-|Shabo's Stuff|- *inactive* - Page 26

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fungrl thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
I love this song and you made it more sadder than it was in the movie.................anyhoo, awesome writing, very heart wrenching 😭😭😭
😭😭
indiandoll89 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
mine! 😛

And love the title Bhav for Shabz! 😛

*edited*

So that may have dampened my mood... a bit....😭 Poor Prem...

But I loved the way you described how he saw her literally everywhere and how everytime he went closer she was gone....as everyone pointed out, that was very very effective...seeing the song on tv nearly every day...almost killed the essence of it for me...but you brought it back! *hugs*

Thanks!😃😳

Love you,

Meera😳


Edited by indiandoll89 - 16 years ago
Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: sourpuss

My spot!

You, my dear Shabzie, truly are mistress of tragedy. (I was gonna give you the title of Queen of tragedy, but mistress of tragedy has a much better ring to it, don't you think? Besides, I'm (apparently) the queen of tragedy. 😛) *highfive* Wanna be "Mistresses of Tragedy? 😆
I loved the poeticism (is that even a word?!) in this. How he imagines Heer everywhere, and then "She was gone". The way you wrote this, the style and format and all, was just amazing. *worships* Kiss my feet. 😆 Sorry, that was a line in something I read on another forum. 😆 Thanks! :)
Love,
Bhav (:



Originally posted by: Anhdara13

I love how you keep repeating that one line 'she was gone'. Short but so effective. Thanks!

It was really good. Dry spell my foot, it was really good. And the song, I love that song. *sigh* Get out of your funk already, and write some more. Because I miss your writing. Dude, tell me about it, this song is epic! AWESOME! And I wrote more. And I'm flattered. And I'm rambling. (Again!)

Love,
Radz



Originally posted by: Khushi34

Hey Shabz

That was amazing!!! 😃
You know you're really good at this..Loved this one shot
The repetition of "She was Gone" was a really smart idea lol...It sort of added to the feel....
I actually liked the font i suits the stroy well..😆😆😆
Take care
x



Oh my gosh. Khushbu! Where have you been?!?! Wow, unexpected comment! Thanks a ton!! :) You still around then? On the forum? Have I just been bind? 😆

Originally posted by: fungrl

I love this song and you made it more sadder than it was in the movie.................anyhoo, awesome writing, very heart wrenching 😭😭😭
😭😭



Ohh yeah, thank god, I didn't think I hit the mark. :) Thanks for reading and commenting! 😃
urworstnitemare thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
Oh I missed this...reading ur writing. That was awesome really! I loved the repetition you used. And oh it has such a poetic feeling! I bet any person could literally pick this apart and analyze it....dunno why anybody in their sane mind would but still. It had a bit of that symbolism in there too if you get what I mean. Very well done! lmao...its wierd how you ur self think it was bad but to others it was perfect! Don't underestimate urself! *hugs*
-Avi
Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: indiandoll89

mine! 😛

And love the title Bhav for Shabz! 😛

*edited*

So that may have dampened my mood... a bit....😭 Poor Prem...*sighs while Meera sobs*

But I loved the way you described how he saw her literally everywhere and how everytime he went closer she was gone....as everyone pointed out, that was very very effective...seeing the song on tv nearly every day...almost killed the essence of it for me...but you brought it back! *hugs*Oh my gosh, totally, this song has been playing everywhere! Thanks!

Thanks!😃😳Umm....*confused*....for what?

Love you,

Meera😳



Originally posted by: urworstnitemare

Oh I missed this...reading ur writing. That was awesome really! I loved the repetition you used. And oh it has such a poetic feeling! I bet any person could literally pick this apart and analyze it....dunno why anybody in their sane mind would but still. It had a bit of that symbolism in there too if you get what I mean. Very well done! lmao...its wierd how you ur self think it was bad but to others it was perfect! Don't underestimate urself! *hugs*

-Avi



Awww thanks Avi. 🤗 I just didn't think it had that punch in it y'know? But hey if people liked it, I'm not going to try and persude them otherwise. 😆 Thanks for reading and commenting, and oh, you are on the PM list for this one, wanna be removed? 😆
Posted: 16 years ago
Baacha Party

Harman may have had promised Heer that no one would come to know of Chahat and her relation to the family, but Preet had made no such promise. Upon arriving at the hotel that night, Preet had discovered the picture of his bhabhi and an unknown girl in Harman Bhaiya's room. On his way to confront him, Preet overheard him and Bhabhi having a heated discussion over the phone and that's when Preet realized the importance, the significance of this small girl.

Without telling anyone, he got his family on a plane, despite the doctors warning Preet against letting Lalit travel. Preet's constant reply that in India was something that could cure Lalit beyond damage. And how true was he. Stepping on Indian soil had brought such spring in his step and seeing Heer had put life into his body. The day flew by with tears, hugs and explanations.

As the day died down, Preet ushered Ketan, Tannu and Gungun into the playroom where Chahat was busy telling her bear a bedtime story. She eyed them suspiciously. Preet cleared his throat; eager to leave.

"Acha, you guys get to know each other before dinner ok? Be nice, but not to nice."


