Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2: EDT #11 - Page 151

Originally posted by: Namikfan123

Sorry today I took your place for update

But I was so excited for today thats why akhir wohi hua jo humne socha tha Mihir ko Tulsi ne maaf nhi Kiya...

No problem. I don’t do this regularly, only when I am free.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Ok. Let’s take this one at a time.

I believe no woman of the above mentioned is a saint but I think men hold more accountability here if they’re the ones who committed themselves in a marriage to another woman.

Next - Rupali is someone who I have not followed much beyond her show Sarabhai. I have practically never liked any of her other shows and even SVS is more down to the ensemble and the writing than her. I honestly didn’t know when, where, whom she married and all that I learnt about her was against my will thanks to SM.

Regarding Sridevi - she was absolutely wrong to do what she did. But since you asked how did she not have a moral compass of her own, I guess you can attribute that to her own mother. Sridevi was born to a woman who wanted to be a star herself but she couldn’t manage much though she got some work in movies, so she set out to achieve her dreams by pushing her 3 years old daughter into this profession and denying her the chance to have even a normal childhood. Morality is a trait that’s taught and learned, inculcated by example by the parents and the adults around a child. You think a woman who sees her daughter as a means of getting her dreams come true and lives vicariously through her taught her daughter morality? Imagine this woman was raised around god knows what sorts of people from the time she was 3 years old… I am not defending her, she suffered a horrible end and her husband certainly doesn’t seem like he misses her. There have been way too many pictures of him of touching actresses as young as his daughter in ways a man of his age shouldn’t do with 2 daughters of his own but it’s there. If Shani Dev sees it fit, she will suffer in her next life for this too or maybe she settled a score from a previous one, idk.

Regarding Smriti, my post is abundantly clear. I don’t claim she’s innocent but I am merely looking at the facts from a different lens. To me this man in his 40s marries her, she’s a guest in his home as a young woman struggling to get work in a new city. The catch is, he’s known her since she was a child or at least a teenager. Her parents were confident enough to let her stay with this family in a city far away where they had no relatives to rely on to take in their daughter nor enough financial backup to support her stay there while she sought work even if she were to rent a premises in a shared small space with someone else.

She has known this man likely since he was in his twenties or so for the family to trust him and his wife with their daughter. Now… I don’t deny the possibility that she was an evil home wrecker on the lines of Mandira and Noina irl herself… but can you tell me honestly that a man who has seen her since she was a child or a teenager has no accountability for his actions whatsoever? That there’s not the slightest chance that he groomed her? Because imagine someone say in his late 20s to early 30s comes to your home, you introduce them to your daughter who is a preteen or teen and she likely calls him uncle. Fast forward about a decade or so later and she’s getting married to him. Are you telling me that he was so innocent that he fell into her trap and had no clue or choice? That this girl in question is the worst culprit than him even though he clearly has at least two decades on her in terms of life experience? Where was his conscience that should have stopped him and rebuked her even if she was trying to seduce him? How could he go ahead and marry a girl who likely called him uncle when he himself is a father of a girl close to being a preteen?

I am nowhere absolving women where they must be held accountable, I simply am saying that if a man does something he’s not usually called out, but a woman always is. Men don’t hold other men accountable, women eventually let them go too. Women don’t get that same privilege and treatment neither by men nor other women. They get blamed regardless of the truth, sometimes based on what appear to be facts but may just be barebones of the same.

Well i do agree with your part that men or person who was committed holds more accontiblity but women also should be blamed. Moral should be there no matter in which environment they get raise.

Its not always parents only can do. Our education also teaching us morals so again its on person itself which part they should pursue.

But i really have complaint from actresses that even getting so much money and fame why they choose married men only, ofcourse men has more accontiblity but it irked me our that you have good money and fame and can marry any Good single man but you choose to marry married man only for more money grid which you have already enough.

Originally posted by: Prapti9

Well i do agree with your part that men or person who was committed holds more accontiblity but women also should be blamed. Moral should be there no matter in which environment they get raise.

Its not always parents only can do. Our education also teaching us morals so again its on person itself which part they should pursue.

But i really have complaint from actresses that even getting so much money and fame why they choose married men only, ofcourse men has more accontiblity but it irked me our that you have good money and fame and can marry any Good single man but you choose to marry married man only for more money grid which you have already enough.

Morality can be taught but no one teaches you to exercise it, implement it. The idea of something, the concept of something is not the same as the execution of that thing. It’s akin to driving a car - you know it’s going to have an accelerator, brake, clutch, seatbelts and speedometer amongst other things. But it’s not the same as driving the car. One is the knowledge that these parts are found in a car, the other is the skill that allows you to use them and travel using practically any car if you know how to drive.

