The non-veg fracas, and Komal pays...

Subject:- ''The non-veg fracas, and Komal paying for her brother's love.''

I think the Komal and Sajjan Singh reaction vis-a-vis the non-veg was long overdue. The girl has already endured for quite a while now.

If Pratigya's family were vegetarian by caste, Komal falling in line with their dietary habits and being miserable in the process would be understandable. Not acceptable, but understandable.

But the family is non-vegetarian by caste! They are just vegetarian as a matter of personal choice. Then why the heck are they shoving their choice down Komal's throat?

The girl ended up married because Adarsh thought he could get someone to bully and use as leverage to protect his sister in her sasuraal.

Then, Shyam Saxena - the impractical dimwit - decided they wouldn't have any celebrations for their only son's wedding. Komal walked into her sasuraal with a clear view of just how happy the family that had insisted on getting her as their bahu were to have her. She kept quiet.

She had a minor tantrum with the plate-tossing when she saw the food. But after her saas (Nainaji is a gem. Not a one of her family deserves her.) covered up for her, the girl simmered down again.

Her husband never even approached her on their wedding night, let alone consummate. And just think what that meant to a girl who's grown up in a family where even a husband who despises his wife won't forbear her in the conjugal bed. The man who insisted on wedding her, with her wellbeing to hinge on his sister's wellbeing, left her untouched on their wedding night!

But she still kept quiet.

The next day, the family didn't bother with even one post-wedding ritual. The grandmother wanted to sleep. Aarushi wanted to study. Imagine being the new bride in that situation. I'd say Komal held onto her temper a heck of a lot longer than one should have expected.

Then came the honeymoon, and Komal went out of her way to draw closer to her husband. Heck, she even tried to seduce him. She returned from the honeymoon still untouched.

A sasuraal where her husband insisted on marrying her but doesn't want her and is now revealed to have had feelings for another girl, and gets together with his sister and that other girl to snigger at his wife's uncouthness.

Where her grandmother-in-law and her husband's younger sister keep taunting her while praising themselves for their education and good manners.

If the sasuraal were just comprised of the doting saas Nainaji, the restrained sasur Shyam Saxena and an Adarsh unsupported by Aarushi and his grandma, Komal would have been far less provoking. And this non-veg matter might have come up much later. In fact, if Adarsh were to give her the conjugal rights that are rightfully hers, the non-veg matter as well as Komal's general abrasiveness would probably be a thing of the past.

But on the non-veg matter, the Saxenas' suggestion was nothing but an eyewash. Adarsh should take Komal out for a non-veg meal? With his parents haranguing him, he'll probably play the long-suffering husband and take her out once a month if she's lucky. Besides, can they even afford that? Suggesting she should restrict her non-veg eating to when her husband is available and willing to take her out for a meal to her tastes is a pretty good move to enforcing vegetarian rules on her.

And Krishna... The boy is greatly accommodating at his sister's expense, every single damn time! For him to get the girl he loved, his sister was married off into a poor family where she doesn't get thrashed but she does get mocked, and where even a simple thing like after-meal etiquette is so different that she's derided for being a boor. She's also probably the only daughter or daughter-in-law in their family-circle whom the husband apparently finds conjugal relations abhorrent with. Not even Kesar has been so undesirable to her husband that he will just not touch her.

And now, the doting brother Krishna makes yet another sacrifice at his sister's expense. Without even knowing the impractical useless suggestion the Saxenas made about Adarsh taking Komal out for non-veg meals, Krishna suggested the exact same thing!

As for Pratigya's grandmother, if she, Aarushi, Guniya, Shakti and Angad were welded into one family, we'd be able to find the most unpleasant characters in the series in one little group. Thank God for Sajjan Singh who gave her the response she deserved.

When the family's vegetarian ethos isn't rooted in caste and religion, she had no grounds for telling her son to go and get holy water to purify the house with just because some non-veg was brought in. If the family were vegetarian by caste, yes. It's orthodox and strict, but completely understandable.

