Edited: Part in Bold was added in. My copy paste function hates me.
Note:
This is an OS, on Sid-Riddhima-Armaan. It has to do with the events of
last week. [April 10 2010]I hate have to say this but, Please No Bashing. Constructive
criticism is always wanted and greatly appreciated. If you are not a fan
of the OS, then you can state why you didn't like it, but please no
derogatory comments. I would not like my OS to turn into a war zone, so
if you see any inappropriate/bashing comments please DO NOT respond,
just report. Please Enjoy and Comment. And for any mistakes in my hindi
grammer/typos. Sorry!
She
was sitting there, on the floor, of the canteen, in Sanjeevani. She
looked
beautiful, but her eyes were glimmering with tears. She didn't know who
she
wanted, she knew that. But she knew that she was married. She knew that
she
didn't know Armaan anymore. She didn't know him anymore. She looked into
his
eyes and she saw affection. But she didn't see understanding. Siddhant
was
sitting there, just sitting but his eyes were hurting. Why was she doing
this
why didn't she stop it? Why did he ask her to do this? Why?
Armaan held her hand, kept looking over at her, repeating what Sid's mom
said,
She wouldn't look at Armaan. She wouldn't look at Sid. Then Armaan put
the
Mangalsutra up. And her mind flashed back. Her wedding. Sid saying that
he'll
marry her. Sid saving her from the poison. Sid marrying her after.
Burning
Pictures. Armaan leaving. Armaan being shot. Sid screaming from the
cockroaches. Sid handing her Armaan's picture. Armaan staying with her
at the
Bomb. Armaan saying I love you. Sid telling her that he'll always be in
front
of her eyes. Sid telling her that she looks good laughing. Armaan's
letter.
Armaan leaving her to die. Sid telling her that he'll never force her.
Armaan.
Sid Armaan. Sid. Armaan.
"Sid" she said.
Everyone looked at her.
Armaan looked at her.
Sid looked at her. She said "Sid."
She stood up.
Sid stood up with her. His eyes questioning. Armaan stood up too, his eyes confused. She walked forward. She only needed to see Sid. She only needed to talk to him. He was the only one that mattered now. She tried to stop her tears, but she could see the control slipping away. "Tum'"she started.
"Riddhima'" his voice was breaking, his eyes were crying. Her heart pulled together and her stomach lurched, she hated to see him like that. She took another step, and then he took one, she took another step. They were so close that she could feel the up and down of his chest, and his breath soft on her face. She whispered "Main nahin karsakti'". His eyes softened and he said. "Mujhe pata hai ki'"
"Nahin" she cut him off. "Tumhe kuch bhi nahin pata.". She couldn't hold it in. The tears came out, they were quiet. But they came.
Sid:
She stood up and he did too. He couldn't help it, her eyes, they made his heart ache. She said his name. HIS name. He didn't have eyes for anyone else. She walked to him. One step, he didn't move. Another step. He took one. She took another one. She was close. He could feel the heat coming off her body and see the tears glistening in her eyes. . She whispered "Main nahin karsakti'". His chest contracted, it was hard for her, he knew that. She was principled, morale and even if she loved Armaan more than anything in the world, she would not feel right doing this. It didn't have anything to do with him. He needed to remind himself of that. He spoke " Mujhe pata hai ki'" She cut him off. "Nahin, tumhe kuch bhi nahin pata." And then she started crying. He felt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart, but instead of crying, he put his hands up to her face and wiped her tears. One by one. As soon as his hands touched her face, her eyes closed. She seemed to be in peace. Just for a moment.
Random Narrator Dude:
Everyone was looking at Sid and Riddhima, Armaans eyes were shifting from confused, to narrow to confused again. What the hell is going on. That was the only thought in Armaans mind. Sid? Riddhima? Riddhima loves me, not Sid, me. She has always, always, only loved me. She would never even go near someone else. Sid's mom was looking at Armaan and then Riddhima and Sid and then back again. She was confused. But Sid and Riddhima had eyes for no one else.
Riddhima:
He touched her face, and warmth and comfort rushed through her. He stayed there for a few minutes wiping her tears. And then, slowly she opened her eyes.
His eyes were glistening with tears, still. She whispered " main nahin karsakti. Tumahre hote hue nahin kar sakti." His eyes widened, and creases formed above his forehead. She raised her hand and smoothed them out. The tears fell down his face, as if they had been wanting to fall for months. His body, softened at her touch, the resolve, the wall he had put up, god knows why, was falling. She could see him, she could see him again.
