Definition of love(AR ff) part 19-- pg #70 (last)

Some say love is a wonderful feeling. Some define it as the most valuable gift of the god. For some people it means nothing than a lure and a mist. But what does it mean to be in love? What is the true meaning of love? Does it mean to sacrifice your life for someone? Does it mean to be possessive about someone? Does it mean to cry in someone's pain and smile in their happiness? These questions are as unique as the dilemma that many people in the world today, face while answering these questions.

This story is about a girl who is trying to figure out the true meaning of life and love. In her journey of life she comes across many challenges, good and bad situations. She meets people who have faced the ups and downs in their life. Every time she meets a new person, she learns new lesson. She learns about life, love, suffering and pain. The four colors of rainbow of the life. When you mix all these colors, you end up with the color of the death. Above all, she feels their pain and learns the amazing art of healing the pain.

Till the age of 23 she has been alone but never felt lonely, as she had her family and friends to give her company. Then as time passes, when everyone gets busy with their personal life, her loneliness starts to drown her into the pool of darkness and loneliness. Finally, she comes to believe that she is destined to live alone and help others by taking their pain. She as a true follower of god believes that this is the reason that God sent her to Earth. But that wasn't what fate had for her. She meets her love, the one she was waiting for, the perfect mate that she used to dream about. She faces many obstacles and goes through all those suffering that one can imagine of. Then the story goes on......

Index

Part 1-11 --> Page 1

Part 12--> Page 46

Part 13 ---> Page 53

Part 14 ---> Page 58

Part 15 ----> Page 62

Part 16-17 ---> Page 66

Summary from part 1-14 ---> page 62

Flashbacks are in green

Ridhima's diary entries are in gray (or near to gray)

Finally, the present is in black

The sun was hiding behind the clouds. The drops of water falling down on the earth felt like as if someone in heaven was crying seeing the pain she was going through. Ridhima Gupta had lost her brother, supporter, and inspiration, Jay Gupta. Tears made their way through her eyes as she remembered the painful incident.....

Flashback:

He came home at 11' O clock at night. This was unusual because Jay would always be home by 10. He tiptoes inside the house with an intention of not waking anyone.

"Where were you?" Ridhima asks, looking at her brother suspiciously.

Then Juhi and Rahul, their parents come out of their bedroom.

Who was he kidding? They would never eat dinner without him. He should have known that they can never sleep knowing that he hasn't eaten. "But they have to get used to it. Mainly after the decision I've taken last night," thought Jay.

Jay clears his throat and says," Actually, I was in my friend's birthday party. I've eaten my dinner already."

Then without giving them a chance to hit him with another question, he rushes to his room. All three, Ridhima, Juhi and Rahul were surprised by his action. This was like a rule in their house to have dinner together, so that they can spend a quality time with each other. This would be the first night that they didn't have dinner together. That night everyone went to bed without having dinner including Jay. He hadn't eaten anything either.

Ridhima couldn't sleep the whole night thinking what might be the problem with her brother. Why was he acting like this? She had noticed how tensed he looked during these days. The fun loving Jay who was always ready to bring smile on others face had lost the smile from his own lips.

The next day Jay didn't come out of his room even once. No one noticed as Ridhima had gone to school early morning, Juhi and Rahul had gone in their friend's daughter's wedding.

That day Ridhima came early from school. She didn't see Jay and thought maybe he's out searching for job.

Jay was searching for job from 2 months as there was no one to earn in the family. They were managing from the little money that they had borrowed from some of his friends. Rahul had lost his right hand during an accident 2 months before. He lost his job. No one would hire a disabled man. Yes, their family was poor and was suffering. But they never complained. Whatever came in their path, they took it as god's wish.

Jay had the responsibility of his family on his shoulders. He couldn't complete his college. He left his studies at the end of third year.

He tried his best to arrange money for Ridhima to study in a private school. He felt even though he wasn't able to accomplish his dream which was to become a neuron surgeon, his sister should. But Ridhima knowing the economic condition of her family, decided to go to a public school. Jay was applying for Harvard in United States before Rahul's accident, as it had been his dream to study there.

Unfortunately, that terrible accident changed his life and his destiny. He started searching for job but it was hard to find a white color job without any degree.

It was 12 at night and Juhi and Rahul had already returned from the wedding. They were waiting for Jay as usual.

Juhi- "Ridhima beta, where's Jay?"

Ridhima- "I don't know mamma. I haven't seen him from morning."

Rahul- "It's already 12 sharp. It's dangerous. He shouldn't be out so late. Try his cell beta."

Ridhima redials the number but no one picks it. She has been trying his number from past half hour.

Ridhima-"He's not picking it."

Rahul- "Oh remember Atul was returning from Canada today. Maybe the two best buddies are spending time together."

Juhi- "Oh yes, they haven't seen each other for ages. Maybe he'll spend his night at Atul's house. We don't even have his number."

Even though they were worried and knew that Atul would come to their house if he had come to India. Atul had always taken them as his own family. He had lost his mother in his childhood and never cared about his father who had married another woman. He loved Ridhima as his own sister.

That night also they went to bed without having dinner. No one could sleep that night. Next morning everyone was at home as it was Sunday. Still Jay was nowhere in sight.

Then suddenly the bell rings.

Ridhima- "I'll get it."

Ridhima opens the door and sees Atul standing in front of her. Atul hugs Ridhima with lots of affection, but when he sees her sad eyes, he suspects that something's wrong.

Atul- "What's the matter Ridzi? Aren't you happy to see me?"

Ridhima- "No Atul that's not the reason. I was expecting Jay bhai to be with you. We haven't seen him from yesterday. I'm really worried. I don't know what to do. I don't want to worry mom and dad. You know their condition right?"

Atul understanding the situation tries to cheer Ridhima.

Atul- "Don't worry Ridzi. When Viru's here nothing will happen to Jay. Now are you planning to keep me outside like this? Your brother has come home after 5 long years. Don't you think you're being little rude to him?"

Ridhima smiles and tells him to come inside. Juhi and Rahul were sitting on the couch both worried about Jay. They both see Atul and don't know whether to be sad or happy. He was their other son for them. They had never differentiated between Atul and Jay. They're happy that their one son has come home after 5 long years and sad that they don't have any idea where their other son is.

Atul goes and touches his parent's feet and hugs Juhi.

Atul- "Don't worry ma. Everything will be fine."

Juhi and Rahul guess that Ridhima might have told him.

Atul- "Ridhima, did you try calling him?"

Ridhima ' "Yes Atul, I tried his cell many times but he's not taking the calls. I've even called all his friends who I know but they all say they don't know anything about him."

Atul feels that there's something terribly wrong. He doesn't want to increase Rahul and Juhi's problems by asking them questions at this age and their bad health condition. So he decides to talk to Ridhima in private.

Atul- "Can we go to your room?"

They go to Ridhima's room. Ridhima's room was next to Jay's room. Jay never let anyone enter his room.

Atul- "Ok. Now try his number again."

Ridhima dials the number and then they hear a phone ringing close to them.

Ridhima- "This is Jay bhai's ringtone. Where's it coming from?"

Atul- "I guess' from his room."

Jay would be furious if he knew they had entered his room but they couldn't care about his anger at the moment like this. The room smelled as if some kind of animal was rotting. They open the door and were horrified seeing the sight in front of them.

Jay was lying on the floor. His eyes were wide open and his tongue was sticking out. His whole body looked pale. The nerves were visible on his face making his face look greenish blue. There was a bottle of sleeping tablets near his hand. It looked like it had slipped off his hand. There was another bottle of mouse poison next to it. There was a wrapper of chocolate. Jay had committed suicide.

The way he had killed himself looked like he had been planning his own death. He was indeed a clever science student. He ate chocolate so that the poison can work faster. He hadn't left even a single chance of living by having two poisons and a chocolate on top of it.

Seeing the sight in front of her, Ridhima went numb. Atul couldn't believe what he was seeing. He couldn't control his feelings and started crying calling Jay's name.

"Jay! Wake up Jay! Look I've come to meet you. Jay! Look your brother, your Viru has come all the way from Canada just to see you. Talk to me Jay! Ridhima (he goes to Ridhima) Ridhima tell him to wake up. Tell him to talk to me. (Ridhima doesn't show any response. She is standing there like a statue. Atul again goes toward Jay) Jay! Wake up Jay. (Starts slapping Jay) I said wake up. Wake up!"

Hearing Atul's shout, Juhi and Rahul come there. Juhi faints seeing her child in that state. Rahul just can't believe his eyes. When Atul sees Juhi faint, he goes towards her.

The siren of Ambulance can be heard. There are two ambulances, one for Juhi and another for Jay.

Atul was totally broken and as for Ridhima she looked like a paralyzed person. She wasn't aware of her surroundings. Seeing Ridhima, his sister in that state brought more pain to Atul's heart. He couldn't see his sister like that.

Atul- "Ridhima, please say something. I can't see you like this. Ridhima please."

Just then the doctor who was operating Jay came and said," The poison had spread all over his body. I'm sorry we tried our best but couldn't save him."

They already knew that Jay was no more. But what was scaring them more was Juhi's condition. They had already lost one family member. They couldn't bear to lose another.

"What if ma also leaves us? No, this cannot happen. No, god please don't do this to me. I can't bear to lose her. I have to be strong. If I start weakening then who will take care of pa and Ridzi," thought Atul.

Atul didn't know what to do. Ridhima was standing on the corner without any expression on her face. Rahul was sitting on the bench with his head on his hand. Atul went to him and tried to console him.

Then the doctor who was operating Juhi came and told Atul to come to his cabin.

Dr. Shashank: "How are you beta?"

Atul (without any expression) - "Dr. Shashank (looking directly into his eyes) I'm not your son and you're not my dad. The people who're standing outside are my family. Now tell me how my mom is."

Dr. Shashank (sighs) ' "Her breast cancer is spreading to lungs. She has got about 1 month left."

On hearing this Atul gets tears in his eyes. Shashank goes next to Atul and puts his hand on Atul's shoulder. Atul pushes Shashank's hand and says," I don't need your sympathy Dr. Shashank."

Then he exits from the cabin. On the door he sees Ridhima. She had heard everything. She hugs Atul tightly and finally lets all her pain flow away.

Flashback ends

Ridhima gets tears remembering how she had controlled her emotions in front of her papa. It has been two days after her brother's death and now her mom is about to leave this world and her forever. She can't bear to think of the pain that her dad will be going through after knowing about his wife.

*********************************************************************************************************

Part 2

It was the day when she had come to this earth. This was the day when Mrs. Juhi Rahul Gupta had brought new happiness in Gupta family in the form of Ridhima. Yes today, 11^th September was Ridhima Gupta's birthday, the only day when a person can never feel sad and feel the most important person for their loved ones. However her happy birthday had turned out to be the saddest birthday ever.

