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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#101

Thanks for all the comments guys! =]

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Maddy

@blackdaughter

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#102

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! That was soooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have tears in my eyes from laughing!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has to be one of the funniest things i've read in a really really long time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

That all i can say!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sides hurt from laughing so much!!!!!!!!!!

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purplestar22

@purplestar22

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

#103

hahah that one shot was soooo funny hahahah tannu is so cute!!!

Edited by purplestar22 - 16 years ago

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#104

Originally posted by: indiandoll89
mine! 😳

*unreserved*

THAT.....WAS.......A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!🤣
*shuffles feet* ok.....😆

The entire thing was so easy to see as if it was all happening in front of us!😃GOOD! 😃

I know the comment was too small, but seriously Shabo, that was totally awesome, Tannu is a mastermind, but I love how special she is to all of them!😃😳 But seriously Heer comparing the chand to her being pudgy...was totally adorable, and Prem, "when had he-in all of his being- had ever smirked at her" Meher? That is totally awesome!!!!😆😆😆
aha. I don't care about comment lenght, its quality not quantity! =] LOL, am glad you liked it, and once again you manage to pick out all the detials! 😆

Write more of these types of scene soon! 😃
erm. Maybe. 😛

Love you,

Meera😳

Originally posted by: sourpuss
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. It's nearly 7 in the morning and honey YOU MADE MY DAY! This was hilarious! Tannu totally deliberately bungled up the messages, didn't she? And you said you couldn't write comedy...

Love,

Bhav (:

Once again...7 on a SATURDAY??? Ughh you so need to get your head checked! 😆 Thanks for liking it BD! 😃

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#105

Originally posted by: munam_13
now that was.... 🤣..this Tanu I tell you..... Minx created cross connections between the couple... it was really awesome and hillarious at the same time... I would rather love to see the misconception getting cleared and the foursome teaching her a lesson for a change...😃

LMAO, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it Priyo! Hmm...that's a good idea, I shall keep that in the back of my head! 😉

Originally posted by: Anhdara13
OMG, Shabz! OMG, I'm laughing too hard right now. That was bloody brilliant! I mean, you say you can't write comedy?I can't...it was no where as funny as yours. 😆

Tannu is brilliant, deliberately messing up the messages, and then allowing them to come up with their own conclusions. 'Misconceptions' works as well with this story as it did with the Jamie one! Absolutely hilarious. And thanks for crediting me for inspiration, though this is nothing like the other one so I don't know why you did! I knew you would love Tannu like there was no tomorrow! I hope you don't mind I stole your title? It just fit...come to think of it, I should have crediated you for that as well...sorry!

Can you imagine if Jamie and Tannu met?? How scary would that be? He'd think things, and she'd do them, and drag him down with her. *sigh* Now someone needs to write one with the both of them.
omg, now is that not "rab ne bana de jodi"? I think you should write it!!! 😃 Cuz I'm not that familiar with Jamie's charachter...or maybe we could write it together?? *ponders*

Love,

Radz

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#106

Originally posted by: sparikh
That was priceless, Shabz! 🤣

Very funny one-shot...do write more.

-Sona

Thanks Sona! 😃 Glad you liked it! =]

Originally posted by: blackdaughter
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! That was soooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have tears in my eyes from laughing!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has to be one of the funniest things i've read in a really really long time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

That all i can say!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sides hurt from laughing so much!!!!!!!!!!

aha. Maddy I love your comments, always make me grin! Can I assume you liked it? 😆

Originally posted by: purplestar22
hahah that one shot was soooo funny hahahah tannu is so cute!!!

Isn't she? 😉 Thanks. 😳

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Bhavna

@sourpuss

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#107

Originally posted by: shabo24
Once again...7 on a SATURDAY??? Ughh you so need to get your head checked! 😆
Ouch! 😛 I'm not crazy! My parents were going to the temple after dropping my sister off at hindi school so I figured I'd go! Besides, *sometimes* I like waking up early! So NYAH! 😛😛

Thanks for liking it BD! 😃
You're welcome! Thanks for writing it! Seriously, Shabz, your stuff just makes my day! 😳🤗

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#108

Originally posted by: sourpuss
]Once again...7 on a SATURDAY??? Ughh you so need to get your head checked! 😆
Ouch! 😛 I'm not crazy! My parents were going to the temple after dropping my sister off at hindi school so I figured I'd go! Besides, *sometimes* I like waking up early! So NYAH! 😛😛Yea I get what you mean...but still.....SEVEN?!?!?! *eyes pop out* Is that a weekly thing??

