Abhiya AT #344 ~ Hum Dheere Dheere Dheere Pagal Ho Rahe Hai - Page 145

The only trouble is its really tough to stop

PANCHI FALLING FOR ABHAY—THE MOST UNNECESSARY, RANDOM, AND DOWNRIGHT CRINGEWORTHY PLOT EVER.

Like WHY? WHO ASKED FOR THIS?

• Piya has been obsessing over Abhay since day one.

• Panchi was too busy speed-running through 500 failed relationships.

• Abhay barely even acknowledged Panchi’s existence before this.

• Then suddenly, out of NOWHERE, she’s in love with him?

WHAT WERE THE WRITERS THINKING??

• Did they think the audience would root for this??

• Did they forget that Panchi was literally Piya’s sister??

• Did they just spin a wheel of random plots and land on this nonsense?

And the worst part? It made Panchi look even more ridiculous than she already did.

• First, she was getting engaged every alternate week.

• Then she suddenly fell for a vampire who barely even looked in her direction.

• Meanwhile, Piya was already fighting for her life (against trees, kidnappings, amnesia, and her own dumb decisions) just to be with Abhay.

Honestly, this plotline was the equivalent of throwing in a random love triangle just for drama, except NO ONE wanted it.

• The audience didn’t care.

• Abhay didn’t care.

• Even the writers didn’t care because they dropped it so fast.

At this point, Panchi had worse luck with love than the trees had with Piya.

OMG, a parody of Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani would be the funniest thing ever. Just imagine:

✨Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Confusion✨ – A Not-So-Supernatural Love Story

Tagline: One girl, two vampires, three werewolves, four love triangles, and five memory losses later… still no logic in sight.

Scene 1: The Ultimate Love Polygon

Piya: Abhay, I love you!

Abhay: No, Piya. I can never love you. I am cursed… (dramatic wind blowing his hair even though they’re indoors)

Piya: But I know you love me!

Abhay: No, I must stay away from you! (grabs her by the shoulders and stares intensely for five minutes)

Jeh: Piya, leave this emo guy and be with me!

Alina: But Jeh, I love you!

Panchi: Wait, I think I love Abhay now??

Sid (from the background): LOL, this is fun to watch. Carry on, children.

(Audience: …What even is the relationship chart at this point?)

Scene 2: The Trees’ Revenge

Piya: I must go into the forest to investigate!

Tree: Not today, girl. (random branch falls and knocks her out)

Piya: Ugh… why does this always happen to me??

Abhay (appearing out of nowhere): Piya, why do you always find ways to injure yourself?

Tree: Because she keeps coming back, bro.

Scene 3: The Police Station – Where Crimes Go to Die

Piya: Inspector! Arrest Abhay! He’s a vampire!

Inspector: What proof do you have?

Piya: I just… feel it in my heart!

Inspector: Okay, case closed. You can go, beta.

(Meanwhile, werewolves and vampires are literally fighting outside the police station, but nobody cares.)

Scene 4: Chand and Haseena – The Couch Potatoes

Chand: Abhay, you must not love a human!

Haseena: Abhay, you must not protect a human!

Abhay: But I love her!

Chand & Haseena: Anyway, we’re going to go back to sitting on this couch drinking blood that suspiciously looks like Ruh Afza.

Scene 5: The Inconsistent Supernatural Laws

Abhay: I cannot love, I have no emotions!

Piya: Then why did you just cry when I got hit by a tree for the 50th time?

Abhay: …I must go now. (runs into the forest dramatically)

Scene 6: Panchi’s Millionth Engagement

Arnab: Panchi, beta, we have found you the perfect guy!

Panchi: Oh wow, who is it this time?

Random Groom: Hello, I am your future fiancé.

Panchi: Cool. How long do we have before something horrible happens?

Random Groom: About three episodes.

Panchi: Nice, that’s longer than my last one.

Scene 7: The Grand Finale – The Most Anti-Climactic Villain Death Ever

Jeh (final villain of the show): Abhay, I will destroy you!!!

Arnab Dobriyal (a literal human): Nah, I’ll do it instead. (stabs Jeh casually)

Jeh: Wait, what? I wasn’t supposed to die like thi— (dies)

Sid, Maithili, and every other villain’s ghost watching from hell: Bro, what a loser death.