Instead of being showered with gifts, everything was taken away from her. At the age of 17, she had lost all the valuable gifts that she used to thank god for. Jay, her brother committed suicide, the biggest sin in nature. Her mother breathed her last breathe 24 hours ago. And now finally, the only family she had left, her dad got hit by a truck and left her all alone in this harsh world.

She didn't know what to do, how to react and how she will face the world alone, without any support. Well for now the only support she has is Atul, her other brother. Even though god took away all her family members, her faith in her god didn't die.

Ridhima- " hey bagwaan jee. I know that even though you took all my loved ones away from me, I'm grateful to you that my Atul bhai is safe. You know that I've never asked you to make anything easier for me. But please give me enough strength, so that I can fulfill my parents' dream, find out the reason for Jay bhaiya's suicide, so that I can keep Atul bhai happy. Oh god! Give me enough power so that I can be Atul bhai's strength and not weakness. I know that even though, I am the one who has lost her whole family, Atul bhai's pain is more greater than mine. He already lost his mother and now his other family too. You might have your own reason for doing it and I have no complain with you. But god, please give all Atul bhai's pain to me and give all my happiness to him. Thank you god for giving me a brother like Atul bhai."

Ridhima after finishing her prayer goes to Atul. Atul was shaken with all the sad news. He was acting like a body without soul. There was no expression on his face. How can god be so cruel! What had he done wrong! Why did god always test him! He lost his mother and then his father after marring other women. Now his other family who had become his only world to him was no more in this world.

Ridhima put her hand on his shoulder. Atul looked at Ridhima and seeing his sister hugged her and said in between soft sobs, " Why Ridhima? Why did this happen to us? We've never done anything wrong. Then why is god punishing us?"

Ridhima couldn't control her tears seeing the state of her beloved brother. But she knows that her tears will weaken her more and mainly her brother. She has to be strong for Atul and for her aim.

Ridhima- " Bhaiya! Jo ho gaya so ho gaya. We can change neither our past nor our fate. It was god's will and we have to accept it. Bhaiya please let's forget our past and start our new life somewhere far from here. I don't think I can live in this place after all that has happened in our life these past days. I want to forget every painful past of our life. I want to start from beginning."

Atul- "Yes Ridhima, let's go away from here. This place has got lots of past memories. Let's go far from here."

Both of them were shattered. They didn't know what to do or where to go. They had lost everything. They could neither go to their own house because it had lots of painful memories, nor could they ask for help from anyone else, as they had no relatives. Rahul and Juhi had married each other against their parents' will and had no contact with them these past years.

Atul was devastated. He was grateful to god for giving him such a nice family even after his mother's death. At least, he had one thing to be happy about. He used to be happy thinking that still there are some people in this world who care about him, who can never do anything that will hurt him unlike his own father. Now the only reason to be happy about was also gone. The Atul who was always happy was replaced by the Atul who didn't know how to smile.

They were done with all the religious customs for all three dead bodies.

It had been 2 days since the accident of Rahul. Ridhima was standing on the edge of the hill looking at the river down the hill where they had just burned her whole family.

Atul stands next to Ridhima after talking to someone in phone. He lightly puts his hand on her shoulder and calls her name," Ridhima."

Ridhima turns to Atul and hugs him.

Atul- "Ro lo Ridhima ro lo'. Aapna sarha gum in aashuoo se nikaaldo."

They both cried for like half hour and then after composing themselves, Atul looked at his sister. He promised himself that he will take care of her and never let anything hurt her.

Atul- "Bas Ridhima ab bohut ho gaya. Ab hum yeha nahi rahenge. I've talked to a very close friend in United States. He will manage two tickets for us and we'll leave this place as soon as possible."

Ridhima '" But bhai what will we do there? We don't know anyone. What about legal papers? What about my education? I have to finish my school."

Atul- " Don't worry Ridhima, I'll take care of all that. Aur jaha tak tumari padai ka sawaal hai. Tum US ki high school join kar sakti ho. Tumne bhi to kaha tha ki tum yeha nahi rehna chati. I don't want to stay in this place either. I feel like they are still alive. It brings the past memories. I can't stop remembering them."

(Wiping the tears in Atul's eyes) Ridhima said, "Ha Bhaiya. Let's go far from here where we can start a new life. They are gone and they'll never return back. This place is related to them and will keep us reminding of them."

Suddenly, Atul gets a call from Rahul."

Atul-" Ha Rahul bolo."

Rahul- "Ha Atul. Maine pata kiya ki you guys need a passport, birth certificate and visa to enter the country has legal immigrants. There's a problem. It takes a long time to get visa."

Atul-" How long?"

Rahul-"Can't say. Sometimes it takes 6 months after you've applied for it, or sometimes even a year."

Atul (caressing his forehead)-"Isn't there any way that we can make it earlier?"

Rahul-"It is next to impossible here because only some take money and if you come across a person who's against it you can even get arrested but in India everything's possible if you have money or contact with the government people."

Atul- "Ok. Thanks yaar. I'm really grateful to you."

Rahul- "Now stop it! How many times do I have to tell you I don't want any formality? I don't do it for you. I do it for my friend. Atul, I know that you have been through a lot but you have to be strong for your sister. Just imagine how much pain she must be going through. She became the unluckiest girl on the same day when she was to be the luckiest person. She has been through a lot. She needs your support Atul. Take care of your little sister."

Atul- "I know Rahul. I will be strong. I will never let anything hurt her."

Rahul- "That's like my buddy."

They spent next week roaming around the government office. When Atul doesn't see any hope, he goes to Shasank for help. Shasank happily helps him. Shasank talks to the government offices for visa and gives him the money he needed to buy tickets for Ridhima and him. Atul tells Shasank that he will pay his money back as soon as possible. Shasank disheartened by his son's response becomes sad but deep somewhere inside his heart knows that one day Atul will forgive him and accept his step mother and his siblings.

Atul and Ridhima not even for once go to that house where jay had committed suicide. Atul tells one of his friends to bring all the necessary stuff of Ridhima and an album of their family. They start making preparations to leave the country as soon as possible.

****************************************************************************************************************

Part 3

Their flight takes off. Shasank bids goodbye to Atul from far corner, so that Atul cannot see him. He makes all the arrangements for Atul and Ridhima. Even though he didn't know anything about Ridhima except that now she was a complete orphan and had no one in the world except for his son, he had a soft corner in his heart for her.

After fourteen to seventeen hours, they are about to land. Ridhima looks down the plane. The view of new city scared her. She wasn't scared of heights but of what to expect from life next.

But in a strange way, she felt as if something good was about to happen. She felt as if god had a huge reason behind bringing her to this country, which is known as United States of America. It is a place where people learn to be free, where they learn to be themselves and nobody else. She had this strong feeling that she was going to meet someone very special, who will take all the pains from her heart.

Ridhima in her mind - "I know this is the place where I'll find my destination. I know this is the place where I can fulfill my parent's wish and my brother's dream. I will never let anything come across my path. "

Atul- "Ridhima be ready. The plane's about to land."

Ridhima was really scared while taking off and landing. Mainly because this was her first time in plane.

Atul put his hand on hers and said," I'm here with you. Don't worry."

Ridhima smiled at Atul, seeing his concern for her. God hadn't taken everything valuable from her life after all.

After getting out of the plane, Atul started searching for someone in the crowd of people

Ridhima- "Bhai who are you searching for? There's one taxi driver over there."(thinking that may be he's searching for a taxi)

Atul- "No Ridzi. I'm searching for Rahul. He told me that he will pick us up from airport."

Ridhima sees a man behind a small crowd of people trying to get through the crowd. From the description that Atul had given her before, it pretty much matched with the person.

Ridhima- "Bhai, Kahi woh toh Rahul bhaiya nahi hai?"

Atul looks at the direction to which Ridhima pointed at. Yes indeed it was Rahul, his childhood buddy.

They hug each other and Atul introduces Rahul to Ridhima.

On their way to Rahul's house they are all chattering about Rahul and Atul's past life.

Even though Ridhima has just been through a lot in her life, she never lets anyone know her deep feelings. She hides her pain under her smiling face. Looking at her no one can say that just a few weeks before she lost her parents and brother.

Rahul was really impressed by Ridhima. "She's very strong girl. I thought she would be weeping and crying about her family's death but she's good in hiding her feelings. But I can tell looking at her eyes that her smile doesn't reach her eyes."

Rahul was lost in his thoughts when Ridhima shook him to bring him back to reality.

Ridhima- "Rahul Bhaiya kya huwa? Are you ok?"

Rahul coming out of his dream world said," Oh I'm ok. Oh I forgot to tell you. I've made all arrangements for your school. All the transcripts that Atul faxed me, I gave them to your new high school. Even though it's a public school, it's one of the best. Even my brother goes there. I hope you like the school."

Ridhima- "Thank you so much bhaiya. I don't know how I'll ever pay you back. You made arrangements for my school and you searched a house for us. We're really grateful to'"

Rahul-"Hare yaar! Ridzi tum bhi Atul ki tara baat karne lagi. Abhi abhi baiya bhi kaha aur keheti ho "I don't know how'll I pay you back" do you guys have some respect for me?"

Ridhima- "I'm sorry bhaiya. Please mujhe maaj kar dijiye. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Rahul- "It's not ok but I can forgive you under one condition."

Ridhima(wondering what the condition might be)- I can do anything for you. Tell me what's your condition.

Rahul (looking at both Atul and Ridhima with a slight smile on his face)- Both of you have to stay in my house as a family.

Ridhima- "But'"

Rahul- "No buts. I'm not going to listen to any excuses."

Atul- "hume toh koi problem nahi hai. Lekin teri family. Unhe kya achhcha lagega."

Rahul- " yaar tu fikar kyu karta hai? Mere mummy, papa ki divorce ho gaya hai. Aur dono aapne aapne life main busy hai. Mere paas toh sirf mera chota bhai aur meri cousin sister reheti hai."

Ridhima- "Fir aap income kyase banate ho?"

Rahul- "I've just finished my college. Ab main dad ka business samalta hu. My dad has retired and now enjoys his life doing god knows what."

Atul- "maine bhi aapni padai khatam karli. Ab main job dundna suru karta hu. Maina suna hai yeha aak bahut accha hospital hai. Kya tha naam..umm'.. oh ha Sanjivani. I heard it's a very nice hospital."

Rahul- "Well I can't say anything about it. You'll have to ask some other people."

Atul- "Why are you saying that? Is it that bad?"

"Well.. what can I tell you, if you ask the owner of the hospital how his hospital is? Of course I'll tell you that it's awesome," said Rahul winking at Ridhima.

Atul- "I didn't know that. Anyways how many hotels, restaurants and hospitals do you guys have? How can you manage all these? We can't live with you guys. People will think that we're staying with you because of your money."

Rahul," If you repeat that again, I promise I'll slap you right on your face. Now I understand you never took me as your friend. And me, I took you as my brother more than a friend."

Atul hugging Rahul said," I'm sorry Rahul. Jay ke jane ke baad tu hi toh mera aasli dost hai. Mera sachha bhai. "

Ridhima has tears in her eyes but wipes them immediately.

