All Over Again!!!
Its Valentine's Night….and I am at this boring social party…..exchanging sweet Hi Hellos with every1….never thought I cud be doing sumthing as boring as this….that too on a Valentine's Night……I so wish to run away…..but I cant!! Bcoz those enchanting eyes compel me to be as close to HIM as possible!!! Being sum1 like me…..it is actually quite shocking to hear that I'm doing anything for sum1 else….but then that's not true!! Being me….I can never do anything for any1 else….and even now….I'm here for myself….wat else to do?? I feel so incomplete without that one person….who with his one gaze can send shiver down my spine…..though I still wonder how?
As much as I knw abt myself…..I'm not the kinda girl to fall for any guy….I hav serious disliking for guys….oops…I mean…ppl….I donno why I feel extremely irritated wid ppl around me….I cant act to be so sweet to all of them….I prefer loneliness more….but I prefer having him even more….donno y?? How did he ever manage to woo me?? Or even if he did….how did he ever manage to get it out from me?? That surely was the hardest thing to do….I can bet on that!!!
But then too….now when I look at him….I feel so weak in my knees….How cud I ever manage to conceal my feelings from him? Even if that was for a while…..how cud I even pretend not to be interested him?? How cud I be so gr8 an actress?? I still wonder….and am still wondering…..bcoz I knw…as he sees me lost….he'll cum to me….so even though I hav cum out of my thoughts….I'll act to be lost for sumtym….coz I so want him to be near me….ahh….thats so naughty of me!!
Now the guy cums and slides his hands to her waist while she almost leans bak on him.
Guy: Feeling bored?
Girl: Do u expect anything else?
Guy: Of course not!! (The girl smiles at that….he surely knws her better than herself) U just w8 here….I'll be bak in a sec….and then we'll go bak….(she nodded smilingly and he left pecking her forehead softly n quickly)
The girl kept staring at him n resumed her thoughts.
Who said no one else can knw u better than urself? I can say wid confidence….He knws me more than myself…well….one may say that it's bcoz…I don't remember anything abt my past lyf….but then too….even if I did….I'm sure he wud be the best one to knw me….bcoz its not abt knwing the past happenings or past relations of my lyf…..its abt knwing the inside of me….and I can say…. when I feel sumthing….he can feel that even before me….and as I realize my own feeling, I find him already doing the action!!
Well its not like I don't knw anything abt my past….He did tell me everything!! Like how we had met….and that still makes me laugh. It was like…I was walking along the road wid my frnd n we had to cross the road…..but it was a parking area n it was all jammed…..so I very conveniently moved his bike a bit n made way for us….I had long ago left the bike on the mercy of the railing beside….but then my frnd being way too gud….tried to place it bak on its stand….and being unable to do that….she began yelling my name….I was laughing like crazy and was abt to go bak to her….when he came rushing out of the shop where he had gone….and then I quickly came away wid my frnd….still laughing. That's the encounter I had wid him for the first tym….and my frnd or he himself….still reminds me of that!!….He said…I always remembered the irritation on his face!! But I wonder did I remember the irritation on his face….or just His Face??
Just then the guy returns biding a gud bye to his colleagues…
Guy: Sorry sweetie…it took a bit of tym…
Girl: U knw na….its always ok!!
The guy smiled n left to get the car…..while she was again in her thoughts!!
I met him next tym in my best frnd's elder bro's wedding!! He was the groom's frnd!! But I didn't recognize him at first….actually….I didn't notice him at first….but then my frnd nudged me to look at a handsum face….and I said… "Its him" She didn't understand who I was talking abt….or how I knew him…but then I had reminded her that he was the same guy….whose bike we or rather I had moved n had so much fun!! She was quite shocked that I still remembered the face….as she knew I hav this habit of not remembering faces….but then…how cud I tell her that I cudnt forget that particular Face??
And though my frnd didn't knw wat else I had been doing in the wedding….I'm sure I must hav been stealing glances at him…..and yes….he did confirm that to me later!! Apparently even he recognized me…..and was surprised…he said he was also a bit irritated….but then when he saw me glancing at him he cudnt help smiling!! He says ……at one point he had smiled at me cordially n I had shied away!!
If not him….I wud hav never believed anything of this sort….coz as per my nature goes…I don't keep looking at boys….that too so boldly. But how can I deny anything he says….and of course…now I can see the proof myself…as sumtym bak….thats wat I was doing in the party….that is gazing intently at my hoxy husband!! Ahh….I mean my hot n sexy husband!!
Now the guy has cum bak wid the car….getting out he opens the front door for her like a true gentleman….and then goes to the driving seat himself…
Guy: Want to feel the breeze?
