHT NOW, she may have in the past tracks, but currently not at all. She has the power in her hands but is refusing to use it. So if she is standing their and listening to Ba and Phui and Anchal, well its her own fault.

First of all many of us don't respond very well to scolding, I personally respond to empathy, love and understanding regardless of the mistake, scolding will totally turn me off. I will shut off and become defensive. Mona is not only scolded, she is yelled at and is butt of extreme anger and is abused regarding her background, her lack of gujju skills, her being Punjabi not vaishnav gujju. Mona is not accepted in the household, she is an outsider and treated worse than a servant. Phui sings songs to abuse her and sarcastically calls her Mona Rani.

She tried to fight back but she lacks Gandhi cunningness and abusive skills.

To your point about scolding turns off, any human would be not be happy by yelling and scolding, thing is when your shutt off your brain at the time of scolding your ears are still listining and when the brain resumes it thinks about what happend and then decides it self what was right and wrong, and from that point Mona knows taht what ever she has done to protect or with respect to take care of some one she has taken the support of lie and hiding stuff from family, so whenever she gets scolded or yelled she knows or she expected that in advance as she had lied. And that is the reason she never answers back... She does try to explain her self but she has lied so much so far that no one wants to hear any mor lie so she is never given a chance to explain her self.

If she was really being abused taht much then why is she fighting back for her rights with Anchal... because she knows that Anchal is wrong and no one to take Mona for granted... Every one in the family thinks taht Anchal is a very good girl so every one supports her but now that Amabji is smelling something in wrong she has stopped supporting Anchal and in a silent way she is supporting Mona.

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pari812000

@pari812000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
Mona is happy, she is still running around the house with joy, she actually finds joy in making Ambaji understand. So, to me she doesn't seem emotionally abused at any angle.

That is HER goodness . Many women in India look at their husbands , focus on their husbands and block the mental torture . It does not obliterate the fact that indeed there HAD BEEN TORTURE . The ones who inflict it are not BLAMELESS bcoz the victim appears happy or tries to find happiness in a higher purpose . In Mona's case the higher purpose is Anukalp ...her marraige . For that she ignores all the nonsense inflicted on her by her self righteous Sasural who believes they are God's Manna sent from heaven to 'discipline' children from other households when their own children r running amok and creating havoc in others lives .

Agreed about her goodness. She is good taht when she lies to every one to save family and when the family is nto aware of the purpose of her lies untill the last day they react to those lies and she cannot answer back and has to listen to everyone's yelling. Because form Baa & Ambaji's point of view she is lieying and because of that she is not a ideal DIL of the house the way she is. According to them she is still irresponsible and careless about little things that a house wife is suppose to take care of for the family. So in order to improve her all the things happen in the house. They only have good intentions for what they are doing. They want Mona not just a GOOD, HAPPY & CARING person but also as she is now a DIL of the family that follows Conventional Treditions they want her also to be responsible and careful person taht no one like Anchal can come and make a mess in her life.

They don't always blame her for everything Mona lies and that is why she creates problems for her self. I understand that Mona's intentions for lying is good and to protect the family and we know that as a viewer as we can see both side of the stories and other family does not know that untill the truth is revealed so theya re meant to react.

That is so not true that mona's higher puprose or priority is anu. She gives equal priority to evey family member of the house. And she never ignores any thing taht happens in that family, she always try to make sure that she clears the air between her and Ambaji. Even in yesterday's show we saw that Mona approached to ambaji with the niddle and thread part to see if she is still mad a ther. NOT FORGETING THAT AMBAJI IS MAD AT HER BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ANU's SALARY TRUTH AND THAT IS WHY MONA HAS TO START BUSINESS.

Look this form Baa's point of view taht for her Dadaji has always been used too to reading different news papers and all of so sudden without thinking the reaction of the cause mona just decided to stop the news paper so Baa is still upset with her thinking that now mona is hendalling the responsiblities she just decided to stop the news paper. I am sure if she knew the truth then Baa/Bapuji would be the first one to make that call to stop thenews paper.

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pari812000

@pari812000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
Anu really hurt her recently telling her that its not only her house. She has high expectations for Mona, but for one reason or another she always falls short, which hurts Ambaji. Ambaji is a very smart and intelligent character, yes she has a bit of a ego and short temper, but she also cools down just as fast.

Anu was FORCED to open his mouth and point out to his mother the LEGAL and MORAL rights his wife had as none of the elders had the guts and balls to tell Ambaji that she was doing a MISTAKE and was WAY OUT OF LINE . She had told Anu to LEAVE Mona at her maika if this business continued and was constantly harping that this was HER home and that here the rules would be HERS . What in effect she was threatening was for a small business , break ur marraige with her as I DON"T LIKE IT . Its my way or no marraige was her motto .