Ridhima- "Ok. Tell me about you guys. I never knew that Atul had such a rich friend. You told me that you were childhood friends but how come we were with Atul for so long and didn't hear much about you?"

Atul- "I'll tell you. Well both of us were really close to each other. We spent our childhood together. Then Rahul at the age of 10 had to come here and I changed my school. There I met Jay who taught me lot of things and gave me a place in his family. Through him I got my family." He had tears in his eyes.

"Ridhima, I don't know if Atul ever told you about Anjali," said Rahul trying to break the emotional moment.

Ridhima- "No he never told me about her. Who's she by the way?"

Atul (smiling nervously while covering Rahul's mouth)' "No one Ridhzi. You don't know how this Rahul is. He's always talking nonsense. (looking at Rahul angrily) You were talking nonsense na Rahul?"

Atul goes near his ear and whispers- "If you open your express mouth again, I'll kill you. You better keep quiet."

By now they had reached Rahul's home. Home would be a small word to describe his huge palace. Atul and Ridhima just came out of the car without noticing the palace infront of them."

Ridhima (coming out of the car)- Please tell me Rahul bhai. Who's this Anjali?"

Rahul- "I'm sorry Ridhima but I don't want to die so soon."

Ridhima- "Ok then fine I'll not talk to Atul bhai unless he tells me about his Anjali himself."

Atul gives a look at Rahul, and then as if he remembered something smiles wickedly. "I haven't seen Muskaan for a while. Ridhzi, you told me that she had shifted here in New York a year before right? You know Rahul is a very very close friend of hers."

Ridhima '"How do you know Muskaan di? She never told me about you."

Ridhima and Muskaan had been best friends since the time when Muskaan was 11. She was in the same school as Rahul and Atul but later she also had changed her school a year after Rahul left. In the new school she met Ridhima and they became best of friends. They shared everything with each other. They were always there for each other. However, on the day Ridhima's parents died Muskaan didn't come for her support. Even though Ridhima was little hurt, she decided to believe that may be Muskaan doesn't know about it or maybe she couldn't find her as they never returned to that house again.

"Well me, Atul, Anjali and Muskaan were in the same primary school. She probably forgot me," said Rahul with a little frown.

Atul decided to play his cards seeing the situation- "Oh oh. Someone's missing their first crush."

Rahul smiled at Atul's remark and fired back- "Oh oh. Someone's going to meet their first love after 10 years."

Atul's cheeks were blushing a little bit. As for Ridhima, she started putting the puzzle's pices together. Finally it all made sense.

"Hmm..So Atul bhai still likes Anjali and Rahul bhaiya still likes Muskaan but why did Rahul baiya say that Atul will meet his love after 10 years?" Ridhima is trying to solve the last piece of her puzzle when Rahul calls her.

"Ridhima are you planning to stay outside the house forever. You guys haven't even looked at the house just for once. I know that it doesn't look that marvelous but still it's not that bad. In fact I think it looks pretty. After all I designed it." Rahul was blabbering while Atul and Ridhima were admiring the beauty of the huge mansion in front of them.

The architecture of the house was so pretty and different.

Both Atul and Ridhima started walking towards the house behind Rahul, while a servant took their suitcase to their respective rooms. They enter the living room. The room was painted white plus brown color. The combination of colors added more to its beauty. The design was perfect. Every object was kept perfectly.

Rahul- "Guys fresh up. Melissa will take you to your respective rooms. By the way she works for us but is like our aunt. Anjali will be back at 5 and Armaan maybe at 6 or 7."

Atul was starting to blush remembering the moments he spent with Anjali. How he used to run around her and how she used to get mad at him but no matter what she told him, he would fall in love with her more.

Rahul and Ridhima notice this and smile to each other.

Ridhima-"But Rahul Bhaiya who are they?"

Rahul- "Oh I'm sorry I forgot to tell you. Anjali is my cousin and Armaan my little brother."

The he took them to a corner and showed their family photos. Ridhima saw a cute guy with dimples. Rahul pointing towards a picture of his and his brother said, "This is Armaan. This is the picture when we celebrated our parent's last anniversary." Tears started wailing up in his eyes. Ridhima hugged him. Rahul felt the warm in her hug. He had always heard a lot about her from Atul and wanted to have sister like her. He felt like a new responsibility has been added to him.

Then he showed them other pictures with Anjali, Armaan and him. They looked like a perfect family.

An old lady enters the living room and Rahul tells her to take Ridhima and Atul to their respective rooms. First she takes Atul to his room and explains where he can find all his accessories. He liked his room. It had a tv and a computer.

Then she takes Ridhima to her room. Ridhima thanks Melissa for showing her room.

Ridhima is awestruck seeing her beautiful room. It was all filled with things that she wanted. Her favorite color was red and her favorite flowers were rose. It looked like whoever arranged the room knew her quite well.

It had a tv and a computer and on top of it, it had a balcony. It was just like the room she'd dreamed about.

Even though it was probably the prettiest room she'd seen so far, she missed her old room a lot. She saw her suitcase and started unpacking her stuff. She took out the big photograph of her family. It was taken during Atul's last visit to their house, 5 year before. They were celebrating his ^18th birthday. Atul and Jay had their hands around Ridhima's shoulder and Muskaan was making horns behind Jay's back while Juhi was pulling her ears. Rahul was holding Juhi by her waist. They looked like the happiest family ever. But now it seemed like a fairy tale. She had no family. She had no one to call mom or dad. To god's mercy she at least had her one brother with her. She finally cried out all the tears that she was holding on for so long.

*****************************************************************************************************************

Part 4

A man slowly tiptoes inside the house. He closes the door slowly, in order not to produce any sound.

He is going towards his room's door when he hears some sound from kitchen. Then he remembers what his best friend had said about the thief who went inside an old lady's house and robbed her.

He thinks," Maybe it is a thief. I should check."

He slowly moves toward the kitchen. He sees someone standing there by the window. He then goes toward the person taking each step one by one. Then at once he catches the person from behind holding him/ her by his/ her waist. Then simultaneously,

The person: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

The man: Chor! Chor! Rahul bhaiya jaldi aayo chor! Chor! There's a thief in the house!

The man put his hand on the person's mouth. The person bites his hand.

The man: Why did u do that for? What the hell!!! Who the hell do you think you are? Stupid, f****, bloody thief.

The person pointing his/ her finger at the man: "Hey you! Mister'.. What the heck do you think u are? I am not a thief and don't you dare use those curse words with me'"

The man who was shouting at the person in front of him was now having a different kind of feelings after hearing the person voice. He felt as if the person is somehow connected to him. He came out of his thoughts when the lights were suddenly switched on.

The man and the person found two pairs of eyes looking at them. Rahul and Atul were standing in the door, looking at the two people in front of them. Rahul had an angry look on his face, while Atul was looking very happy.

Rahul: Armaan ye koi time hai kya ghar aane ki? Do u have any idea what time it is?

(Yes the man was indeed our Armaan! N the person was Ridhima..)

Armaan who was shocked seeing a girl standing in front of him, didn't pay any attention to Rahul's yelling.

Armaan: Holy shit! I thought only man did such things, but now even girls aren't behind doing such low deeds. You guys are so cheap. You can do anything for money'.

Ridhima (Fuming with anger) : Can you just for once stop cursing and for the last time.. I'm not a thief. I came here to drink water coz I was feeling thristy'

Armaan: Oh well well, that was a nice excuse but'

Ridhima: Oh well well every normal people feels thirsty and'

Armaan: What do you mean to say that I'm not normal?

Ridhima: I never said that. You said it yourself.

Armaan: I didn't. I was asking you if you meant to say that. What the h**?

Ridhima: Can't you live without cursing?
Armaan: What? It's not only me who curses. You also curse.

Ridhima: No I don't.

Armaan: Yes you did. "What the heck?" remember?

Ridhima: That's not a curse.

Armaan: Yes it is.

Ridhima: No it's not.

Now it was getting over board. Rahul and Atul who were enjoying their little, cute fight finally decided to end it.

Rahul: Stop it you two. Ridhima (looking at Ridhima) tum aapne kamre main jayo' aur tumhe school bhi toh jana hai na kal'.

Ridhima first looks at armaan, gives him a disgusted look and then looks at the clock.

Ridhima: hey bagwaan.. das baj gaye.. ok Rahul bhai bye main jati hu' bye.. gud nite' both of you (to Rahul and Atul) .

Rahul and Atul: Good night sweet heart.

She goes to her bedroom without saying anything to armaan.

Armaan: Rahul bhai, why did you give her the room next to my room?

Rahul: Tu to mujhse baat hi mat kar. How many times have I told you? But no' you never listen to me.. why does it matter to you right? Why were you so late' ab ja aapne dost ke hi ghar kyau nahi sho jata?

Armaan: Hare' aaisi baat nahi hai. You know na I only party once a week and bhai this is high school and my senior year' If I'll not have fun now then when? And now stop being so dramatic.. You know that I won't cross my limit' anyways you were also like me in ur school days..

Rahul: Ok ok now stop your speech..

Atul who was listening to them finally busted in their conversation.

Atul singing in a dramatic tone: Dost dost nahi rahaa, pyaar pyaar nahi raha' (hitting Armaan's back) oie saale tune mujh ko bhula diya na? main janta tha..

Armaan: Hare nahi bhai' aap kyau ayesa keh rahe ho?

Finally after some more apologies, Atul forgave Armaan and all three of them talked for some time. Armaan told them that Anjai had called him to inform them that she was doing sleep over at her friend's house and will come back next day. Armaan asked Rahul about Ridhima. When Rahul told him that Ridhima was Atul's sister and will be going to the same school with him, Armaan was shocked but later thought that he will be have fun, annoying her.

After some time Armaan went back to his room. He didn't know why but he was really enjoying the little fight he had with Ridhima just a few hours ago. He smiled remembering their little dispute and went to sleep thinking about tomorrow.

***********************************************************************************************************

Part 5

She got up from the bed yawning and stretching her both arms in the air. She went towards the small balcony. She opened the door and the sight in front of her was so beautiful that she stood still while admiring its beauty. The balcony was decorated with flowers everywhere. Some of them were fake while most of them were real. She observed every part of it carefully, and more over the view of the small mountains and forests was just spectacular. There were no words to describe the beauty of that place.

Ridhima was having a different kind of feeling after coming to this country. Even though this place and people were new to her, she felt as if she knew them from way before. She felt as if she's really close to them.

Ridhima is her mind," Kal raat main Armaan se aaise kyau ladhi? Aur uske sath itna dar bhi nahi lag raha tha jyase aur dhusre larko k sath lagta hai. Aakhir kya baat hai usme ki mujhe woh aapna'."

Tring! Tring! Tring! Tring!

She came out of her thoughts hearing the alarm ring.

Ridhima: Hare!(hitting her forehead) Main bhi na saayad alarm rakhke bhool gayi.