BONUS: Abhay’s Powers (or Lack Thereof)

• Speed? Only when he wants to run away dramatically.

• Strength? Can punch trees, but not much else.

• Mind Control? Used once, then forgotten.

• Vampire Senses? Can’t smell Piya even when she’s literally next to him but can sense her danger from 5 miles away.

• Main Power? Looking broody while doing absolutely nothing.

Conclusion:

A Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani parody would just be two hours of roasting how nothing made sense, characters randomly switched personalities, supernatural rules changed every episode, and Piya had the worst luck with trees.

Honestly, even the trees had more consistent character arcs than most of the cast.

Ok am finally done. Kal milege good night

have a good laugh

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

i dont think i even know the name of his company.

Same it’s not important just like the company

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

useless vampire princess. Kya vampire banegi re th metz

Vampire in name only she probably doesn’t have a water connection in that khandar

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

yes one hundred percent. Here have some.

HAHAHA, exactly!! Piya’s biggest enemy in the whole show wasn’t even vampires—it was trees. It’s like the entire forest had a personal vendetta against her.

• She’s running? Tree.

• She’s standing? Tree branch falls.

• She’s protesting deforestation? Nature itself fights back.

At this point, were the trees team Chand Raichand or what? Maybe they were trying to do what the vampires failed at—eliminating Piya before she could dig up more secrets. Or maybe Mother Nature was just tired of her constant recklessness and decided to teach her a lesson.

Honestly, she needed a helmet more than she needed Abhay’s protection.

——-

She needed a helmet more than abhay

the AI was definitely fed lines from our roasting sessions but this is spot on

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

OH. MY. GOD. YES!!! Abhay was the most useless vampire ever. Like… what were his powers?? Did he even have any?? Because all he ever did was:

1. Run dramatically into the forest – Every time something emotional happened, this man would sprint into the woods at top speed, scream a little, and knock down some trees like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

2. The Power of Brooding™ – He didn’t need super strength, telepathy, or compulsion—his one power was brooding in dim lighting. The man could sulk better than anyone, but could he actually do anything? Nope.

3. The Cold Storage Treatment – Every time Piya was in trouble, what did Abhay do? Freeze in place for five business days before acting. By the time he decided to step in, the damage was already done.

4. Zero Combat Skills – He was supposed to be an ancient, powerful vampire, but any time there was a fight, he got wrecked in seconds. His entire combat strategy was either:

• Running away

• Getting beaten up

• Or standing there doing absolutely nothing

5. Mind Reading? Forget It. Super Strength? Where? – Other vampires in fiction have cool abilities—mind control, hypnotism, actual combat skills. Abhay? His only ability was running dramatically and looking pained.

6. Always Getting Outsmarted – Whether it was Siddharth, Jeh, or random humans, everyone managed to play this guy. He was supposed to be the smart one, but he kept falling for every trap. Like… dude, you’ve been alive for 200 years, learn something!!

7. Useless in the Grand Scheme of Things – If you think about it, what did he actually achieve in the entire show? He spent half of it pushing Piya away, the other half getting beaten up, and in between, he just looked sad.

Abhay wasn’t a vampire—he was just a dramatic dude with pale skin and commitment issues. If vampires had performance reviews, Chand would’ve fired him centuries ago.

—

oh the performnace review line its gold

freeze in place for five business days

Oh man the ancient powerful vampire thing still bugs me he barely did fighting anyways and ITV editing made it look super cheesy

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

Boy it’s hilarious honestly the way gpt roasts them all.

OH MY GOD, YES!!! Misha was supposed to be the cool, reckless tomboy, but let’s be real—where was her brain during all of this?! Like, how did she not go into full-blown existential crisis mode after everything she saw??

• Step 1: Sees Piya Dressed as Maithili – Okay, maybe she thought it was just a costume. Fine.

• Step 2: Hears Abhay SCREAMING “MAITHILI” on His Birthday – At this point, any normal person would think, “Hmm, something’s weird here.” But nope, Misha just brushed it off like it was a karaoke night gone wrong.

