Society in our Lives/Society or ourslves?

Hi!

Watching TV made me think of the role society plays on our lives. Why do we have to live our life in a certain way? Why does society decide what we do with out lives? Do you think that we break free from these limitations set by society? Why do we look down upon it when the fingers are pointing at us but go alog with it when it is pointing at sum1 else? in short--What is the role of society in our life?

Examples from TV:

-Ek Lardki Anjani Si: Anu was the star of her college and everyone's role model. The professors and principal loved her...now they want her expelled. Everyone in her neighborhood wanted their kids to b like her..now they want anu;s family to move out---all this bcuz she is an unwed mother and that too by accident and she is innocent.

-Sath Phere: I dont watch it but i noe wat it abt...Who has the right to make Saloni feel inferior just because of her skin color? arent we all beautiful in our own way? who decided that a person's beauty is based on how light their complexion is?

-Jassi Jaise Koi Nahi: I know that this was the old track and she got a makeover a long time ago but still...Who has right to decide that wearing glasses and braces makes a person ugly? why wasnt a persons inner self given any notice? why are we judged based on what we look like?

other common problems in 2 many probz 2 point out 1

-social status difference btwn grl and guy so they have probs getting 2gether

-the guy cheats on his wife and itz ok but the grl dusnt ask 4 her husband's permission or she hides sumthng frm him and she is bad

-the bahu has 2 look after the in-laws but the sons and daughters of the parents have no responsibilities 2 them

etc etc...i can continue 4eva but i wont...

so waddya thaink? y do dus society set certain standards 4 us? y do ppl have 2 lead their life so tht it is acceptable in society and those who refuse to...y r they looked down upon?

wow this is such a loaded debate...so much 2 think abt....i hope it dusnt discourage u all frm particip8ing.....itz jus sumthing ive been pondering 4 a while....

will post my views l8er

Mod's note: merging post

Originally posted by: cool_pooja

Before taking a big decision we think about all things. For example u want to get married to someone of a different religion u love and ur family has accepted.. But before making this decision would u think abt the reactions of the soceity towards ur family? Or even if ur plainly sitting wid ur frnd in a club and some distant cousin of urs sees u and spreads romour.. How will dis influence ur life? Will it hold any importance in ur life?

How big is society's thinking and influence imp in ur life?

Sorry if it has been posted bef, modz can close dis den..😳

Good Jav and very loaded !! 😉
Ya some how the Society thinks its there business to comment on people's personal life , but if one needs society support if suppose their is a personal crisis , like problem with money will this Society help ??? No way !!!

Also its people who let Society interfere and people who live by the Societies rules !! If we as an individual told people to go to hell and keep out of our life !! You know what people will !! They may gossip ........but if you keep to your self and now let gossip mongers bother you ,then why should it matter ?

yayy

aparna di i luv 2 4 bringing baq da thread..i thot it died and i was 😭

hehe yea i think itz 2 loaded so datz y every1 avoided it 😉 😆

society has become a lot more than it sould be. yea ppl need one and another's advice and assistance and humans r social animals but still....society has no rite 2 decide wat v do and i think 2 an xtent v can control tht...we shud do wat v want regardless of wat society will think of it and oderz will follow..if every1 is 2 scared 2 ake the 1st step every1 sufferz

Jav this is nice topic. There is so much to say and ultimately it boil down to individual personality. Yes, lot of us I would say most of us live by society rules and try not to go beyond that. Once in a while we do see reballion who want to live with their own rules and sometime these people are outcasted, looked down upon, gossiped about or sometime people just don't care and accept them depending upon the rule they break. I would say we don't necessarily have to accept all the "culture" society has created. WE can take only what we like, and ignore what we don't, but to create a whole new law is something not that easy. To some extend it it is good to have some rules and regulations in society. Its soemwhat similar to rules we have in our home and in country. When there is formation of group of people its nice to have rules, but then to go beyond that and when that group tries to dominate with stupid reason is not good. I think its just the boundry we should know and follow our culture.

I have not seen other show, but know about Jassi. About girl looking ugly with big glasses and braces i think its more of our eyes fault. To be frank, when we see someone we do judge them by their outer look. Let's say you are seeing groom for an arrange marriage...you go you see a guy who is fat and have beer belly you would have reaction to it. Then you see a handsome dude tall, passionate eyes you will be all ga ga over him. Eventhough you don't know eithr one you will have a biased openion about one. I think its natural. My parents never tought me to distinguish between good and bad, but when you see something you yourself are responsible to judge them...society is "only" responsible to pass comments on that person but if you decide to marry that fat guy, society has no say.