She goes towards her room when she realizes that the sound wasn't coming from her room, but from the room right next to her which was also connected to the balcony.

Ridhima: Should I go? Lekin mujhe toh pataa bhi nahi ki woh kiska kamra hai. (again after hearing the alarm sound) Agar nahi gayi toh sab jag jaayange.

She made her way to the door which was unlocked. The room was big like hers. She looked around the room whose walls were decorated with paintings. In the middle wall was a guitar. In one of the side walls, there was a picture of Armaan wearing a business suit and above it was written," The most successful businessman. Every girl's dream boy. "

After seeing the poster Ridhima couldn't control her laugh so she started laughing and without noticing the person sleeping on the bed, she sat on the corner of the huge bed. At first she started laughing but all of a sudden she started crying.

Armaan, who was sleeping soundly, woke up with the sound of Alarm. He saw someone one entering the room. He kept looking at the person. It took him a couple of seconds to see that the person was none other than Ridhima, who in their first meeting had started fighting with him. He remembered the night incident. A smile formed in his lips. Oh oh! This time the smile was rather mischievous. He covered his face with the blanket and decided to wait until she comes near the bed. He was looking at her through the translucent blanket. He saw her looking at his poster which he made using Photoshop. Next thing he knew was, she was laughing. He removed the blanket from his face and was about to give her a surprise (or you can say a heart attack). He was about to shout at her, but suddenly he heard her crying badly.

Armaan patted Ridhima on her shoulder. Instead of being shocked, she hugged him. He didn't know why but seeing her in that state, a sudden pain rushed through his heart.

Armaan: Ridhima. What happen? Why are you crying like this?

Ridhima didn't say anything instead she cried more. Then she realized what she was doing. She pulled out of the hug and looked into his eyes. They were lost in each other's eyes, when the alarm in Ridhima's room began to ring again. Ridhima ran from there.

**************************************************************************************************************

Part 6

Armaan is still confused about what just happened. His eyes then fall on the clock.

Armaan: Oh shit! It's already 6. Oh god now I've got only 45 minutes to get ready.

On the other side, Ridhima returns to her room and stops the alarm. She wipes her tears and says to herself that she has to be strong no matter what. She then looks at the alarm.

Ridhima: hey bagwaan! Chhe baj gaye. Kahi late na ho jau.

She also quickly takes shower, dries her hair and then gets ready.

Ridhima: hey bagwaam, Aaj mera pehela din hai US ki high school main. Please, meri madat karna. Please mujhe taakat dena taki main aacha kar saku.

At the same time, Armaan is feeling weird looking at himself in the mirror.

Armaan: Why am I feeling so weird? I mean I feel like today is something special. Why am I so happy and excited to go to school? I mean I am always happy to go to school but today. Some thing's different today. What is it? Ok dude. I think I'm thinking too much.

Repeating to himself "I'm not gonna think so much," he walked out of the room.

*Bang*

They get out of their room at the same time. As their rooms are right next to each other, they collide with each other.

Ridhima: Ouch!

Armaan: Ah! (Both at the same time)

Armaan: You bloody fool! Can't you see while walking? Or have you gone blind?

Ridhima: What?! You called me fool? If I am fool then you' then you are the biggest fool ever in this whole world. And I don't want to talk to you. (Pointing her finger at him)Listen, this is my first day in school and I don't want to stand with you even for a minute. I want my first day to be perfect and happy without some stupid people around. So don't come near me.

Armaan's mouth was wide open. No girl in his whole life had talked to him like that. Every girl he met so far would fall for his charms. He didn't go to them. In fact they were always trying some techniques to get closer to him. He was about to answer her back when she just walked past him.

Armaan: So much attitude! Well 'miss Ridhima you've gotta learn a lesson and me, Armaan Mallik will make sure of it.

In his mind: But I've gotta agree that she is probably the most beautiful girl I've seen so far. I mean there are many girls who look better than her, but they use lot of makeup. I wonder how they look without any makeup, but look at her she's just natural beauty. Man'. Look at her green eyes and her lips .. they're just so perfect. (hitting his head) What're you thinking dude? Girls fall you. You don't fall for them.

Armaan: Oh shoot! I have to go now otherwise I'll be late.

He's about to leave the house when Rahul stops him and tells him to take Ridhima with him.

Ridhima: Nahi Rahul bhai, iski koi jarurat nahi hai' Main chali jaaungi.

Rahul: Tum chup karo. Kyase jayegi? Na toh tujhe bus ka direction pataa hai nahi train ka. Aur train bhi kitna confusing hai. Aur toh aur, yeah country side hai aghar akeli jhaaogi toh, kamse kam 15 min hidna padega aur yeha maine kisiko road pai hidte huaa toh nahi dekha.

Rahul was blabbering non-stop when Atul finally butted in.

Atul- Hare' bas kar yaar. Ridhzi jaayegi Armaan ke saat. Ab thik hai?

Ridhima couldn't say no to them, so just followed Armaan behind his back.

They reach the car and Armaan goes to the driver's seat. He sees Ridhima standing with fear written all over her face. Armaan smiles looking at her standing there like a statue.

Armaan: oie! Get in the car fast. We're already late.

Ridhima didn't have any choice but to get inside the car. She was about to open the door of the passenger seat, when Armaan stopped her saying," Do I look like a driver to you? Come and sit here in the front." Ridhima was about to argue when Armaan just pulled her and made her sit in the front.

Armaan: No more arguing.

Then he started the car. Ridhima was quite and viewing the building outside (they had already crossed the country side). Armaan from the corner of his eyes saw the sadness in her face.

Armaan: What are you thinking? You look sad. Missing home?

Ridhima: (Ridhima was lost deep in her thoughts.) I wish I had something to miss or someone to miss. I'm all alone. No one's there for me. (She realized what she just said and in order to change the topic, putting a fake smile on her face.) I saw the poster in your room. So you think you can be a successful businessman and every girl's dream man?

Armaan: (smiling) Oh yeah. It's kinda my dream. You know like planning. And the second part, it's true. I mean I don't have to work for it.

Ridhima: And may I know why's that ? (her eye brows raised)

Armaan: (showing his dimples) you'll see every girl in school is crazy about me. By the way did Rahul bahi tell you that you're in my school.

Armaan saw the expression on her face. Ridhima was shocked. Then she thought maybe he's lying.

Ridhima: You're lying right? Right?

She looked as if she was begging.

Armaan: Nope. You know I'm so happy that you're in my school.

Ridhima was shocked to hear it and covered her face with her hands. Her face color was red.

Armaan: (laughing) Tell me one thing. Your face, is that color because of blushing or'..

Ridhima: (Her face turning more red) Why would I blush?

Armaan: You know because I said I'm happy that'

Ridhima: Ah ha! Don't you try act smart with me. I know why you're so happy. Cause you can annoy me more right? I know you very well'..

Armaan: Wow miss! You know me so well? I thought we just met yesterday. That too when I caught you stealing in my house.

Ridhima: (Her mouth wide open) You called me miss?! I am not miss ok! And I wasn't stealing' how many times do I have to tell you'..

Armaan: Ok ok' chill can't even take a joke. Seriously man.. you've got no sense of humor. Ok now get off my baby.

He had stopped the car. Ridhima without giving Armaan a second glance went towards the school gate.

All eyes were fixed on her. Or you can say all guys' eyes. She felt little uncomfortable with the attention she was getting from these strangers.

Armaan thought, "Oh my my, there's one more person added in school's popular list. I wonder why was she crying this morning' man you are thinking too much of this chick'"

He parked his car and then started walking towards the school's entrance when a skinny girl came up to him and gave him a tight hug. He hugged her back.

Armaan- "Hey Nikki! What's up? Didn't see you for 2 days but feels like a whole week."

Nikki ' " awww'I missed you too."

Then she kissed him on his lips. Ridhima, who was about to enter through the main door stopped, as she forgot her book bag in the car. She turned around and saw the most disgusting scene she has ever seen in her whole life. A skinny girl was kissing Armaan. She thought how can anyone be so sameless.

But she has to be on time to her class. She can't wait for them to stop. So she went towards them and said politely, "Excuse me." Her small polite voice didn't seem to have any effect, so she said it bit loudly, " Excuse me.." No response.. Armaan who had noticed her decided to ignore her as he was enjoying irritating her. She pated Armaan on his shoulder, he decided to give up and said in an annoyed tone, "Yes miss, how can I help you?"

Ridhima- " Sorry to disturb both of your moment, but actually I forgot my book bag in the car. "

Nikki who was mad at Ridhima till now, got more mad at Armaan and gave him a deadly look.

Armaan to Nikki- "She's not what you think.. I mean she's my brother's friend's sister.. n right now living with us, so I have to drop her to school every day from now onwards..that's it' nothing more. Wait I'll get it for you."

Nikki looked little relieved. When Armaan went to get Ridhima's book bag, she turned to Ridhima and said, "Hi I'm Nikki, the hottest and most popular girl in this whole school. Your accent says you are new to this country. So, basically you don't know that much about here. Take one of my suggestions. Don't ever lay your eyes on my boy friend, if you want to spend rest of the year peacefully."

Ridhima who was listening to her with not-interested look thought- "Why is she giving me this long lecture? Why in the whole world, would I be interested in that Bandar even though he does look good. But he's so annoying."

When Nikki was done, Armaan also came with Ridhima book bag.

Armaan- "Here you go. (cutting ridhima in between) you are most welcome."

Ridhima ' (looking at Armaan) Thanks (then turning to Nikki) thanks to you too for your useful suggestion but believe me I'm not interested, as I judge people by their acts, rather than their looks.

She then went away. Armaan who was confused looked at Nikki who just told him, "Nothing important. Let's go. We are already late."

************************************************************************************************************

Part 7

First day of school wasn't that bad except for the morning incident with Miss-Popularity, Nikita. Ridhima in her whole life had never thought that people can be so shameless. After she witnessed "the passionate (or she would rather describe it as disgusting, shameless and all the other bad words that she could think of) kiss between Armaan Mallik and Nikkita Malhotra.

Ridhima came out to her small balcony. Oh' What a beautiful night it was! The dark sky was decorated with millions of stars twinkling in the sky like hundreds and thousands of fireflies. A flashback of her past hit her as she stared at those stars. Every night whenever she was restless, her brother, Jay used to come to her and together they would stay outside trying to make patterns with the help of constellations.

She wished she could bring those days back, but she knew that neither her past nor the memories can return. She returned back to her room and saw her dairy, which was gifted to her by Jay on her 16^th Birthday. She looked at the dairy and a smiled formed on her lips.

She had stopped writing on it since the day she had lost her brother. At that time, she didn't have the strength to pure her feelings even on the piece of paper. She was afraid that remembering her past will weaken her, but now when there's no pain bigger than what she has gone through, she is not afraid of facing her past again. She looks at the other dairy right next to her, which Atul gave to her today as her belated-birthday present. So, now the journey of Ridhima's love and life can begin again on the pages of "Her New Dairy," where she'll let the world know the true "Definition of love."

