Power imbalance in the pairings - Page 2

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Abhira from the insta love, to the suicide emotional coercion to the very frequent divorce farmaans are a very toxic and abusive dynamic. Akshara has always been punished in that relationship.

Akshnav on the other hand, discuss and disagree with each other. They even go against each other's wishes to each other's detriment. Abhinav bypassed Akshara's very valid concerns to not go to Udaipur. Akshara bypassed his wishes to reveal the truth to Birla at the very beginning. And yet they manage to not emotionally, verbally, or economically abuse each other just because someone effs up a few times.

And then let me not get into the Schrödinger's independence of women where they are not independent for remarrying but also turning their husbands powerless simultaneously

The things you say to define Abhira story are your views. I doubt your feelings matches with Akshara considering the proposal you define as something suicidal dhamki and all. That girl put the same in her mehndi coz she liked it.

I have once shared about dobler-dahmer theory it is the same.

About Akshnav discussing things hardly. Muska wedding Akshara kind of manipulated Abhina's decision. After discussing nahi they came to same conclusion, Abhir k surgery k liye aana discussion nahi tha Abhinav had to put his foot time- i liked him in the situation and aese hi many others.

Few incidents toh then Abhira too have aese where they discussed things.

Originally posted by: Deltablues

I don't think that I make more illogical statements than saying that a woman has all the power in her current relationship because she allegedly made mistakes in her previous relationship and did not wait around to talk things over with her ex after being handed a predrafted divorce papers, after being accused of not only her own miscarriage but also the death of her own mother by him.

So when should she have waited to talk to Abhimanyu? Before he signed the divorce papers or after he said lo ho gaya divorce?

Any relationship can't be defined by one incident.

With all due respect I feel that's what you do with Abhira

Originally posted by: chaipaani

Any relationship can't be defined by one incident.

With all due respect I feel that's what you do with Abhira

Nah man, any relationship doesn't need more than one abusive act to be called abusive. But then there was also the very public engagement with Arohi just to make Akshara jealous enough to 'accept her feelings for him' to which he felt entitled to because he had guessed them —her unequivocal "no" be damned. Then there was the emotional coercion of a younger woman by faking a suicide to make her accept the feelings that he knew she had for him even when she had said no

Lol

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Nah man, any relationship doesn't need more than one abusive act to be called abusive. But then there was also the very public engagement with Arohi just to make Akshara jealous enough to 'accept her feelings for him' to which he felt entitled to because he had guessed them —her unequivocal "no" be damned. Then there was the emotional coercion of a younger woman by faking a sucide to make her accept the feeling that he knew she had for him even when she had said no

Lol

I can't keep having the same conversation on loop. But all these are your feelings towards the characters and their relationship.

Neither many others like me nor Akshara herself have ever said anything in these lines.

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Abhira from the insta love, to the suicide emotional coercion to the very frequent divorce farmaans are a very toxic and abusive dynamic. Akshara has always been punished in that relationship.

Akshnav on the other hand, discuss and disagree with each other. They even go against each other's wishes to each other's detriment. Abhinav bypassed Akshara's very valid concerns to not go to Udaipur. Akshara bypassed his wishes to reveal the truth to Birla at the very beginning. And yet they manage to not emotionally, verbally, or economically abuse each other just because someone effs up a few times.

And then let me not get into the Schrödinger's independence of women where they are not independent for remarrying but also turning their husbands powerless simultaneously

Originally posted by: Deltablues

I don't think that I make more illogical statements than saying that a woman has all the power in her current relationship because she allegedly made mistakes in her previous relationship and did not wait around to talk things over with her ex after being handed a predrafted divorce papers, after being accused of not only her own miscarriage but also the death of her own mother by him.