Three examples you gave one for diff. rules for girls and boys, second wife cheating as big sin, and daughter in law expectation compared to son an daughter. Yes, there are diff. set of rules for girls and boys in our society and which is very sad. Its totally unfair to let your son not help you with household chores and expect your daughter to help you do dishes 😡 and many more. About wife cheating is not ok and husband asking questions is ok is changing in lot of indian familes. Husbands are expected to answer to their wives and wife to reply back rather than cosidering thim as "pati parmeshvar"....this had lot to do with women earning and getting independant and not afraid to get divorce and leave husband...so they have started to have fair share in marriage. About Daughter-in-law expected to do things for family, yes, that is true as well. There are lot of expectation from all family members including a husband the way they take care of family. Which i thing will change with each generation. in-laws in today's generation are liberal then their in-laws and so on.. we might be not expect same from our DIL as our in-laws. It still is unfair at this point but guess its changing slowly.

Hi,everyone.

All I can say is that this world is a male dominated one, esp. we can see in our south-asian community. All the rules of the society are set by them,mostly in favour of them. I guess with our generation growing older will witness certain changes. Time is changing and hope things will change for better.

In western countries they damn care about anything, no one intervenes into others matters. We have learnt a lot from West, hope oneday we will follow this path too. This does not mean that I am trying to say that our culture has nothing good to offer. But we wish to live amidst best of all(both east and west).

I feel the main obstacles for the society being so stagnant are lack of education and religious fanaticism. The moment we will overcome these, we would see a new dawn in our society.

Originally posted by: Pradarshak

Hi,everyone.

All I can say is that this world is a male dominated one, esp. we can see in our south-asian community. All the rules of the society are set by them,mostly in favour of them. I guess with our generation growing older will witness certain changes. Time is changing and hope things will change for better.

In western countries they damn care about anything, no one intervenes into others matters. We have learnt a lot from West, hope oneday we will follow this path too. This does not mean that I am trying to say that our culture has nothing good to offer. But we wish to live amidst best of all(both east and west).

I feel the main obstacles for the society being so stagnant are lack of education and religious fanaticism. The moment we will overcome these, we would see a new dawn in our society.

I totally agree with you Pradarshak!

Welcome to the Debate Mansion..nice to see you here! 😛

😊 Thanks Sowmyaa.

I believe everyone has to play a role in this society.So, this does not spare the women. If they can bring about changes in their individual houses by influencing the husbands and other close ones, educating their children in the right path, they can help to bring changes in the society and their own fate too. It's good to see some bold female characters in the Tele-serials.

We human beings are social creatures and we need a society to survive. So, why not make it better and worth-living in it for all from every corner.

Merged posts

Originally posted by: cool_pooja

for me personally, if i have the acceptance of my family the society can go to hell because they know nothing better than to talk smack about people anyways whether it's a love/arranged marriage or whether its same/different religion or the way you dress, who you hang out with, what work you do, how much education you have etc. etc. etc.

Society isnt just a third party out there...it consists of you and me. Your own thoughts form just as much part of society as does someone elses. For all you know, your own strong convictions might just redefine what "society" believes in. For me, personally, it is extremely important for me to believe in the things I do and accept them as my own actions and decisions, free from other people's coercions...because if they're my own, then I can accept responsibility for them...if they are formed out of other's people's opinions then it's easy for me to point fingers and play the blame game. For the largest part, and I mean this, I have always followed my own gut convictions regarding what I think is the right thing or the wrong thing to do. If my gut conviction is strong enough, I'll go ahead with it even if my family or "society" is against it. If I'm confused, then I'll often ask my family or friends for their opinions, and their opinions might influence how I think, but ultimately my actions are formed out of what I personally believe in and not how society dictates I ought to behave.

Oh, we don't have to follow anything, we choose to. Everyone wants to be accepted and unfortunately sometimes wanting to be accepted means giving up ones morals. One knows it's wrong, one knows they shouldn't be doing it simply because others are but they still choose to go with the crowd. Why? To fit in and then there's the reason that ~globetrotter~ brought up. It's easier to blame others than to take responsibility for what we've done if all we do is parrot.

On the other hand from birth, society has interfered and reared us and what society believes has had every influence in the way we behave and the decisions we make. There's no such thing as not being influenced by society because we all have been. Even though we like to think that we are making our own decisions, ultimately those thoughts, those feelings and those instincts that lead us to those decisions are a result of what society has taught us (whether it's good or bad). One can't run away from society because it's claws have very well sunk in even before one took their first breath.

So there's the question; How do we know what's right and what's wrong if society has reared us? How do we question society for acting the way it does when we, ourselves, believe in and follow what society has thought us?