He winked at his daughter who quickly covered her eyes, her giggles shaking her tiny body. Laughing at Gungun, Preet walked out, leaving the children to stare at each other not sure what to do. Shyly, Gungun walked over to Chahat and pretty soon the two girls were playing dress-up. Ketan had been video taping the whole facade before Chahat, a glint in her eyes just like her fathers, dragged Ketan by the hand and tried to force him into a old, tattered sari.

"Chahat! Ye sab mein nahin karsaktha!"

"Kyun nahin?"

"Mein ek lardka hoon!"

"Toh? Lardka ho toh maaza nahin karsathe kya? Please bhaiya!"


Ketan stopped, and started at the small girl who was looking at him, wide imploring eyes and a tiny pout.

"Kya kaha tum ne?"

Chahat looked confused. "Bhaiya..."

Ketan could feel his heart melting slightly. Smiling down at Chahat and confessed; "Aaj tak koi mujhe Bhaiya nahin bulaya."

A look of shock replaced Chahat's confusion. She looked at Gungun and back at Ketan who shook his head. "Abhi toh ine bohat choti hai."

Chahat turned to look at Tannu who had her hands crossed. "Aur Tannu didi?"

Ketan flushed, ashamed to admit that his younger sister didn't call him bhaiya. Flustered, he shook his head. Chahat felt pity for her new bhaiya and she stalked over to Tannu.

"Didi, ye galat baath hai! Ketan Bhaiya aap se itne baade hai!"


Tannu tossed her head, scoffing. "Ye sab...all this...doesn't happen in Canatta."

Chahat's eyebrows furrowed together. "Canatta? Woh...aap sab toh...Canada se aaye na?"

Tannu looked confused. "That's what I SAID!"

Chahat shook her head. "Nahin - apne Canatta kaha. Kya school mein aap ko kuch nahin sikhe?"

Tannu's anger flared up. Trying to muster up an insult, her voice seemed to get caught in her throat. Taking advantage of her silence, Chahat turned, her ponytails whipping Tannu across the face and flounced off to a quiet Gungun who was intrigued with a dollhouse and a Ketan who was trying to keep his laughter at bay.

The next hour flew by, the children happy in their world. Ketan managed to convince Chahat to let him wear an old suit and Gungun staggered around in 3 inch heels, a floppy hat and a ton of pearls. Chahat herself draped herself in a sari, pretending to be her mother.

Kuldi's voice rang down the hall.

"Baacha party! Chalo - khana laagya!"


Quick as a flash, the children whipped off their costumes, while Tannu watched from afar. Ketan held out his hand and led Gungun downstairs, listening to her quiet blabber. Chahat shut the closet door with a satisfied smile and turned to see Tannu perched in a chair, hurt etched over her face.

Immediately Chahat could hear her mom's voice, telling her to treat others how she would like to be treated. She sighed. Now she would have to push past her ego and apologize. Shuffling over, she stopped in front of Tannu who looked up, wonder in her eyes. The two litle girls looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Chahat decided to hold out.

"Paata hai, Yuvraj Uncle ke puurane kamre mein bohat saare chocolates hai."


Tannu felt a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and got up and held out her hand to Chahat's outstretched one. Smiling Chahat took it and the two girls left the room hand in hand.

***

Random idea that popped in my head when I read one of Radzie di's shots, and I sent this to her, and she told me to post it so voila! Comments or hit the like button? Please and thank you. :)

--shabz
indiandoll89 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
mine! 😛

*edited*

I'm not in such commenting mood today...but I'll have you know this was awesome! 😃😳

The whole part with Preet getting them all to India and him bringing the kids to play with chahat? Sho shweet! 😳😃 Him and Gungan sound fab! 😳 You need to write more with them! 😳 The little bit about Ketan being touched that Chahat called him bhaiyya it's cute!😳 And oh yes...the bit with Tannu...was awesome! 😛

I wanna read more! 😛

Meera😳
Edited by indiandoll89 - 16 years ago
urworstnitemare thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
That was adorable! I love gungun btw! *giggles, she's soo cute! I liked how Tannu called Canada, canatta! lol shouldn't it be the other way around? *gasp, do you see Canadian people calling Canada Canatta, in whichever province you live in? =O WOAH! lmao it was adorable, Chahat being the mini boss was amusing.
Good job as always, didn't edit this time did you? Ohh, thanks for being on my side btw *envelopes you into a huge bear hug! Yay, Shabz for being logical and intelligent, and a good friend and....I'll stop *giggles.
Oh favorite part: Preet winking at Gungun and Gungun giggling with her hand over her face.😆 Just the way you wrote it was awesome!😳
Edited by urworstnitemare - 16 years ago
-LilyGurl- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
i like i like . Bacha party so cute. Canatta??? As i recall in canada only native americans use to call canada canatta . Tannu i liked u when u were small but lols the that part was funny. Gives Gun gun and Chahat a big hug since they r sho cute.
Aweome Shabz di
Love lily
Edited by LilyGurl - 16 years ago
Anhdara13 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
I loved it! And you knew that. Chahat and Tannu interaction was adorable, because they're both used to being centre of attention na?

Oh, and I love Ketan, he's so sweet.

Love,
Radz

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