But this family is, by caste and religion, *expected* to be non-vegetarian. They *chose* to be vegetarian, and that choice should be respected. But Komal *doesn't* choose to be vegetarian. She didn't choose Adarsh as her husband either. Just because she had that choice taken from her, she should now make their personal dietary choice *hers* as well?

Komal's marriage was to benefit her brother Krishna personally and her father politically. While the brother has proven a marked ingrate about what his love-marriage has cost her, it was nice to see that at least Sajjan Singh wasn't going to follow suit and tell his daughter to suffer her in-laws' personal choice as if it were the religious requirement they pretend it is. Krishna exerted himself more in defense of his wife's sister than he does for his own sister.

leelaa9.

I completely agree with what you have said.

Interesting topic. I agree with some of the points. Komal has been sacrificed for her father's political ambitions and her brother's love, yes.

But Krishna also saw the long-term advantages of Komal marrying a man who would not beat her all the time, as is seen to be the expected behaviour in his house. He wants his sister to be treated well, because he sees how Nainaji is treated by her Shyamji and how much freedom Pratigya and Arushi get from him. Krishna is very intelligent and quickly picked up on the fact that (most) educated people do not beat their wives. As far as he was concerned, that is all he cared for, for his little sister.

It is not Krishna's fault that Adarsh too decided to make Komal a pawn to secure Pratigya's safety. Adarsh is also thinking of his sister, but not about his wife, unlike Krishna who is thinking about both his wife and sister. Adarsh has to answer for Komal's state. Pratigya keeps telling him to treat her well, but Komal's foul language and tantrum throwing doesn't help in attracting a generally soft-spoken person like Adarsh. Plus, Adarsh was not in love with Komal to start with, unlike Krishna. It will take time for him and Komal to understand and like each other.

Komal's plight in the Saxena household is also because of her behaviour. It's not like she didn't know how a woman should behave after marriage (am not saying that it is right, but just that she knew how Bahus behaved). But Komal believes that her mom and bhabhi suffer because they don't have a powerful man like Sajjan Singh as their father-figure. Komal wants to make full use of being the daughter of a powerful man. Well, that will only go so far... Adarsh is not going to fall in love with her because her father is powerful! She will understand it some day.

About meat-eating in a vegetarian household, I don't how vegetarianism being caste-based is more acceptable than vegetarianism as a personal choice. To me, the personal choice one makes more sense.

The issue between vegetarians and meat eaters is this- while a meat-eating person can adjust better in a non-meat eating place, the reverse is harder. Those who do not eat meat find the smell and appearance difficult. A meat eater would not find the smell/look of vegetables hard to take! Yes, it could get boring for them, to eat veggie food all the time. For which, Krishna and Shyam ji did come up with a solution.

We should have been shown scenes of Pratigya finding it hard to work in the Thakur kitchen while meat is being cooked, but still keeping quiet because she realises that this is the way this house works, and if she has objections, the only thing she can do is walk out. Which she cannot do because Krishna won't accept that (or he may, you never know with Krishna:))

Dadi's question to SS was correct- the point is not whether Komal is being forced to become vegetarian or whether Pratigya is being forced to eat meat. The point here is, does Komal have a right to insist that meat should be cooked in the Saxena household? And if so, will Pratigya get the right to say meat should not be cooked in the Thakur household. That is all the issue is, and SS didn't have an answer and silenced Dadi with his gun power, and threat to split the Saxena house. Well, someday he will realise that gun power can get his daughter her favorite meat dish, but not husband's love!

I dont know much about the komals sasurals culture cuz I only started watching this recently.. but they did kinda blow it out of proportion about bringing meat into the house..

Well, it's more about the Saxena family's middle class status and their personal choice to be vegetarian. I do not know much about their caste Kayasth, but some Kayasths are vegetarian and some are not, I think. Pls correct me if I am wrong.

Most Hindus do not eat beef or pork, or at least will not openly admit to eating them because it is prohibited by their castes. But some people do eat. Most Hindus eat meat like chicken and mutton, but a small minority of Hindus are vegetarian and do not eat any meat.

