Why is all house work Mona's responsibility - Page 2

Originally posted by: April2007

taral83

I don't see the family culture or society the way you do. I think people who want perfection are very punitive and controlling people. Being perfectionist is horrible.

I see Gandhi family as very punitive and selfish, I don't think one women in joint family should be responsible for the whole family, traditions should never be an excuse to burden or crush any human being. Long time ago it was tradition to sati women, it is still tradition in many families to curse a widow and think of her as bad omen, bad tradition should be reformed.

It true that many young women don't want to be part of the joint family when they watch hindi serials and see DIL being crushed and abused in the name of tradition.

Originally posted by: taral83

I agree..."bad" traditions should be omitted from our society. But no such thing is happening like that in Ghandi house. You are looking at it from you POV and believe that Mona's duty is a burden on her and abuse for that matter. But its not true, Mona herself likes to do the household chores, she has repeated that statement many times, if she didn't she wouldn't care if Anchal did them. But she also wants the responsibility, that is why she was so happy to receive the keys. What I am saying is that every family is different, their customs are different. And if young women don't want to be a part of this "tradition" all they have to simply do is find a guy and family that has the same traditions the girl believes in. We can't judge peoples traditions, we have no right to. Whatever floats their boat. Again all in good taste though, if the Mona doesn't have a problem with the so called abuse, then we should be no one to judge. Again, I never said that the Ghandi parivaar is always right, absolutely not. But what I am saying is that what Ambaji is asking for is not unreasonable.

Originally posted by: April2007

I think there is lots of emotional abuse going on in Ghandi house, in real life if this happens daughter in law will end of deep depression. Three women are constantly abusing and yelling at her for not doing house work properly. I will not call that an emotional abuse, I thing Ambaji is the one who gets hurt more then any other family members in this Drama. If one is hurt them selves how can they abuse someone else? I am surprised to see that no one sees that how much Ambaji gets hurt every time she tries to trus Mona, as everytime Mona messes thing up.

After watching this show many young will want no part of tradition that take away their freedom, human rights and they have to put up with abuse, while their husband has no such obligation. I am a young generation succesfully married women living in a join family living in USA and i am very happy that i get to see all this values via TV and then lean our mistakes through it. Mona is a very good Bahu Character in this movie which teaches us how to communicate with your in-laws even if they are mad at you and eventually every thing will work out. The only thing worng with this character is that she is very clumsy after she makes up her one mistakes she makes sure that she creates another problem in her way.

We have every right to judge, at one time wife beating was acceptable tradition and in some traditions it is still acceptable but we to have condemn it, in the same fashion we should condemn tradition of dowry, gender bias, labusing DIL.All this is not acceptable in any tradition It is illegal and criminal act/offense in every country that i know. if any of this activities are carried out then actions should be taken right away. As far as the show concerns Ghandhi family is not doing any of the above activities with Mona.

Mona is being emotionally abused by all the women of the house, she is called habitual liar who will never reform, she called a punjabi who has no culture, bad wife, mean person, money minded , inferior than all the gujju Rajkot girls, her culture is inferior, her dress sense is inferior the list goes on etc etc on ongoing basis - rMona is not being emotionally abused, i still remember that when i was newly wedd i was crying all the time as it was very difficult for me to understand my in-laws, however now that i know them we are a happy family. As i said earlier Ambaji is get hurt her self in this adjusting phase of Mona and Ambaji not only Mona. I understand that Mona gets punished all the time but that is for her own m istakes and foolishenss. Not to forget that Ambaji keeps fast her self too... Regarding other women in the house - those are the bad character and if they were not there then we would not be watching the RMJ at first place and not to forget that they treat Ambaji in a same way as they treat Mona.

Originally posted by: April2007

I think there is lots of emotional abuse going on in Ghandi house, in real life if this happens daughter in law will end of deep depression. Three women are constantly abusing and yelling at her for not doing house work properly. I agree, as I said and continue saying she is not "appreciated for her work" but that doesn't mean their expectations are wrong, their reaction is wrong.

After watching this show many young will want no part of tradition that take away their freedom, human rights and they have to put up with abuse, while their husband has no such obligation. That depends on the person, many girls still want to have a joint family and traditions, while many want to live separate, have freedom and live a independent life. Again we can't just assume that this will change someone's thinking, because modern day thinking is already changing in today's young society. No one serial is doing that, but other media also, such as music, internet, bollywood, society in general, role models etc.

We have every right to judge, at one time wife beating was acceptable tradition and in some traditions it is still acceptable but we to have condemn it, in the same fashion we should condemn tradition of dowry, gender bias, labusing DIL. emotionally and physically. Mona is being emotionally abused by all the women of the house, she is called habitual liar who will never reform, she called a punjabi who has no culture, bad wife, mean person, money minded , inferior than all the gujju Rajkot girls, her culture is inferior, her dress sense is inferior the list goes on etc etc on ongoing basis No one ever has a right to judge, but we take it upon our self to judge. Helping and judging are two different things. You can help to stop physical abuse by taking action, but just stand their and point a finger and judge, no one has the right to do that. Mona is called a habitual liar because she has done that, yes we know for good reasons, but again the character don't know that. And the characters are also wrong for judging the Punjabi family, as I said, they are no one to judge the Punjabi culture. Mona has brought certain situation to herself, while others where bad reactions on the families part including Anu. Let me ask you this, in your POV Mona is being abused because she can't do her housework right, but then why doesn't she open her mouth and say why is is trying to handle a job and household chores? Why is she taking the verbal abuse or taunts that the 3 ladies seem to shower her with all day long? She has the solution at hand but wishes not to speak, well then who's fault is that?

Originally posted by: April2007

I cannot discuss both of yours personal situation, I don't know you, your family or your in laws. What I am hearing from you is your own one sided picture of the situation and your views regarding your inlaws. I am sure others will have different view of you and your inlaws.

What I see is called extreme emotional abuse, I am aware you disagree but I don't see the way you are seeing things, maybe we are watching a different serial. It is very clear that we come from very different background. Where I come from even accusing a child of lies, irresponsibility and dishonesty and abusing their parents and their culture is called emotional abuse but Mona is an adult. In my culture adults don't ask for permission to step out of the house, neither they are scolded and yelled by another adults regardless of the relationship. Even your own parent don't yell and scold you. Doing excessive amount of work is another kind of abuse.

On the other note, Ambaji is unhappy and is hurt because of her controlling nature and very high sense of entitlement, she expects very high standard from her son, and DIL. Everybody should walk on the line drawn by her because her husband doesn't earn so the son has to take his place..She is one unhappy women. She wants everybody to dance to her tune..when that doesn't happen she is unhappy..She has supressed her husband and son and now is on they way to do the same to her DIL.