Love in the Ice (new ff with DBSK)

Everyone is searching for a place that can heal their sadness and loneliness. I am too.

"Designer Jason Choi's most anticipated fashion show till date is finally here. But what the talk of the town is the launch of the new face of Panache through this fashion show. Jessica Jung was a struggling model until she impressed Kim Jaejoong in her last ramp walk. That's right, CEO of Panache, Mr. Kim Jaejoong gave Ms. Jung her break and now she is the show stopper for Jason Choi's show tonight. Let's see if she can take the fashion world by storm like Mrs. Sonia Kim once did before she got married. This is Kara Shim, Fashion News."

Sonia watched the news reporter end her little broadcast as she sat next to her husband, waiting for the show to begin. The reporter's words rang in her ears… "Let's see if she can take the fashion world by storm like Mrs. Sonia Kim once did before she got married."

Sonia sighed as she remembered her modeling days…she missed in dearly. The chaos backstage, the process of getting ready, trying on different outfits...but what she missed most was the ramp. The rush of stepping on it as the cameras flashed away, capturing her every move. The sway of her hips as she reached the end of the ramp and posed. The thrill of being the show stopper. She missed everything. If only…if only she's been more careful two years ago…then maybe she still would have been a top model today.

Sonia turned to look at her husband, who was busy chatting with his dear friend and Panache's manager, Kim Junsu. Her husband…Kim Jaejoong…the most handsome man she has ever met. His piercing gray eyes, smooth skin, dark brown hair that fell over his eyes, and a dimple adding a boyish charm to cold looks. Is it any wonder she was enchanted by him when she first met him? And now…he was her husband. Sonia sighed again and closed her haunted eyes.

Sonia came out of the shower to an empty bedroom. She wasn't surprised. Jaejoong rarely talked to her or tell her where he is. They came back from the fashion show about an hour ago when Sonia decided to take a shower. Jaejoong was in the room when she went into the bathroom, however he wasn't there now. Sonia tried not to be disappointed.

'Stupid girl.' She scolded herself. Jaejoong never tells her anything, then why should it be any different now.

'Stupid girl for hoping that he might change…that he might actually start caring…actually start loving you back….'. That's correct…she loved him. Despite his hatred towards her, she still loved him. She loved him then…and she still loved him now. Sonia's thoughts were interrupted when she heard the sound of crying through the baby monitor. She quickly rushed to the nursery and warmth filled her heart as she took her 1 year old baby boy into her embrace.

"Sshhhh…it's ok sweetie…mommy's here." Sonia whispered as she gently patted Younjae's back. His wails became into soft whimpers until he finally fell asleep again in his mother's arms. He was the picture of Jaejoong, but he had his mother's soft brown eyes.

Once Sonia put Youngjae back into his crib, she went back to her and Jaejoong's bedroom and got ready for bed. She sat in front of the mirror combing her hair. She had jet black hair that fell in soft curls around her mid-back, almond shaped brown eyes, porcelain skin, and a killer body even after giving birth. Is it any wonder she was the most successful model of Panache?

But that was before she became pregnant. Clause 27 of the Panache contract…a model cannot get pregnant when she is a Panache model. She broke that rule…and she broke it with none other than the boss…Kim Jaejoong.

She finished brushing her hair and got into her side of the bed, book in hand, to get some reading done while she waited for Jaejoong. Even thought it irritates him that she waits for him…she can't help it. However, as soon as her head hit the pillow sleep over took her…she didn't realize how tired she was.

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there goes the first chapter! hope you like it...

Jaejoong quietly slipped off the bed to not disturb a sleeping Jessica. She had a busy day today with her launch as the new face of Panache. He dressed himself in the dark and quietly slipped out from his current mistresses' apartment.

He dreaded going home, but he had an early day tomorrow at work…But damn...he dreaded going home…because SHE was home. Oh how he hated her. She took away his freedom. She tricked him!

He should have been more careful two years ago. He should have known that the drink was drugged. He was foolish to celebrate the success of yet another fashion show with her. They partied with the rest of the team after the show, then how did he end up alone with her that night? It was all a big blur to him…all he knew was that they slept together that night…and nine months later Youngjae was born.

A smile formed on his lips with the thought of his son. No matter how much he despised the mother, he couldn't help but love his son. Being the responsible man that he was, and to avoid a scandal, he married Sonia when he found out she was pregnant. And he has hated her since.

Kim Jaejoong never wanted to get married. He hated the whole idea of it. The nasty divorce his parents went through when he was younger was still fresh in his mind. He was a successful man who ruled the fashion world with his company. Panache is known to have launched the best models to date…and have the best designers working for it. He loved his freedom, his lifestyle, his many lovers…all of that gone with one mistake.

He still remembers when he signed Sonia as the new face of Panache. She truly was the best. The confidence she portrayed on the ramp out shone all the other models. And her catwalk always upped the temperature of the room by ten degrees. Everything was going great until that one night…that night ruined everything. Oh how he hated her…

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He stepped into the room, expecting Sonia to be waiting, but he found her sound asleep. Of course she would be, it was 3 am at night. Surprisingly, he felt irritation rise in him that she didn't wait for him, but quickly brushed that feeling off as irritation for having to spend another night with her took over.