Girl: Hmm…
And he opened the glass….knwing well how much she enjoyed feeling the breeze across her face. And then he started driving away….while she again drifts to her thoughts.
He said….he had got my phn number after pleading his frnd a lot so that he cud get it from his sister….who was my best frnd. He says….when he had called me….I simply refused to talk….well….thats quite obvious!! I cant think of talking to sum1 like that….as I hav been brought up like that….but then he was very much interested….and persuaded his frnd's sister….who happens to be my frnd….to make me understand so that I give him a chance!! Phew….he did do so much for me….whereas I had done nothing at all….instead of making things more difficult for him.
My frnd talked to me n said he was not the kinda of guy to hurt me….he was seriously interested….but how cud I blv that he was interested in me without even talking to me? May be the simple logic didn't cross my mind that even I was equally interested in him without even talking to him. He says….he had a hard tym but I was too scared to trust him….and had said that I wud not do anything without letting my parents knw…I didn't blv in the concept of boyfrnd-girlfrnd….so I wud not date him!! And then….he came up to my house next day…..along wid his parents…..saying he had cum wid a proposal….to my parents!!! He said he wanted to marry me!! My parents were astonished….a guy from nowhere was now here….asking for their daughter's hand….this was bound to surprise them!! They had asked me my opinion….and I cudnt say a no….I had said…I like him by the first look….and wud definitely like to knw if I can spend the whole lyf wid him….I had said I needed sum tym….
And then it all had begun….my parents had checked abt him n his family….and all was gud….and here I wud spend tym wid him…mostly in groups…and had realized how gud a person he is!! Again….there was my best frnd…whose brother's frnd he was….She was also in praises of her desired wud-be jiju….in fact all my frnds said….he was a nice person at heart….and may be I also realized that well.
So I had given my nod to marriage….and our engagement took place….he has shown me the pics…and we really looked like a 'made for each other' pair…..ahh….we still look like one!!!
And then…on such a Valentine night….I was going to meet my fiance….he had arranged a date for me….but on the way my car met wid an accident…and I was in hospital for over three months. And when I gained consciousness the docs said…I was suffering from amnesia….
I still remember how helpless I felt at that tym….seeing so many strangers by my side….all were said to be crying for me…but I didn't knw any of them!! But amidst all I cud see a face feeling happy n smiling….I was confused as to why he was smiling….but then I realized it quite later that he had always just wanted me to get bak my consciousness….and to be alryt….my memory was not the prime factor for him….well why shud be??? I may not remember the past incidents or anything….I'm still the same…from inside…and yeah……thanks to God…I hav no physical scars as well….so he was bound to love me the way he did before….well that's wat he had said….but I knw…even if I had any scars or worse…even if I had died…he wud hav loved me…and only me…..as he says….he loves me crazily…and can never imagine himself without that!!
The guy suddenly closes the glasses n she cums out of her thoughts as she cannot feel the cool breeze anymore…she looked at him confused…
Guy: U'll catch cold....its a bit chilly!!
The girl smiled at his care….he was always like that…and so she cudnt help falling for him…the girl slowly leaned towards him….and put her head on his shoulder while sliding her hands inside his arms….she closed her eyes n he smiled looking at her beautiful tender self…he kissed her hair…and continued to drive carefully!! And here she again recalled her memories….
I still remember how hard it was for me to knw every1 all over again…it was even harder to trust any1…I so many tyms had wanted to finish off myself….but those enchanting eyes….wud always stop me from doing anything so drastic!! He had got so much care for me…that I cudnt imagine to hurt him….ever!! But the most surprising part was he never let me knw he was my fiance…he had always appeared like a frnd to me…he says….he didn't want to force me into him….but then God had actually made us for each other….I cud be wid no one else but him….even though he never let me knw how crazily he loved me….I had fallen for him….crazily!!! In fact even now…..after abt 9 months of our marriage….I'm equally crazy for my husband…or may be even more!! Well….the kinda guy he is….I really cudnt help doing that!! But then….the biggest problem was my admitting…..I was too apprehensive to confess anything like that…..after loving him crazily for almost 2 months….I had admitted my love….to myself!!! So it can be very well understood….how hopeless I am!!! How cud I say it to any1 else??
Then one day….while watching a film….sumwat related to this concept of amnesia….one thing struck me….if I was in love wid any1 else?? Or even worse…was I married or wat?? And my over-working mind started thinking possibilities of such a thing….and also created various reasons as to why my family n frnds wud want to conceal it from me…..I was almost shattered from inside….I was scared to think anything of that sort…..I was praying….not marriage at least….as I knew it cud snatch away my liberty…..To think my life wid him!!! To love him madly!!! To want him in my life so desperately!!!
