Chivalry is dead? - Page 8

No you are right. Most men see women as inferior and want a slave or maid in name of partner. They like to dominate woman and want to control her, dictate her and hope she depends on them, moulds self as per their whims and serves them and their families and should have no ideas or independence or voice of her own.

They like their fragile egos to be massaged endlessly and hate women paying bills or earning or not being 'needy'. They feel emasculated seeing independent women it seems.

You put it perfectly and I must say you dodged a bullet. Yiu did nothing wrong by paying the bill.

You were right.

I hope you get someone who is not insecure nor feels hurt seeing a woman pay bill and does not want to keep women as dependent maids or slaves. Most insecure men with fragile ego like to infantilise women and bully them to feel like they are in charge. Best to avoid them and let them go with women who do not even earn let alone pay a penny of their own bills.

Originally posted by: Mrignaini

He didn't tell me the exact reason but his response was validating his own existence. Seemed more like a point proving exercise.

Have noticed most men like to pick a partner who they can educate, take responsibility for under their wing to feed their own male ego rather than level up or god forbid rely on their partner for a thing or two, intellectually. Or maybe I just pick lemons..

Plenty such insecure lot in this thread itself blaming women, feminism or assuming women compete with men even if they earn or pay bills. 🤣

Just fragile egos entirely hurt.

Amused how I never saw women being mocked for cooking for a man but I have seen plenty of men being mocked by other men and jealous women if they cook for own wife or take care of kids for eg. Yet it is fashion to blame feminism for own insecurities.

Your observation about most men is spot on. They want someone to be 'under their wing'. They do not want an equal partner. Forget partner, many also curb growth and ambitions of daughters and resent her independence and some can never tolerate even their sons out doing or outshining them or making it without always toeing their line. Most men mostly want total control and obedience and see wife and kids as property. It is rare to find men who are secure enough and accept independence and self reliance of women or kids.

It is all about their own fragile egos for most of them.

Originally posted by: CrimeMasterToto

A guy could pay the dinner bill and be an absolute shithead, while another could offer to go Dutch and be a genuinely good soul. If the next date is decided by judging the guy based on whether he picked up the bill or not, it's sadly speaks about the woman more than the man

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

So many pages, and I am disappointed that no one, not even myself, has pointed out that chivalry has nothing to do with women but everything to do with horses. 😆

It comes from chevaler the French word for horse, leading to chevalier, cavalier, or knight.

Apparently, this is the code for chivalry (from Wikipedia but the historic source cited is legit)

Thou shalt believe all that the Church teaches and thou shalt observe all its directions.

Thou shalt defend the Church.

Thou shalt respect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.

Thou shalt love the country in which thou wast born.

Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.

Thou shalt make war against the infidel without cessation and without mercy.

Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties, if they be not contrary to the laws of God.

Thou shalt never lie, and shalt remain faithful to thy pledged word.

Thou shalt be generous, and give largesse to everyone.

Thou shalt be everywhere and always the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil

So technically, a dude can refuse to open doors, make the woman pay the entire bill, and still be chivalrous. I believe Ted Cruz and Ron De Santis are chivalrous men (minus the lying maybe).

Yea I knew this, Hadey, it just didn’t seem like the right platform to talk about. 😆 Also I really dislike the word “chivalry.” Basic respect, even better, manners, is most apt!

Been so long I saw you here!

Originally posted by: atominis

Plenty such insecure lot in this thread itself blaming women, feminism or assuming women compete with men even if they earn or pay bills. 🤣

Just fragile egos entirely hurt.

Amused how I never saw women being mocked for cooking for a man but I have seen plenty of men being mocked by other men and jealous women if they cook for own wife or take care of kids for eg. Yet it is fashion to blame feminism for own insecurities.

Your observation about most men is spot on. They want someone to be 'under their wing'. They do not want an equal partner. Forget partner, many also curb growth and ambitions of daughters and resent her independence and some can never tolerate even their sons out doing or outshining them or making it without always toeing their line. Most men mostly want total control and obedience and see wife and kids as property. It is rare to find men who are secure enough and accept independence and self reliance of women or kids.

It is all about their own fragile egos for most of them.