So when should she have waited to talk to Abhimanyu? Before he signed the divorce papers or after he said lo ho gaya divorce?

u have posted multiple times so quoting at once

@bold - didnt say that its because of her past relation mistake, with ak its a pattern which shes continuing in this relation as well imo. during all the drama with abhir;s real dad identify, where was nav? why he wasnt sitting down with ak and giving his inputs regarding co parenting. did kairav ask him before sending restraining order? did ak spoke with her fmaily along with nav regarding abhir?

again didnt say she has to talk to abhi. abhi isnt mentioned in the post beyond past marriage with ak. kindly dont drag him and derail the topic

u say about suicidal insta love a lot. what abt the fact ak chose this strange man, lived with him for months and then married him just to make him a father? is a man only supposed to be in a marriage for being a dad? he need a wife too, someone with whom he can make plans of life. did ak ever give him the choice in that?

the thing with nav/ak is nav dont come with a baggage of broken family. yeah nav accidentally let out truth to abhi in a drunken phone call, ak didnt yell at him for that. bt ak wanted to fix relation between harsh and abhi whos an actual abuser. there is the difference. that says more abt who ak chose to love and let be than abhi or nav. she did same thing with arohi- aro keeps flip flopping between hating ak and loving her, bt ak has aways loved and covered for her. why so? why her ex family didnt get the courtesy? how do u measure divorce with childhood trauma of accusing to kill her own mom?

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Women being able to take autonomous decisions after discussing and disagreeing with their partners is power imbalance equitable to— lemme wait— "Meri baat kyon nahi maanti" *slam-upturn bed to the side of a miscarrying woman* *machismo machismo* *emotional outburst emotional outburst.*

once again, u repeat these things in every post

yeah abhi yelled. what happened before it? u say it like he woke up one morning, lost his mind and went on rampage. what preceeded that yelling? what made him yell?

whatever he said regarding their life and warned her was truth which she negated. i m not even going to pregnancy tracks

aro is a criminal, her defending her. she ended up coming to wedding cz ak was sad

abhi repeatedly told he has broken family. ak is like i dont want to know that i will fix. u cant fix something which is broken

he didnt make her miscarry btw. she did that her own.

Originally posted by: Krinya

Like all others she's poorly written character . Yet , a huge section of audience sympathize with her plight bec of her past.

Why so much expectations from akshara and abhinav , we know , the writing is pathetic so it Is for everyone.

Everyone knows the solution to these problems is not yelling at each other and blaming , at least the elders could sit down and talk bec they were still at good terms.

huge section of audience-how do you judge that?

expectation is there from other characters too. they are leads right? i dont have expectations btw, was a generic observation. yeah writing is pathetic for everyone bt only few characters are called out for their behaviors.

lol @bold yeah they could hv bt that dont make good tv does it😆bp conveniently forgot he was the one with challenge and his own granddaughter ak didnt tell him that

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

Akshara is weakest fl all the shows that i have watched. She can never be a good example for any women.

She failed to take actions when it's necessary. I am not saying because she got married to abhinav. But the way she is dealing with everything is wierd and illogical.

Finding a father.

Finding a funder for her child.

Insulting her ex even after herself acknowledging that he is a good parent.

Acting inhumane towards others.

I am only comparing her with typical fl. Not with real life characters. There is no difference between what she is doing or what kamolika would have done if anurag rejected her 😂

With the current narrative,even arohi looks sensible and mature infront of akshu even though she is the worst character of yrkkh.

in real life things would have been way different starting from their marriage. not even going there lmao. bt yeah her hypocrisy regarding her fmaily and anyone outside that is astounding. its like her family was selected few- bp, mimi her sis bro xyz. birlas didnt make the cut. not when they were good, now to there is no chance😆 if only she passionately defended her past relation. or just went back to her family with nav and stayed there, she wouldnt be losing the custody. her big words are coming back to her and its all karma. why her expectation is with abhi- she dont want to make her son like him- bt no issue if hes bearing expenses? if she had abhir she was planning saal mein ek baar visit with abhi, why she can come to meet her kid anytime she wants and nobody can say anything?