Originally posted by: tvrasika

Well, it's more about the Saxena family's middle class status and their personal choice to be vegetarian. I do not know much about their caste Kayasth, but some Kayasths are vegetarian and some are not, I think. Pls correct me if I am wrong.

Most Hindus do not eat beef or pork, or at least will not openly admit to eating them because it is prohibited by their castes. But some people do eat. Most Hindus eat meat like chicken and mutton, but a small minority of Hindus are vegetarian and do not eat any meat.

@ Azreen
No problem... Food issues are complicated everywhere, and more so in India, LOL...

There is also another issue here, which I think they are trying to show in Pratigya. It is one thing to eat meat in a restaurant or at a friend's house or wedding. But it is another issue to actually bring meat into the house and cook it! The Saxena family seem to understand that Komal has been brought up to eat non-veg and she should have some. What they are not keen on is that fish and meat be cooked inside their house. Those who believe that fish and meat are polluting (ashudh) would feel their whole house has been polluted because of cooking inside the house. Some people feel that way about onion and garlic too... they will eat outside but not cook them in the house. It's not about whether this makes sense, or is it right or wrong. It's just about respecting each other's beliefs and adjusting....

Komal knows this, that is why she's creating problems for Saxenas. Her plan is to make them call Adarsh and ask him to take her away...

Originally posted by: leelaa9

Subject:- ''The non-veg fracas, and Komal paying for her brother's love.''

Her husband never even approached her on their wedding night, let alone consummate. And just think what that meant to a girl who's grown up in a family where even a husband who despises his wife won't forbear her in the conjugal bed. The man who insisted on wedding her, with her wellbeing to hinge on his sister's wellbeing, left her untouched on their wedding night!

Then came the honeymoon, and Komal went out of her way to draw closer to her husband. Heck, she even tried to seduce him. She returned from the honeymoon still untouched.

In fact, if Adarsh were to give her the conjugal rights that are rightfully hers, the non-veg matter as well as Komal's general abrasiveness would probably be a thing of the past.

She's also probably the only daughter or daughter-in-law in their family-circle whom the husband apparently finds conjugal relations abhorrent with. Not even Kesar has been so undesirable to her husband that he will just not touch her. leelaa9.

Hi,
I have cut and paste some parts of your post which talk about conjugal relations and Adarsh neglecting Komal. Here, I have a different view. I actually think it's better for a couple to have conjugal relations after marriage, because they like each other, and not because that is expected of them! Otherwise, it would be like Shakti-Kesar situation. Shakti thinks it is his right to have relations with Kesar. Kesar thinks it is her duty to agree to it... but it is quite clear that such an approach is a recipe for disaster! Just because Shakti has relations with Kesar does not make her 'desirable' for him! Not at all... on the contrary, he thinks she is his possession, his right... in his eyes, she doesn't exist as a live human being with feelings.

Komal has been brought up to believe the same- that a couple ought to consummate their marriage on their first night together, whether or not they like or understand each other. But Adarsh I don't think has been brought up that way. In fact, it would have been wrong if he had relations with Komal, while at the same time laughing at her behaviour. Adarsh would approach her when he really begins to like her.

I am not supporting the way Adarsh is treating Komal. I feel sorry for that girl. She has been thoroughly spoilt by her family and is having a hard time adjusting to the Saxena family. I also don't like how Dadi 1 and Arushi snub her. But I don't think Adarsh having conjugal relations with her, before understanding and liking her, would be the solution. Adarsh and Komal are poles apart... they need to find some middle ground. That will take time...

Originally posted by: leelaa9

Subject:- ''The non-veg fracas, and Komal paying for her brother's love.''

I think the Komal and Sajjan Singh reaction vis-a-vis the non-veg was long overdue. The girl has already endured for quite a while now.

If Pratigya's family were vegetarian by caste, Komal falling in line with their dietary habits and being miserable in the process would be understandable. Not acceptable, but understandable.

But the family is non-vegetarian by caste! They are just vegetarian as a matter of personal choice. Then why the heck are they shoving their choice down Komal's throat?

The girl ended up married because Adarsh thought he could get someone to bully and use as leverage to protect his sister in her sasuraal.