Forget paying bills and things - those are at a personal level. A lot of folks can't even hack it when they see a woman at an equal footing in someone else's relationship

You should see the looks we get when I am riding pillion with the missus on her scooty. It's like they have never seen a sight like this before

Once she was driving our car and I had to be in the backseat due to an injured leg. The looks we got that day, mostly from men all ages and aunties. The guard at the place we were visiting, couldn't comprehend what was happening either - they usually ask the driver for name and number details to do the entry, but he couldn't bring himself up to talk to 'madam'. Got those details from me even after I asked him 'madam se puchho, mujhse kyu maang rahe ho'. We laughed about it at that time, but it's actually quite pathetic

It is dead because being nice doesn't get you anywhere today . Even women prefer bad guys than the ones who adore and respect them.

Originally posted by: mintyblue

so I feel chivalry is basically dead. new-age men know how to flirt, but forget that what wins a woman's heart over is old-fashioned manners such as opening doors, offering to carry heavy objects, or paying for dinner....

Do you guys miss the good old' chivalrous days?

I am saying this because I went on a date recently and the guy was like let's split the bill at this very expensive restaurant he had chosen. Of course, I didn't mind that as I would have offered the same myself but I do feel he shouldn't have said it.

Needless to say, I'm not meeting him again.

What do you guys feel? Is chivalry an outdated concept or do you miss those days when men used to wine and dine women?

Recently, there was an uproar when Hrithik was seen holding Saba's slippers. I think such things have become so unusual that even small acts of chivalry are dissected.

Yes I agree with you. But women are no better either. Men and women have both forgotten what respect and etiquettes are. People these days are just selfish and self obsessed. I blame technology.

Originally posted by: la_Reine

Yes I agree with you. But women are no better either. Men and women have both forgotten what respect and etiquettes are. People these days are just selfish and self obsessed. I blame technology.

Exactly. Most people have become so selfish and greedy these days. It's disgusting. Now what were you saying the other day about the gift you had for me? Was it an expensive gift? If so, can you send it to me asap? I understand you're busy but it'd be great if you can prioritize this. Thanks in advance.

I know that attitude firsthand.

My teacher would sometimes drive to her husband's ancestral village and he would be sitting besides her. They would take turns to drive as journey was long. People would GLARE at them and could not tolerate why woman was driving and man wad sitting or dozed off on seat.

My mom tells me, people used to mock my dad if he ever held me or my brother or changed our diapers or helped us in learning handwriting and would tell her it was not his job or mock my dad and blame my mom and it is my dad who shut up those relatives and neighbours and said it was his pleasure as a dad to be able to take care of and teach his kids and he enjoyed spending time with us.

My chacha was mocked for helping chachi in cooking, laundry and taking care of her when she was sick and also for taking care of his widowed MIL. Like what? Why can a man not take care of his wife or in laws if he wants? His own jealous relatives from extended family would call him weak or joru ka ghulam or claim he was a bullied man. Apparently helping in chores at own home and taking care of wife or in laws and parents and kids is wrong for a man and a man cannot balance home, parents, work, in laws if he wants to.

What I hate is men shaming men who support daughter, kids, wife, in laws or do anything at home. Like what is your issue if someone is close to wife, sister, kids, mom or respects rights, freedom of female family members too? Or why shame a man for taking care of own kids? And shaming men who are not perverts or creeps or do not indulge in misogyny or shaming men who are generally respectful of women and do not look down upon women, nor see women as sex objects? Or why shame men who earn less than women or are perhaps less educated than women?

There are equally jealous women also who perhaps lack a secure or supportive man in own life and hate to see a dad support daughter or brother support sister or husband and in laws support wife or any man support a woman in any way. So they project own frustrations at other women and men. They will then say man has pampered woman or woman dominates men blah blah.

This is sick and I am glad it is being called out and discussed now. Conversations will slowly make people rethink and hopefully initiate change in attitude.

Chivalry isn't dead...there simply aren't those lessons anymore which the aspiring knights had before their 'knight-exams'. Unfortunately, those lessons didn't guarantee that the knight later would be chivalrous indeed.

Chivalry mainly is about three "c" that men/boys should act on: being considerate towards, caring for and conscious about the needs and well-being of women/girls in general and the ones you live with in particular.

It still exists...also here in this forum...