Sid:
At the touch of her hands, his heart that had just been ripped apart mended, and he closed his eyes. Now for a fraction of a second he felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe Riddhima, maybe she wanted him. Maybe she was making the choice and choosing him. Maybe. Her hand moved down his face and caressed his check. "Siddhant...'" she slowly and hesitatingly said. He opened his eyes, he lowered his head down onto hers, they were barely touching. This was new, he wanted to go closer, he couldn't stop himself, but somehow he did. He hands moved down to his neck. Then to his shoulder, then behind. Gripping tightly. Her breathing sped up, he put his hands on her face. "Riddhima'."
Riddhima:
She leaned her head against his face, she started sobbing, but this time out of happiness. She finally knew what she wanted. She wanted Sid, she wanted him more than anything in the world. Armaan was her'Armaan. Oh my god. She pulled back, and looked around. She forgot everyone was there too. She forgot she was taking vows with Armaan. Sid's eyes widened. He had forgotten too. They separated. Riddhima turned around. Armaan was there. His eyes wide and the mangalsutra dangling from one hand. He looked crushed. She felt so bad, Armaan. He was her past, her amazing wonderful past. But she had changed so much in these three months. She had not even realized. Armaan couldn't read her mind anymore. Armaan's touch didn't make her crazy. She went crazy for Armaan, she went mad for him. He left her, maybe for a good reason, but he still left. She was trying to rationalize, trying to figure out why, but the reason didn't matter, she didn't love Armaan. She didn't love him anymore. But she still cared about him, and his heart, it was breaking right now. Just as Sid and her hearts were mending, Armaan's was breaking.Sid:
Riddhima
pulled back suddenly, her eyes became wide. Oh
no, Sid realized. Everyone was still there. Armaan was watching, he look
confused and so so sad. Mom, oh crap. She was standing there, shocked.
She
still didn't know they were married. Neither did Armaan. Riddhima had
turned,
he moved from behind her to her side. She was looking at Armaan, but she
took
his hand. He looked over to her, slightly shocked, but at the same time
reassured. He didn't know what she was going to do but determined that
she be
the one to do it. Armaan was her past, she should be the only one to
tell him.
What she told him, that would be more interesting. That would tell him
why she
was staying with him. Stop being so
cynical Sid, She wants you. Said that optimistic side of his brain.
The
other side though, the other side wondered if she was only staying with
him
because she was married to him. He couldn't ,even with what just
happened. He
couldn't let himself believe that Riddhima loved him, not until she said
it.
New Part:
"Armaan...Tum...Main'aur Sid...." Riddhima tried to say, but no coherent sentences were coming in.
Armaan's voice broke "Maine tumse kitna pyar kiya Riddhima aur tum mere peet peeche kisi aur ke saath." He turned to Sid, with a slightly harder voice, started walking toward Sid. "Aur Tum." He pointed to Sid. "Tumne kya natak kiya, "main tumhe Riddhima se milanonga." Yeh voh...Aur Sab. SAB KUCH JHOOT THA. Tum Dono ne mere saath kya khel khela hai?! Tum dono ko sharam nahin aaiti!" His voice was breaking, he threw his hands up.
Riddhima's eyes were filling with tears again. Sid's heart was tightening, Armaan did not even know that they were married yet. That the whole hospital knew that they were married.
Riddhima:
Armaan was breaking down, he was crying, looking like a lost man. But at the same time a man who had been betrayed.
"Tum dono ko sharam nahin aati! Aur Sid...Tum tumne to Riddhima ko bheja Puna. Tumne kuch kaha nahin'" She tuned out. What? Sid send Armaan to Puna? Sid said to her that she could make the decision, but Sid was willing to sacrifice her, just to see her happy? She turned her head toward Sid, Armaan was still talking, but she wasn't listening anymore. Armaan noticed, and stopped talking and looked toward her. She could see him from the corner of her eye. Sid, aware of this, looked over to her too. "tumne?" she whispered. Sid nodded. Armaan's eyes grew wider.
"KOI TO MERA BAATH SUNEGA? Kyun kiya tum logo ne aisa? KYUN?!!"
Riddhima tore her eyes away from Sid and began "Armaan, meri aur Sid ki....Meri aur Sid ki shaadi ho chuki hai."
Armaan dropped the mangalsutra. And everyone stopped
moving.
