Rani On the Couch with Koel

Rani's rules for survival

Unfazed she said '...start any rumour you like about me. It doesn't affect my work space.' This was after I had repeatedly tried to get to the bottom of Rani's relationship with Adi Chopra. She added 'go ahead link me up with whoever you want'. It's a clever way of not saying anything. Well, she has spent 14 long years in this industry and the delicate art of dodging is the least one would expect her to have learnt. Thirty minutes of Ms Mukherjee on the couch and I did some learning of my own.

Tune into Headlines Today on Saturday,

September 12 at 7 pm and Sunday, September 13 at 1 pm to watch the show

Lesson number one - 'It's a rumour'. Anything and everything that you are uncomfortable with or want to hide (even if you've been caught red handed), just deny with a smiling straight face and say that's a rumour. The trick is - the closer to the truth the probe is, the more vehemently you must deny it.

For example, Rani says outraged 'I have never thrown a divalicious tantrum or made any outrageous demands... I'm too nice for such behaviour.' I suppose a shopping allowance for the entire extended family including the secretary borne by the producer is not really a demand worth mentioning. I wonder in which world choice expletives directed towards the makeup artist is considered 'nice'. But then again these are mere rumours. Just like it's utter rubbish that Rani doesn't get on with Saif.

Lesson number two - 'Confidence wins the game'. Cover up any and every weak point that you may have with confident or even over-confident talk. Don't wait to be targeted, simply attack. But remember, always camouflage with a smile. So for instance, before I can finish saying did you worry about looking too old romancing Shahid, who looks like a little boy, Rani says '...and I look like a little girl.' Touch. Have to give her that one whether I agree or not.

Lesson number three - 'Use facts to your Advantage'. Remember that the same facts can be used to support either side of any argument (this is the first thing you're taught in debate class and when you sign up to be a politician). So when all else fails, allude to facts to support your point, they tend to scare any opposing view away.

A case in point, Rani has been missing in action for over a year (in Bollywood that's equivalent to seven in real time) and the buzz is she's at the end of her career and the media is full of stories of her disappearance. This is a fact. But seen from the other side, as Rani points out, her last release was just over a year ago. So this certainly isn't her comeback film and how can she be written off. This too is a fact. But does anyone actually remember the name or story of her last release?

For lesson number four, five and six you will have to tune into Headlines Today this Saturday, September 12, at 7 pm and Sunday, September 13, at 1 pm. I have to say that Ms Mukherjee may or may not be on her way out depending on the success of her latest film but she's survived the changing face of the film industry and carved a place for herself regardless of the hits and misses for so many years and that's an achievement in itself. Her slim, radiant new avatar (she truly is looking better than ever) sporting a 'salwar-kini' may just be lesson number seven of survival.

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