Originally posted by: LadooCandy

Akshara always does passive violence which some people refuse to acknowledge. According to them , a physically grown up woman akshara can go away with lying , hiding things , paternity fraud, fake passport fraud , emotionally manipulating people to give up their lives , erasing a father's existence from his child ....

Akshara being akshara , is entitled to tower over a family who are grieving over their dead ones and refuse them personal space regardless of how much they beg for it ...... because , she can allege *DV / Abuse * against anyone , even when she was never subjected to the said crime . Dare someone ask her to leave the grieving family alone whose members she had killed because it will be termed as abuse .

yeah especially the way she holds collar of men- only abhi though. bt him roaring and yelling is abusive😆 if he had held her wrist or hold her dupatta in threatning manner u should hv seen mahila mukti morcha complaints being filed in bccc😆 her lying hiding threatening is all fine cz woman.

which makes me think . if roles are reversd- say kairav and muskan. kairav taking all decisions and muskan remained clueless, is it fine? or maybe msukan taking abhir and ak somewhere, ak got into accident, muskan ran away and raised her kid with another man, would that would have been fine?

@bold yeah i gotthe same from WD alleged abusive epis.

Originally posted by: Swetha-Sai

Beautifully penned post! :)

Basically, she wanted Abhi to be her YES man, allow her to take decisions and support her no matter what. When Abhi couldn’t do that, it was not at all ok for her.

Divorce happened due to Neil and unborn kids death due to her foolishness in pregnancy.

When she figures that one of kids is alive, she marries a stranger Abhinav ( who’s an insecure man child and Yes man ) and successfully manages to keep her child away from his biological father.

IMO, this is first time in ITV wherein FL is a delusional, egotistic and gaslighting vamp.

P.S. I wish HC dumps this show or gets a new FL.

thank you for replying!

i didnt watch nav that much so ignoring his role, bt in a marriage which is supposed to be equal stable happy perfect the man has zero say. its like nav was fine till he was raising the kid, changing his diaper and sleeping with him bt actual decisions has to be taken by mom- who's record in good decisions has been lacking since day 1. i wish nav atlst speaks up, hes missing abhir too. he can atlst ask her why he wasnt with her family having discussion regarding the custody, why his inputs wasnt taken for co parenting? why he wouldnt go talk to abhi regarding the case.

ak was always very good and crying and make people agree with her- what she did with bp too when he bashed her for hiding abhir's truth😆when she was married with abhi she did the same.

i wish it too bt hc is getting paid. i hope hes happy

Akshara is a horrible decision maker & played with Abhimanyu's emotions many times.. During the pre confession time, Akshara loved Abhimanyu & she knew that Abhimanyu too loves her but still she was silent & on the wedding day, she ran to confess her feelings for Abhimanyu, when she was pushed to the edge.. She was doing all this to keep her sister happy but at the end, she only broke her sister's heart.

During Abhira mehendi time, she was given option either to choose wedding without Aarohi's presence or life without Abhimanyu. And she couldn't even make this simple decision.. She literally had to be convinced by the elders of the family to choose Abhimanyu.

Pre wedding, when Abhimanyu wanted to share his childhood trauma & family dynamics with Akshara, she just refused to listen him at all.. She was only interested in having her grand wedding.

After wedding, Abhimanyu always said her to stay away from family issues & focus just on their married life.He was just trying to shield her from his toxic family..But Akshara as usual never listened to Abhimanyu & use to mess up things.

Married couples do have disagreements, but Akshara used to run away to her mayka after having a tiff with Abhimanyu everytime. While Abhimanyu was always straight forward with his stance, Akshara always used beat around the bush & not coming to the point.

During first leap, she disappeared without informing anyone.. She could fake passport & visa, could take her brother abroad, have a shop in Mauritius but she never bothered to leave any message for Abhimanyu about her whereabouts... She was happily feeding Kachori to Maya & dancing with her while Abhimanyu was suffering from mental trauma, depression & insomnia... She didn't leave behind a single clue or message for Abhimanyu.. And after coming back the first thing she did was she started crying about her not having ice cream & eating broccoli.. Abhimanyu said her he never want her to sacrifice anything.. He just wanted her presence in his life.. He just wanted to have a happy married life with her.

