||AR-OS|| With Venom In Our Hearts

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@khahani

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

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desire_20

@desire_20

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

ok i read this twice because i wasnt paying too much attention the first time n i didnt get it....n the second time i concluded that armaan is evil?..nicely written, i loved ur description of the witch's shop, n you should write more stuff

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Hannah

@nondescript

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

RESERVED 😊 OMG YOU WROTE A OS!! Yee Yee Go Nadz!!

Dhanno Madam, so the sadist in you (us anti-Riddhima Modi-ians) has managed to finally make its way to a OShot! Oh yeah baby!! As much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE AR... I dislike the nayi Riddhima in DMG and who knows this better than you, us with our sadistic pleasures in killing off Mrs Modi and bringing back Basket.... I Loved this OShot in the most unusual manner, it was the whole Riddhima fading into a wild sleep with Armaan whilst evily grinning... it held this dream like quality... It held this hauntingly lulling quality which made like it all the more😆 You dared to be different Nadz and you have succeeded.

Why on earth is the writer in you surfacing now? You should have written a OS or an AR FF long time back, next time I want to read some romantic AR mush 😆 Nadz you are actually a great writer, and your descriptions, ahh I just LOVED

I loved this following paragraph

Riddhima started with the dreams. They always started the same, with the warm feeling you would get on a cloudless sunny day. And as soon as the pleasantness set in she would be plunged into icy cold water, and as she would struggle for air the water would fill her mouth and draw out the warmth from her body. And when she felt the life drain from her she felt the pressure of its hand and she would see its face, a contortion of an evil expression, and she could feel its happiness penetrate her like iron maiden.

The contrast was brilliantly penned! LOVED LOVED LOVED it!

Oh and might I add, I LOVED the Title. It was perfect... Armaan really disliked her with heart and soul... actually to some readers it will seem like he doesn't have a soul😆 Who cares Mrs Modi deserved it!

Riddhima delving deeper into this witches labyrinth, each herb concealing a different poison, a different secret awaiting to be revealed once consumed... BRILLIANT..

Ohh and a quick mention to the tattoo, I loved how you used the 'snake' metaphor.... how his tattoo would 'slither' and how Riddhima said 'Snake'

I await some more OShots or if we readers are lucky even a FF

Love You Looooads
Dhanno Behna😃 - I know how much this smiley irritates you, the phoniness hehe Just kidding heres a proper smile😊

Edited by Hannah. - 15 years ago

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...N

@khahani

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

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desire_20

@desire_20

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: khahani

Hey Ayesha

The main thing was to kill one of the protagonists, Armaan just happened to be the one to do it, if that makes him evil so be it😛. I happen to be pro Armaan just anti Riddhima😆 I tried writing something a little different from the usual romance. As for writing something in the future this is just a fluke, but i'll try.

Thanks for your lovely comment :)

Nahida x

well if this was armaan taking revenge from mrs. modi for the pain she has given him, then im pro-armaan too....but if its armaan killing off his basket, then i'd have to be anti-armaan...n i want to read more stuff from you, i see a very talented writer in this descriptive oneshot...and i just caught the snake and tattoo resemblance after reading hannah's comment, n i have to say that that was definitely a good addition

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I have no name.

@HotMess

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

I usually write in small font, but you deserve BIG.

OMFG.
I LOVED THIS OS.
So DIFFERENT from all the romantic FFs.
Sure it took me a while to understand (It's late, I'm sleepy & I'm normally slow).

But DUUDE that was so sick!
"poison" "slither" "snake"
I loved how all the little "clues" fitted into to give sense to the ending!
Wow, this was such a clever OS! I loved it!

*SPOILER IF YOU HAVENT READ*
Armaan being evil, Riddhima dying, omfg. :|
The witch doctor's predictions, and everything fitting in.
I LOVED IT NAHUUU. <3

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@awarapan.

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

So, being completely honest, I was dazzled for a few seconds.

First of all, your writing manner is pure brilliance. Your words, and vocabulary is vast; it was intriguing to read your whole plot. I was honestly confused as to what happened - I had to re-read it, and get a confirmation from Adu to know what happened. Knowing what's occurred, and knowing the subtle hints you gave; the whole plot was so intertwined with such a vast vocabulary, I was flabbergasted.

I adore the perspective you wrote this OS from. This whole OS was so different; It's a much different concept than the usual ones I've come across, and have written myself, but you made this so intriguing, and so brilliant, I couldn't stop reading. I came to the end, and was like, "Wait, what? It's done? How!" and I went back to re-read it, and fully understand the depth of the OS.

With no dialogues at all, and only detail, I must say - you pulled it off REALLY well!

The whole concept of murder was taken to such a point where you think, what just happened? With your vocabulary, and sense of imagination - the whole plot and scenario was so different, it came across as something completely NEW. The whole thing was just "WOW" I honestly don't know HOW to describe what I'm feeling after reading this. Seriously, not even kidding. It was so... so... intriguing! The overall impression I have, is it was pure brilliance! everything overall was written with such intensity, it gave off a very amazing impact.

Nonetheless, I must say - the whole OS, overall was portrayed with such elegance, it was shocking to know there was a hidden writer! You write beautifully, Nahida! <333

I'm truly wanting MUCH more from you. Truly written like a professional writer! I want more, MUCH more! Promise? YAY!

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nandini

@Riddikulus

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

*Reserved*

Naaaaaadz...!! 🤗

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Pebblez

@Pebblez

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

So DMG finally bringing out your anti-Riddhima angst in you, Nahida? :D and what a superb way of letting us all know why it is there! This is such a different OS, lacking the mush love scenes, dialogues and everything...its just there and trust me, it leaves a mark for the plot it holds...perspective was amazing...writing style was great! And I loved how you slowly hinted towards Armaan being the one killing her through the flower drowning, snake appearing process...It was so clear, the last scene, I could almost see Armaan's side Cheshire smile as you call it...ooooh! I love your OS, have you written more that I haven't come across? Please do let me know!!

Thanks a ton for the PM too :) Great work!

Kiran

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hope4u

@hope4u

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

reserved!
will get back to read and comment once i can shake off my sunday night blues! :D

P.S. very interesting title! makes me want to give it a quick read and then go to bed! :)

ok im back.. 😆
its intriguing nahida! first the title draws the person in and then the plot itself. i had to go back to read it twice and each read made the plot clearer. hats off to u girl!

i do have a couple of questions though. was armaan slowly poisoning her through the daily dose of caffeine which is what brought on the nightmares? or was it a one time killing? im inclined to believe its the first case but still, it left me a little confused

and i love the anti-riddhima in u. would love to kill riddhima myself( although the character riddhima has long been killed, rather mercilessly) and the fact that armaan does it is the icing on the cake

please do keep writing! such works make visiting IF a pleasure

Edited by hope4u - 15 years ago