I now realise why my parents and grandparents often did not like rewatching old shows or films or got emotional and felt mixed emotions seeing old films. Either felt happy or got sad later.
It makes you realise how much time has passed and what all you are losing or lost.
Seema (Sridevi), Mogambo (Amrish), Calendar (Satish), Professor (Ashok Kumar) and one of Daga or Teja (the clean shaven one) from Mr India are dead now.
Robert, dads of Amar and Prem from AAA and Wah Wah studio wala photographer (Viju Khote, Mehmood, Jagdeep, Deven Verma) are dead now. The guy who played Anand Akela is also no more.
Munna's dad, Sunil Dutt in Munnabhai MBBS is long dead.
The guy who played Pakya in Rangeela is dead. Reema Lagoo who played mom in most iconic films of 90s be it QSQT, MPK, HAHK, HSSH, Rangeela, KKHH, Deewana Mastana etc is dead.
Neeraj Vohra who did roles in Akele hum Akele Tum, Mann, Mast etc is dead.
Vijay Anand who played detective Sam D Silva in Tehkikaat is dead.
Anandi (Pratyusha), Shiv (Siddharth Shukla), Dadisa (Surekha Sikhri) from Balika Vadhu are dead. SSR who was in Pavitra rishta, Shudh Desi Romance, MSD biopic is dead. Kushal Punjabi who was in so many films and shows and ads is dead.
I happened to watch a re run of Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi and was noting how many actors in it are no more now. It was an episode from 2007 but to mind it feels it was not that long ago...though lot of years have passed. The lady who played Baa is dead.
I cannot even watch Chandni or Nagina anymore on TV without wondering how its main leads and villain are all dead. Sridevi, Vinod, Rishi, Amrish are dead.
Deewana also makes me wistful as I notice how Divya Bharti, Rishi, Amrish are no more.
I cannot hear any song from DDLJ or Chandni without realising Lata is no more. It hurts to see Saudagar anymore as both Dilip and Raaj Kumar are no more and Amrish is also dead.
It hurts to see old Govinda films and realising Kader Khan, Reema Lagoo and Satish Kaushik are no more. Those films feel like yesterday...
Films, ads, TV, songs, artistes sort of become keepers of time. So many memories attached to them. Many times you are able to relive incidents of own life thanks to films or ads or tv shows you watched together or while doing some activity.
I guess many of us also lose sense of present or remain in denial of changes or loss or relive old days, remain frozen in time or revisit past and bring it alive, thanks to films, TV, video or books or audio.
Artistes become keepers and preservers of time. They are a timestamp on their own.
It hurts when there is loss of an artiste be it actor, singer or writer or someone you have grown up seeing or various generations grew up with them.
Cruel reminder of how some times are lost and are never going to come back and things will never be same again and you cannot revisit or get back or retain or preserve anything. You cannot re read chapters of life in exact detail again. And there are losses, no one can replace.
Some artistes literally feel eternal and it seems they are everywhere and will remain so. They are in every other film or ad and their old work runs TV channels too. It hurts even more when they are not there again.
They live through their work though.
I can only imagine what it will feel like if something happens to more 'forever been there' stars like Amitabh, Dharam, Hema, Rekha, Anupam Kher, Paresh Rawal, Anil, Khans, MD etc. I still cannot accept Sridevi is no more.
Death of an artiste always shakes you and brings you back to harsh reality and their old work is also hard to revisit after a point of time as it reminds you of how much time has passed, how many people and places you have also lost in all these years in own life and what all is never going to be back or same again...
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