Chivalry is dead? - Page 7

Chivalry is dead, because so called modern women killed it.

Ab bolo misogynist sexist ya kuch bhi, lekin yeh feminist k chodo ka kara dhara hai.

That asides, if the guy/girl selected the place of dine, they should pay for it.

Not judging or commenting on your situation, but just asking to "split the bill" on the first date should neither be a BIG DEAL, not a DEAL-BREAKER

I would say analyze the way he says it. It means a lot.👍🏼

There are plenty of a**ho**s out there with a lot of money who will pay your bills, but will make you feel inferior at every step.

At the same time, there are lot of opportunists guys out there who manipulate you into paying everything. So, one has to be careful.

Some girls aren't any better. They would label the guy a "misogynist" if he offers to pay the bill first.

Men offering to split the bill never seemed a sign of chivalry to me. To me, it seemed more of a result of inequality and male supremacy over the centuries, because historically most women didn't have the opportunity to work and earn money for themselves.

With time, more and more women have started earning, so they should be able to take care of themselves, as far as a restaurant bill is concerned. This is strictly my personal opinion.

I’m prepared for a barrage of essays and attacks 😆

Here are women fighting for equal pay, equal status, equal treatment etc., then why expect men to pay for the expenses and open car doors?

I dated a girl who used to ask me to recharge her mother’s and brother’s cell phones. I did that for a month and politely told her that I wasn’t the right person for her 😆

Another girl I met, I paid for all the expenses on our first outing, she said the next one was on her, I said alright. She never came up with any plans, needless to say I was a happy man 🤡

A friend of mine suggested his GF they take a bus, she said “bus se ghumaoge mujhe, cab karo”. This was when they were still studying and dependent on their parents’ pocket money. The girl never offered to split the cab expenses 🤪 He broke up after going broke 😆

Who would want to be chivalrous in these situations?

Mints, I’m with you. The guy shouldn’t have asked you to pay when he selected the expensive restaurant.

Originally posted by: TheMinion

I’m prepared for a barrage of essays and attacks 😆

Here are women fighting for equal pay, equal status, equal treatment etc., then why expect men to pay for the expenses and open car doors?

I dated a girl who used to ask me to recharge her mother’s and brother’s cell phones. I did that for a month and politely told her that I wasn’t the right person for her 😆

Another girl I met, I paid for all the expenses on our first outing, she said the next one was on her, I said alright. She never came up with any plans, needless to say I was a happy man 🤡

A friend of mine suggested his GF they take a bus, she said “bus se ghumaoge mujhe, cab karo”. This was when they were still studying and dependent on their parents’ pocket money. The girl never offered to split the cab expenses 🤪 He broke up after going broke 😆

Who would want to be chivalrous in these situations?

Mints, I’m with you. The guy shouldn’t have asked you to pay when he selected the expensive restaurant.

This. In morden time people are going on many first date. If the dude keep on paying for the first meeting he is losing it all.

Originally posted by: Maikhushboo

This. In morden time people are going on many first date. If the dude keep on paying for the first meeting he is losing it all.

Honestly guys need to stop offering to pay... dating someone isnt taking care of their expenses

Just the way women love working and being independent they should also happily split the bill and pay for their expenses (I am saying this as a woman)

(I am not talking about you Minty... you and I grew up in different gens so we see the dating world differently and I guess your gen loves this chivalry)

Personally speaking initially, I'd like the guy to make that little gesture of saying that he will be taking care of the bill while I insist on splitting it but I'd prefer the guy to atleast say that the dinner is on him. 😆 But again all of this only matters when you truly enjoyed the date and are willing to take it forward.

However, if it is a date where you don't see any potential or if it feels very dry, I'd not even want the guy to offer to pay the bill because it'll make me feel nothing extra which I didn't feel during the date. Basically I wont care enough.

Paying the bill is not the only gesture, even letting the other person pay the bill because they want you to make you feel special is also a gesture.

As the dates progess and when there is a good potential of that relationship taking a specific direction, I wouldn't mind if the guy takes care of the entire bill once in a while because eventually there will also be plenty of times where the girl can be the first one to take out that card to pay. Someone taking the onus of paying something by themselves does not make the other dependent. These are all little gestures. Either of them can take the lead depending on time and different situations.