Shaadhi ho chuki hai. The mangalsutra broke into
hundreds of
little pieces. That sound rang in everyone's ears. Riddhima's eyes were
filled
with guilt and regret. She shouldn't have hidden it from Armaan, she was
so so
wrong to. She knew that. She didn't know why she did that. But she did.
Armaan would
hate her forever.
Sid:
She said it. She told him. Armaan's face froze, he was horrified, terrified and his life was being ripped apart. Sid couldn't look at him. On one hand, he knew that Riddhima had to be the one to tell him. On the other, he felt so guilty for not telling Armaan.
Random Narrator Dude:
EMERGENCY. ALL DOCTORS TO OR 1.
Everyone broke out of their trance, and all the interns and doctors ran to the OR. All of them except Sid, Riddhima and Armaan.
Armaan sank down to his knees and cried. Sid and Riddhima stood there, not knowing what to do. Not understanding how they had come to this juncture in life. Then Riddhima started walking to Armaan. She kneeled down beside him and started softly.
"Armaan..." He didn't look up, but she continued. "Maine tumse sacha pyar kiya Armaan. Maine tumhe apne Jaan se be zaada pyar kiya. Tum jab mujhe chood kar chale gaye, to mai pagal ho gayi thi Armaan. Pagal..."He voice broke, memories flooded back. The payal, the bus almost running her over, the goons, the barbed wire, the snow, Armaan leaving. "Tum mujhe dekh kar chale gaye Armaan, par phir bhi phir bhi main siraf tumhari thi." Armaan still didn't look up.
Riddhima:
She was saying all this to Armaan, he wasn't responding, but it didn't matter. He needed to know. He needed to know why and how. "Par jab main vaapis aayi, to sab kuch badal gaya tha. Sid, har vaqt Sid mere saath tha. Par hum dost nahin the, hum dushman bhi nahin the. Voh...Voh mera sahara tha. Mere zinda nikalne ki vaja...Logon ke baat karne ki vaje se, hum dono ko shaadi karne pardi. Par main. Par tumhare bina nahin jeesakti thi. Mujhe jeena hi nahin tha." Her voice cracked but she steadied it and continued. He needed to know. "Shaadi se phele maine suicide karni ki koshish kiya." Armaans head lifted suddenly. "Sid ne mujhe bachaya, aur phir bhi mujhse shaadi kiya. Humari shaadi ke phele din...ache nahin the. Sid khush nahin tha, aur main...Par, maine ek baath samjhi hai Armaan. Tumhara aur mera pyar, hamesha ke liye nahin tha. Tumhara aur mera pyar zindagi se nahin lard sakta tha. Sid ne mere khushi ke liye apne zindagi kho khartre mein dala. Sid aur main, zindagi se lard kar aaye hain.
She paused, looked at Sid and then continued.
"Us din main tumhari photos ek patni ke haisiat se jalaya. Shayad main Sid se tab pyar nahin karti thi, par us din ke baad...us din ke bad Armaan main kabhi tumari ho nahi sakti"
What she had to say next, that would be the hardest. But for Armaan it would be the most important.
"Par Armaan, yeh kabhi maat bhoolna, ki main tumse...main tumse apne jaan se bhi zyaada pyaar karthi thi..karthi thi."
Sid:
Armaan was looking straight ahead now. Not at Sid, not a Riddhima. Into space. He got up and walked straight. Like a Zombie. Riddhima stood up and watched him. Riddhima looked over at Sid helplessly. She looked lost and her whole body was shaking. He didn't move. He put out his hand and she walked up to him and took it. She leaned against him, putting the full weight of her body onto him. He put his other arm around her and walked out.
Sid:
Sid and Riddhima pulled up to his house. The whole car ride had been silent. Riddhima was thinking about Armaan, no doubt, and she should be. She hurt him, she felt bad. As they pulled into the driveway they saw another car pulling out. Suvarna was at the door, and Sid and Riddhima got out of the car. Sid didn't even have to say anything. "Mom is going to stay at Deepi Chachi's house. Aur main vapis hospital jahrahi hoon. Tumhara shift?"
"Aaj ka khatam ho gaya." He responded. She nodded and walked down the steps and out of the gate.
Sid carried Riddhima's bad inside, and she followed him. He walked down and put the bad into the room she was staying in before.
"Sid'" Riddhimas voice came cautiously from outside. "Humare kamre mein nahin rakhoge?"
He didn't think he heard her properly. His heart swelled up, and he nodded, only because he couldn't say anything.