I can’t claim to know driving just because I can name all the parts of the car. Morality is much like that - I could know it in theory like the back of my hand but unless I am taught from early on how to use it, it’s pretty much a useless term in my knowledge but not a concept that I am familiar with practically.

As to why these actresses choose married men. I would give you the cold, blunt answer which may make sense but also leave a bad taste in your mouth but it’s the truth from what I understand.

Most actresses who end up in such marriages are popular and have enjoyed stardom. They likely enter the industry as teenagers or fresh into their 20s. They face competition from other girls who have already established themselves, their fellow contemporaries and newbies coming up practically every few months. There aren’t as many male actors in the industry who are leading men material as there are women. So, their competition is already much larger than their male counterparts. So the opportunity to get work is further limited. Even the most successful actresses like Rani, Kareena have complained openly always how they have been paid significantly lesser than their male counterparts for the same movie. Even in a woman centric project they are not able to charge what their contemporaries charge as men. The competition makes them charge even lesser if they know the part can be played by anyone since the role requires a woman to look pretty and dance, nothing else, which means that there are plenty of options for the makers of the movie, but not much for them. Someone else will always be available to do the same job for a lesser price.

Now throw in the most important part, they know that they have a limited shelf life, crude as that term is. They are only going to be able to get good money and leading lady roles until they are in their mid 30s, very rarely will they be able to get work in their late 30s to early 40s as the main lead. Even if they do, it’s likely going to be an indie/art film that’s gonna have a small budget and thus a small pay package for them.

So essentially these women give approximately 2 decades of their lives to make some financial gains and even then it’s limited compared to men. By the time they are older, as in 35+ they know that they are not going to get work that allows them to charge exorbitantly and moreover they might as well get side roles or gravitate towards OTT or TV for a steady source of income.

They decide that now is the time to marry, if they want to marry. But they are already approaching their 40s, they have likely had a string of affairs, ONS’s amongst other things. They are so far beyond the point of morality that they don’t care anymore about looking bad to secure their future while they also want a comfortable lifestyle that they are happy with and have become used to. They won’t mind an upgrade but don’t wanna go down the ladder for sure. Which means that they want a well established, financially secure and successful man to marry.

How many men in their late 30s to early 40s are available who are successful, rich, possibly even incredibly wealthy while being single? Very rare. Dr. Nene was a rarity, he’s an exception not the rule. Madhuri was able to find a man who was considered eligible enough for her while he had no relationships officially prior to their marriage. Not everyone has that chance. So they go chasing these men who are married and fathers as well without qualms and shame. If it means destroying another woman’s home - then so be it.

It’s these men who are as much at fault here because despite everything they see a successful and beautiful woman desired by many in her prime wanting him, even if he knows that it’s for his money and nothing else, but such men give in to the temptation of dangling a trophy wife on their arms and can discard their wives who maybe incredibly beautiful and been through a lot with them, but they’re mere housewives in their heads at the time and not celebrities which these actresses are.

The woman willing accepts a lifetime of slurs and nasty tags that come attached with wrecking a marriage for a luxurious life; the man gets away with a trophy wife who doesn’t have to endure the baggage of accusations and nasty slurs for long.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Morality can be taught but no one teaches you to exercise it, implement it. The idea of something, the concept of something is not the same as the execution of that thing. It’s akin to driving a car - you know it’s going to have an accelerator, brake, clutch, seatbelts and speedometer amongst other things. But it’s not the same as driving the car. One is the knowledge that these parts are found in a car, the other is the skill that allows you to use them and travel using practically any car if you know how to drive.

I can’t claim to know driving just because I can name all the parts of the car. Morality is much like that - I could know it in theory like the back of my hand but unless I am taught from early on how to use it, it’s pretty much a useless term in my knowledge but not a concept that I am familiar with practically.

As to why these actresses choose married men. I would give you the cold, blunt answer which may make sense but also leave a bad taste in your mouth but it’s the truth from what I understand.

Most actresses who end up in such marriages are popular and have enjoyed stardom. They likely enter the industry as teenagers or fresh into their 20s. They face competition from other girls who have already established themselves, their fellow contemporaries and newbies coming up practically every few months. There aren’t as many male actors in the industry who are leading men material as there are women. So, their competition is already much larger than their male counterparts. So the opportunity to get work is further limited. Even the most successful actresses like Rani, Kareena have complained openly always how they have been paid significantly lesser than their male counterparts for the same movie. Even in a woman centric project they are not able to charge what their contemporaries charge as men. The competition makes them charge even lesser if they know the part can be played by anyone since the role requires a woman to look pretty and dance, nothing else, which means that there are plenty of options for the makers of the movie, but not much for them. Someone else will always be available to do the same job for a lesser price.