21^st September, 2004

Monday,

Hi,

By now anyone who is reading this diary might have figured out that it belongs to me, Ridhima Gupta. I know my name might sound a little weird, but it's my name and I love it as it was given to me by the two most wonderful people on this earth, who once used to take care of me as my parents, but right now they are far away from me and live in the house of god. I miss them a lot, but I know that wherever they are, they are happy with each other. So, I have decided I will rejoice every moment of my life for I am well aware that it is blessed by them, my family.

Therefore, from today I will start the story of my new life in these fresh pages of "My New Diary." Well 'I am different from all other people I've met so far. It doesn't mean I am someone special who has got some special powers or something like that, but I am different from others because'. I don't know who I am? What's my aim? I don't know anything about me. I don't even know what I like and dislike, but'. But, I do know that I'm here for some reason.

Once my brother used to tell me, "A life without ambition is like a boat on a dry land." He told me he took the quote from the movie," The Next Karate Kid." So, does that mean my life is also like the boat? I wish I could ask my brother but, he's not with me and I pity him that he killed himself. I don't feel sorry for him, or I don't feel sad for him, but I feel bad for my parents who had to go through such pain because of their son. Even though I don't like what he did, I do love him from the bottom of my heart.

Anyways that was my past. I can't forget my past but I've decided I won't let it weaken my strength. So, I'll start with first day in High School. Oops! I mean "American High School."

So, my first experience wasn't that good, as I met "the hottest and most popular girl of the whole school." What was her name? Oh ya Nikkita Malhotra, Mr. Armaan's girl friend. You know what, they look nice as couple, because they suit each other. Both of them have same qualities. No, no'.By qualities I don't mean good ones of course. You know arrogant, narcissistic, stubborn, and shameless.... But there's one thing. I mean I know it's kind of weird feeling, but I didn't like it even a bit when I saw that shameless wh**e kissing Armaan. I don't know why but somewhere deep down I feel he is a nice guy. Ok I don't want to ruin my mood writing about them.

Even though the starting wasn't that good, rest of the day went well. The first thing I got to see was AN (armaan and nikki) kissing, but guess what? It's considered normal here. No matter wherever I go, I see the same scene. I wonder how anyone can stick together (physically) like that. That doesn't mean there aren't any humble people. I made many new friends like Glen, Terence, Reina, and Elisha.

It's so different here. I tell you' by god (lol nupur's dialogue) you can find people from all over the world. Reina, she was born here, but her dad is from Japan and her mom is from Spain. I know it's kinda weird combination but it's kinda cool too.

I noticed one thing about my friends. They don't care what other people think about them. They just do whatever they want to, dress the way they like to, and more over their group is unbreakable. Armaan dropped me home today as Rahul bhai had ordered him and again I couldn't say no to him. On our way back home, he looked disturbed, and for some reason I didn't like it.

I couldn't stop myself from asking him if he is alright. He just gave me a small smile assuring me that it's nothing to worry about. The words that came out of his mouth later made me feel bad for him. He said, "Remember the girl who was kissing me this morning? (I nodded my head in yes) Ya'.. you see she is' I mean she was my girl friend, but now we broke up."

I- (I didn't know what to say) Ummm'. I'm sorry..

Armaan- "Hey it's ok' Anyways surprisingly she lasted longer than I though."

(I wondered how long was that)

I- oh.. But I hope you're alright. I mean..

Armaan- (giving a little smile with dimples) Hey it's normal. I mean I'm used to it. You know people come to your life and go away.

I- How long did she last?

Armaan- I guess about a week

I- (my my' I shouldn't be surprised at all.) I had guessed.

Armaan- (I could feel him coming back to his normal self) Oh by the way' I know your secret.

I- What secret? (I was really confuse)

Armaan- You know (he acted as if he was too shy to say it loud)'

I- No I don't

Armaan- I feel shy... I can't say it...

I- Well'. You can say it'you don't have to feel shy with me..

Armaan- I know that you like me. (At that time I felt like if only I could kill this annoying, good for nothing guy)

I- Why would I like you of all the guys in this whole world? Arg'. And anyways what makes you think that???!! ( I was literally screaming at him.)

Armaan- Then why were you crying seeing my picture?

I- Oh that' well that's because my brother used to make that kind of funny pictures using Photoshop. So when I saw your picture, that reminded me of my brother.

Armaan- Oh where is he right now?

We had reached home. I came out of the car, went to the other side of car where he was sitting, and pointed my finger to the sky. I hear Armaan calling me. I think he came here to say sorry. He is not that bad after all. Ok got to go. Will continue soon.

She opened the door. Armaan was standing there wearing his shorts with a red t-shirt hugging his body.

Armaan- "Ridhima.. " He looked worried and clueless of what to say. Ridhima understood his emotions and said, "It's ok Armaan. You didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but believe me I am not hurt. That was my past. I want to forget it. Anyways, is it the only reason you came to my room?"

Armaan- " Oh ya' almost forgot' Anji di has returned and she wants to meet you. By the way do you know about Atul bhai and Anji di?"

Ridhima- "You mean'. (making a sign of love with her hand)?"

Armaan nodded his head in yes.

Armaan- "I think we should help Atul bhai. He is too shy. What say? Wanna help?"

Ridhima- "Okay. But i wanna make one thing clear. I'm helping you for Atul bhai nothing more."

Armaan- "Ya whatever.. jus admit it.. you wanna get closer to me.."

Ridhima was again turning red. Armaan couldn't help himself from saying, "Awww' the wild cat is blushing."

Ridhima was now fuming with anger. "What? I don't like you and I'm not blushing (she screamed it in his ear) You called me wild cat' I'm not gonna leave you now.. Mr. Armaan run for your life."

Armaan ran downstair while yelling, "Missy, I was just playing with you. Oh god' this wild cat will kill me."

He ran up to Atul. Ridhima stopped seeing Atul infront of her.

Atul- "Ridhima what happened? Why are you chasing him?"

They hear a voice from behind,"Oh so you are Ridhima. Have been waiting to see you."

Atul- " Ya this is Ridhima my sister, and Ridhima meet my'..umm'. friend, Anjali."
***********************************************************************************************************

Anjali and Ridhima were introduced to each other by Atul. The little conservation they shared made Ridhima realize that Anjali was really a nice human being and she felt a connection towards her. Anjali told her to call her elder sister (di). Ridhima was overwhelmed with joy for having such nice people in her life.

She couldn't sleep because of the jet-lag, so decided to get some fresh air. There was someone standing in the balcony. It didn't take her long to figure out that it was none other than Armaan. She remembered his room is right next to hers and the balcony is connected to both rooms. She just went towards him.

Ridhima - (Putting her hand on his shoulder) what happen? Why are you out so late?

Armaan - (who was busy thinking, got startled and gasped) oh it's you. You startled me.

Ridhima- I'm sorry.

Armaan- It's ok.

Ridhima- By the way, what were you thinking?

Armaan- Why do you wanna know? Don't worry you don't have any chance with me.

Ridhima- Arg'.. You can never change. I don't know why I even bother.

Ridhima fuming with anger, started to walk when she felt his hand grabbing her wrist and motioning her to stay there with him.

Armaan ' I was just joking.

Ridhima- Well... it wasn't funny.

Armaan smiled at her and said, "I'm sorry." Ridhima was surprised that the arrogant bandhar was saying sorry to her. That means something is definitely wrong. She wouldn't believe him but for some reason seeing his weak smile made her worried.

Atul was restless after meeting Anjali this morning. He wanted to know if she felt the same for him as he did about her, but he was afraid and confuse. They were too formal with each other. The Anjali that he used to love was some different person. She didn't have the glow in her face. Her eyes reflected pain. She still had the same characteristics. She was still a kind human being but he felt as if she was putting on some mask.

When he saw Anjali after such a long time, he just wanted to hug her and tell her how much he missed her, but he controlled his emotions and just said hi. "But I think she is in some problem. I should talk to her," thinking this in his mind he proceeded toward Anjali's room.

He knocked on the door for some time. When no one answered he was just turning around to leave when Anjali came in front of him and said, "Hi Atul! Ummm' What were you doing in front of room? Need something?"

Atul ' "I wanted to talk to you."

Anjali ' "Ok... let's first go inside and then talk."

Anjali kept her books on the bookshelf and turned to Atul, waiting for him to start the conversation.

Atul ' "Where were you? I was knocking on your door for a long time."

Anjali- "Oh sorry for that, I was studying in the study room. Anyways'.. what is that you wanted to talk to me about?"

Atul ' "Ummm' nothing actually was just bored so came to spend some time with you. I mean you know like a friend, if you don't mind."

Anjali- "Ofcourse I won't mind. You have always been my best friend and will always be. You don't need to be formal with me."

Atul ' "But why were you acting to formal downstairs when Armaan and Ridhima came to meet you."

Anjali ' "Oh that'. That's because I was feeling kind of awkward. I mean haven't seen you for such long years and you went to Canada. I thought maybe you wouldn't like me being so bubbly or nosy about your personal life. I thought you changed, but now I know I was wrong."

Atul smiled at her, and she continued ' "You are still the same, my best buddy who always cares about me."

Atul thought it was the right time to confess his love to her. He has wasted a lot of time, but now he can't wait any longer.

He holded her hand and said, "Anjali, can't we be more than just best friends?"

Anjali got tears in her eyes. She didn't know what to say, not because she didn't know about Atul liking her; but because she knew he deserved much better than her. He didn't know about her past, if he would than he will hate her and leave her just like all others.

It hurt him seeing her cry like that.

Atul- "It's ok Anji. I understand. If you don't want to move this relationship any further, I won't force you. But remember Anji, I am always there for you. We will still remain best friends."

She just looked down and saw Atul closing the door. She thought, "You have always been there for me Atul, but I don't deserve such a great guy like you. I am not good for you Atul."

28^th October, 2004

Wednesday,

I am writing again after a month. I know it's a long time, but lots of things happened after the night I talked to Armaan. That was the same night I started my new dairy and my new life in High School. So what actually happened was, I saw Armaan outside the balcony and went to him. I asked him what is he doing out so night.

At first he was teasing me (as you know some people can never change) but then when I was about to leave he stopped me by holding my wrist. His touch was like an electric shock, but in an amazing way I didn't feel uncomfortable. In fact it was pleasant. Okay now don't get me wrong but come on, doesn't that happen with everyone?! Alright maybe it was only me. Anyways let's not talk about it.

So he told me to stay there with him. He looked up at the empty dark sky and said, "Why is the sky so empty today, just like my life?"

I was feeling really weird. I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to answer his question or he was just saying it like that? So, I just kept quiet.

He continued," Don't you feel lonely Ridhima?"

I- "No. I have you by my side. Why should I feel lonely?"

He turned to me and looked into my eyes as if he was trying to read what's hidden underneath. I couldn't blink my eyes, but finally I was able to break, "The staring section." I tell you it took me lot of effort.

He told me the real reason for his depression.