Thanks for liking it BD! 😃

You're welcome! Thanks for writing it! Seriously, Shabz, your stuff just makes my day! 😳🤗
Awww...*blushes* You rock my socks. 😆

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And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#109

Tragic one shot anyone? 😉
aha well me and Radzie di were discussing a possibility for a tragic shot she was going to write, and this was one of the failed ideas but I was blurting out parts, so on her suggestion, I am posting it, so throw critisim at her and compliments at me. *angel waala face* So back story, Heer is pregenet.....gives birth.....what happens?

-|~~|-

The last eight hours were a blur to Heer Juneja, as agaonizing pains took over her body, causing every muscle to tear, every pore to screm in frusteration. Her pregnency had been a complete normal one with minimul morning sickness, cramps, bloating but all the pain seemed to boil down to the last trimester with her lying in bed, bleeding to the horrer of her family who had been let in to say goodbye.

Faintly she heard the doctor tell him that there was nothing left to do. It was just unfair. Cruel. Sad. She had lost to much blood in a short amount of time and now there was nothing to do but wait. She could hear the doctor tell her family that it would be painless and that she would just slip away and she almost smiled at the thought. The pain of never being able to hold her daughter was searing her very skin.

Prem, ignoring the doctors, set himself on the edge of the bed, gently lifting her head in to his lap, determined that his touch was the last thing that she would feel. As he held her, he kept a stone-like face, whilst sobbing inside. Everything they had overcome almost seemed futile, a waste of time if this was how it was going to end. Seperate a daughter from her parents. A sister from her brother. A sister from a sister. A aunt from her neices and nephews. A wife from her husband. A mother from her child.

Heer cluctched at his shirt, not so desperatly, as she had almost accepted her fate, knowing that it was her time. Through waning vision, she looked up to see everyone she loved surrond her as she lay bleeding. Preet and Meher stood on one side of the bed, tears pouring down both their eyes. She smiled softly at them, glad she was leaving her sister with such a good guy. Turning her attention she say her in-laws. She never thought them as in-laws, so readily they had accepted her and Meher not as daugther-in-laws but their own daughters. They had given her so much and she had done her job by giving them their first grandchild. A girl. Tears fomed in her almond shaped eyes. That was the only regret she had in life. That she would never hear the soft whisper of a child's voice reach her heart. "Mama."

With every ounce of strenght left in her, she titled her head to the right so she was looking directly in the eyes of Prem. Everything else dissolved around them as she gazed into his eyes. Brown looked into brown and both drowned. Into memories that would now last one of them a lifetime.

"Kyunki mein tumse pyar kartha hoon! Nahin khush ho saktha tumharko kisi aur ke saath deke, kyunki mein tumse bohat pyar katha hoon! Pyar kartha hoom tumse. Haan. Dimaag kharab hogya tha mera, lekin tumhari zindagi kharab nahin hone doonga."

"Hee ko takleef dena, matlab mujhe takleef dena. Heer ko zaleel karna, mujhe zaleel karna. Heer aur Prem toh eki hai. Eki hai Heer aur Prem. Heer Prem ka prateek hai aur Prem, Prem saabse zyaada Heer mein saama hai."

"Tum jaanthi ho, aaj mere paas kuch nahin hai, kuch nahin hai mere paas. Lekin tum meri saab kuch ho. Saab kuch. Maana ki mein tumhe doon rotian nahin kilaksatha mein, par majboori karke, ek mangalsutar toh kharidsaktha. Maana ki khud ki paarion ke neech zameen nahin hai, lekin khule aasman ki neeche bhetkar, hum dono khud apne maakan ke sapne toh dekhisakthe. Maan ki koi raasta nahin hai, par agar tum saath doogi, toh maanzil zaroor milinge. Agar tum meri humsafar baanigi toh, zindagi haste haste khat jayenge. Agar tum meri safar mein humsafar baanige toh safar aur bhi rangeel hojayyanga. Ye hamahri zindagi hai. Isse hum safaringe. Tum mera akela paan door karthi ho. Door karthi hoon mera akelapaan. Mujhse shaadi karonge?"

Her eyes fluttered, the inevitable, moments away. Her breathing become more and more heavier as Prem cluthed more and more desperatlly, holding on to her, but losing her every second. The corners of her lips lifted, as her eyes closed and she ever so softly whispered. "Mein tumse pya - "

The baby's cry pierced the air.

-|~~|~

So tell me?? Good, bad? Ohh and coming up, got a lil Meet one-shot planned! *giggles*

--shabz

P.S. Did Preet look good today or did he look good? 😛

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Ravjot

@rainydays.

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 16 years ago

#110

Omg Shabo that was so sad!!! Why do you like tragic things so much and why are you so good at it?

I love how you described the pain everyone was going through, especially Heer's and how she'll never her her baby call her "mama"

I loved how you added the dialogues in the end which signified how much Prem loves Heer. It was really depressing how in the end, when she's teling him that she loves him, it's cut off with a baby crying...

Edited by -Ravjot- - 16 years ago