And then….mustering all my courage…I had asked my parents…if I was married or wat?? Their tensed n surprised face was enough for me to assume things n I rushed towards my room locking myself inside!!! I being a stupid….didnt even let them say anything….At that moment the first thing they did was to call him….he came home n started banging the door….but I was too upset n shattered to open it…though I was having hard tym resisting him….I didn't feel like opening the door n seeing his face….after all how cud I control myself then?? That day I must hav gone mad….but it was not for him then……I'm sure I had been bitten by a mad dog…..otherwise how cud I be so stupid???
And the worst part is….I didn't open the door till night….I was weeping in my room…and unknown to me….he was crying silently outside!! I so hate myself for making him cry….but I knw…he loves me too much despite that!!
And then late at night….I had opened the door….wid a crazy thought of running away….but then he was still there…sitting on the ground….may be he was drifted off to sleep….but the slight noise of my opening the door was enough to wake him up…he opened his eyes n rushed to me as he thought I wud close the door again….little did he knw….I was too engrossed in his innocent cute face to think of closing a dam door.
He turned me towards him n hugged me fiercely!! At first I was shocked…but how cud I stop myself from hugging him bak?? That was not sumthing possible for me….well its still impossible….and so I had hugged him bak wid full force…and after sumtym he murmured "I love you"….and I didn't knw how to react….I was so dam confused!! I detached myself and poured out my confusion…and the only thing he did was laugh….and the only thing he said was 'Pagli'….With his laugh….my parents had cum out of their room…and were finally relieved to see me out of the door. At that tym I had thought….how can they be so relieved to find their daughter in another man's arms….in the middle of the night?? And then my over-working mind worked again….and I asked them if HE was my husband. But they said 'no'….while adding….he was my fiance…I looked at him for assurance n he nodded……..reading my mind or rather heart….as always!! Then in the middle of the night….I had quarreled wid him for keeping it a secret from me for so long….and I still justify myself saying….I was confused only bcoz he had not let me knw the truth!! I had been a lil upset over the fact that I had 2 months less to be wid him….but we both knw….I cherish those months a lot….otherwise…I wud hav never felt the bliss of falling in love……all over again!!!
Now the car stops….and the girl looks outside to see that they had reached the home. She smilingly straightened up….and got out of the car…..while he parked it in the garage!! He came bak to find her still standing at the doorstep w8ing for him….he smilingly proceeded towards her n lifted her up in his arms….while she opened the door….and they both went inside!! He carried her towards the bedroom and she kept looking at him lovingly…..while keeping her hands around his neck n slowing caressing his hair at the back. As they reached the bedroom….he asked her to open the door…and as she did it…she was surprised to see it beautifully decorated…creating a cozy subtle environment for the couple….He put her down n she moved forward to see a cake on the table….written "Happy Valentines Jaan" on it…..She was shockingly surprised….The guy came from behind n wrapped his arms around her waist…
Guy: How do u like it??
Girl: Its amazing…..but when did u do it??
And then it strikes her….he had told her to go the party on her own as he had sum important work….and said he wud join her lately.
Girl: So this was ur important work?
Guy: Any doubt abt the importance of this??
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Though I knw I'm 2 years late for this….but then its better late than never!!
She gasped as she realized he was talking abt that Valentine….2 yrs bak….when her one accident had changed so many thing….it was so aching….specially for him!!
Girl: I don't think my love can suffice for urs…
Guy: U can keep ur love for the next birth….coz in this birth….mine is more than enough!! Trust me!! (and he softly kissed her neck)
Girl: (closed her eyes n said in a whisper) I always trust u…I cant help that!!
Guy: (smiled) Shall we cut the cake? Its almost getting 12…
She nodded smilingly and then they cut the cake n fed each other…
Girl: I love chocolate cake!!
Guy: I specially love it with u…
And she gazed into his eyes n as always got weak in the knees…..how cud she ever stop herself from drowning in his eyes? He then leaned forward to place his lips on hers….while she responded with the same passion!! After a while they broke the kiss…and she kept smiling to herself.
Guy: Wat happened? Wat r u thinking and smiling abt?
Girl: Its just….I think I lost my memory….bcoz I had to store all these new ones…
Guy: (lifting her up in his arms n taking her towards the bed) Hmm…after all u don't seem to hav much space in mind….it was necessary to delete the past ones!!
She just smacked him while shying away in his chest only. And then they enjoyed the depth of each other's love….while the house can be seen from outside with the name plate of "Mr. & Mrs. Viraan Singhania".
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Edited by sumaiya wahid - 15 years ago
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