As he changed into his pj pants and took off his shirt, he caught a glimpse of Sonia's face in the moonlight. She has become even more beautiful than she was before. She could still be a model today if she wanted, and she would take the fashion world by storm once again.

"Junsu, make sure we get that meeting set up with the delegates from New York. I don't care how you do it but I want it done within this week." Jaejoong spoke into his cell phone as he got ready for work. He walked into his closet to get his shoes, while he listened to Junsu and tied his tie at the same time.

"By the way, how are things going with Sandara Park? Has she been giving any trouble at the photo shoots or shows?" Jaejoong asked about one of Panache's models who recently has been misbehaving and having ridiculous demands while working.

Sonia's ears irked up at the mention of Sandara Park. She was Sonia's biggest rival when she was still modeling. Sandara always wanted to be the face of Panache, but lost to Sonia when she entered the fashion world. Sonia pretended to comb her hair as she watched Jaejoong roam around the room getting ready.

Jaejoong fixed his cufflinks as he listened to Junsu on the other line. "Ok give her a final warning. If she misbehaves again then terminate her contract." Jaejoong said before hanging up. He made his way to the bedroom door before Sonia called out to him.

"Wait!" Sonia said.

Jaejoong turned around irritated. "Don't you ever call out to me when I'm leaving for work, understood?" Jaejoong said in an icy cold tone while he glared at her.

"I….I'm sorry…but…bu.." Sonia stammered.

"What!? I don't have all day" Jaejoong spat at her. He crossed his arms in impatience as he waited for Sonia to say something. Jaejoong's eyes then slightly widened in surprise when Sonia walked up to him instead.

She kept her eyes downcast as she made her way to Jaejoong, and silently, she lifted her hands to his crooked tie and fixed it.

"Your tie…it was crooked." Sonia softly whispered, keeping her gaze lowered in fear of making eye contact with Jaejoong.

Jaejoong didn't move a muscle. He wanted to say something nasty to her…something rude…something insulting like he usually does. But for some reason, he remained silent…he only watched her. When she moved back Jaejoong quickly turned around and left for work.

Sonia watched Jaejoong's retreating back and mentally hit herself for what she just did. 'Stupid…why did you have to do that. Why couldn't you just tell him that his tie was crooked? Why did you have to go and fix it yourself', she silently scolded herself and went into the bathroom to get ready.

Jaejoong drove his car towards home from Jessica's apartment, his mind occupied with what Junsu said. Throwing a lavish party for Sonia's birthday means acting like the ideal couple in front of everybody…again. He sighed. He hated acting like the ideal husband in front of everyone…affectionately touching Sonia….showing how much he is in love with her.

The incident from this morning came rushing back to him. Sonia's downcast eyes, her gentle hands as she fixed his tie…those same hands caressing his bare chest as he passionately kissed her…

*Flashback*

Sonia swayed her hips as she walked down the ramp. When she reached the end, she posed…hips shot and a hand resting on it…her face oozing confidence…her stance bursting with attitude. She saw the cameras flash around her, and caught Jaejoong's eye, who was sitting on the front row.

"CHEERS!" everyone yelled and clinked glasses. The Panache team was celebrating the success of yet another show at a local club. Jason Choi's current line was a major hit among foreigners, and the photographer from Vogue Paris was showing interest in the show stopper, also known as Sonia Park, the current face of Panache.

Sonia sipped her martini as she chatted with Changmin, a fellow model and a good friend.

"I'm so happy for you Sonia, the photographer from Vogue Paris is showing interest in you…that's such a good opportunity for you." Changmin stated as he sipped his vodka.

Before Sonia could answer back, someone snorted before an annoying voice spoke up, "Don't think that just because he showed interest you're going to actually be on the cover of Vogue. You neither have the talent nor the looks to pull it off."

Sonia and Changmin turn to the owner of the voice, who was none other than Sandara Park, Sonia's rival. Sonia calmly sipped her drink, ignoring Sandara's comment, but Changmin wasn't as nice.

"And I suppose you have the talent and looks to be on the cover of Vogue? News flash babe…you're neither the face of Panache nor the show stopper of the night. Sonia is. She will always be the better model." Changmin smirked as he wiped Sandara's bitchy look off her face with his words.

Sandara huffed out an angry breath before walking away from them. "You shouldn't have been so mean Changmin." Sonia said watching Sandara's retreating back. She never wanted to be bitter rivals with her, but Sandara always tried to outdo her.

At the bar, Jaejoong watched Sonia leave the dance floor after a few songs and head his way. He smiled at her as she plopped down on the seat next to him and picked up the martini she abandoned earlier.

After a sip she looked at Jaejoong and smiled back. "Thank you so much for everything. I'm here because you gave me the chance to prove myself." Sonia said in a grateful tone.

Jaejoong waved her off, "There's no need for that. You always were a super model…I just introduced you into my world. Besides, your Panache's best at the moment…I should be thanking you for your hard work."

Sonia smiled at him, her heart fluttering a little when he smiled again. She has had the biggest crush on him since their first meeting. He was perfect in every way. He was handsome, successful, fun, kind, and not to mention ridiculously sexy…who wouldn't want to be with him?

Sonia took another sip of her martini before she started feeling a little dizzy. "Whoa…I think I had a bit too much to drink tonight. I should stop before I get completely wasted." Sonia said, setting her half full drink aside.