"You know, I've been with so many girls but for some reason I feel so incomplete, like a big part is missing. Don't you feel that way?"

The sincerity that I could see in his eyes made me smile unknowingly. I looked at the sky and said, "To be honest, I don't know how it feels to feel yourself being lonely because I've never felt that way. You know why? Because I think you should be happy with what we have. If you expect for more, you will end up being disappointed or wanting for more. And about those girls, people come and go in your life. Maybe they weren't the one made for you. Maybe there is someone special for you."

He looked at me surprised by what I said. He said, "I never thought that you think so deeply."

I smiled at him and said, "Me neither."

Well after that day we have become friends. Rahul bhai and Atul bhai take me as their own sister and so does Anji di.

Anjali di is also nice but something tells me she is hiding something. Atul bhai has been acting little weird these days. He doesn't really talk that much but in front of Anji di pretends as if everything is fine. I and Armaan have planned to find out what's the problem.

***********************************************************************************

Part 9

"Bye Anji di, Atul bhai, and Rahul bhai oh ya and Jigesh bhai (their house servant) too' bye' have a great day!" yelled Ridhima bidding good bye to everyone while Armaan was waiting for her at the time shaking his head in disapproval with a frown. She was confused by his act and asked, "What's wrong? Why are you shaking your head like that?"

He gave a sarcastic smile and said, "Well your highness, you are taking forever and with the speed you were moving, we will be late (Increasing his volume) you get it? So come fast!"

Ridhima little startled, cursing him for his arrogance under her breathe, rushed inside the car.

Ridhima- "I was just saying bye to everyone you know."

Armaan- "So how long does it take to say bye to everyone? You could have said bye everyone. Didn't have to yell out every single person's name in the house you know.(mocking Ridhima)"

Ridhima- "Oh God! Why are you making such a big issue out of this?"

Armaan- "This issue you are talking about is also my issue as it is related to my main issue which is to get to school on time or else my Spanish or shall I say, the Spanish bitch who always likes creating issues out of my issues will make a big issue if I don't get there in time. As you see, I have been troubled by so many issues in past that I can't take any more issues. (Yelling on top of his voice) Understood?"

Ridhima- "Calm down dude! Why you being so cranky, and that too early in the morning? Your day isn't good, doesn't mean have to ruin my day too. (Stopping Armaan in middle as she saw him open his mouth) Anyways'. Did you finish the Math project? You know it's due today, right?"

Armaan- "Oh shoot! I completely forgot about it."

He made a puppy face and looked at her.

She sighed and thought," Why can't I ever say no to him?"

Ridhima-"Okay okay' stop giving me that look. I knew it, you would never do it. I did it for you. Happy?"

Armaan just smiled at her and said, "That's the reason you are my best buddy." Then he gave her a little slap on her shoulder.

If it was some other girl, he would have kissed them on their cheeks or hugged them or he would just say," I love you!" But it was different with Ridhima. He knew that she didn't like that kind of stuff. He was still confused why he cared about her so much, but being the cool dude he decided to ignore that feeling.

This past month they had come really close to each other. Both of them had some feelings for each other, but they ignored those feelings for their own reasons.

Finally, they reached the school. Ridhima who was waiting for Armaan who had gone to park the car, saw three skinny girls coming her way. Ridhima tried her best to ignore them, but the heavy makeup and their dressing style (from top to bottom bright pink) was making it impossible for her to do so.

The girl in front of the other two came near her and said," Hi I'm Ashley!." Ridhima was about to introduce herself when Ashley cut her and said," I know you don't have to tell me. The whole school knows you just the way they all know me. By the way coming to the point, I came here to invite you to my Birthday party."

Ridhima- "Oh, Happy birthday!"

Ashley- "Thanks! So you are coming right?" (with pleasing tone)

10^th November, 2004

Thursday

Omg! You know what happened today. I was like standing there alone as Armaan had gone to park the car and this girl along with her two bodyguards or should I say parrots came to me to invite for her birthday party.

Ewww'.. I sound like that Ashley now. At first when she came to me to invite to her party, I was happy thinking that no matter how evil she looks from outside, she is not that bad as a person, but my judgment changed about her when Armaan came back.

When she saw Armaan coming towards me, she almost ran to him and said, " Armaan' You are coming to my party right? Please don't say no. See even Ridhima is coming." (Armaan being armaan said yes)

So I knew by then, this girl is up to something bad. Anyone could have figured it out after she gave me her evil grin and bid good bye. At that time I was only suspicious, but I was sure when Nikita came to me and said," Ridhima I heard Ashley talking to someone on phone. I also know that she has invited you to her party. Please believe me she's not a good girl. Don't go to the party." She left with Abhimanyu (who gave me a little sweet smile of assurance) after saying that.

Nikki has changed a lot after she started going out with Abhi. You must have already figured out by now as from "Nikita Malhotra," she has changed to Nikki. Abhi and I have now become close friends, not like Armaan but still close. Armaan doesn't like Abhi that much. You know guys and their ago problem.

Even the teachers, who used to give warnings, have started giving her extra credit for doing extra work. Seriously, love does change a person.

Well after Nikki told me not to go to the party, I was sure that Ashley was up to something bad and I had to stop Armaan from going there too.

Armaan and I have lunch together. I mean we don't sit together but have lunch in the same period. We sit in different tables.

After swiping my card, I went inside to get lunch. Armaan was right behind me, so taking this chance, I said, "Armaan, I have to talk to you about something. Can you meet me outside the cafeteria once you're done?"

Armaan-" But why?"

Ridhima- "Just come."

We met outside the cafeteria and directly coming to the point I said," Armaan, you should not go to the party. You know Ashley, I think she's gonna do something really bad."

Armaan-" But why would she do that? And what makes you think that she's up to something bad?"

Ridhima- "I don't know. How would I know? Wait'. did you once date Ashley?"

Armaan- "Yeah in junior year, but she was so boring, always talking about herself. So I dumped her. It wasn't a big deal for me as I've done that with so many, but for her maybe it was as I think it was her first time that a guy dumped her and that too, in front of the whole school."

I am really confused about what to do next. I think I will have to go to that party, but have to be extra careful. I have a feeling something really bad is about to happen tomorrow night.

*************************************************************************************************************

Part 10

The party was on full swing. High School couples were literally sticking to each other. Loud music filled the room. Seeing a drunken guy coming toward her, she closed her eyes and clenched her fists together.

She opened her eyes to find the drunken guy walking away with a girl to a room nearby. Feeling disgusted she turned around only to collide with a tall figure in front of her. "Hey! What's wrong?" asked Armaan seeing her pale face.

Ridhima: I'm sorry. I was just'' I was'.. Umm'.. "

Armaan: You were just disgusted to see these many people making out. What do you expect in high school parties?

Ridhima: But you can be more decent you know. I mean having fun doesn't always mean having sex.

Armaan: I agree with you but, in real life people won't understand. For them pleasure is everything.

Ridhima: But what's the meaning of such pleasure which can sometimes destroy someone's life?

Armaan: Well'. I don't know what to say about that. Maybe people can't control their desire, their feelings.

They were interrupted by Ashley who came towards Armaan and hugged him.

Ashley: Oh my god, Armaan! I'm so happy you came.

Then she turned to Ridhima and waving her hadn said, "Hi Ridhima! So nice to see you! Thanks for coming."

Ridhima: My pleasure (giving her sweet smile)

Ridhima in her mind: Where are her two parrots? Today also she is dressed in all bright and too girlish clothes. And she is just covering her upper part. Oh god! Look at her short. It's so short. I bet she is enjoying all the attention, she is getting from all those pervert guys. Oh but poor girl, the person she wants to impress is looking at someone else. Wait' where is he looking?

She follows Armaan's gaze and sees Nikki with Abbhi. For some reason unknown to her, she was feeling jealous, but it soon faded away as she saw Armaan smiling and waving at them.

Armaan: So Ashley,don't you wanna see your gift?

Ashley jumping up and down with excitement said, "Yes show me my gift. Please'"

Armaan chuckling, "Here."

Ashley quickly opened the gift and it was a golden bracelet with Ashley's name on top. Ashley immediately hugged Armaan and wore the bracelet. Ridhima gave her gift to Ashley.

Armaan, Elina and Jesley (Ashley's parrots) all gathered around to see what the gift was. It was a big box wrapped with glittering paper. Ashley curious to know what might be in the box opened it rather harshly only to find a panti and a bra.

Ridhima was shocked beyond limit, while Armaan was suppressing his laugh. Ashley fuming with anger, said," Is this some kind of joke!"

Ridhima didn't know what to say. She was really embarrassed.

Ridhima: I'm sorry Ashley. I didn't mean to, I told the shopkeeper to wrap my gift. Maybe he switched it with the other lady. She had bought this not me. I wasn't looking when he wrapped it. But you know it's not that bad, you could still use it.

She was talking so fast that she didn't realize what she was saying.

Ashley: What!

Ridhima: No. I mean. Oh! What am I saying! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that'

Ashley: Leave it

Then Ashley and her parrots walked away to greet other people. Once they were gone, Armaan came in front of Ridhima and started laughing out loud, holding his stomach.

Armaan: Ha ha ha ha'. Oh my god! Underwear? You are so funny.

Ridhima turned crimson red and lowered her eyes.

"I didn't mean to'"

Seeing Armaan still laughing, she smacked him hard in his stomach.

Ridhima: Stop laughing like a maniac.

(Armaan holding his belly) "Oh my god! You are one powerful woman! It hurts seriously.

She feels sorry and touching his shoulders while he is bending down still holding his belly, asks," Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean hit you so hard. Are you okay?"

Armaan pretending as if it hurted a lot, while the truth was it didn't hurt at all.

"Do I look okay to you?" he gave out a sarcastic smile.

He watched her cheeks go red again.

Ridhima: I am so stupid!

Armaan: Yes, you are.

Ridhima: What!

Armaan: What?

Ridhima: Did you say something?

Armaan: Did you say something?

Ridhima: Armaan!

Armaan: Yes, Ridhima?

Ridhima: Armaan!

Armaan: Ridhima'

Ridhima: Armaan?

Armaan: Yes, Ridhima. I know my name is Armaan. Tell me something I don't know.

Ridhima hit her forehead wit frustration which unfortunately was quite hard.

Armaan: Ouch!

Ridhima: Ouch!

Armaan started laughing again, saying "I thought you hit only me but you hit yourself too."

Ridhima giving him and angry look, was walking away when she turned around only to collide with a column.

Ridhima: Ow! Ow! It hurts.

She starts crying.

Ridhima: My legs' I can't stand. They are hurting so badly.

Armaan who was laughing till now, seeing Ridhima hurt got serious and hurried to her. He tried to her when she stopped him.

Ridhima: Thanks! I don't need your help. It's all your fault.

Armaan: Wow girl! I am trying to help you and you? It's your wish.

She tries to get up but falls again. Armaan who was about to walk by her stops seeing her not being able to get up by herself.