During her pregnancy, Abhimanyu treated her like a glass doll but he had to leave for Jaipur for his works.. He asked her to take utmost care of herself. But we all know what happened after that.. Her horrible & impulsive decision took away 3 lives.. How horrible she was.. She couldn't even take care of herself even for 24 hours.

Even after all this, on white day after miscarriage Abhimanyu made her drink water & asked her to take rest as he knew her presence was triggering Manjiri & Manjiri will blust her.. Even Manjiri repeatedly asked her to give her personal space & let her mourn peacefully.. But she kept triggering Manjiri & Aarohi with her presence, till Manjiri pushed her away.

After she ran away to Kasauli, & came to know she was pregnant, she could have stayed with her friend Priya or could have taken financial help of Goenkas to stay peacefully in Kasauli & have a safe pregnancy & delivery but she chose to hide & freeload on a stranger because her intention was to take revenge from Abhimanyu because he rejected her phone call. So, she replaced Abhimanyu in the life of his own son...

Hats off to her guts .She has audacity to take revenge from someone,who lost 3 family members just because of her carelessness & from someone, she claimed to love.

She created mess with her stubbornness & poor decisions & then ran away while Abhimanyu was left behind to clear the mess, she created & bring normalcy in the life of his grieving family and still Akshara has guts to take revenge from an already broken & grieving man.

There is a difference between being Vile & strong... Akshara is vile & insensitive.. She is not strong.. The 2rs attitude that she shows to Abhimanyu is not savage, it's just garbage... It just shows how insensitive, vile & cruel she is..

Originally posted by: CreativeBuff

Akshara is a horrible decision maker & played with Abhimanyu's emotions many times.. During the pre confession time, Akshara loved Abhimanyu & she knew that Abhimanyu too loves her but still she was silent & on the wedding day, she ran to confess her feelings for Abhimanyu, when she was pushed to the edge.. She was doing all this to keep her sister happy but at the end, she only broke her sister's heart.

During Abhira mehendi time, she was given option either to choose wedding without Aarohi's presence or life without Abhimanyu. And she couldn't even make this simple decision.. She literally had to be convinced by the elders of the family to choose Abhimanyu.

Pre wedding, when Abhimanyu wanted to share his childhood trauma & family dynamics with Akshara, she just refused to listen him at all.. She was only interested in having her grand wedding.

After wedding, Abhimanyu always said her to stay away from family issues & focus just on their married life.He was just trying to shield her from his toxic family..But Akshara as usual never listened to Abhimanyu & use to mess up things.

Married couples do have disagreements, but Akshara used to run away to her mayka after having a tiff with Abhimanyu everytime. While Abhimanyu was always straight forward with his stance, Akshara always used beat around the bush & not coming to the point.

During first leap, she disappeared without informing anyone.. She could fake passport & visa, could take her brother abroad, have a shop in Mauritius but she never bothered to leave any message for Abhimanyu about her whereabouts... She was happily feeding Kachori to Maya & dancing with her while Abhimanyu was suffering from mental trauma, depression & insomnia... She didn't leave behind a single clue or message for Abhimanyu.. And after coming back the first thing she did was she started crying about her not having ice cream & eating broccoli.. Abhimanyu said her he never want her to sacrifice anything.. He just wanted her presence in his life.. He just wanted to have a happy married life with her.

During her pregnancy, Abhimanyu treated her like a glass doll but he had to leave for Jaipur for his works.. He asked her to take utmost care of herself. But we all know what happened after that.. Her horrible & impulsive decision took away 3 lives.. How horrible she was.. She couldn't even take care of herself even for 24 hours.

Even after all this, on white day after miscarriage Abhimanyu made her drink water & asked her to take rest as he knew her presence was triggering Manjiri & Manjiri will blust her.. Even Manjiri repeatedly asked her to give her personal space & let her mourn peacefully.. But she kept triggering Manjiri & Aarohi with her presence, till Manjiri pushed her away.