"Here, let me finish your drink so it won't go to waste." Jaejoong downed the drink in one go and then went back to nursing his whiskey.

After a few more minutes of chit-chat, Jaejoong started to feel dizzy. "Mr. Kim…are you ok?" Sonia asked slightly concerned. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, before he fell forward. Panicked, Sonia quickly grabbed Jaejoong before he hit the floor and place his arm around her shoulder, supporting him.

She stumbled into Jaejoong's bedroom, trying to support him as much as possible. She place him on the bed and was about to leave when he grabbed her hand and pulled her on top of him.

"Mr. Kim what are you….?" Sonia began to say but was silenced when he placed a finger on her lips.

He then rolled on top of her and gently caressed her face. "You're so beautiful…" he slurred.

Sonia was captivated by his touch. It sent goose bumps down her arms and butterflies in her stomach. She was a little tipsy herself, so she didn't think about pushing him away.

They looked into each other's eyes before Jaejoong lowered himself and captured Sonia's lips.

*Flashback End*

Jaejoong slammed the front door as he stepped into his mansion, anger still evident in his movements. He made his way upstairs to his and Sonia's bedroom, ready to scold her, for whatever reason. But much to his surprise, she wasn't in the room. 'Strange…it's' almost 2 am, where could she be?'

Jaejoong then turned, his feet taking him to the nursery room. When he opened the door he saw Sonia on the rocking chair with Youngjae. But what caught his attention was the cream colored skin of Sonia's breast as she fed his son. Jaejoong quickly diverted his gaze in order to not get caught staring at her.

Sonia quickly covered herself up as she heard the nursery door open. She felt shyness overcome her as her eyes landed on Jaejoong. Her eyes then met his icy cold orbs, and the warmth she felt earlier left her. 'Is he still mad about this morning?' Sonia wondered.

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He shook his head as he waited in the bedroom, trying to get the image of Sonia breast feeding Youngjae out of his mind. He refused to believe that the sight affected him…that it slightly weakened his knees. The thought that she had that power over him infuriated Jaejoong.

When he heard the door open, he got ready to insult her due to spite. But the insult got caught in his throat. There goes that feeling again…the weakening of the knees as he watched Sonia come in with Youngjae in her arms. And he clenched his jaw, mad that she affected him that way twice in the same night.

"I thought I told you to put him to sleep? Didn't I make it clear that I needed to talk to you?" Jaejoong spat, making Sonia flinch at his bitter tone.

"I'm…I'm sorry…it's just that….Young…Youngjae is restless tonight. I couldn't leave him by himself." Sonia stammered.

For a moment Jaejoong forgot his hatred. His expression softened as he frowned, his eyes reflecting concern for his son. He went closer and touched Youngjae's cheek.

"He doesn't seem to have fever. Did he eat properly today?" Jaejoong asked worried, not realizing the close distance between him and Sonia, as he caressed his son's face. When Sonia didn't say anything, he looked up to realize she was only a few inches away from him.

Sonia remained silent, completely aware of his closeness. She could even smell his cologne.

Jaejoong stepped back abruptly, clearing his throat. "Anyways, I wanted to tell you that you need to start planning your birthday party. The fashion world is expecting something lavish since you are my wife." His icy cold tone was back again.

Before Sonia could reply, Jaejoong turned around and went into the bathroom to take a shower. Sonia sighed as she made her way to the bed. She placed Youngjae in the middle and laid down on her side of the bed. She gently patted him and hummed him a lullaby as both drifted off to sleep.

Sonia walked into the lobby of the Panache building. The receptionist smiled and let her through without asking any questions. Sonia took the elevator up to the top floor, the floor where Jaejoong and Junsu's offices were located.

That morning, she woke to a sleeping Youngjae and an otherwise empty bedroom. Jaejoong seemed to have left for work extra early. A few hours later she got a call from Park Yoochun, a well known photographer and really good friend. Yoochun and Sonia became friends when she was still a struggling model. He was her first photographer. Yoochun went on a fashion assignment abroad around the same time Sonia got pregnant, and they lost touch. However, he was now back from his two year assignment.

So you ask what has that got to do with her coming to Panache? Yoochun wanted to have lunch with Sonia today and catch up.

Sonia has been calling Jaejoong all morning to let him know that she will be out with a friend, but he hasn't been picking up her calls. No surprise there. So Sonia decided to simply drop by before her lunch date with Yoochun. At first she hesitated to come…knowing that Jaejoong won't be too pleased in seeing her. But she wanted to let him know none-the-less that she might be late coming home tonight. She stepped out of the elevator and was greeted by a huge poster of Jessica Jung.

She walked up to the picture and longingly looked at it…her picture used to be there as well.

"I still say your picture looked the best on that wall."Sonia turned to the owner of the voice and came face-to-face with a smiling Junsu. She smiled back as he gave her a peck on the cheek, greeting her.

"What are you doing here?" Junsu asked curious.

"I came to tell Jaejoong something…is he in his cabin?" Sonia asked as casually as possible, trying to sound like it's the most natural thing for her to visit her husband.

"You're right on time. He just came back from a meeting. Go right ahead." Junsu replied before going on his way.