Then, Shyam Saxena - the impractical dimwit - decided they wouldn't have any celebrations for their only son's wedding. Komal walked into her sasuraal with a clear view of just how happy the family that had insisted on getting her as their bahu were to have her. She kept quiet.

She had a minor tantrum with the plate-tossing when she saw the food. But after her saas (Nainaji is a gem. Not a one of her family deserves her.) covered up for her, the girl simmered down again.

Her husband never even approached her on their wedding night, let alone consummate. And just think what that meant to a girl who's grown up in a family where even a husband who despises his wife won't forbear her in the conjugal bed. The man who insisted on wedding her, with her wellbeing to hinge on his sister's wellbeing, left her untouched on their wedding night!

But she still kept quiet.

The next day, the family didn't bother with even one post-wedding ritual. The grandmother wanted to sleep. Aarushi wanted to study. Imagine being the new bride in that situation. I'd say Komal held onto her temper a heck of a lot longer than one should have expected.

Then came the honeymoon, and Komal went out of her way to draw closer to her husband. Heck, she even tried to seduce him. She returned from the honeymoon still untouched.

A sasuraal where her husband insisted on marrying her but doesn't want her and is now revealed to have had feelings for another girl, and gets together with his sister and that other girl to snigger at his wife's uncouthness.

Where her grandmother-in-law and her husband's younger sister keep taunting her while praising themselves for their education and good manners.

If the sasuraal were just comprised of the doting saas Nainaji, the restrained sasur Shyam Saxena and an Adarsh unsupported by Aarushi and his grandma, Komal would have been far less provoking. And this non-veg matter might have come up much later. In fact, if Adarsh were to give her the conjugal rights that are rightfully hers, the non-veg matter as well as Komal's general abrasiveness would probably be a thing of the past.

But on the non-veg matter, the Saxenas' suggestion was nothing but an eyewash. Adarsh should take Komal out for a non-veg meal? With his parents haranguing him, he'll probably play the long-suffering husband and take her out once a month if she's lucky. Besides, can they even afford that? Suggesting she should restrict her non-veg eating to when her husband is available and willing to take her out for a meal to her tastes is a pretty good move to enforcing vegetarian rules on her.

And Krishna... The boy is greatly accommodating at his sister's expense, every single damn time! For him to get the girl he loved, his sister was married off into a poor family where she doesn't get thrashed but she does get mocked, and where even a simple thing like after-meal etiquette is so different that she's derided for being a boor. She's also probably the only daughter or daughter-in-law in their family-circle whom the husband apparently finds conjugal relations abhorrent with. Not even Kesar has been so undesirable to her husband that he will just not touch her.

And now, the doting brother Krishna makes yet another sacrifice at his sister's expense. Without even knowing the impractical useless suggestion the Saxenas made about Adarsh taking Komal out for non-veg meals, Krishna suggested the exact same thing!

As for Pratigya's grandmother, if she, Aarushi, Guniya, Shakti and Angad were welded into one family, we'd be able to find the most unpleasant characters in the series in one little group. Thank God for Sajjan Singh who gave her the response she deserved.

When the family's vegetarian ethos isn't rooted in caste and religion, she had no grounds for telling her son to go and get holy water to purify the house with just because some non-veg was brought in. If the family were vegetarian by caste, yes. It's orthodox and strict, but completely understandable.

But this family is, by caste and religion, *expected* to be non-vegetarian. They *chose* to be vegetarian, and that choice should be respected. But Komal *doesn't* choose to be vegetarian. She didn't choose Adarsh as her husband either. Just because she had that choice taken from her, she should now make their personal dietary choice *hers* as well?

Komal's marriage was to benefit her brother Krishna personally and her father politically. While the brother has proven a marked ingrate about what his love-marriage has cost her, it was nice to see that at least Sajjan Singh wasn't going to follow suit and tell his daughter to suffer her in-laws' personal choice as if it were the religious requirement they pretend it is. Krishna exerted himself more in defense of his wife's sister than he does for his own sister.

leelaa9.

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