None of the men had the balls to intervene and put her straight . The other two silly narrow minded women were agreeing with ALL rubbish that she was spouting so autocratically . What was Anukalp supposed to do ...Say... oh Mona won't do the business my Achi Maa?? YEs Maa I will DUMP her if she continues ? THEN he wud be the SON OF THE YEAR i suppose . THe mom does ANY egoistic nonsense and the son has to comply ...why may I know ?

Yes ideally he shud be telling her about the salary cut . But lets suppose he has NOT .EVEN THEN Ambaji is wrong ...VERY wrong to attempt to throw Mona out simply for doing dress designing by giving ultimatums.

Btw its not LITTLE EGO that she has . Its MONUMENTAL .

Agreed that Anu was forced. Anu forced him self because he is the one who has hidden the truth about is pay cut. I am sure if Ambaji would have know the truth about his salary she would not have only helpd Mona in her business but also in adjusting the budjet of the house.

So Ambaji had to listen all that unnecessarily form ANU. Why do we keep forgeting one improtant thing that because we watch the show and therfore we know both side of the stories. and the characters who are acting they just know what they are told and hence Ambji was reacitng on finding out about Mona's business from a third person(Anchal) who presented the news in a completly wrong way so the reaction was expected.

She never told anu to leave Mona to her maika if she continued the busieness. Ambaji said mona is not allowed to do the business in her house and that is why Anu had to say that Mona has equal right on the house as her. And the other two women (Foi & Anchal) were the one who created the seen so obviously they were going to agree.

Yes agreed that Ambaji has a EGO problem big time. However, just like Mona she is good at heart. As soon as she found out about how mona helped Sejal in her studies she was melted right away. She is egoiestic but who creates that situation for Ambaji. Our MONA RANI.

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

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Posted: 14 years ago

#30

She is egoiestic but who creates that situation for Ambaji. Our MONA RANI.

Nobody can increase or decrease anyone's INHERENT EGO . Ambaji may not be evil like Phui . But she is terribly autocratic and dominating . She is good to Mona ONLY when things please HER . Mona is good to her when NOTHING is done to please her ...this is the essential difference . That young girl is more mature and devoid of ego ...even tailor master commented on it . Rest all in Gandhi family have tremendous egos . Only the men are decent ...ALL of them . They are egoless and nice in nature and not so quick to judge others .Unfortunately they have no voice as they are dominated by women in this serial . Ambaji silences husband and sasur whenever they try to tell her anything sensible about not judging MOna so soon . Does she listen ? She raises hand like a queen and indicates she wants no further talk . By not taking ANYONE's opinion on ANY matter , what maturity she shows that she is trying to make a young girl mature and responsible .

Yes I dont forget that we as viewers are seeing both sides of story . But even then ...from Ambaji's POV ...she does NOT know about salary cut ...even THEN , telling that this is MY house and Mona cannot do dress designing is WRONG . U guys keep saying where she told Anukalp leave Mona at maika ...just see that scene and see the ulimatum she gave ...the unspoken sentence was or let her GO from here if MY rules r not followed . That is why Anukalp had to remind her that Mona was a BAHU ...not a roadside help who was HIREd and FIRED according to Ambaji's whims . Same rights that Ambaji had , SHe too had . If Ambaji chose not to hire servants and do Srinath bhakti and live life within four walls ...it was HER ife , if Mona chooses to hire servants for her business , worship Wahe guru and go OUT occasionally from the house , its the life SHE chose .

And what was the big crap about Bahus NEVER going out from threshold of house .Then why is Sejal studying so much ? To stay inside the 4 walls only ? The men seemed pretty broadminded , they never minded Mona going out and doing business ...and they too are part of this same house and traditions that Ambaji boasts of . Neither sasur had problems nor Kalpesh . Nor Anukalp . So its hi time someone told Ambaji that her thinking is antiquated and regressive and that Mona is not a roadside help but bahu like her . Nothing wrong in that ...she invited it with her unreasonable demands . To demand respect u must be mature too , u must consult other family members and take opinions of all . The men and Sejal wud have told Ambaji what THEIR opinions were and Phui and Baa wud have been outweighed . But as mature member of family we dont see Ambaji taking decisions in joint family with a joint consensus do we . Its HER way all the time ...be it not allowing colours on Holi day day and being a spoilsport or her opinions on dress designing .

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Why is all house work Mona's responsibility - Page 3

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