Sonia reached Jaejoong's cabin door and took a deep breath before knocking. When Jaejoong replied, she entered. It's amazing how a person's expression can change in a second. Jaejoong's expression went from curious to frosty right before her eyes.

"What are you doing here and what do you want?" Jaejoong asked emotionlessly.

"Sor…sorry to…sorry to bother you…you wouldn't answer your phone, so…" Sonia stammered.

"Come to the point. I don't have all day." Jaejoong said cutting her off.

Sonia took a deep calming breath before continuing, "I just came to tell you that I'll be going out with a friend today…" "So?" Jaejoong rudely cut her off again.

He shuffled some papers on his desk before continuing, "I don't care what you do and who you do it with." Jaejoong said, dismissing her. He didn't bother looking back up, even when he heard his cabin door gently close.

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Jaejoong entered his mansion to find one of his maids still there. She bowed in front of him as he asked curiously, "What are you still doing here? It's…" he looked at his watch, "11:30 pm."

"Forgive me sir, but madam is not back yet and she gave me specific instructions to stay with Youngjae sir until one of you came back." The maid said before bowing again and making her exit.

Jaejoong frowned at what the maid said. 'Not back yet? Where could she be this late at night?' he thought to himself. Then he remembered Sonia mentioning earlier today that she was going out with a friend. 'But who would she be with this late at night?...'

Jaejoong shrugged off the question. 'Like he cared…if he's lucky she won't come back.' Jaejoong thought stubbornly.

He took a quick shower and hurried to the nursery. He didn't spend as much time as he liked with Youngjae, since he was with Sonia most of the time. Jaejoong reached the nursery and his usually cold face softened when he saw Youngjae in his crib, playing with his teddy bear.

"Hi son…" Jaejoong murmured as he lifted Youngjae into his arms, pressing a gentle kiss on his temple. Youngjae cooed, putting his chubby little hands on Jaejoong's cheeks. When Jaejoong smiled, Youngjae poked his dimple, flashing his own in the process.

Jaejoong sat with Youngjae in the rocking chair and softly hummed a lullaby. When Youngjae's eyes finally closed, Jaejoong's eyes glanced at the clock…12:15 am.

He wasn't waiting…of course he wasn't waiting…

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Sonia stepped into the mansion at 12:45 am, expecting the maid to still be there. She frowned when she didn't see her anywhere. She specifically told the maid to stay with Youngjae until she or Jaejoong came back. Does that mean Jaejoong…? No…he never comes back this early. The maid was probably around somewhere.

Sonia felt emptiness in her chest, Jaejoong's words still ringing in her ears from this afternoon. His words have always been harsh…and they have always pierced Sonia's heart until she felt nothing. All that was left was numbness.

She went straight to the nursery, wanting to check up on Youngjae before she went for a shower…and she was welcomed by a warm sight…

There was Jaejoong…sleeping on the rocking chair while holding a sleeping Youngjae.

Sonia watched them for a few moments, soaking in every detail…capturing this moment in her memory. It was rare to see father and son together like this…completely unguarded and at peace.

She then moved as quietly as possible, taking a blanket and placing it over their sleeping forms. She lightly caressed Youngjae's cheek before kissing his head. She then glanced at Jaejoong's sleeping face…she knew she shouldn't have…but she couldn't help herself. She placed a gentle kiss on Jaejoong's forehead as well, before quietly leaving, closing the door behind her.

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Jaejoong opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of Sonia's retreating back, before he simply looked at the now closed door. He stared at it for several moments, lost in his thoughts; until he felt Youngjae shift in his arms.

This chapter has some sexual content and foul language in the end...nothing too explicit...its pg-13...but just warning you guys...

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Sonia smiled at yet another guest who wished her happy birthday. She was dressed in a deep red satin gown with a halter neck, leaving her shoulders and back bare, and that hugged her every curve before cascading down to the floor. Her hair was up in an elegant bun and she wore simple diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet to finish off her look.

Jaejoong stole glances at her as he stood with her in a circle of guests, including Junsu and Changmin. Sonia looked exceptionally beautiful tonight and he couldn't help but look at her once in a while. He then noticed Park Yoochun and Jung Yunho, a well known model turned actor, approach the group. He also noticed Sonia's face break out into a genuine smile as she spotted the approaching men.

"Happy birthday darling." Yoochun said as he kissed Sonia's cheek. Sonia simply smiled back.

"I'm sure you know Jung Yunho." Yoochun introduced Yunho as he shook Jaejoong's hand in greeting.

"Yes of course…I've never worked with him but I know of his work." Sonia stated and extended her hand to Yunho for a handshake. "Pleasure to meet youYunho" Sonia said politely.

"Pleasure is all mine gorgeous. And Happy birthday." Yunho said, lifting Sonia's hand to his lips, surprising her. Jaejoong's eyes flicked to where Yunho kissed Sonia's hand and he frowned.

"Sooo…" Yoochun began, "have you told Jaejoong about what we talked about Sonia?"

Jaejoong gave you a questioning look, "When did you meet him?" he asked as casually as possible.

"Ummm…you know that day…when I went to your office…" Sonia began to explain, but was cut off by Yoochun.

"So you haven't told him?" he asked.

"Tell me what?" Jaejoong asked getting very curious.