He moved the bag into the other room, Riddhima went into the bathroom to take a shower and he went into the living room. There was a stack of papers and files that he needed to look at. He sighed and picked them up. He had been working for about twenty minutes when Riddhima came out. She looked fresh, but tired at the same time. He looked up at her,and she blushed slightly and looked away. He patted the seat next to him and a small smile appeared on her face. She came over and sat down next to him. She put her hand out, and he smiled. He gave her the two bottom files, and the both sat working, silently.
Random Narrator Dude: Raat hui aur phir har din ki tara suraaj upar aaya.
Riddhima:
Owww, my neck. That was the first thought that came into her brain. Her head was rested on top of his shoulder and Sid's head was resting lightly on hers. His hand was on her thigh and her hand was clutching it. Her eyes were open but she didn't want to move. He felt so comfortable, so warm. The doorbell rang. Ughhh. Slowly she tried to remove Sids head from hers, she got up and looked back. He looked so peaceful, she tapped herself on the head, snap out of it Riddhima, and she started walking. She felt a resistance. He had grabbed her hand.
Sid:
He woke up, Riddhima was trying to get up without waking him. He pretended to stay asleep, but grabbed her hand. She turned and try to get out of his grasp. But he stood up and came up until he was right behind her. He rested his head on her shoulder, put his hands around her waist and whispered "mujhe chod kar kahan jaa rahi ho"
He could feel her rolling her eyes, and smiling, she squirmed. "Sid..." She fake whined. "Koi darvase par hai...Mujhe..." He pulled her in tighter. "Siddhant." trying to be firm "Mujhe jaane do."
He buried his head into her neck, kissed her once, twice, thrice, and heard her moan slightly. He turned her around and said "Kyun?" with a slight lift to his head. He wrapped his hands completely around her waist and pulled her closer, there was no distance between them anymore. And he said "Tum mujhe ek vaajha do. Ek solid vaajha aur main tumhe jaane doonga."
Her eyes narrowed. "Aacha?" She put her arms around his neck and said "Tumhe vaaja chaiye?" He nodded. She leaned in, he looked at her with wide eyes. She came up to his ear and whispered "Main tumse bhot pyar karti hoon." Her face came back down and stood on her tiptoes. He face face barely three centimeters away from his and she asked with raised eyebrows "Kaafi Hai?" He began to respond and'.the door bell rang. Ufff. He looked toward the door, and taking advantage of his distraction she pushed him slightly and ran off to the door.
Narrator:
She was still smiling as she ran to the door. She opened it and...Armaan. Standing there. He looked like he had not slept all night, she was shocked. Sid came up behind her, looking behind and saying "Riddhima, kaun hai?" He turned his head and came to a complete stop. Armaan.
Sid:
Armaan. Subhe Subhe. Riddhima se baat karne aaya hoga. Obviously. Chill Sid, itni bardi baath nahin hai. Ab to tujhe pata hai na? Riddhima tujhe chahati hai.
Riddhima:
Armaan. Mere ghar par.
His mouth moved a little bit, but she couldn't hear him. She leaned foreward. "Kya main andar aasakta hoon?"
She looked back at Sid, and then to Armaan. She nodded slowly.
She moved aside and let him in. He wobbled down a couple of stairs into their living room. He looked at both of them and sat down on the couch. She looked at Sid, he looked at her and nodded. He wanted her to talk to Armaan? She had said all that she had to say to Armaan. She cared about him, obviously but'.she didn't know what else to say.
"Riddhima..." Armaan started, maybe she wouldn't have to say anything..."Riddhima Gupta. Tumse hi maine pyar kiya. Apni puri zindagi. Ek hi ladki. Aur tum..."His voice was drawling.
His voice started to elabate. "Tum siraf meri ho Riddhima Gupta.SI'"
"Riddhima Modi." She cut him off. "Gupta nahin. Modi"
He looked at her, and stood up. She looked right back at him.
Sid:
Armaan stood up, but Riddhima's gaze was unwavering. Armaan started taking steps towards her. Sid didn't do anything. Armaan was upset, it was fine.
But Armaan kept coming closer, and then, without even blinking. Sid was there. In front of Riddhima. He put his hand out. "Armaan" He tried to say it gently.
Armaan stepped forward and grabbed Sid's collar. Pulled him up and said. "TUM! Tumhe pata tha ki main siraf Riddhima ke liye vapis aaya hoon. Phir bhi...Riddhima mere liye sab kuch hai." Armaan shook Sid, but Sid didn't do anything back. Armaan has the right to be mad. Armaan had the right to be mad. He just repeating that to himself. But very very quietly he took his hand and slightly touched Riddhimas stomach to push her away. He couldn't see her, but he knew that she had moved back.