Armaan: Missi! Listen to me. Let me help you.

Seeing Ridhima refusing to take his hand, he forcefully, grabbed her hand and pulled her up holding her other shoulder.

Ridhima feeling the pain in her foot closed her eyes. Armaan just stared at her face. "How can anyone look so pure and innocent?" thought Armaan.

Making her sit on the chair nearby, he sits on the chair next to it.

Armaan: Want something?

Ridhima: No, thanks!

Armaan: You know sometimes, you can keep your attitude aside and feel the beauty of life. Enjoy your life. Smiling keeps you and your mind fresh.

Shaking his head, he went away.

29^th December, 2004

Friday

I am writing to you after a month again. Last time I stopped after telling you about Ashley's invitation. As they say haste makes wastes, my decision of going to the party was a big mistake but maybe if hadn't gone then I wouldn't know the truth.

That night at 8pm I went to the party with Armaan. I had never worn any dress so short like that but Anji di gave it to me and I couldn't say no to her. Armaan gave Ashley a golden watch, as for me I gave her underwear and a bra by mistake. I was embarrassed beyond limit and Armaan made fun of me.

Ashley was trying her label best to bring Armaan's attention towards her, but all her attempts went in vain. He was busy chatting with other friends and doing his daily business; business of flirting with women. Last time I saw him with Nikki, as it turned out they broke up within a week (and that was his longest relationship so far).

I felt pity on him from that day, seeing his sad face in their breakup night. But hey! This is "The Armaan Mallik" who never takes anything seriously. I thought we had become friends after that night. But I was so wrong!

On the night of Ashley's birthday party, he made a new girlfriend. That day at the beginning of the party, when I talked to him, I thought he wasn't like other guys for whom all that mattered was outside beauty. But again he proved me wrong!

I still remember when he said," You know sometimes, you can keep your attitude aside and feel the beauty of life. Enjoy your life. Smiling keeps you and your mind fresh." Agreeing with him was the biggest mistake. I knew that if I smile, then I will have to cry, but I listened to my stupid heart.

I got involved in the party. I was dancing around with some of the friends I knew from our High School. Armaan was amused to see me dancing so freely and that too with smile on my lips. I was walking by when I heard him talk to Ashley.

I remember every single word he said to her'.

Armaan: "Are you crazy? Me and her? It's next to impossible. I mean I have my class yo! I'm not gonna run after some chick just cause she looks nice. And anyways she just living in my house. Nothing more.

Ashley: But you guys are best friends, aren't you?

Armaan: What the hell! Who the f**** told you that?

Ashley: Brian told me about you guys being best friends. Or should I say more than friends. He was like, "You know that new girl Ridhima, she and Armaan are seeing each other."

Armaan: what! Ok the actual thing is' I had this bet with Brian that I will make her fall for me. So, I thought it would be easier if I start with friendship. Anyways I was gonna dump her later.

Ashley: I get that part, but didn't you go extreme. I mean telling me to act this way. Pretend as if I am interested in you. Lying to her. Why did you tell her that you and me were going out last year when we were not.

Armaan: I had to. You know, I mean these Indian girls, they are too emotional. I pretended as if I am sad because of my breakup with Nikki. And you know me well. The word "sad" is not in my dictionary. She thought I was sad and I started being nice to her and stuff. SO ya' that's the story.

(Tears flowing down through her eyes fell on her diary. Wiping those tears away from her eyes and from her book she started writing again.)

How can he do this to me? And me fool was starting to think he likes me and I have started liking. Now that I realize, I had started love him. But my love'. I came to know it was all fake by the time I realized it. Why Armaan? Why did you do this to me? What had I done deserve such punishment?

She closed the dairy and looked outside the balcony.

Walking towards the balcony, she thought "I will never go in that balcony. No matter how many times I deny to myself, I know I love you but at the same time, I hate you now. You were the one who made me smile again but you are the one who took that away from me. You were the one, who made be believe in love again, but you were the one who broke that believe; that trust. I will still love you Armaan, the more I hate you, the more I will fall in love with you. "

Remembering their first meeting in the kitchen, she continued her chain of thoughts," Our first meeting was our first fight. That day, in that dark room, I saw a light when felt your hand around my waist. I never thought that I would feel so strong about you. You made these 3 months heaven for me, just to make my life hell! But you know what Armaan Mallik, I will not become weak."

Wiping her tears away she said it loud to herself, "I will not take revenge or anything, because unlike you I don't hurt people and mainly the people I love. I will not forget you Armaan and my love for you, but I will make your betrayal, my strength. Even in my love there's a hate for you. You hurt the person who was already hurt. "

Looking towards the stars, "Ma, aap hi kehti thi na ki mere liye bhi kohi aayega jo meri jindaghi ko kubsurat bhana dega, par ma main kya karu agar ohi mujh se sabse jhyada nafrat karta hai."

She went towards her cupboard and taking the dairy that Jay had gifted her holded it near her heart and said, "What should I do bhaiya? I need you bhaiya. Wapas aajao bhaiya. I miss you a lot. Mujhe aapki jarurat hai bhaiya.. Please mujhe rasta dekhao."

She was about to put the diary back on the cupboard when a letter fell down from it and landed on the floor. Picking the letter in the hand, she read the words in the cover which said, "Letter to Ridhima form Jay."

*********************************************************************************************************

Part 11

"A letter from Jay bhai? How did it get here?" thinking this she unfolded the letter.

My dearest sister,

By the time you get this letter, it might be too late. I might not be with you. After the decision I have taken, you and our ma and pa may never forgive me. The world might take me as a coward man and I know I am. I have decided to end my life here.

I used to take life as a game. Except our family and my close friends, no one meant anything to me. I had so many girlfriends but never took anyone of them seriously but everything started changing when I met her.

It is said that everyone has some special person in his/ her life. That special person in my life was Sakuntala. She was a simple, shy girl and freshmen in our college while I was a second year student.

She was not my type but I don't know how but I started falling for her. We became friends in the Valentine's Day party in college. As days passed by, we started getting closer. Our friendship was now changing its color. The color was so deep that soon it turned into deep red, color of love.

She changed my life completely. Her presence in my life, made me feel complete. She taught me how to live life rather than to play with it. She turned my life into heaven. Everything in life started to look so beautiful.

On the anniversary of the day we officially became friends, I decided to propose her. I knew that she liked me too so I was happy dreaming about our future together. There were no barriers. Her parents admired me and her brother even knew about us.

I can never forget that day. I had everything arranged. I bought her favorite chocolates and red roses (her favorite). I saw her entering the gates to college. I saw her coming towards me with a smile on her lips. I opened my arms for her to hug me but she passed by me and hugged another guy.

I was heart broke that day. I felt betrayed. All along I thought I liked me and she went with other guy. She got close to me and left me all alone.

After that day she started ignoring me. I was confused. Shouldn't I be the one avoiding her? I stopped talking to her completely. Sometimes our eyes would meet walking on the hallways. I could see the pain in her eyes but always avoided them thinking maybe it's just my feeling.

Once again everything started changing in my life, after papa's accident. I never thought life could take so many turns. I had to drop out of college because papa had lost his right hand. Not even a single office would take me. My dream to go to Harvard in America all became a dream forever, as I had to use all the money from my savings to pay the bills for electricity and other appliances.

I was loaded with responsibilities and on top of it came the large bang. Two weeks before now, I got a call from Sumit, Shakuntala's brother. He told me Shakuntala is admitted in the city hospital. I, at once rushed to hospital only to find her dead body lying on the bed so lifeless.

I looked at Sumit for answer and he hugged me telling me the reason for her death. Shakuntala had lung cancer and she found out about it on her birthday, the day I was going to propose her. She knew that I loved her and was going to propose her. She loved me too but she couldn't let me destroy my life for her, so she pretended to dump me and go with other guy. The other guy was her cousin. She did all this so I would hate her but she didn't know that no matter how hard I tried I could never hate her.

Sumit gave me a small statue of a cupid with a love sign on it and an arrow. He told me that she said to give it to me and also to tell me to be strong. She said that whenever I feel alone or I feel like I need someone to hold me, calm me down, I should hold this cupid in my hand and just listen to my heart beats.

I had started to take life little easily but then again the crisis for money drowned me in the pool of loneliness but I had the cupid that always gave me strength. The fact that it represented our love, made me feel happy. We were heavy with loan. I had to borrow some money from my friends but I didn't have enough money. If I would pay them, then there would be no money left for us to survive.

I couldn't see any way out. I felt so trapped. The first person who came to my mind was Atul but he was struggling with his own fees for college. Then I thought about our grandparents. Dad was an orphan and mom's parents' well we haven't even met them in person, just seen their pictures. We knew she had a father, a mother and a brother who disowned her just because she didn't marry the guy who they chose for her and married our dad who she loved.

The only person who came to my mind at that time was Shasank Uncle. I knew that if Atul knew about this he will be really mad at me but I had no other option left. I went to his office. He had an urgent operation to conduct. I was waiting for him in his office when I saw a photo frame in his office. It was the same picture that mom had hanged on the wall of our living room. It was a picture of our grandparents with mom and her brother (our uncle) as little children.

Another big shock came to me as I understood that Shasank Uncle was our real uncle and Atul our cousin. He had never met our parents, so he is still unaware of us being his nephews. He hated our parents, so how could I expect him to help us. I left from their without talking to him.

I was left with only one option and that was insurance. If I didn't pay the bank's loan then they would sell our house and more over all the loans that I took from my friends, it would drown us all. I went to my adviser from the insurance company. I came to know that the insurance was given to the person's family if he dies for some reason. I had enough money in my insurance pay of all the loans.

There, when nothing seemed to work, I decided to take this huge step. This time I didn't hold the cupid, because I didn't want any strength. I don't want you to repeat the same mistakes that I have made.

Further in your life, you might also fall in love with someone but remember this, not everything works out the way you plan to. You might face situations when your trust in love might die.

At that time trust your heart, be brave and face those challenges that life gives you without any fear. If someone tries to hurt you, don't hurt them back but thank them for helping you become stronger.

We, middle class people dream a lot but only few have the power to make it true. I know that you are among those few. I know you want to fulfil our dream by becoming a neuron surgeon, but Rihdzi, if you really want to make me including pa and ma happy, then do what makes you happy.

I always knew that you were interested in singing, so head for you dream and I will always be with you. I shall not be with you physically, but you will feel my presence in your heart.

Ridhzi, my death might be shock for you but keep this in mind, you cannot forget your past just because they are painful. You have to learn to move on in life with them so that when you face the same problem next time, they don't hurt you that much.

There will be a lot of people who will try to stop you from reaching your goal but only a few will be your support on your way to your destination. Wherever you go, whatever you do remember this, "Distance is what brings happiness not destination." You will have many people beside you when you reach that top but only those people matter that are beside you on the way to that top.

The cupid that Shakuntala gave me is in the pocket of your black jacket. I gift it to you and wish that it gives you the same strength that it gave me once.