"Well I was wondering if Sonia would like to model for one of my upcoming photo shoots." Yoochun asked.

When Sonia had lunch with Yoochun a week ago, he asked her to be part of his current project, but she said that she would have to talk to Jaejoong about it first. However, Sonia couldn't help but feel extremely excited at the thought of modeling again, even if it was for a little bit.

"But she doesn't model any more…and she's married." Jaejoong stated the obvious.

Sonia bowed her head slightly in disappointment. Of course he wouldn't agree. Silly her for thinking that even for a moment.

"Well Sonia would actually be perfect for the concept. You see the designer who hired me for the job is advertising jeans. And his basic concept is that he wants people of all ages wearing it. Even married women…or mothers even. And they can look sexy wearing it too. I think Sonia would be perfect for it. And plus…I miss taking photos of her" Yoochun playfully winked at Sonia before continuing, "models these days just don't have the same charisma she did." Yoochun stated, trying his best to convince Jaejoong.

Sonia held her breath, waiting for Jaejoong's decision. Junsu, who was quite this whole time, finally spoke, "I think it's a good idea. It will definitely get the message across to the common public, especially if it's a model who relates to them."

Jaejoong pondered a little bit more, especially after he heard Junsu's opinion. Why should he care what Sonia does anyways? She could do whatever she wanted after all. Jaejoong then gave a fake smile before answering, "Alright then, she can do it if that's what she really wants." Everyone around them became excited. The Queen would model after two whole years.

'Why did he agree? Did he finally realize how much she missed it!? Does she still have it in her? Will she be able to face the camera again?' All these thoughts rushed through Sonia's head as she took a quick break in the ladies room, trying to calm her excitement.

She then rushed out in search of Jaejoong. No matter what the reason was, she had to thank him. She spotted him in the corner talking to some business associates. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, asking, "Jaejoong…can I talk to you for a moment?"

Jaejoong felt the warmth of her hand through his tuxedo coat. He excused himself and followed Sonia to an isolated hallway.

"What?" Jaejoong asked irritated.

Sonia took a calming breath before she spoke, "I wanted to thank you…for letting me model again. You don't know how much I missed it."

"Well if you hadn't tricked me into getting you pregnant you wouldn't have to give it up it in the first place." Jaejoong stated rudely.

He turned to leave but then stopped, turning to face a hurt Sonia, "Oh and just to make it clear…" Jaejoong continued unaffected, "I didn't agree to let you model again because you missed it. I could care less. I only agreed because I didn't want to come off as a bad husband in front of everyone. Image is everything in the fashion world. People need to know that the CEO of Panache is a happily married man to a former successful model, and that his son is not a scandalous mistake."

With that said, Jaejoong went back to the party, leaving behind a devastated Sonia. She never understood why he blamed her for that night. Why he thought she tricked him into it. She thought they were in it together. That the feeling was mutual…but he blamed her. She felt her excitement die away as the numbness returned once again.

Sonia took a sip of her drink, trying to hide her sadness as she watched people enjoying themselves on the dance floor.

"Why the long face birthday girl?" Sonia turned to see Yunho approaching her.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Sonia asked, avoiding his question.

Yunho nodded smiling. "It's a great party. But you know what would make it even better?" He asked.

Sonia gave him a curious look when Yunho extended his hand to her.

"If I got the opportunity to dance with the birthday girl" He answered, a gentle smile on his face.

Sonia hesitated. She wasn't sure how Jaejoong would feel about this, and she also didn't want any unnecessary gossip.

"Oh common, just one dance. I promise to behave." Yunho said playfully. "Unless…you're too scared that you won't be able to keep up with me…" he stated confidently. That did it.

Sonia chuckled and placed her hand in Yunho's, letting him lead her to the dance floor. He pulled her close and started doing the tango.

Yunho spun her around and gave her a swift dip, before pulling her back up and moving with the fast paced music. Sonia let out a hearty laugh, her previous mood forgotten for the moment. She met Yunho step-for-step until the dance came to a close, moving to a slower number.

"Thank you…for cheering me up" Sonia said as she beamed up at a smiling Yunho.

"You're welcome. I gotta keep my future partner happy." He said playfully.

"Excuse me?" Sonia asked confused.

"I might as well tell you. I'm the model you're partnered up with for Yoochun's project." Yunho stated.

Sonia formed an 'o' with her lips, before she asked, "But I thought you don't model anymore?"

"I don't, but Yoochun is a friend and I'm only doing this for him" Yunho answered.

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Jaejoong finished the rest of his whiskey in one gulp and asked the bartender for another. He was in a foul mood, the memory of his wife and Yunho dancing still replaying itself in his mind.

He remembered his jaw clenching and hands forming fists at the sight of them, simply enjoying each other's company. Sonia never smiled at him like that. He almost went up to them if he hadn't caught himself in the last moment, confused as to why he felt angry. Sonia was allowed to do whatever she wanted. The sight of her with another man shouldn't bother him.

He kept on telling himself it was because he feared another scandal. He was mad that Sonia wasn't being careful enough. But who was he kidding? A harmless dance with a guest will never create a scandal.

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Most of the guests have already left. Sonia and Jaejoong stood at the door saying their goodbyes to the last remaining.