Now throw in the most important part, they know that they have a limited shelf life, crude as that term is. They are only going to be able to get good money and leading lady roles until they are in their mid 30s, very rarely will they be able to get work in their late 30s to early 40s as the main lead. Even if they do, it’s likely going to be an indie/art film that’s gonna have a small budget and thus a small pay package for them.

So essentially these women give approximately 2 decades of their lives to make some financial gains and even then it’s limited compared to men. By the time they are older, as in 35+ they know that they are not going to get work that allows them to charge exorbitantly and moreover they might as well get side roles or gravitate towards OTT or TV for a steady source of income.

They decide that now is the time to marry, if they want to marry. But they are already approaching their 40s, they have likely had a string of affairs, ONS’s amongst other things. They are so far beyond the point of morality that they don’t care anymore about looking bad to secure their future while they also want a comfortable lifestyle that they are happy with and have become used to. They won’t mind an upgrade but don’t wanna go down the ladder for sure. Which means that they want a well established, financially secure and successful man to marry.

How many men in their late 30s to early 40s are available who are successful, rich, possibly even incredibly wealthy while being single? Very rare. Dr. Nene was a rarity, he’s an exception not the rule. Madhuri was able to find a man who was considered eligible enough for her while he had no relationships officially prior to their marriage. Not everyone has that chance. So they go chasing these men who are married and fathers as well without qualms and shame. If it means destroying another woman’s home - then so be it.

It’s these men who are as much at fault here because despite everything they see a successful and beautiful woman desired by many in her prime wanting him, even if he knows that it’s for his money and nothing else, but such men give in to the temptation of dangling a trophy wife on their arms and can discard their wives who maybe incredibly beautiful and been through a lot with them, but they’re mere housewives in their heads at the time and not celebrities which these actresses are.

The woman willing accepts a lifetime of slurs and nasty tags that come attached with wrecking a marriage for a luxurious life; the man gets away with a trophy wife who doesn’t have to endure the baggage of accusations and nasty slurs for long.

Then we are different dear. Its okay men are responsible more i agree but as i say i cannot give them cleanchit by saying they aged, they already loss morals had ONs..like isn't having so much ONS might be include married men also and this also immorality?

You are sounding like terrorists are innocent because they trained like this from childhood so they are not guilty. No but no matter what if somebody is terrorist or murderer need to killed or punished. You cannot accused them that they trained from childhood like that only so they are not accountable.

When they entered in this field they already knows consequences still they their own will entered in it for their own desires, own greed, who ask them to not marry till 35-40. And not only Bollywood, now every industry you work have cut throat competition, still we managed to marry right guy at right time why they can't? Amd pls don't Tell me in 130 cr people they cannot find single guy whome they can marry under 30 and understand their carrier demands.

Morality should not have any excuses in respective of gender.

Originally posted by: Prapti9

Then we are different dear. Its okay men are responsible more i agree but as i say i cannot give them cleanchit by saying they aged, they already loss morals had ONs..like isn't having so much ONS might be include married men also and this also immorality?

You are sounding like terrorists are innocent because they trained like this from childhood so they are not guilty. No but no matter what if somebody is terrorist or murderer need to killed or punished. You cannot accused them that they trained from childhood like that only so they are not accountable.

When they entered in this field they already knows consequences still they their own will entered in it for their own desires, own greed, who ask them to not marry till 35-40. And not only Bollywood, now every industry you work have cut throat competition, still we managed to marry right guy at right time why they can't? Amd pls don't Tell me in 130 cr people they cannot find single guy whome they can marry under 30 and understand their carrier demands.

Morality should not have any excuses in respective of gender.

Isn’t that a bit excessive? I thought this was a mature discussion on human nature and how cheating figures into it. But you have directly compared me to terrorist sympathisers which is unacceptable and I can’t believe I have to say this but morality is also different for these two situations. Killing innocent people is not the same as destroying a marriage. Until now I thought it was obvious that we were discussing how humans are complex, but if we can’t even be on the same wavelength about what constitutes as human beings and monsters then this discussion is moot.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Isn’t that a bit excessive? I thought this was a mature discussion on human nature and how cheating figures into it. But you have directly compared me to terrorist sympathisers which is unacceptable and I can’t believe I have to say this but morality is also different for these two situations. Killing innocent people is not the same as destroying a marriage. Until now I thought it was obvious that we were discussing how humans are complex, but if we can’t even be on the same wavelength about what constitutes as human beings and monsters then this discussion is moot.

you cannot call a fellow user a Terrorist sympathiser.Its against IF norms.One should understand that calling someone terrorist sympathiser is grave accusation.Please use your words thoughtfully

Killing people and marriage are different worlds.

Originally posted by: A_Star39

I agree

you cannot call a fellow user a Terrorist sympathiser.Its against IF norms.One should understand that calling someone terrorist sympathiser is grave accusation.Please use your words thoughtfully

Killing people and marriage are different worlds.

Thank you