Love Jay.

She went towards her cupboard and searching for her black jacket that she hadn't even worn since Jay's death as it was a gift from him and it always reminded her of him. Wiping the tears and holding the cupid's statue in her hand said out loud, "Why did you do this bhai? Just for us, you gave up your life?"

She again back to her table and opening the dairy started writing again''

Friday,

I am continuing again from what I wrote few hours ago. I just found Jay bhai's letter in my old dairy that Jay Bhai had gifted me. I have come to know about so many truths at the same time. Atul bhai is our own cousin and Shasank Uncle our own uncle. Jay bhai commited suicide just so that we could get his insurance's money!

As always when I needed Jay bhai the most he helped me. His talks always inspired me and did some kind of magic that I would stand up again and aim for my dreams. His letter has done the same magic again.

It's been a month since Ashley's party. I and Armaan have parted our ways just like Jay bhai and Shakuntala (his girlfriend) but our reasons are different. People say that love starts with friendship but have you ever heard birth of love after the death of friendship?

I was watching this daily soap in you tube called,"Kitni Mohabbat Hai," and it got me into thinking can anyone seriously love someone so much that they give up all their life for their love. Then I watched another show called, "Dill mill gaye," and again a new question popped to my head that if people say that true is something that happens between two people, then why do they have a triangle. What is love or as everyone says "true love"? Does it even exist?

I used to think whoever I love, I will love him truly from my deep heart. Armaan is my first love but my only love hates me. The more I hate him for what he did to me, the more I fall in love with him. I love him unconditionally and he hates me the most. He thinks that I used Atul bhai so that I could come to America. He hates Indians like me because of his mom and Vivek. His mom married his dad for visa and once she got in here and got bored with her house wife life, she got divorce from Billy uncle and left Armaan and Rahul to be taken care by Sehnazz Bi, their nany.

As for Vivek' long story short he is the guy who raped Anjali di in college party. That was the reason why Anji di was denying to Atul Bhai. She thought that she didn't deserve Atul for he was too good to be with a girl like her. At last Atul bhai was successful in convincing her that he loved her and her past didn't matter to him and whatever happened wasn't her fault.

Armaan thinks I am like them who use other people for their advantage. I despise Vivek for his low act but I don't know about Armaan's mom. I mean how low can a mother go?

I don't get why he is so prejudice towards me. I tomato in the basket is rotten doesn't mean all others are rotten too. He made this month hell for me including the senior trip and now prom is coming up after 3 weeks. He told me that he will make that night the worst night of my life and when I told him I will not go to the prom party, he said he will force me to.

I don't know what kind of love is it. I more he hurts me, the more deeply I fall in love with him. Even if I love him, I hate him at the same time.

Our story is turning out to be like Arjun and Aarohi in Kitni Mohabbat hai but unlike them this is real life and in real life not all love stories have fairy tale ending.

The street lamps were giving light in darkness. The only sound he could hear was of the soft breeze whispering in his ears.A tear drop made its way from his hazel eyes.

"Sh*** why am I crying over some stupid, Indian chick? I mean I hurt her by playing with her because I know her kind of girls. I hurt her to teach her lesson for playing with Atul bhai, then why am I feeling bad?"

Holding his head with his two hands, he closed his eyes as the party incident played around his mind.

Flashback'

Ashley went to tell Glen that her trying to get close to Armaan was all an act. Armaan feeling hot due the crowd inside, walked out of the building. He was walking towards a tree nearby when he heard someone crying. It was a skinny figure clad in red dress. It didn't take him to realize that the person was non-other than Ridhima.

For some reason, it hurt him seeing her cry like that. Going towards her, he put his hand on her shoulder.

Feeling someone's hand on her shoulder she turned around but then pushed it, backing up a little bit and bringing her hand forward said, "Stop there Armaan Mallik! Don't you dare touch me."

Armaan was confused by her act.

"What's the problem with this chick? First she tries to come close to me, and then acts as if I'm gonna rape her?" thought Armaan.

Armaan- "What's wrong Ridhima? Why you acting like this?"

He tried moving forward towards her but was stopped again.

Ridhima- "What's wrong? Don't try to act innocent with me Mr. Mallik!"

Armaan- "What the h*** you talking about? What did I do?"

Ridhima- "Oh you don't know? (Wiping her tears) I heard your conversation with Ashley and I know that you are playing game with me."

Armaan thought that now that she knows everything, his plan has failed not completely but partially as he was successful in hurting her. He never spares anyone, who hurt his loved ones and mainly Atul was like his brother.

Armaan- "Oh so you know? Good! What did you think High class people like me will be friends with you low class people? You know all you poor people are like that. You can do anything to get what you want, can't you? I bet can even sleep with men!"

She slapped him hard. He felt her hand in his cheeks. No one had ever slapped him not even his own dad and brother, Rahul and here this good for nothing chick just slapped him. Without thinking a second he pulled her by waist bringing her body so close to his that there was no space left.

With eyes burning with fire of anger, he shouted at her face, "Listen Miss Ridhima! If I want I can go much lower than this. No one has ever slapped me not even my own Dad and you slapped me. Prepare yourself Missi. (With an evil grin he left her waist and continued) The next two months will be hell for you. You will never forget me all your life. Even though my plan has failed, I will make you pay."

Ridhima- (tears running down non-stop form her eyes) No, Armaan you have succeeded in your plan. I have already fallen for you but now I hate you at the same time. Just tell me this why did you do this to me.

She went towards him, cupping his face with her both hands, she said out loud, "Why did you do this to me Armaan? Just tell me this and I promise I will never come across your way."

Armaan- (removing her hand away from his face and turning his back to her) Stop trying to come close to me. I am not innocent like Atul bhai who will fall for your trap. (Seeing her confused face) Ah aren't you an excellent actress? Pretending as if you don't have any idea. I know that Atul bhai is not your own brother and you are using him. I can't believe you can go so low. I would have fallen for your act too, if Brian hadn't said anything to me. He showed me how you were trying to trap Glen because he is rich and all. Ha! But your bad luck the guy already was in love with Ashley. And his girlfriend, Ashley who I once helped get Glen and who knew about you trying to lure Glan in your trap, helped me out.

Ridhima- (covering her eyes with her hand) please Armaan stop it. I can't hear anymore. Is that all? That's how have understood me as for these past months? I stupid thought you liked me when you actually hate me.

Armaan- I am not that easy to get Missy. Gotta work harder next time. But I promise I will make you pay for trying to trap my brothers and I will never let you harm them.

Ridhima- I would never harm them as they are like my own brother. I love them as much as you do. I know you will not believe me and I don't know why you think that I'm behind their money (wiping away her tears and going near Armaan, staring right into his eyes ) but you know what no matter how difficult you make it for me, I challenge you that I will stand against you and not even a single act by you will break my self confidence.

She left from their inside the hall to the party.

Armaan angry with what happened outside the party hall, went inside and saw a hot chick. He saw Ridhima looking towards him. Taking this as a chance to hurt Ridhima, he went towards the girl and asked her for dance. Elina was on the 9^th clouds. The Mr. Hottie of school was asking her for dance.

Then the DJ changed it to some slow, romantic music to which everyone shouted. Now all the couples were on the dance floor including Elina and Armaan. He brought Elina closer to him and could see the tears in Ridhima's eyes. To hurt her more, he kissed ELina.

Rihdima not wanting to see anymore turned around to find Siddharth saying hi to her. She put on a fake smile and replied back, "Hi!"

Siddharth was a nice guy and one of the close friends in high school. He was like her best friend among boys for he was always there for her. Siddharth also liked Ridhima and mainly because she helped him propose tahmanna, his girlfriend.

Armaan seeing Ridhima talking to a guy so freelygot angry and enjoying her time, went to the small bar nearby and said, "Do you have vodka?"

The waiter gave him vodhka.

Ridhima saw him in the bar, drinking vodhka.

Worried she went towards him and grabbing the glass said, "No! Armaan stop it. You are driving later; you might crash your car.

Armaan- "Why do you care? Go with your new lover. Leave me."

Ridhima- (with little smile on her lips) "Tell me Armaan, do you love me or do you hate? Are you mad because I was with Siddarth or because I was having a good time?

Armaan- (not in his sense anyomore) "Both!I hate that I love you."

Ridhima not able to hold her emotions anymore kissed him lightly on his forehead while he closed his eyes.

Siddharth helped her get Armaan in the car and took them home. After thanking Siddharth she took hold of Armaan by his waist and took him to his room. She removed his hand from her shoulder and making him lay in his bed, she took out his shoes. She grabbed his blanket and laid it on top of his body. Ridhima was about to go, but then she turned around and touching his hair with her hand and pushing the strands on the back, kissed him lightly on the forehead.

Armaan opened his eyes feeling her lips on his forehead. She was about to leave when he holded her hand. She turned around and with straight face said, "Sleep well Armaan. Tomorrow is a new day. Today is gone forever."

Flashback ends

He touched his forehead and feeling her kiss on it, again closed his eyes.

He thought, "How can I fall in love with her when I hate her? I hate her. She is just like mom. I know it. She's just like her. She will shower me with love and then leave me. No I can't let it happen. Why can't Atul bhai understand? She is playing game with all of us.

He then remembered how he tried to tell Atul about her but Atul didn't believe him.

"Does she really love me?" he questioned himself and answered it himself, "No, she doesn't and even she does I don't and even if we do, we can never be together. We are two opposite people. I am going to business school and she is going to some singing school. She is playing with me.... Yeah I know like all other girls she is playing with. I will never fall deeply for her... Never... I will teach her a lesson so that girls like her can never destroy any guy's life."

His eyes made way towards the clock which showed 12 sharp. He went to bed remembering he has to meet Brian outside the Manhattan Mall tomorrow.

:) i like the intro, i think you should continue fast! Welcome to ff forum, btw :)

KIran

I like the Introduction. Good Luck continuing, would love to see how the next part shapes out.

Hannahxx

interesting intro! do continue :)

great intro👏👏👏.i would love to read more after the way u described her life.continue soon.......

Thanks guys.. at 1st I wasn't sure.. as i told u before i've never written anything like this before.. m gonna start soon .. again thanks 4 ur comment s.. it means a lot to me

Reserved- I am currently in the middle of writing an essay, but will hopefully send in my two cents soon 😃

Hannahxx

P.S Thanks for the PM.

As for the next page, each page holds 8 comments per page so so on the 9th comment a new page will start, only then you can paste the part on the next page.- I think this is what you were talking about

Hope that helps

Hannahxx

Originally posted by: Pebblez

:) i like the intro, i think you should continue fast! Welcome to ff forum, btw :)

KIran

Thanks😊

Originally posted by: hannahdmg

As for the next page, each page holds 8 comments per page so so on the 9th comment a new page will start, only then you can paste the part on the next page.- I think this is what you were talking about

Hope that helps

Hannahxx

yep.. u got me.😉 . i thought that we have to start our own new page😆
thank you very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much...😃😆😆
😆