"It was a wonderful party Sonia", Yoochun said as he kissed Sonia's cheek. He then shook hands with Jaejoong. "Thank you for inviting me…and thank you for letting Sonia model for me again." He said, smiling genuinely.

Jaejoong smiled back, putting his arm around Sonia's shoulder. "It's not a problem at all…honestly. I'm happy that she'll be doing it again." He answered.

Sonia gave a weak smile, her body slightly stiffening at his touch. Yunho then stepped up to bid his goodbye. Jaejoong felt his jaw clench again.

"Thank you for such a wonderful evening Mr. and Mrs. Kim." He said politely. He then gave Sonia a soft peck on her cheek before he said, "I'll see you soon….partner."

He playfully grinned and winked at Sonia before he and Yoochun exited…leaving behind an irritated Jaejoong.

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Sonia softly chuckled at Yunho's comment as she watched them exit the front door. But when she turned to face Jaejoong, her smile faded, seeing his infuriated glare.

"Jaejoong what's wron…" Sonia couldn't finish her sentence. Jaejoong grabbed her wrist roughly and dragged her up the stairs.

"ow! Jaejoong…." Sonia yelped in pain. She tried to pry his hand loose, but to no avail.

Her discomfort fell on deaf ears. Jaejoong was too furious to listen. The image of Sonia and Yunho dancing intimately to the tango flashed through his eyes again. Sonia laughing openly at something Yunho said…prettily blushing as he kissed her goodbye. And what did he mean by 'seeing her soon'!? And he WINKED at her!

Jaejoong dragged a squirming Sonia into their bedroom and turned to angrily look at her.

Sonia looked scared and confused at the same time. Not knowing what she did wrong.

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He felt angry! At her and at himself. He promised himself he would not fall for her charms again. And yet she still managed to make him jealous.

When she tried to break free from his grasp he roughened the kiss. Taking her wrists and pinning them to the wall.

He felt furious! He's sure Sonia initiated the flirting with Yunho. He's sure that she enjoyed being in another man's arms. Slut!...WHORE! She's doing it on purpose to get a rise out of him.

He slightly opened his eyes to see tears forming on Sonia's eyes. The water getting caught on her lashes. It caused his hold on her to slightly gentle.

Who was he kidding? He was angry at himself for knowing…deep inside…that she wouldn't do something like that. He knew deep inside…that she cared…for him and his son. That night when she caught him with Youngjae…he knew that she wasn't capable of doing all the things he accused her for. Even before everything went wrong, he remembered her being a sweet, innocent girl he took under his wing.

Jaejoong was about to let Sonia go until he felt her finally kissing back, much to his surprise. The kiss gentled…it became more slow…more savoring. Jaejoong let go of Sonia's wrists and slowly glided his hands down her sides before encircling her waist. He felt her uncertainness as she placed her hands around his neck. But he felt her longing as well.

He trailed kisses on her jaw line, pulling her closer to him by the waist. When his lips reached her neck, he placed a soft kiss on her hammering pulse before continuing to her bare shoulder.

He twirled her around and started leading her towards the bed. When he reached to undo her gown, his eyes met Sonia's. He should stop. He knew he should. This is a big mistake. For a moment he considered just leaving her there. But what she did next surprised him. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek and smiled at him. She genuinely smiled at him…even after all the things he said and did to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Jaejoong looked out into the darkness of the room, trying to wrap his mind around what happened. After they made love Sonia went to the bathroom, leaving Jaejoong alone for a moment with his thoughts. When he heard the bathroom door open, he shut his eyes to pretend he is sleeping.

Sonia smiled when her eyes landed on Jaejoong. He was so devastatingly handsome. And he looked like an angel sleeping. She couldn't help but feel drawn to him. She made her way to the bed and sat next to him…simply observing him.

Not being able to control herself, Sonia placed a soft kiss on his forehead. And another gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled back a little to see Jaejoong slightly open his eyes, gazing back at her. They stayed like that for a moment, noses almost touching…simply looking at each other.

Jaejoong then sighed, feeling the ice in his heart melt a little. He placed his hand at the back of Sonia's neck, gently pulling her down for another kiss. He then rolled over, trapping her beneath him for another round of love making.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so what do you guys think so far? good?...bad?....please comment.

"Alright Sonia, I want you to lean in to Yunho a little…that's right just like that." Yoochun directed as he clicked away with his camera.

Sonia did as she was told, but her mind was on something else. It's been 3 weeks since her and Jaejoong made love. He was so gentle that it made Sonia smile at the memory. However, he hasn't talked or interacted with her since that night, which made Sonia sigh in disappointment.

"Ok now I want you to completely lean on Yunho. Put one leg around his waist and Yunho I want you to place a hand on Sonia's thigh. Yeah just like that." CLICK! "Bring the passion in guys…I want you to look at each other with lust." CLICK!

Yoochun grinned when he finished up the last few poses. He knew he made the right decision in using Sonia for this shoot. And she STILL had it in her. The camera simply loved her. "Alright guys it's a wrap! Good Job." Yoochun said as he put down his camera and made his way to Sonia, giving her a hug.

"You guys were fabulous." He said, flashing his dimples at her.

Sonia let out a relieved breath. "Thank God. I was so worried I was doing it all wrong." She replied.

"Oh please darling…we're the best…that's why Yoochun chose us." Yunho said, winking at Yoochun and giving Sonia a grin.