After she ran away to Kasauli, & came to know she was pregnant, she could have stayed with her friend Priya or could have taken financial help of Goenkas to stay peacefully in Kasauli & have a safe pregnancy & delivery but she chose to hide & freeload on a stranger because her intention was to take revenge from Abhimanyu because he rejected her phone call. So, she replaced Abhimanyu in the life of his own son...

Hats off to her guts .She has audacity to take revenge from someone,who lost 3 family members just because of her carelessness & from someone, she claimed to love.

She created mess with her stubbornness & poor decisions & then ran away while Abhimanyu was left behind to clear the mess, she created & bring normalcy in the life of his grieving family and still Akshara has guts to take revenge from an already broken & grieving man.

There is a difference between being Vile & strong... Akshara is vile & insensitive.. She is not strong.. The 2rs attitude that she shows to Abhimanyu is not savage, it's just garbage... It just shows how insensitive, vile & cruel she is..

Obviously Abhimanyu and Neil were littul babies here who got manipulated by vile Goenka sisters. Not educated, well-developed adults considerably older than both these women lololol.

"She literally had to be convinced by the elders of the family to choose Abhimanyu."

How dare she have any notion of consent?!?

(Before anyone explains to me how she secretly loved him and consent doesn't matter, a diabetic can love sweets and still choose not to eat them. No one can fake a suicide to manipulate them to eat sweets.)

You know all the healthy men who have to get engaged to the sister of the girl they supposedly like and then fake an effing suicide to get the girl to say yes to them.

From all the things, you have mentioned everything starts with Abhimanyu said x, Akshara did y. Hence, Akshara bad. Akshara wasn't a recalcitrant child who would have ended up on the right side if she would have only heeded to great, responsible Dr. Birla. She is an effing adult with agency of her own.

How infantalising is it to say that I got engaged to your sister and then very publicly humiliated your sister by faking a suicide on the day of the wedding just to marry you but please don't get involved in my family matters lol.

People wax poetics about how Akshara is insensitive and a bad mother because she did not keep herself, her foetuses safe. But was her foetuses' lives morally anymore sacred than the lives of the children she was trying to save? Are those children's lives any less important because they don't share DNA with great non-abusive Abhimanyu Birla?

A child's life is a child's life. A foetus is not even independent of mother and legally not considered a separate entity till after 20 weeks of the pregnancy.

Anyhow, morally, she was the one who's body was harmed in an accident while trying to save numerous children's lives and a whole ass man had the audacity to abuse her for being in pain. Because his adult brother took a decision which said that it was okay to risk his life to save other children's lives.

@bold : what in the manic pixie hell. Bros, the younger girls who remind you of your mother because they are singing a random song at a random temple. Whom you emotionally manipulate to get "yes" out of them are not your therapists. They are not supposed to either be your trauma dumping site or free ki grief counsellors lol. Especially if you-are-a-god-s-gift-to -medical-science surgeon, please consult other medical professionals to cure your childhood trauma.

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Obviously Abhimanyu and Neil were littul babies here who got manipulated by vile Goenka sisters. Not educated, well-developed adults considerably older than both these women lololol.

You know all the healthy men who have to get engaged to the sister of the girl they supposedly like and then fake an effing suicide to get the girl to say yes to them.

From all the things, you have mentioned everything starts with Abhimanyu said x, Akshara did y. Hence, Akshara bad. Akshara wasn't a recalcitrant child who would have ended up on the right side if she would have only heeded to great, responsible Dr. Birla. She is an effing adult with agency of her own.

How infantalising is it to say that I got engaged to your sister and then very publicly humiliated your sister by faking a suicide on the day of the wedding just to marry you but please don't get involved in my family matters lol.

People wax poetics about how Akshara is insensitive and a bad mother because she did not keep herself, her foetuses safe. But was her foetuses lives morally anymore sacred than the lives of the children she was trying to save? Are those children's lives any less important because they don't share DNA with great non-abusive Abhimanyu Birla?