I believe Chivalry goes both ways, If I am someone who believes in extending that courtesy , I also expect it from the other side.

Originally posted by: TheekThaak

Personally speaking initially, I'd like the guy to make that little gesture of saying that he will be taking care of the bill while I insist on splitting it but I'd prefer the guy to atleast say that the dinner is on him. 😆 But again all of this only matters when you truly enjoyed the date and are willing to take it forward.

However, if it is a date where you don't see any potential or if it feels very dry, I'd not even want the guy to offer to pay the bill because it'll make me feel nothing extra which I didn't feel during the date. Basically I wont care enough.

Paying the bill is not the only gesture, even letting the other person pay the bill because they want you to make you feel special is also a gesture.

As the dates progess and when there is a good potential of that relationship taking a specific direction, I wouldn't mind if the guy takes care of the entire bill once in a while because eventually there will also be plenty of times where the girl can be the first one to take out that card to pay. Someone taking the onus of paying something by themselves does not make the other dependent. These are all little gestures. Either of them can take the lead depending on time and different situations.

I believe Chivalry goes both ways, If I am someone who believes in extending that courtesy , I also expect it from the other side.

Couldn’t have put it better myself!! If I’ve no interest/didn’t enjoy the date, I ALWAYS make sure I go Dutch.. But if I did & the other party doesn’t even offer?! EWWWW.

I believe manners & courtesy go both ways too, for sure. And it’s a quality I genuinely deeply desire in a partner. Not the lip-service, performative type, most people today, esp men when they’re interested/attracted to a woman; indulge in. As someone who is surrounded by family members who even stand up when any woman enters the room, it’s imperative for me to surround myself with such people too.

Originally posted by: Mallika-E-Bhais

Couldn’t have put it better myself!! If I’ve no interest/didn’t enjoy the date, I ALWAYS make sure I go Dutch.. But if I did & the other party doesn’t even offer?! EWWWW.

I believe manners & courtesy go both ways too, for sure. And it’s a quality I genuinely deeply desire in a partner. Not the lip-service, performative type, most people today, esp men when they’re interested/attracted to a woman; indulge in. As someone who is surrounded by family members who even stand up when any woman enters the room, it’s imperative for me to surround myself with such people too.

One hundred percent agree to this. I am someone who can go that extra mile to extend basic manners or etiquette. I hold car doors, drop people till the end point if they have come to visit me, prefer to buy a gift or eatable when invited to someone's place, insist on paying bills if they have come to a place on my invitation. A lot of times, I don't even wait for the other person to pay those little payments while buying something on the street or taking a cab. And since I'm built that way, I would also like my partner to be someobody who actively extends that courtesy towards people in general and not just me. These are just basic gestures of respect which I truly believe in. A passive nature of doing the bare minimum is not my type and will never be. After reading a lot of posts here, I realized that may be these things are very individual specific and my preference is clear that way.

Might get crucified for this post Chivalry used to be about showing respect towards women and being polite. Not about a man paying for a woman's dinner on a date. That is so shallow, especially in today's times

A guy could pay the dinner bill and be an absolute shithead, while another could offer to go Dutch and be a genuinely good soul. If the next date is decided by judging the guy based on whether he picked up the bill or not, it's sadly speaks about the woman more than the man

PS: personally i hold doors open for anyone, not just women. The opportunity has to be present to do that organically. I am not going to go running ahead just to make that gesture, because thats comes across as so fake

So many pages, and I am disappointed that no one, not even myself, has pointed out that chivalry has nothing to do with women but everything to do with horses. 😆

It comes from chevaler the French word for horse, leading to chevalier, cavalier, or knight.

Apparently, this is the code for chivalry (from Wikipedia but the historic source cited is legit)

Thou shalt believe all that the Church teaches and thou shalt observe all its directions.

Thou shalt defend the Church.

Thou shalt respect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.

Thou shalt love the country in which thou wast born.

Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.

Thou shalt make war against the infidel without cessation and without mercy.

Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties, if they be not contrary to the laws of God.

Thou shalt never lie, and shalt remain faithful to thy pledged word.

Thou shalt be generous, and give largesse to everyone.

Thou shalt be everywhere and always the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil

So technically, a dude can refuse to open doors, make the woman pay the entire bill, and still be chivalrous. I believe Ted Cruz and Ron De Santis are chivalrous men (minus the lying maybe).