They were then interrupted by Yunho's secretary, "Sir, madam is on the line."

Sonia noticed Yunho's face lit up as he excused himself and went to a quiet corner with his phone.

Yoochun chuckled before turning back to face a slightly curious Sonia, "That's his girlfriend calling." When Sonia gave a surprised look, Yoochun laughed.

Another week later.

Jaejoong downed another glass of whiskey, starting to get a little tipsy. He looked down at the picture of Sonia straddling Yunho for the jeans ad, and downed another glass of whiskey. As expected, the ad was a success. But more than that, Sonia was welcomed back into the fashion world with open arms. She already received 4 new offers for modeling after the success of the jeans ad.

Jaejoong wasn't surprised. He knew she was the best at what she did. But no matter how much he wanted to…he couldn't deny the fact that the ad bugged him. Yunho's hand was placed dangerously close to Sonia's buttocks. And the way they were looking at each other…Jaejoong downed another glass of whiskey.

He has been avoiding Sonia for 4 weeks now. Always leaving early for work, working late into the night…or going to Jessica's. He hated himself for losing control. And he blamed Sonia for seducing him…yet again.

What added to his fury was that he wanted her again…and she wasn't here. She was with Yunho, celebrating the success of their ad. Was she wrapping her arms around Yunho's neck like she did with him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Junsu parked his car in front of one of the local clubs. He entered and searched for a familiar figure. It wasn't hard…she was creating havoc at the bar. Junsu approached a completely drunk Sandara Park.

He was heading home when he got a call from a friend that Sandara was drunk and misbehaving again. This was the last straw. Her misbehaviors were starting to effect Panache's reputation…and Junsu was now personally here to deal with her.

"I demand you give me another drink! Do…do you know who I am?!" Sandara slurred at the bartender as she struggled in the security guard's grip.

"I got her." Junsu simply said as he grabbed Sandara by her arm and dragged her towards the exit.

"Enough Sandara." Junsu said in an authoritative tone as she started struggling with him. But Sandara didn't listen. She was too drunk to listen. Earlier today she found out about the success of Sonia's ad, which is the reason why she got drunk tonight. When she continued to struggle, Junsu held her by her shoulders, giving her a threatening glare.

"Do you want Jaejoong to deal with you instead? You know his temper. The boss will be really pissed off if he has to leave his wife and kid in the middle of the night to deal with you." Junsu threatened.

"It's all that bitch's fault!" Sandara spat out, Junsu's words not affecting her drunken state. "She will not take my success away again..." Sandara lost her balance, but Junsu caught her…very confused at what she is saying.

"Sandara, what are you talking about?" Junsu asked as he maneuvered her to his car.

"That bi…that bitch Sonia. She will not take away my spotlight again. I…I ruined her once…I will do it…again…" Sandara murmured, too drunk to realize what she was saying.

Junsu frowned, "Ruin Sonia?' What are you talking about?" He asked, now extremely confused.

Sandara giggled. "I drugged her drink that night…*giggle*…she got pregnant…and *giggle*…she was out of my way…" Sandara giggled one more time before she finally passed out in Junsu's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonia entered the Kim mansion around 1:30 am. She was out with the team celebrating the success of the ad. She would have come home earlier but Yoochun kept on convincing her to stay a few minutes more. And she honestly enjoyed herself after a long time, the thrill of success still running through her. She had forgotten how it felt to have your work appreciated. She was so surprised at the reaction the ad got, and to know that the fashion world missed her work so much put her on cloud nine.

She entered the dark bedroom; with a small smile adorning her face when Jaejoong's slashing voice startled her.

"Good to know you're finally home from your rendezvous…" Jaejoong spat, slurring a little.

Sonia's smile faded as she saw Jaejoong sitting in one of the chairs in the darkness. The moonlight slashing across his cold face, making him look dangerous. Sonia felt fear rise in her heart as he stood up and made his way towards her, slightly unsteady.

She backed up a step, and another…until she was finally trapped between the wall and Jaejoong. She could smell the alcohol on him…and his hard face sent chills down her spine.

"Tell me…did you enjoy his touch?" Jaejoong hissed as he trailed a finger along Sonia's jaw line, making her flinch.

Confused at what he meant, Sonia managed to ask in a trembling voice, "What are you talking abou…" SLAP!

Sonia's cheek burned from the contact of Jaejoong's hand. She then yelped in pain when he grabbed her hair and pulled her head back.

"DON'T play innocent with me!" Jaejoong barked, "I know you enjoy straddling that Yunho. So tell me…" He said yanking Sonia's hair further.

"Ah!" Sonia cried, tears rolling down her face as she tried to loosen his grip.

"…did you enjoy it? You're coming from his place aren't you? Did he make you quiver like I did?" Jaejoong dangerously whispered, before slapping her again, her sobs not affecting his drunken state.

"Jaejoong…please…." Sonia begged between her sobs.

"SSSHHHHHHH!" He hissed. He then trailed his hand down Sonia's chest and roughly grabbed onto her breast.

"No…stop…please…" Sonia pleaded once again.

"SHUT UP!" Jaejoong yelled before hurling her to the floor. He then crawled on top of her and roughly kissed her.