A child's life is a child's life. A foetus is not even independent of mother and legally not considered a separate entity till after 20 weeks of the pregnancy.

Anyhow, morally, she was the one who's body was harmed in an accident while trying to save numerous children's lives and a whole ass man had the audacity to abuse her for being in pain. Because his adult brother took a decision which said that it was okay to risk his life to save other children's lives.

@bold : what in the manic pixie hell. Bros, the younger girls who remind you of your mother because they are singing a random song at a random temple. Whom you emotionally manipulate to get "yes" out of them are not your therapists. They are not supposed to either be your trauma dumping site or free ki grief counsellors lol. Especially if you-are-a-god-s-gift-to -medical-science surgeon, please consult other medical professionals to cure your childhood trauma.

You need to rewatch the show dude🤣

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Obviously Abhimanyu and Neil were littul babies here who got manipulated by vile Goenka sisters. Not educated, well-developed adults considerably older than both these women lololol.

"She literally had to be convinced by the elders of the family to choose Abhimanyu."

How dare she have any notion of consent?!?

(Before anyone explains to me how she secretly loved him and consent doesn't matter, a diabetic can love sweets and still choose not to eat them. No one can fake a suicide to manipulate them to eat sweets.)

You know all the healthy men who have to get engaged to the sister of the girl they supposedly like and then fake an effing suicide to get the girl to say yes to them.

From all the things, you have mentioned everything starts with Abhimanyu said x, Akshara did y. Hence, Akshara bad. Akshara wasn't a recalcitrant child who would have ended up on the right side if she would have only heeded to great, responsible Dr. Birla. She is an effing adult with agency of her own.

How infantalising is it to say that I got engaged to your sister and then very publicly humiliated your sister by faking a suicide on the day of the wedding just to marry you but please don't get involved in my family matters lol.

People wax poetics about how Akshara is insensitive and a bad mother because she did not keep herself, her foetuses safe. But was her foetuses' lives morally anymore sacred than the lives of the children she was trying to save? Are those children's lives any less important because they don't share DNA with great non-abusive Abhimanyu Birla?

A child's life is a child's life. A foetus is not even independent of mother and legally not considered a separate entity till after 20 weeks of the pregnancy.

Anyhow, morally, she was the one who's body was harmed in an accident while trying to save numerous children's lives and a whole ass man had the audacity to abuse her for being in pain. Because his adult brother took a decision which said that it was okay to risk his life to save other children's lives.

@bold : what in the manic pixie hell. Bros, the younger girls who remind you of your mother because they are singing a random song at a random temple. Whom you emotionally manipulate to get "yes" out of them are not your therapists. They are not supposed to either be your trauma dumping site or free ki grief counsellors lol. Especially if you-are-a-god-s-gift-to -medical-science surgeon, please consult other medical professionals to cure your childhood trauma.

What I don't understand is how every thing comes down to the day Neil died. The answer to every thing is "Abhimanyu kicked AK at her lowest when she was in pain". Let it be established that most of the people agree that Abhimanyu was extremely insensitive and irresponsible on the so called "white day" but that does not absolve AK totally. She was doing a good deed and circumstances led go this huge mishap. However, AK thinks she never-ever makes any mistakes and is always right. Agree she has a mind of her own and has right to consent. However so do others. But for AK that does not count...only her opinions matters. She did not have to agree with every thing Abhimanyu said and mostly she did not. But then she has to accept that others can disagree with her too..which was a huge dent to her ego.

I personally don't think she should have been offended if Abhimanyu asked her to stay out of his family matters. It's a decent expectation and don't see why it cannot be respected

Regarding feotus vs adult kids .... let's not even get there. Very sensitive and very controversial statement so I abstain for making any more comments on that.

However all of AK deeds cannot be justified based on that one incident. It's not like AK didn't do lot of other things like Hit and run. What AK is portraying now is "pot calling the kettle black"