Originally posted by: BollyBabe75
The part about never starting the divorce if he knew it would break her or words to that affect. To me it shows that he is not so depressed that he doesn’t have self awareness of his actions.
Yes, he has dealt with a lot but he runs away from his feelings, doesn’t reach out and tries to handle it alone. He has an irrational fear of having a child for some probably traumatic reason, and refuses to discuss it with his wife. Finally, it’s all catching up to him.
He functions well outwardly so others don’t suspect his out of control feelings. But the point is he knows he is spiraling, thinks about going for counseling and as his habit runs away from confronting and thinks he can handle it on his own and the bad decisions start and pile up. He himself realizes he could use help and doesn’t act on it. Now that he has rendered devastation it looks like he may be willing to seek councilling.
I think we mixing up his personality, his upbringing, and the issues he is facing. He did not get help before the divorce because he thought he could handle whatever was happening. But once divorce goes through, he is unable to sleep, worried out of his mind for Khushi and he finds the help. Or atleast goes to the doctor to get sleeping pills. His limits are different from what we think should be.
And if you notice, he does not get help until he thinks he is the only one suffering. He genuinely tries to have a baby with Khushi, but each time he is unable to. And everytime Khushi tells him the pregnancy test was negative, he cannot help but feel relief. He is a 100% convinced he would never want kids. He does not think his not wanting kids is a mental health issue. So why would he seek help at that time? Maybe the reason for not wanting kids is something he KNOWS he would never get closure on. And he could just be convinced that no mental health professional in the world can make him want to have kids. So why would he go get help?
When you say people are coddling him, I do not agree with that assessment. No one is cutting him slack for his decisions to not talk to Khushi. But there is an acknowledgement of logic behind why he didn't talk to her about the baby issue, from his perspective. Even if he had talked he was convinced Khushi would compromise for him. And he did not want her to compromise for him anymore. And he did not want to keep feeling guilty anymore. I can understand why he thought of divorce.
Everything that happened after that was unfortunate. Yes, he stayed back at that party, but that does not mean he deserved to get raped/molested. The pregnancy scam. The photos. Khushi finding out before he could talk to her. Khushi misunderstanding why he had lawyers involved already. It's like a chain reaction in a nuclear reactor. Murphy's Law.
You cannot find empathy for Arnav and feel that readers here are cutting him a lot of slack. But why does no one ask why Khushi does not confront a husband of 10 years for cheating before leaving him and cutting him off? The same question that she asks Arnav after returning from Lucknow, could have been asked before going to Lucknow. Why not? It is because people behave differently in the face of life changing events. When she was faced with the idea of divorce, she was able to put Arnav in the front. She even thought "oh he must have thought through what he has decided". Or that "he never loved her/does not love her". Or that she was burden. She also thought at least she has some family to go back to. But her rock bottom came when she realized that no, she does not have anyone!. That is when she had the courage to ask him the question of why he did that to her. For the first time, she was able to put herself in front of Arnav's needs and ask that question for the sake of her self respect!
Anyway, I digress. But the point I am trying to make is that timing is everything in people's lives. We have the third person point of view and hence, we are able to pinpoint and say, oh he should have gotten help here. Oh he should have known. But no, people do not react that way when faced with such agony.
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