Sonia struggled with all her might. When Jaejoong moved from her lips to bite her shoulder, she cried out.

"JAEJOONG! STOP!...STOP! STOP!STOP!" Sonia yelled, her heart wrenching sobs reaching no one. Jaejoong's rough hands groped her inappropriately.

"No…please…" Sonia whimpered, starting to lose her strength. So this is how it'll end…she'll be shamed by her own husband…a man she loved…despite his flaws.

Jaejoong ripped the sleeve of Sonia's top, sinking his teeth to the new exposed flesh. His common sense completely clouded with alcohol. He couldn't think straight. All he knew was that he couldn't stand the thought of another man touching her. He wanted to brand her his…why? …he did not know.

He then heard a faint wail…it kept on getting louder…and louder. It then cut through his drunken state like a sharp knife, bringing him back to his senses…Youngjae's wails from the baby monitor.

Jaejoong looked down at an unmoving Sonia, her tear stained face completely emotionless. He scrambled up in a flash, as if she burned him. For a moment there was no sound except for Youngjae's wails.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonia lay exactly how Jaejoong left her, completely still, except for the tears rolling down her face. Youngjae's cries brought her back to reality. She shot up, crossing her arms across her body in defense. She tried to breath between her sobs, choking a few times.

She then made dash for the nursery and picked up a crying Youngjae.

Jaejoong woke up with a massive hangover the next morning. He squinted against the sunlight and pressed two fingers on his forehead to ease the pain. His eyes then shot open…memories from last night flashing back.

"Oh no…what have I done…." Jaejoong murmured to himself, rubbing a hand over his tired face.

"Wow you look like shit." Jaejoong turned to the voice and saw Junsu walking in with lime juice and some Advil.

"Here…it'll help with the hangover." Junsu said handing Jaejoong the juice and pills. He was woken up late last night by a drunk Jaejoong banging on his front door. He doesn't know what happened…and he won't pry. Jaejoong will tell him when he is ready.

Jaejoong stayed silent, lost in his thoughts as he took the pills. He then swung his legs over the bed and covered his face with his hands, feeling like crap. He couldn't get Sonia's pleas out of his mind...

"Oh I wanted to ask you something…Last night I took a drunken Sandara home…and she said some things…" Junsu said, trailing off…

Jaejoong could care less about Sandara, but he still gave Junsu a curious look, waiting for him to continue.

"She was mumbling something about ending Sonia's career…drugging her drink and some other things…" Junsu added.

"What…?" Jaejoong asked, his full attention now on Junsu.

"Yea…apparently she was mumbling something about drugging Sonia's drink…her getting pregnant…and how she hates her and stuff for taking her spotlight as a model." Junsu finished explaining.

Jaejoong sat frozen, Junsu's words slowly sinking in. 'oh my God…It was Sandara who drugged Sonia's drink that night…Sonia had no idea…and this whole time I thought Sonia was behind it…the drink was meant for Sonia…not me…' Jaejoong's heart sank as he processed everything.

"You alright?" Junsu asked a dazed Jaejoong. It was as if he saw a ghost.

"What have I done…?" Jaejoong murmured as he covered his face with his hands again, "What have I done…?"

Junsu placed a hand on Jaejoong's shoulder, a frown adorned his handsome face as he watched his best friend, "What's going on Jaejoong?" he asked, sensing that something was seriously wrong.

Jaejoong gave Junsu a miserable look and told him everything…what happened that fateful night…his relationship with Sonia…..how he acted towards her…what happened last night…everything….

Junsu stared at Jaejoong, completely shocked. Silence filled the room for a few seconds before the sound of fist meeting jaw was heard.

Jaejoong stumbled back because of the force Junsu's punch created. He didn't retaliate. He knew he deserved it.

"You idiot!" Junsu barked furiously.

"I know…I know…I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve her…" Jaejoong murmured, not even trying to stand up.

"No dumbass! You're an idiot because you're still here!" Junsu shouted.

A confused Jaejoong looked up. Junsu took a calming breath before continuing, "Go to her Jaejoong. She needs you more than ever right now. You need to fix this. You need to tell her that you love her."

"Love her?" Jaejoong questioned.

Junsu nodded, "Yes…You can be so dense sometimes Jaejoong. You are madly in love with her…why else do you think you got jealous every time Sonia was with another man? Every time she was with Yunho? Why do you think you are so affected whenever you see her with Youngjae? You fell in love with her despite the conditions that brought you two together. You were just too stubborn to admit it." Junsu concluded.

Jaejoong let Junsu's words sink in. Deep down he knew he fell in love with Sonia, but he was always blinded by the past to acknowledge his feelings. He always came up with reasons to hate her. Not any more…

Jaejoong sprinted to the door, but stopped at the entrance. He turned back to see Junsu standing in the same spot. Jaejoong massaged his jaw before he said, "Damn Junsu…you throw a mean right punch…"

"And you got a face made of rock…" Junsu said flexing his aching right hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaejoong hurried inside his house, praying the whole way for Sonia to find it in herself to forgive him. He wanted to make up for lost time…he wanted to become a good husband and a better father.

Jaejoong frowned when he found the house empty. Panic started to rise as he scurried to the bedroom to find that empty as well. He ran to the closet to only find his clothes. He ran to the nursery to find the same result…empty.