• Step 3: SEES THE REAL MAITHILI AS A BLOODTHIRSTY VAMPIRE ATTACKING PEOPLE – Okay, now is the time to freak out, right? But Misha? Nope. She just kept living life like she didn’t just witness something straight out of a horror movie.

• Step 4: The Cherry on Top—PIYA LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MAITHILI – Misha didn’t even question why her best friend-slash-sister looked like a 200-year-old vampire queen. Instead of having a mental breakdown, she just went, “Huh. Weird.” and MOVED ON.

• Step 5: Realizes Piya is Her Actual Sister – At this point, her brain should have been fried—like, overheated, blue screen of death, shut down completely. But somehow, Misha just went, “Oh cool, I have another sister.” and carried on drinking coffee.

HOW?? HOW?? Girl should’ve been shaking, crying, throwing up, but instead, she was out here cracking jokes like none of this was weird!!

Honestly, either Misha had the strongest mental resilience in the world or she had zero processing skills. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if she saw an alien invasion and just went, “Dude, let’s go skateboarding.”

“Huh weird” oh dear this is too accurate

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

OH. MY. GOD. YES. That whole sequence was PEAK dumbassery. Like, what was Abhay’s thought process???

• Step 1: See Piya going for an interview – Oh no! Can’t let that happen!

• Step 2: Instead of simply TALKING to her like a normal person… – Nah, let’s go full Fast & Furious and HIT HER WITH A CAR.

• Step 3: Take her back to the hostel – Okay, maybe he’ll finally just explain things to her now?

• Step 4: Nope, KIDNAP her from her own room instead.

• Step 5: Heal her injuries… WITH KISSES. – Like, sir… what is this decision-making process???

Bro could’ve just said “Piya, don’t work for my evil vampire brother,” but instead, he was like, “Time to commit multiple crimes instead!”

At this point, Abhay wasn’t just a useless vampire—he was also a confused criminal.

• Hit and run? ✅

• Kidnapping? ✅

• Breaking and entering? ✅

• Attempted manslaughter but make it romantic? ✅✅✅

Abhay didn’t need supernatural enemies—his biggest enemy was his own brain cells.

This is gold for me

🏃🏽‍♀️ 🚗💨

all he had to do was tell her the truth but nope

Originally posted by: InfinitySoul

I could not stop

Chand and Haseena entered like regal, powerful vampires but quickly turned into overprotective, overdramatic parents whose only goal was to stop their son from dating a girl they didn’t approve of.

First impression:

• Slow-motion walks.

• Intimidating stares.

• Fancy clothes and cryptic one-liners.

• Gave serious ancient, powerful vampire energy.

After that? They did NOTHING except nag Abhay 24/7.

• “Abhay, don’t save Piya!”

• “Abhay, don’t fall in love!”

• “Abhay, don’t interfere with humans!”

• “Abhay, stop making bad dating choices!”

At this point, they weren’t vampire elders—they were just strict parents trying to stop their son from dating someone they thought was a bad influence.

• They had ZERO action scenes.

• They barely used any powers.

• They sat in their gothic mansion, drinking fake blood, and giving warnings Abhay never listened to.

Even the trees attacking Piya were more active than Chand and Haseena.

OMG DEEPANITA KHURANA—the most useless “villain” who talked big but did absolutely nothing.

• She came into town all dramatic, acting like some powerful, vengeful werewolf leader.

• She was supposed to avenge her son, make Abhay’s life hell, and be a terrifying threat.

• She built up so much hype about her revenge plan… and then?? NOTHING.

Like seriously, what did she even do??

• Gave a few evil stares.

• Threatened a lot but barely acted.

• Let her son Jeh do all the work (badly, might I add).

• Got defeated way too easily.

Jeh: “Mom, I will kill Abhay!”

Deepanita: “Yes, beta, go ahead.” Sits back and sips tea.

Meanwhile, the vampires didn’t even take her seriously.

• Even Chand and Haseena, the laziest vampires, weren’t worried about her.

• Abhay wasn’t scared of her for even a second.

• Her own son Jeh did more work than her (and he was a walking disaster).

At this point, the trees attacking Piya had a higher success rate than Deepanita’s revenge plan.

Chandeena as the typical Indian parent is something I never considered