Armaan was
looking at him with such pain, but more than that uncontrollable anger.
Armaan
let him down. He lifted his arm back and threw a punch. It was as if all
of the
power that his body had was present in that punch. Sid fell to the
ground, his
jaw made contact and a sharp sting went through his body.
Sid hit the ground. He felt his mouth, blood was dripping out of his mouth. Awwww. He felt it and slowly got up. Armaan had turned away. Away from Riddhima and away from Sid. Sid walked up to Armaan, put his hand on his shoulder and said " Armaan'" But Armaan didn't want to hear it. Armaan began
"Tume pata tha ki Riddhima meri sub kuch hai. Main Riddhima ke liye vaapis aya tha..Siraf Riddhima ke liye." And then he hit Sid again. Tears sprung to Riddhima's eyes and she started out to Sid, but Sid held out his hand, barely. She stopped. Her eyes filled with tears, she felt as if her heart was bing torn out of her chest. "Sid..." She whispered. She couldn't bear it. Armaan hit him, again. She fell to her knees. Armaan lifted his hand again. She ran, ran to Sid who now was on the floor. She thre herself over him, and cupped his face. "Sid. Sid" she said sofly but frantically. Sid's eyes were almost closed, he was wincing with pain. There was a cut on his head and blood was oozing out of his mouth, he was grasping his side, rocking back and forth slightly. "Riddhima" he moaned. He tried to lift his head, but she didn't let him. She was kneeling by his face, she whispered "Sid...tum, tum. Theek ho. Main...main tume kuch nahin hone dungi. She took her dupatta and began slowly wiping the blood away. Suddenly she paused. Armaan was still there.
She turned around. "Tum yahan par aakar apna haq jatane aaye ho? Sid ko marker kya saabit karna chate ho? Tume choot poncho hai. Dil ka ghera choot. Muje pata hai par..Armaan cut her off. "Jo main zindagi mein kabhi karne ko sooch bhi nahin sakta, voh tumne kaise kiya? Humhare naam ek saath Armaan-Riddhima...Aur tum muje chood kar kisi aur'.
"Chood kart um mujhe gaye the Armaan" she sharply cut him off. "Jab tume pata chala ke tumhara insanity ka khatra tha tab. Tabi- us baar main shayad main samaj sakti hoon" She turned to face him in the face. "Par jab m ain hypothermia se mar rahi thi. Tum letter likh kar chale gaye. Letter mein tumne kaha hi kam saath nahin ho sakte. Letter main jab mein. Jab mein hypothermia se mar rahi thi. To mun mujhe chood kar chalege. So if I moved on Armaan, you can't be upset. Mushkil se to main aage bhardi hoo. Par bhardhi hoon. Kis halat mein, kis tarah...ye tumhe kabhi pata nahin chalega. Kyun ki tum nahi the. Yeh kabhi maat kehna ke main tumhe chood kar gayi. Tumhara naaraz hone ka haq hai. Par Sid ne siraf yeh sab kiya syunke voh chahata tha ki main chuno. Voh mujhe force nahin karna chahata tha. Aur voh chahatha ki main decide karron. Aur meri zimedaari thi kuch karne ki. Uski Nahin. Meri. Armaan.?" He looked shell shocked. "Tumhe agar yahan par rehna hai, to koi tumhe nahin rokega. Tumhe baat karna hai to karoo. Par agar tumne mere pati par haath uthaya naa. Toh tumhe yahan se jaana pardega."
Narrator:
She turned around and went back to Sid. She bent down to
where she was before. She put her dupatta to his lips and dabbed at the
blood.
Sid started at her, a slight smile creeped onto his innocent face. He
kissed
her hand that was at his lips, she laughed though her tears. She put her
head down
into his shoulder, she was laughing and crying. Tears started coming out
of his
eyes too, but a smile was also appearing on his face. He lifted his hand
up and
put it on her back. They were in an embrace, laughing and crying. Armaan
just stood there, watching them, lost in themselves.
Ek time tha Riddhima, ki meri naam se tumhare aakhein uth juhk jaati thi. Meri aawaz par sharmathi thi. Meri aane se tumhari hoot khiljati thi. Aur mere choot par tumhare aakhein bhar aati. Mere hone se, tum hoti thi. Tumhari dharkhan mein main dharkhan tha.Par aaj...Aaj nahin.
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